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"You guys made your decision. Now I'm making mine. If Alvar is moving back to Everglen, I'm moving out."
That was all. That was all it took for Biana to look at me with tear filled eyes that made my stomach turn. For my parents to start their pleading.
"Stay, please, at least until Alvar moves in."
For Sophie to look at me like she wanted to say something, to argue, but bit her tongue. For Keefe to let his arms drop from my shoulders, as if my decision was as worse as his mistake.
But I had already decided the second his verdict was read, and no tears or pleading would stop me. So, before Biana, or Sophie, or Keefe, or my parents could stop me, I left.
I stomped out of Tribunal Hall where too many bad choices were finalized, and out of the massive intricate doors and down to the Pures, where I sat on a bench, breathing in the crisp air until my head felt a little less heavy, and I felt a little less like punching somebody.
Grizel stood by the bench, eyes grazing over the castles of the beloved Councillors, who, for some reason, thought that bringing a murderer back to his house instead of actually convicting him, was a good idea.
Of course when I made the decision I wouldn't live at Everglen, one thing I forgot to consider, of course, was where I would live.
Havenfield was off-limits, it got way too crowded, and it was way too obvious. Besides, Biana would probably be staying with Sophie during the day once Alvar moves into the apartment.
Shores of Solace was obviously off the table- if Keefe couldn't deal with Lord Cassius, I highly doubt I could- and I don't think I could handle being with Keefe all day either.
Candleshade though-... It was an option. It had hundreds of floors and rooms I could easily hide in, and nobody has stayed there since Lady Gisela was revealed to be a part of the Neverseen. Apparently, Lord Cassius didn't want to stay in the same house he was lied to in for all of his marriage.
Candleshade actually wasn't a bad idea. They probably had some non-perishables left there as well. But, my plan was thwarted as I heard the loud creaking of the large doors of the Tribunal Hall, opening on its old hinges.
As soon as I spotted the red curly hair of the boy exiting, and the gray muscle following him, I knew a conversation was needed to ensure we don't regress back to the point in time where a Dizznee and a Vacker weren't friends, and could never be friends.
Especially because even if I did ignore him, as much as I wanted to, what I couldn't ignore– no matter how many times I've tried –are the butterflies which flutter in my stomach and up my throat until all I can speak are stuttered, meaningless sentences whenever I see him.
I was frozen, watching him as I struggled to collect myself and my practically tachycardic heart, before he pulled out a small clear crystal from under his tunic, tied to a black cord strung around his neck. He raised it up, casting a small beam of light onto the ground, and before he could step into it,
"Dex!" I called, stepping to my feet all too fast for my current heart rate.
He turned as he lowered the crystal, facing me as I caught up to him. And stars, the way his periwinkle eyes lit up as they locked with mine, sent sparks shooting into my rapid heart.
"We- can we- uhm…" crud, really not the time to space out, Vacker. "Can we talk?"
Dex studied my face enough to make me squirm under the concept of being so thoroughly perceived.
"Yeah, of course." phew. "Want to.. Come to Rimeshire?"
"Yeah- that, um, yeah." stars, could I sound less cool?
He took my hand, and either my heart was beating too fast for me to feel, or I've flatlined entirely. Although, flatlining would mean I'm dead, and dead people are pale, and I'm certain my face is way too red for me to be dead. But maybe I am dead, because with how tense I am, It could probably be classified as Rigor Mortis. He led me into the light, and we let it carry us away.
༄༄༄
Dodging the triplets should be considered a competitive sport. By the time Dex and I got to his room, my tunic had come untucked, and my previously combed-back hair was sticking in all sorts of directions. Of course, Dex looked flawless, as if this is normal for him, which it probably is. He motioned for me to sit on the bed, but I didn't. Instead, I started pacing as I mumbled, and he took his own advice and sat on his bed.
"I don't get why you didn't tell me! Stars, Dex, you had a week! I honestly don't get how it didn't cross your mind even once to think about the people this would impact, didn't think about me, consider my feelings, consider the fact that you knew a murderer would be brought to his house and think 'Oh yeah, I just won't tell the people who live there. Won't tell the people who are supposed to be my friends!' You don't get to decide what we know, or how you think we would handle any of this! It's so selfish- in fact, you said after you made the ability restrictor, that you were done helping the Council. And of course, here you go, not only helping the Council, but doing it behind our backs! How are we supposed to trust you, when you hide these things that impact me and Biana's lives! You didn't stop, for a single second you spent making that gadget, to even consider telling us anything!"
My voice gradually became louder as I spoke; my eyes were on my feet, which were walking in circles around Dex's room. My nose burned, my eyes burned, and it felt like my heart was set ablaze.
"The Council said I couldn't tell anyone, they barely told me anything about his sentence at all, only that the Warden was a precaution if they went through with one of the possibilities!" Dex said, his voice almost defensive.
"Listen, I get why you didn't tell us- me and Biana. It was classified, and you didn't know for certain, and maybe you assumed our parents already told us.. But.. Imagine one of the triplets ran off to join the enemy group, and then once they were captured, they were sent to live back at Rimeshire, and I knew, because I was made to do a probe on them, and didn't tell you."
Silence followed, and I couldn't help myself from continuing my ranting.
"Okay, I get how insane that sounds- but it did happen. And it is insane. And-.. You probably get the point. Can you just understand why I'm upset? I get that we've had our differences, and sometimes it might be hard to talk to me, and maybe you don't even consider me a friend- and that's fine, but please just talk to me. I-
My mumbling and ranting was cut off by a thumb on my cheek wiping away a tear I didn't even realize had spilled, and when I looked up, standing way too close for my dead-not-dead heart, was the boy I was supposed to be mad at. But when I met his eyes, almost all of that anger dissipated.
"I do consider you a friend, Fitz. And I mean it. I get that I should have talked to you and Biana or fully denied the Council's request. But I didn't think of it, and that isn't an excuse, and that was a mistake on my part. But you don't need to blow up at me because of that- I know it was a bad decision now, and if I could go back in time, I would have told the Council anything other than yes. And I know I apologized back in Alluveterre, but I'll never stop feeling bad for everything I did before Sophie."
The term 'Before Sophie' or 'After Sophie' was used so much that they should make it into an actual time indicator, especially with how much the world has changed because of her, and how much it will continue to change. On second thought, though, if they taught those terms in school, the entire class would be spent with kids cracking jokes at the acronyms 'AS' and 'BS.'
Dex's hand lingered in the air after he swiped away my tear, as if he didn't know where to put it, and against my better judgment, I took his hand in mine and ignored the way it made my face heat up. Friends held hands all the time. It was normal. Dex's hand was soft in some ways and rough in others. His palm was soft, but his fingertips were calloused, and he had some smudged graphite on the back of his hand. His grip was steady, as if he could sense I was unravelling internally, and he was determined to keep me together. Little did Dizznee know, it was his hand that was making me unravel in the first place. Well, and the proximity. And just him in general. Ugh. I hate gingers.
"It's fine, Dex. I wasn't that mad at you in the first place. I don't think I have it in me to really be mad at you. It's just.. I'm tired. And frustrated. And it's so much easier to focus on everyone else's mistakes instead of my own, or Alvar's. And I get why you didn't like me before. I'm just.. Glad you do now."
I gave his hand a small squeeze, it was so I could reassure him on what I said, and not for any other reason.
"Thank you." Dex said, eyes trained downwards.
"For what?"
"..Forgiving me. After.. Everything. And I don't just mean for today, I mean forgiving me for how I used to treat you. Forgiving me for getting you stabbed-" I tried cutting in, but he kept talking. "-And I know that you're gonna say it wasn't my fault-"
"It wasn't."
"-But I still can't help feeling guilty because of it, and thank you for giving me so many chances. I do like you, I'm sorry for not making that clear sooner."
I felt my hands begin to sweat, and as much as I didn't want to, I gave Dex's hand one more squeeze before pulling mine away. It was so easy to get flustered around Dex, and even easier, when we are standing alone in his room, with our hands together, faces too close for comfort, discussing our feelings for each other, even if all I'm mentioning are the platonic ones.
"It's okay. I get it. You're seriously amazing. Even if you do get on my nerves." I added the last bit, mostly to make sure we were still on teasing terms, but based on his reply, it was obvious we were always on teasing terms.
"Speak for yourself, Wonderboy."
I smiled at the outdated nickname. I fished in my pockets to make sure I had everything before turning towards the door.
"Thanks, for.. Talking with me. Also, by any chance, uh, does your Leapmaster have Candleshade?"
Dex looked at me quizzically, so I figured I should probably elaborate.
"That's where I'm planning on staying. Y'know, until Alvar breaks character and is sentenced to Exile for the rest of eternity." I smirked as I said the last part, even though I was mostly serious about that sentiment. Because Alvar would break character, and I will make sure that the least he gets is rotting in that underground prison, until his ears are pointy enough to cut glass.
"You- uhm.. You could stay here, like I mean, at Rimeshire. If, like, if you want to.." Dex said, face growing redder by the second. His freckles spotted his cheeks like stars, and his curly, strawberry blonde hair was messier than usual. His periwinkle eyes were looking anywhere but at me, and I'll I wanted to do was kiss the blush off of his cheeks.
"..Yeah, okay. I need to, um, go by Everglen to get my stuff, but I'll… I'll be back." I spoke, face probably warmer than Dex's. I hesitated for a second before backing away as I shot finger guns at him, promptly turning on my heel and speed walking away, after realizing how much of a loser I probably looked like. Messy hair. Red face. Finger guns. Dex was rubbing off on me.
I stepped out into the hallway, following a curved staircase to the third floor, where I stood in front of an ice sculpture of a large, intricate tree, with hundreds of colored crystals hanging from each of the branches. I took a deep breath. Then another. I was going to Everglen to get my stuff. Not to argue, not to stay. That was it.
I called the name, and a teal crystal lowered from a branch. Teal. How fitting. The crystal hit the light reflected in one of the glass paneled walls, creating a path to the one and only Vacker Estate. I took an extra deep breath, before stepping into the light.
༄༄༄
I reformed outside of the blinding gates, and instantly, a loud pounding going on a few hundred feet on either side of me filled my head. Glancing towards the sound, it seemed as if a few Gnomes were reinforcing the barrier, which must mean that they're planning on moving Alvar here soon. I licked a DNA panel sitting on top of one of the gleaming bars, and entered. As soon as I got a look around the sprawling fields that led up to the building, it was obvious just how soon they were moving Alvar, based on all of the materials being transported by Gnomes running around the property.
I approached one of the back entrances, attempting to slip through all of the most unused pathways to my room. It was a long spiral staircase that wound up to the sixth floor, and exited through a door that I had never seen open before. It took a while, and my legs were aching by the time I got to my floor, but it was worth it when I opened the door to the pristine hallway- and it was silently empty. I slipped into my room quietly, and quickly began packing a bag. Tunics, cloaks, books, uniforms, Mr. Snuggles, pretty much whatever I could cram into the tote.
Soon, it was packed as much as it could be and as much as I would need. I exited my room, exhaling in relief. I turned to close my door, and when I turned back, Biana stood in front of me.
"What are you doing?" She asked, her voice strained, and clearly with no regard for being quiet.
"Shh! I'm getting my stuff. I already told you- I'm not staying here, Biana."
"You're serious? I understand, Fitz, but I have to stay, and you are leaving me here all alone! Why can't you just deal with it? Why can't you just stay here for me?"
"Biana- I-.." I sighed, pinching my nose bridge. "You don't have to stay, Biana. You don't- you shouldn't have to deal with this, accept this stupid decision! And just because you can, doesn't mean I can too."
Biana groaned into her hands. "You don't get it! I have to stay, for Mom, for Dad- do you know how stressed out of their minds they've been, out of fear that they've lost both of their sons!"
"That's their fault! And I'm not lost! I just need time, Biana. You know how hard this will be on both of us!"
Steps sounded behind me, and I felt my jaw clench. Great job at 'not arguing', Fitz.
"Biana, what-.. Fitz?" My mother started.
I turned around to face her blinking in and out of sight, next to my father.
"Fitz, what are you doing?" My dad said, eyeing the bad slung around my shoulder.
"Leaving." I spoke, walking forward towards the leapmaster. I was stopped by a hand on my shoulder.
"Fitz, can we please talk?" My mom suggested. I shook my head.
"I'm not talking right now- to anyone- please just let me leave."
My mother glanced at my father. "Where are you staying? We won't go there, I just want to make sure that you're somewhere safe."
Her somber tone made my heart burn and guilt trip up, but I stomped it back down. She's letting Alvar live here. This is her and my dad's fault.
"Rimeshire." I spat, finally pushing past them and towards the leapmaster, speed walking so they wouldn't go after me.
As soon as I approached it, I shouted the name again, and let the light drag me out of this hellhole.
༄༄༄
I opened the door, exhaling in relief when I saw Dex looking up from a gadget at me. I didn't say anything, just dropped my bag and flopped on his bed, shuffling my head on his lap. As soon as the realization of what I had just done hit me, the feeling of his fingers in my hair stopped me from bolting upright, and I felt my cheeks become very, very warm.
"How- uhm.. did it go?" Dex asked gently, and from the sound of his voice, I could tell he was just as flustered and surprised.
I just groaned, sitting up once I felt like my face was clear enough. I felt better about my pink face when I looked up at his nuclear one, shrouded by his orange curls I resisted the urge to swipe away.
"They tried to convince me to stay and talk. Of course. I don't know why I'm surprised." I said, pressing my hands to my face as if I was hiding. I've gotten really good at hiding from Dex. I fell backwards on his bed, letting my dark brown hair spread against the soft sheets. He flopped down next to me.
"..You can stay here as long as you need." Dex said. My heart fluttered. Not just because it was Dex speaking to me, but because he said it with such care and hope, that it made my heart beat faster.
I pulled my hands free from my face, glancing over to gaze at the stupid ginger that had me convinced life was a fever dream.
He was looking at me, and the moment our eyes locked, we silently and simultaneously agreed to glance away with pink cheeks.
I sat up somewhat quickly, needing to focus on something entirely different before I, A. had a heart attack, or B, kissed the oldest Dizznee boy senseless.
"I need a distraction. We should bake." I spoke, already mentally thinking of all the desserts that the triplets would like most. The conclusion was all of them.
"I like how you immediately jump to baking." Dex snickered.
"Leave me alone, you have like, twelve unfinished gadgets sitting on your desk alone. At least I actually finish my projects!"
"Shut up!" Dex shoved me, playfully ruffling my hair. Which, by the way, is illegal. So I shoved him back, and then he stuck his tongue out at me- and basically, he declared war.
We tussled for a bit, until I was able to push down on both his shoulders, and trap him against the bed. We both then, also simultaneously and silently, recognized our compromising position, and shuffled away from each other.
"Yeah, let's go bake something." Dex said, fixing his hair.
"yup." I squeaked out. Maybe deciding to stay at Rimeshire was a bad decision, because this loser is driving me insane.
༄༄༄
"WHY IS IT EXPLODING?"
"I DON'T KNOW! WE'RE IN YOUR HOUSE, EVERYTHING IS DESTINED TO EXPLODE!"
"NOT CAKE!"
The kitchen was surprisingly clean despite our dialogue- it was just the oven that was splattered with enough batter to look like a crime scene.
Once the amalgamation, which was supposed to be cake, stopped bubbling, we cleaned out the oven, and quickly gave up on baking. Throughout the process, Dex kept looking at me in this specific way- like I was a rare faraway star, and this was the only day he had to gaze at me. Like I was something worth looking at. It made my heart beat quicker in my chest, and hang low to my stomach, which was full of angry tomples stampeding through my gut.
We eventually made our way back upstairs and tried (and failed) to do our own individual thing. I had an exam in The Universe coming up, so while I studied, Dex tinkered with the gadget he was working on before I returned from Everglen. It had a small green bulb, connected to intertwined copper wires. I wasn't fully sure what it was, despite the fact I spent the majority of the time watching Dex's fiddling fingers instead of actually studying.
I finally gave up, and slid the textbook off my lap, standing to peer over Dex's shoulder.
"What're you workin' on?" I asked, gazing down at the gadget.
Dex looked up at me, turning a little pink before refocusing on the device in his hands. "It's a translator.. kind of." He said, turning it over to show a pretty wired design on the back of the bulb. "It's disguised as a ring, but the light flashes the spoken words as morse code. For, y'know.. interspecial meetings. So you can be certain that the polyglots aren't misinterpreting or lying."
"That's smart." I spoke, reaching out to hold it, my fingers brushing against Dex's in the process. I pretended not to notice, but in reality, my heart was doing jumping-jacks in my chest.
I turned it over in my hand, inspecting the little intricacies and details in the wire. "It's so cool how you can just.. do things like this."
Dex took it back, setting it down on his messy desk. "Thanks. It's not finished just yet, but hopefully it'll be useful." Dex said, still quite pink.
"Not just useful- it'll be amazing. You're amazing."
Dex stood and turned towards me, his dimpled grin and red face made my head spin. "Thanks, Wonderboy." I'm fainting. Dead.
He flopped backwards on his bed next to my still open textbook. I flopped next to him.
"Gave up on studying?" He asked, flicking through the pages with his thumb.
"You were too distracting." I said, before realizing my words and becoming almost the same shade as the stupid red-head that made me that way in the first place.
I felt his head turn towards me, but I kept my eyes upward, as if I didn't look at him, he wouldn't see me.
"You're red." He said, poking my cheek. That caught me off guard, so I finally glanced over at him, my mind faltering at the sight of his curls spread against the sheets, his hand propping his cheek up.
"You are too." I said, admiring the way his blush highlighted his freckles.
Dex flustered more at that, burying his face in my side. In a moment of courage, I slid my fingers between his ringlets, playing with a few strands of his hair.
"You're a dork." I spoke, the tease naturally falling off my lips, as if I wasn't currently playing with Dex's hair and my heart wasn't going a million miles a minute, and my head wasn't short-circuiting.
At his lack of a retort, my heart warmed slightly, pulling him closer so his head was resting on my chest. I could feel his soft breathing, and once it slowed down, I closed the blinds with a few snaps.
The thought felt loud- charged even. I didn't even realize I had transmitted it at first.
'I love you.'
Dex just softly smiled, enough for his dimples to shine across his face.