Chapter Text
Being a poor university student didn't bode well for having to buy a mandatory laptop, sure the Akademiya COULD have provided computers for every student but they strove to instead put their money towards education and wisdom rather than laptops for EVERY enrolled student.
And that's how Kaveh, an architecture student in the darshan of Kshahrewar, was scrambling for cash.
It was expensive enough being enrolled in such a school like the Akademiya, but it was his mother Faranak who arranged for her son to one day enroll.
In the Akademiya, every darshan had its rival darshan, Kshahrewar was no different, being notorious for butting heads with Haravatat, the darshan known for semiotics, studying linguistics and ancient runes.
While Kshahrewar is known for technology, studying practices including architecture and puzzle-solving.
Kaveh used to consider himself the only student to not share this hatred for the opposing rival darshan to the one he enrolled in. Being one of its only students to befriend a Haravatat student.
One who wasn't liked socially but respected due to his intelligence, his name was Alhaitham.
Kaveh knew Alhaitham deeper than the surface level impression most other students got from the monotone Haravatat student.
Being opposites in every way used to be a good thing for both students, getting to learn about the world from the other's perspective.
But it wasn't long before their differences became a bad thing, all because of one failed group project.
Their opposing ideals and beliefs came to bite them, and the two students separated in a series of hate fuelled arguments.
Kaveh stood before the Akademiya, with one thought circulating around his mind. "It's a new semester."
With this new semester in mind, the Akademiya introduced dormitories for each student to be able to live on campus while studying whatever it is that interested them.
Only problem was that it wasn't restricted by which darshan they were in. Spantamad and Amurta students were being paired up, a lucky coincidence for Kaveh's best friend Tighnari who began getting closer with Spantamad's Cyno.
"That's great, Tighnari! I wonder who I'm going to get for a roommate.." Kaveh held his phone up to his ear while making his way to his next lecture on architecture.
"Maybe you'll strike gold, who knows?" Tighnari balanced his phone close to his ear as he multitasked unpacking his dorm with his new friend and roommate Cyno being faintly heard in the background.
"I hope so. High School…Well, you know what happened. It wasn't a good experience for me." Kaveh sighed heavily as he stood outside the room his next class took place in.
"I know, Kaveh. Deep breaths, whoever you're roomed with...They're going to love you." Tighnari leaned his body weight against his dorm room's wall, keeping his phone to his ear.
"Yeah. Let's hope." Kaveh ran through the entire list of memorable students he's had brief conversations with in the halls that he could get paired with for the next few semesters.
"I just know it. Call it a friend's intuition." Tighnari spoke with reassurance in his voice, hoping to quell his friend's deepest fear: getting roomed with someone who hates him.
"Hey. I'll catch you later, my class is about to start." Kaveh pushed open the door to the next lecture on architecture that he wanted to really focus on and take notes about.
"Bye. We'll catch up after school, yeah? Love you." Tighnari smiled as he paced around his dorm, sparing one look at Cyno struggling to navigate the hell-scape that was their messy dorm.
"Love you too, Nari! I'll see you later." Kaveh smiled as he hung up and put his phone in his pocket before stepping into the classroom, luckily remembering to bring his sketchbook for art and note taking purposes with him.
As he sat down however.. He noticed a familiar face. One that reminded him of just how bad his last semester at the Akademiya was.
Why was Alhaitham here? He doesn't care about the arts, Haravatat was never interested in architecture, he assumed all students in that darshan felt the same.
Kaveh must have been staring for too long, because him and his former high school best friend locked eyes for a moment.
And Kaveh SCRAMBLED to force his gaze forward, focusing on the subject of the class in front of him.
It was like Alhaitham was appearing in all of his classes overnight, was he following him? He never had any interest in the arts, why is he suddenly so interested in learning about it?
AND WHY DOES HE KEEP LOOKING AT HIM WHILE HE'S TRYING TO TAKE NOTES ABOUT WHAT HE'S LEARNING?
On his way out of class, looking over his shoulder at every opportunity he could to make sure he wasn't be followed. Kaveh made a pit stop at the facility office, he was getting his dorm today, while it would be his own space, he'd have to share it with someone else.
Hopefully they're polite and respectful, not argumentive. It was a simple wish. But fate decided to pull a prank on him that day.
"Dorm 792. You're with a student of Haravatat." The university facility gave him his dorm room key, as Kaveh thanked them and made his way down the hall to the dorms.
"Dorm 792, 792.. Ah. There it is!" Kaveh popped the key into the keyhole and turned it before pushing open his new living space for the next few semesters until he graduated.
And who he was met with made his smile immediately fade. Kaveh blinked repeatedly, he HAS to be having some kind of nightmare, there's no way this is real.. right?
Kaveh paused in the entrance of his new living space for the next however many semesters they had left. Dorm keys in hand, his other hand clutching the door handle.
Met with short grey hair that turned lighter at the ends and with a few locks that display pale turquoise undersides.
And familiar light turquoise eyes with orange-ringed yellow pupils, just barely hidden behind reading glasses with white lens.
"Hi." Was all Alhaitham said as he continued to read the opened book held in one hand.
Sat on his single bed, having unpacked most of his belongings, he must have gotten here early.
"I have to be having a nightmare right now.. There is no way this is real..WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY DORM?!" Kaveh slammed the dorm door behind him, suddenly not caring about causing a scene and sending a noise complaint their way DAY ZERO.
"I'm your roommate for the semester. That much should be obvious." Alhaitham rose from the foot of his bed, removing his reading glasses and closing his book with one hand.
"OUT OF EVERYONE? God.. Just my luck.. Of course it'd be you. Fate is just hilarious like that." Kaveh flopped unceremoniously onto his new single bed that was completely unmade, ignoring how his back protested to it heavily.
It felt was if the bed springs were digging into his back and it was far from comfortable.
"Unfortunately for you, unless you have a justifiable reason to lodge a complaint against me. They don't accept last minute dorm switches easily." Alhaitham approached the defeated Kaveh lying on his own bed, looking down at his former friend with a blank stare as always.
"Great. GREAT! This is just fantastic!" Kaveh rose to his feet in a swift movement. Pacing back and forth mumbling about his bad luck and the insufferable person he has to share a living space with for how many semesters they have left before graduation.
Alhaitham, dressed in a hoodie, pulled his hood up over his head, reaching for his soundproof headphones and going back to reading as Kaveh's complaints were drowned out by whatever music he was listening to.
"And there he goes.. Ignoring me again!" Kaveh stormed over to where Alhaitham sat on the edge of his own bed, fighting the urge to pull his headphones off his ears in one fell swoop.
"Do you need something?" Alhaitham moved one earmuff to the side off his ear as he rose his eyebrow, staring Kaveh up and down, understanding just how furious he was.
What was more frustrating than rooming with Alhaitham was Kaveh's internalised reaction to that eyebrow raise and blank stare.
Okay. What the hell is wrong with him? He has to be losing it. His face flushed unceremoniously and he knew he was failing to hide it.
It's hot today, that's all! Kaveh tried to reason to himself, before realising in record time that it was in fact, cold for Sumeru.
But he runs hot really easily! Their dorm is right next to the afternoon sun, it was even peeking in through the blinds, that's all!
"As a matter of fact, yes I do! I need you to GET OUT. I need you to change dorms!" Kaveh's hands balled into fists as Alhaitham let out a deep sigh, crossing his arms as he put his half read book to the side again.
"Did you listen to a word I said earlier? Requesting a new dorm is easier said than done." Alhaitham rested his left leg on top of his right knee, keeping his arms crossed, digging his fingers into his hoodie sleeves.
"Are you kidding me?! I have to put up with YOU of all people for however many semesters we have left before graduation?" Kaveh threw his head back in frustration, resting his fists on his hips as he tapped his foot impatiently.
"What a curse. Learn to tune me out. Simple as that." Alhaitham grumbled under his breath, to tell the truth, he wasn't thrilled to see Kaveh on a daily basis. Or at least that's how he felt on the outside.
But in reality, It was deeper than that. He was harbouring deep seated feelings. Confusing feelings at that, losing his only friend due to their differences.
Alhaitham never considered himself a emotional person, he was always logical and rationality first over emotion.
Kaveh was the exact opposite, a very emotional person, to put it bluntly, he was Alhaitham's mirror.
"It's not that simple. You tune me out because you have headphones, I don't own any!" Kaveh could have admitted how harsh he was being, most often ignored Alhaitham, others respected his intelligence but despised his attitude.
Kaveh's feelings were complicated. This was Alhaitham, he was talking about. They used to be inseparable. At least until that day Kaveh ripped up their group paper right in front of Alhaitham's eyes.
Kaveh still vividly remembers that day, as if it happened recently.
The tears that streamed down his face as he declared the harshest thing he's ever said.
"I wish we never met! You're the worst thing that ever happened to me."
Kaveh was getting lost in his thoughts, he almost forgot where he was. Who he was standing right in front of.
"Sounds like you really can't stand my personality, senior. What changed?" Alhaitham couldn't deny that his voice had gotten quieter than it usually is, why was he suddenly so vulnerable? Emotions are confusing.
It was almost as if there were a invisible red string tying them together. It was as cruel as it was ironic.
Fate was funny like that. How hilarious of a prank was this? Not funny to Kaveh at all in the moment, in fact.
"It's… complicated. You know that." Kaveh relented, letting his anger go for a minute, deep down, it was much deeper than just suppressed anger.
"Fate brought us together for a reason. There has to be SOME explanation why I'm stuck with you of all people." Kaveh let his body weight shake the single bed with the frankly terrible and cheap bed springs.
"You believe in fate?" Alhaitham lifted his eyebrow, putting his half read book back on the bookshelf near his own bed.
Their beds were so.. close together. The dorm wasn't big to begin with. But this was just absurd.
And all of a sudden, Kaveh's face was hot to the touch again, he has to be coming down with some kind of sickness, this is NOT normal.
"You seem like the last person I'd expect to believe in such things." Alhaitham approached Kaveh's bed and without thinking, sat next to him.
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Kaveh flinched back at the sudden proximity, okay yeah, he didn't have to sit THAT close.
Unnecessary as it was.. ridiculous. Great and now his face is burning even hotter than it was before.
"You're stuck with me. Whether you like it or not. Let's face it." Alhaitham's voice wasn't far from his ear, it sent a chill down Kaveh's spine.
What the actual hell is wrong with him? His heart was going a mile a minute, he felt so.. dizzy all of a sudden.
Was this from pulling multiple all-nighters back to back to complete his assignments? Because there's no way that his face is burning this brightly because of ALHAITHAM of all people.
"I'd room with Tighnari.. but he seems to enjoy the company of his new dorm mate." Kaveh forced his gaze to stare down at the fidgeting hands in his lap.
Spare him from having to make eye contact with Alhaitham. Surely, SURELY. That'd help. Unfortunately, it did not. Far from it.
Okay what the hell is going on? This is ridiculous! His entire face was burning red, including his ears. This is some kind of joke from Fate surely!
Or maybe he's just sick, and this is a fever. Kaveh hoped it was the latter.
"You should know by now.. I like my personal space." Kaveh grumbled under his breath, scooting away from Alhaitham.
"I take it I make you nervous?" Alhaitham scoffed, it sounded absurd on his tongue, but he didn't know just how close to the truth he really was.
Despite his words, Alhaitham rose to his feet and walked off, in the direction of what Kaveh could only assume was their shared bathroom.
"Where are you going?" Kaveh couldn't help both his eyebrows from raising, blame it on his curious nature why don't you.
"To shower." Alhaitham offered a straightforward and thankfully not vague response. For once in his life that is.
"Right. Well, tell me what the water pressure is like." Kaveh rested his hands on his hips before crouching beside his bed, reaching for his school bag.
Specifically so he could practice his sketching, a hobby of his was drawing, helped with his vision of one day becoming a famous architect like his mother.
"Don't expect it to be anything spectacular. It's a dorm room shower after all." Kaveh mumbled as he sat with his back against his bed pillow and head board.
"I set my expectations accordingly." Alhaitham said before disappearing into the bathroom, the comically small bathroom at that. Shutting and locking the door behind him.
Kaveh hummed to himself as he put pencil to paper, doodling whatever came to mind. Finally getting a chance to practice architecture was just what he needed.
But it wasn't architecture he was doodling without a thought. It was people, correction, a person.
Someone oddly familiar. Short grey hair, lighter grey streaks, a turquoise underside to certain strands. The very same light turquoise eyes with orange and yellow ringed pupils.
The same frustratingly… handsome face. Piercing eyes.. ENOUGH. Kaveh you're confused.
Wait.. Handsome? No no no no. Alhaitham wasn't.. handsome. He was.. average. Sure he had eyes Kaveh could get lost in. And an appealing face shape and jawline.. But he wasn't anything.. breathtaking.
But this was just for practice, Kaveh reasoned to himself, his thoughts being interrupted by the shower head in the bathroom being turned off.
His only background noise was a faint water dripping. Difficult to correctly make out due to how quiet it really was. Even if their dorm room was deathly silent for the middle of a school day.
Alhaitham wasn't even all that special. Even despite saying that.. Kaveh couldn't reason to himself why he was still drawing a man he claimed he hated.
His overwhelmingly confusing thoughts were interrupted by the bathroom door unlocking and opening.
Kaveh didn't register just how close Alhaitham was.. until it was too late.
"Is that me?" Alhaitham leaned over his shoulder, apparently with no regard for personal space.
Kaveh jumped visibly, shutting his sketchbook with both hands, dropping his pencil in the process, as it rolled across the carpet. "U-UH NO OF COURSE NOT!" Kaveh scrambled to distract himself looking for his dropped pencil.
Kaveh swallowed awkwardly, sparing one final look at Alhaitham from where he was crouched on the floor.
If it had taken so long for Alhaitham to get out of the shower.. Why didn't he have the decency to get fully dressed in the bathroom?
Was he always.. that muscular? Kaveh doesn't remember his lanky book absorbed junior being even remotely athletic. Let alone muscular.
"You're terrible at lying. You know that?" Alhaitham gave him a sideways glance before rummaging through his tiny closet for a shirt.
"R-Right." Kaveh gulped as he finally retrieved his pencil. God help him, all he wants to do is hide. The embarrassment and shame were killing him.
Those were anatomy studies. Just to practice drawing people. That's why he drew Alhaitham. Not because of any other.. reason that hasn't been confronted.
Kaveh took a deep breath, in and out. Alhaitham was intelligent sure. But he was also insufferably blunt and overly honest. His monotone voice could grate on the ears after a while.
He ran through all of the traits about his mirror opposite that he hated. In some false hope that it would quell the confusing feelings deep in his chest.
Kaveh was forced to confront how loud his heart was pounding in his ears. The blood rushed to his face.
And worst of all.. his hands were trembling nonstop. He felt so shameful. Like he had been caught doing something wrong.
Kaveh couldn't shake the feeling the rest of the day up until his first sleepless night of many in this shared dorm with Alhaitham.
His eyes were WIDE open as he laid on his side, staring blankly at the wall he couldn't barely make out details of. Due to the darkness in the room from all the lights being turned off.
He sat up, resting his sore back against his bed pillow, sparing a single glance at the now sleeping Alhaitham.
Kaveh didn't know why his gaze was stuck on his sleeping dorm mate. But he couldn't shake the shameful feeling for doing so.
He felt lower than low. Why was his mind flooding him with such confusing thoughts?
He hated Alhaitham. But his sleep deprived mind had him convinced that it was more than that.
That it was much deeper than rooted hatred.
Kaveh swallowed the three stupid words that threatened to escape his mouth in a mutter. Fearing that Alhaitham would awake and hear them.
Kaveh couldn't tell whether it was a declaration of love or hate. An "I love you, I always have." Ending it with an important "Unfortunately, I do. You're insufferable." or was it more of a declaration of hatred? "I hate you, that will never change."
Kaveh barely got any sleep that night, and waking up as groggy as he did not bode well for his morning classes. Tired and about to pass out in all of his classes, failing to answer questions correctly, it was a NIGHTMARE.
And he only had one person to blame, his infuriating dormmate who seemed to follow him everywhere, was suddenly in ALL his classes overnight.
What did he get from doing this? Pleasure from ruining his day? Or was it deeper than he thought?
He could see Alhaitham's barely veiled smirk in the corner of his eye, the very same he'd sneak when he wanted to piss him off. It's almost like he revelled in sending him scrambling from anger.
Kaveh stared daggers into him as subtly as he could without redirecting attention of prying eyes to himself even as Alhaitham nonchalantly returned to jotting down notes.
As if he wasn't smirking at him like some kind of smug.. asshole mere moments ago.
This is ridiculous. What does Alhaitham get out of following him everywhere he goes on campus grounds? It was a question that plagued Kaveh the rest of the day.
Kaveh felt a sudden calling to the Akademiya's library, the House of Daena, to look for answers about his plight.
And that's exactly where he went after his classes were over for the day, but he felt the presence of a certain someone following him.
"Can you stop following me? What do you even get out of ruining my day?" Kaveh spun on his heel and dug his fingernails into his palms as he faced Alhaitham stood there with a unbothered expression as always.
"I always go to the House of Daena at the end of the day. This isn't a new routine." Alhaitham pushed right past him as Kaveh stood there agape. His brain rushed him a million overwhelming thoughts as explanation for why Alhaitham could be lying.
"And you chose this exact time frame to do so?" Kaveh entered the massive university library after Alhaitham had already disappeared into the different aisles of book genres, and great. Now he was saying this outloud to no one but the staff.
Can't keep Alhaitham from his beloved dusty tomes for long, huh? Kaveh sighed as he searched each aisle for the book focused student he was IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION WITH.
"Alhaitham! Great.. Now I've lost him to this absolute maze of a library." Kaveh angrily whispered aloud to himself, catching unwanted glances from other students that made him freeze up.
Kaveh was a social butterfly, people loved him! But being stared at while looking for Haravatat's most insufferable student wasn't what he envisioned for his schedule today.
He didn't even know that being the center of attention could be so uncomfortable! And he thought he was sweating from the library lights above him.
But his hands were noticeably clammy as he searched for Alhaitham for what felt like a eternity.
"Why am I always chasing you around, junior…?" Kaveh mumbled as he kept ducking his head into different genre aisles, getting even more strange looks than he was already getting directed his way.
"Just looking for someone." Kaveh felt the need to explain himself aloud to the ENTIRE library, he bit his tongue HARD to avoid letting the term "friend" escape him.
He and Alhaitham weren't friends. They used to be. But not anymore. Just a senior looking after his junior, that's all. That's all this was!
Kaveh caught that familiar head of messy grey hair in one of the aisles he haphazardly stepped halfway into before almost tripping over as he ducked properly into the aisle and grabbed aggressively at his junior's hood.
"Hey! You're to blame for everyone giving me strange looks." Kaveh clenched his fists as he let go of Alhaitham's hood who promptly didn't respond to the action, holding a book open in his hands. "Are you ignoring me?!"
Doing that damn page licking thing that every bookworm always did.. Yet when Alhaitham did it.. It was different.
Kaveh's face was burning from what he believed was embarrassment and shame from being stared at by the House of Daena's ENTIRE crowd of frequent visitors.
It was really hot in this aisle of the library all of a sudden, Kaveh blamed it on the LED lights above them, he blamed it on the weather. Even though it was FREEZING in the airconditioned House of Daena library.
Yet another excuse. Blamed it on everything but the cold harsh truth.
This is getting ridiculous. Why is he always chasing Alhaitham around? Kaveh's his senior not some junior who's head over heels in pursuit of his encouragement.
Kaveh could barely recognise Alhaitham, it hasn't been long since they were sharing thoughts on their own definitions of wisdom and knowledge, chatting along like they were friends.. Like they were happy.
So what happened? Was it his fault for befriending such a unemotional, logical and rationality driven student with no care for others?
The question to why one failed group project ruined their once unbreakable bond plagued Kaveh every waking moment.
"Earth to Kaveh. The House of Daena is closing soon. If you have any books to rent, you better do it now." Alhaitham casually flicked his index finger right on Kaveh's forehead.
Causing the older student to stumble backwards and knock into a shelf filled with books. Knocking a few books off the shelves in his surprise.
Kaveh promptly scrambled to drop to his feet and collected all the fallen literature and began profusely apologising to the staff. "I am so sorry! Please, it's my mess, I'll clean it up."
All the while staring daggers into Alhaitham as he stood there still reading his book as if it was a normal situation with nothing exciting happening and like Kaveh didn't just embarrass himself.
In his embarrassment, Kaveh almost forgot why he was here in the first place before the memory hit him like a ton of thrown bricks.
Right! He was here in search of information about his recent plight. He wasn't coming down with a traditional fever, he knew that much. It was more than a killer headache and sweating.
Kaveh scrambled to place all the fallen books back onto the shelf, praying to whatever God existed that the order wasn't atrocious, he can't recall how it appeared before he stumbled into it and made a mess of the perfect arrangement of literature and himself, for that matter.
He just needs to sneak away. He's already wasted so much of the library's open times being a bumbling newborn deer who was learning how to walk.
"You could help me you know.. We'd get this done faster if you helped." Kaveh was carrying several heavy books cradled in his arms, shifting weight from one hip to the other as he tried to place each book carefully without dropping any.
"You said it yourself. It's your mess, not mine." Alhaitham gave him that signature smart-assed answer as usual, equipped with the very same blank expression as always too.
"Would it kill you to be a helpful, decent human being?" Kaveh didn't hide the bitterness in his tone, he bit his tongue to prevent any more jabs directed towards Haravatat's most unhelpful scholar from escaping him in a hurry.
"Library's gonna close in a hour." Alhaitham reminded him as he walked straight past Kaveh who only just began placing the last few books he knocked off the shelf back where they belong.
Kaveh assumed the shoulder-check was intentional, it made him drop one of the heaviest books on the wood floors with a harsh thump, narrowly missing his foot.
"Thanks for the repeated reminders. I heard you the first time." Kaveh forced a fake polite smile to stop himself from shouting at Alhaitham in a PUBLIC LIBRARY FULL OF UNAWARE BYSTANDERS.
"You're welcome, senior." Alhaitham gave him a knowing glance over his shoulder, equipped with that very same annoying… horrifyingly handsome smile.
"I am never thanking you again." Kaveh mumbled under his breath as he finished placing all books back on the shelf and turned to face Alhaitham, expecting another witty comment but what he heard in response was.. odd for the situation at hand.
"Don't forget that we have classes in a hour, if you wish to grab lunch afterwards from Lambad's, let me know." Alhaitham seemed so friendly all of a sudden, like a switch changed in his brain and he remembered how to come across as polite and kind.
"Yeah.. I'll let you know. Thanks." Kaveh stammered over his words in such a embarrassing manner, he was entirely unprepared for this sudden act of casual kindness from Haravatat's most infamous loner.
What was he doing? He just said he'd never thank him ever again! And of course the first thing he does is exactly what he said he wasn't ever going to do again. UGH!
Kaveh's stomach grumbled, food from Lambad's sounded fantastic right about now, it was a relatively new food place not far from the Akademiya.
"I'll catch up with you on the way to class then. Do you know what classes you have?" Kaveh asked as Alhaitham followed him through the House of Daena like a lost puppy.
"Coincidentally, the same ones as yours." Alhaitham spoke with a knowing smile, that smug bastard switched ALL of his classes to the same ones Kaveh took for his education and he was acting like it was a coincidence? Absurd.
"You did that on purpose you infuriating—" Kaveh didn't have the chance to finish his sentence before he attempted to school his anger. Okay Kaveh, not worth getting angry over.
It's not like he was going to follow you to the ends of the earth and that handsome.. AHEM! irritating face wasn't going to follow you everywhere.
Who he is kidding? THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WAS GOING TO BECOME OF HIS REMAINING SEMESTERS BEFORE GRADUATION!
"I said I'll catch up with you after I'm done renting books for my… exams. School tests, you know?" Kaveh gulped as he came up with a lie so blatant, it was PAINFULLY obvious that it was a lie.
"School tests. You have exams about the human body's reactions to adrenaline and stimulation?" Alhaitham CLEARLY wasn't buying it and Kaveh was getting more humiliated by the minute.
"F-For biology class, yes.." Kaveh scrambled for a explanation for WHY he needed resources for that specific topic, knowing FULL WELL he didn't have a single biology class in his schedule that day.
"You don't have biology in your schedule." Alhaitham read him like a BOOK and Kaveh was at the end of his rope.
"And how do you know that?" Kaveh tried to deflect, but it was SO obvious he was defensive, and all of this was happening in a public library with what felt like hundreds of eyes on them.
"Simple. Your schedule is the same as mine. We have the same classes, senior." Alhaitham tucked his cold hands into his hoodie pocket and leaned his weight against the closest book shelf.
"This doesn't involve you.. I'll see you later, okay?" Kaveh's not so subtle attempt of trying to shoo Alhaitham away like he was a bothersome bird wasn't working, clearly.
"I don't want to walk to class alone, be quick." Alhaitham spun on his heel and retreated out the House of Daena doors in a heartbeat.
Speaking of heartbeats… Kaveh's was in his EARS and it was loud, his heart pounding against his ribcage so fast, it physically hurt. He was so sweaty.
And why was he suddenly tearing up? Kaveh wiped away the stray tears and tightened his hold on one of the books he picked up in what he could only hope was the right aisle.
Titled "Why Hate can be as Passionate as Love"
Kaveh skimmed the book pages really quickly, the internal clock of how much time he had left to read this book was quickly winding down, so he just panic grabbed a bunch of books in the very same aisle and ran for the counter to rent them for the week.
"Just these will do.. Thanks." Kaveh avoided the employee's raised eyebrow as she checked out the individual books and told him when to return them and what genre they belong to.
Kaveh DARTED out of the House of Daena, now really considering walking to his remaining classes for the day entirely alone. He could REALLY use Tighnari's wisdom right now.
All the while Alhaitham wormed his way into Kaveh's every thought, and to say it wasn't helping his case, would be a understatement.
This is ridiculous, it's absurd! Alhaitham wasn't a special someone, he was his polar opposite in every single way, and not to mention he was entirely unemotional. Even despite their mutual respect for their intellectual accomplishments.
Did he even experience Love like Kaveh did? or was he entirely indifferent to the concept?
In his opinion, Alhaitham only loved knowledge, wisdom and dusty old tomes found at the back of packed bookshelves. He was never a people person.
Kaveh's mind was a jumbled mess of overthinking and what if scenarios.
What if Alhaitham knew Kaveh didn't truly hate him deep down? What if he knew there was more to Kaveh's instinctual approach to hate and arguments?
What if Alhaitham knew Kaveh had always had… feelings for him?
Kaveh's heart was in his throat the entire time he sat impatiently in class, unable to focus on the lecture ahead of him, Alhaitham sat at the very back of the room, a few seats behind him.. Yet it felt like Kaveh could feel his breath on the back of his neck and his hairs stood on end.
He avoided Alhaitham like the PLAGUE after the bell rang, avoiding the offer for getting lunch, walking back to their dorm room together.
All of it was too much, too much proximity, too much stimulation.
Kaveh SPRINTED FULL SPEED out of the classroom, almost tripping over his somehow untied shoelaces as he sought advice from his best friend, Tighnari, who was in the middle of a TCG card match with his fast friend and dorm mate, Cyno.
"Tighnari!" Kaveh stood in the doorway, his hair an absolute mess as he meekly greeted Cyno and wound up laying horizontal on their couch with a pillow held tightly against his chest.
"Kaveh? What's the matter?" Tighnari rose to his feet, one deck of cards in his hand as he sat on the edge of the coffee table to comfort his clearly distressed friend.
"It's…" Kaveh didn't have to stumble over his words to explain why he looked like a utter disaster before Tighnari interrupted him with a tired sigh, not that unlike a exhausted mother.
"Alhaitham. That's why you're this worked up, right?" Tighnari blinked with the world's most blank expression Kaveh has ever seen and his embarrassment got a thousand time's worse for a moment.
"YES! God.. Am I really that predictable…?" Kaveh felt too ashamed to continue, he's always bothering Tighnari with his extremely strained bond with Alhaitham.
"Tell me what's wrong. And don't mind Cyno." Tighnari prepared himself for another one of Kaveh's in depth emotional rants.
As Kaveh set off on his long seemingly breathless rant about Alhaitham, it revealed one true fact about their rocky relationship that Tighnari called out immediately.
"You claim to hate him, but you talk about him like you're in love." Tighnari raised both eyebrows with Cyno suddenly tuned into the conversation with a face expressing a interest in "friend gossip"
"WHAT? No I don't!" Kaveh fiercely denied the accusation, sitting up right so quick, he let go of the pillow he was hugging tightly to his chest, letting it fall to the dorm floor.
"Sounds to me like you do." Cyno chimed in as he sorted through his TCG deck of cards with a eyebrow raised.
"Not you too! Come on…" Kaveh whined as he flipped over and buried his face in the dorm sofa's material all the while groaning.
"Have you ever thought of maybe.. confessing to Alhaitham how you feel? Clear up any misunderstandings?" Tighnari placed his hand underneath his chin, standing up from his place sat on the edge of the coffee table.
"You're kidding right, Nari? He'd laugh me out the room! Alhaitham probably doesn't even experience joy let alone love!" Kaveh jumped RIGHT off the couch and back onto his feet in a instant.
"It's worth a try." Tighnari sighed, offering further comfort to Kaveh as he walked defeatedly out of their dorm room and down the hallway of the Akademiya.
"Alhaitham is blowing up my phone.. I can't believe he didn't delete my number in his phone.. Sorry Nari, I gotta go." Kaveh held his unlocked phone, scanning the many texts Alhaitham had sent him in the last 30 minutes or so, his other hand on the door handle.
"See you tomorrow then, Kaveh. I can tell it's eating you on the inside, but being honest about your feelings will take a weight off your shoulders. Trust me." Tighnari walked him out the door with Kaveh sighing deeply and tucking his hair behind his ear.
"How did I let this happen?" Kaveh mumbled meekly under his breath as he took long strides down the hallway, on his way back to his dorm.
Kaveh forgot just how hungry he really was, having forgotten to grab lunch with Alhaitham, or eat anything even without his roommate there to keep him "company" even despite how stale company from Alhaitham truly was.
Kaveh lamented his luck, out of ALL people to fall in love with, have the most devastating crush on.. Did it have to be Alhaitham?
He must have been in his head too much because he didn't even hear footsteps creeping up behind him, until a hand tapped him on the shoulder and he JUMPED like a cat in a bathtub.
"Care to explain why you've been avoiding me?" Alhaitham moved in front of him to block him from walking away from this conversation.
"I'm not avoiding you!" Kaveh lied through his teeth, why was Alhaitham all of a sudden so interested in being by his side 24'7? Alhaitham HATED him! Why would he want to hang around someone he hates?
Or was Kaveh reading too deep into their relationship again? Truthfully, it was an assumption he made that Alhaitham hated him as much as Kaveh hated him back.
"Don't lie to me, you are avoiding me. All I want to know is why." Alhaitham buried his surprisingly cold hands into his hoodie pocket, shifting weight from one leg to the next.
"Isn't it obvious why?" Kaveh groaned aloud as he tried to side-step the Haravatat student blocking his way further down the hallway leading to their shared dorm.
"No it's not. Now stop being vague and give me an answer." Alhaitham didn't know what he was doing until it was too late, caging in Kaveh against the wall without really thinking.
"Are you serious? Get out of my way, Alhaitham." Kaveh dug his fingernails into his bag strap, clenching his free hand tightly, ignoring the pain the moment, he was too angry to care.
"Do you listen to a word I say? I want an answer for why you've been avoiding me like I'm infected with the plague." Alhaitham refused to budge, standing his ground and stubbornly continuing to block Kaveh from walking away from this needed conversation.
"You want the real answer then?! The truth is that I hate you, I DESPISE you with every atom of my being." Kaveh tightened his hold on his backpack strap, letting years of bottled up hatred escape him.
Alhaitham stopped dead still, like a mannequin in a clothes store, frozen still as his expression shifted from his once calm facade to one of.. grief, that quickly morphed into anger.
His former friend's words felt like poison being injected directly into his very veins. It fucking hurt.
"You might as well ask the facility to get you a new dorm then." Alhaitham bit his tongue to prevent a further argument from breaking out in the middle of the hallways.
"Maybe I will!" Kaveh stormed off down the hall. Sparing a glance over his shoulder back at Alhaitham, noticing a immediate expression shift from anger to what could only be described as: sadness.
He almost tripped over his own feet at the sight of Alhaitham being vulnerable. It made his chest ache painfully, like his heart had just been ripped out.
This isn't how he should be treating his juniors, even as insufferable as Alhaitham was. A senior's job was to provide a safe space for those younger and less experienced.
And Kaveh failed that miserably.
"Hey are you okay—?" Kaveh properly turned to face Alhaitham but as soon as he turned around, the Haravatat student disappeared into thin air, like he was a ghost.
Kaveh had an apology on his tongue, which he begrudgingly swallowed. "Where'd he go?" Kaveh pondered with a spiraling worry filling his very bones. Before reaching for his cellphone and blowing up Alhaitham's phone with concerned text messages.
"Hey where are you? Text me back, please. I'm worried."
Alhaitham didn't respond, in fact it had been several hours after the fact that Kaveh's worry escalated to texting Tighnari and asking, since Alhaitham wasn't in their shared dorm, nowhere to be found in the library either.
"Hey, Nari? Have you seen Alhaitham anywhere?"
"No. Why? Can you not find him?"
"We got into an argument, things got heated. I-It looked like I really upset him, but he was gone before I could even apologise."
Their text conversation was interrupted by a message sent to every student enrolled in the Akademiya with a polite warning. "Dear students, if you see anyone hanging out on the rooftops after 5pm, let us know! The rooftops are off limits after the fact."
Kaveh felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, launching himself out of his dorm bed, fumbling a text response to Tighnari in the process. "Talk to you later. I've got to go."
Kaveh rushed up the Akademiya's flights of stairs, shoving the rooftops doors open and hoping to not find a horrific sight… But what he saw instead was.. hard to describe.
Alhaitham face down on the rooftop concrete, spread out like a starfish.
He approached slowly and lowered himself to his feet, nudging Alhaitham with his shoe.
"Are you… alive?" Kaveh blinked repeatedly, still clearly worried. And even a bit livid that Alhaitham disappeared without explaining how the truth seemed to upset him.
"Kaveh." Alhaitham sat up so fast that the back of his head collided with Kaveh's who immediately winced and rubbed his head.
"Careful! You'll take my eye out if you do that again." Kaveh sighed as he adjusted his sitting to be more comfortable for his sore legs, stretching his limbs out.
Avoiding a full-on FREAK OUT when Alhaitham laid his head back down, but not on the concrete, on Kaveh's legs.
"How'd you know I was here?" Was Alhaitham's surprisingly straightforward question, the first in a long time.
"Lucky guess?" Kaveh admittedly, didn't pay attention to the question, he was mesmerised by Alhaitham looking up at him like he was his entire world.
"Hey… So about earlier, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that—" Kaveh scrambled to apologise, the guilt was beginning to swallow him whole and he couldn't take the awkward tension any longer.
"It's fine." Alhaitham said unnaturally nonchalant, especially for how the closest person in his life BLEW UP at him and confessed how much he despised him, even if it was in the heat of the moment.
Kaveh knew that didn't make it suddenly okay, it was way too harsh. He hurt someone else's feelings, if Alhaitham even had any to begin with.
"Don't look at me like that." Kaveh averted his gaze, his hands trembling to stop himself from cradling Alhaitham's face in his palms. God, he was DEFINITELY coming down with some sort of sickness.
"Like what?" Alhaitham smiled up at him, sparing the most.. annoyingly beautiful laugh Kaveh's ever heard with his own two ears, and Alhaitham wasn't much of a laugher.
"Like that. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about." Kaveh fought the battle in his head to no avail, resigning to brush Alhaitham's hair out of his eyes, a habit he hasn't done in who knows how many years.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, senior." Alhaitham finally sat up properly, albeit facing him and WAY too close for comfort, Kaveh almost fell backwards with only his elbows to support him.
Saved by the Akademiya's facility announcing the rooftops are closing for the evening, being past the open hours of 8am to 5pm.
Kaveh scrambled to his feet in a panic, unable to get Alhaitham's face mere inches away from his out of his mind as they headed back to their shared dorm.
"God, I haven't eaten for hours..." Kaveh's stomach rumbled painfully, reminding him just how he hasn't eaten for ages. just how long has it been since he's eaten anything?
"I have some leftovers from Lambad's, the lunch we were supposed to have together." Alhaitham unlocked their shared dorm with his keys and pushed the door wide open, letting Kaveh in and kicking his shoes off haphazardly in the doorway.
"You still bought food for me?" Kaveh raised both eyebrows in surprise, Alhaitham's sudden kindness SHOCKED him, maybe he wasn't so bad after all?
"Just eat something. I don't want to nurse you throwing up over the toliet for a hour." Alhaitham's tone and expression returned to his default neutrality, right as Kaveh expected it to.
"Why did I believe you were being genuinely kind for once?" Kaveh rubbed his suddenly sore temples and unceremoniously dropped onto his mattress, the bed springs squeaking loudly.
"A thank you would be polite, would it not?" Alhaitham opened their tiny dorm room fridge and handed him the cold takeaway box, urging him towards the cafeteria to request if he could reheat it.
"…Thank you." Kaveh bit his tongue HARD to prevent any form of sass from escaping him, he begrudgingly thanked his roommate, not without a fake smile, however.
"See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" Alhaitham shot him a glance over his shoulder before he cuddled up underneath his own bedsheets, book in hand to read while dozing off.
"And you know, they say that earnest thanks should be given thrice, so one more time please?" Alhaitham rolled over on his side, propping himself up on his elbow, smug smile and all at the art student.
Kaveh let out the most frustrated groan ever heard by either party. "I am not thanking you more than I have to."
This is going to be a PAINFULLY long semester. Kaveh thought, as he made his way to the cafeteria with the takeaway box in his hands, he really was ravenous.
Just a few more semesters until graduation, then he'd never have to see or talk to Alhaitham ever again.
Deleting Alhaitham's phone number from his phone had never crossed his mind after their falling out, Kaveh didn't entirely understand why he never removed or blocked his number.
He just never did. Surely, this means nothing. It just never crossed his mind is all!
Nothing more, nothing less.