Chapter Text
Dennis wasn’t a well loved child. He had grown up with four older brothers who were always better than him at something. Something they had to draw their parents attention towards them and away from Dennis.
Isaac was the strongest. Anything that needed to be lifted or pulled was assigned to him. He was good in sports and good enough in school to not draw attention to himself. If it weren’t for envy being a sin, Dennis would’ve had jealousy seeping through his skin. Issac wasn’t perfect,-God he was far from it,- but he was in everybody's eyes. Every lecture of his ended with something along the lines of how Dennis should take after his oldest brother. He was the first of his siblings who cut off any contact with Dennis.
Noah was the hardest worker. Day and night you would find Noah in a barn or driving a tractor. He was a high school drop out, in any other scenario his parents would have been furious that they had ever wasted tuition on a kid who absorbed nothing educational. But Noah had blamed it on wanting to ‘put all his time and effort onto the farm.’ Which was such bullshit, Dennis knew the real reason was that Noah had been failing classes for years, it was a win if he could pull through a class with a D. But his parents ate up the lie and praised him for his dedication to his family and work.
Jacob was everyone's favorite. He was friendly and kind and had a cheerful spirit. He was probably the most normal out of the Whitaker’s. He fell in love at 17 with a girl named Clarisse who went to their school. She had brown curly hair and big honest eyes. Dennis always loved her, sometimes on days where he’d been bad and wasn’t allowed dinner, she would sneak up to his room and slip him some bread like he was an attic mouse. When Jacob was about 19, he married Clarisse in their front yard, coincidently, two days later he announced that Clarisse was pregnant and he would be moving out to take care of Clarisse at her home. They named their baby girl Phoebe. Jacob was the hardest number to delete out of Dennis’s phone twenty years later, but he still kept Clarisse’s just in case.
Luke was a damn good liar. He would spend most of his time working on the farm, keeping quiet and keeping most attention away from himself, so at night he could sneak off and smoke weed with his girlfriend without anyone noticing. Dennis noticed though, he noticed everything. One night Dennis was forced to sleep outside because he was being lazy, Luke promised to split his stash with Dennis if he kept his mouth shut to the rest of the family. He took notes on how Luke got away with everything, but Dennis was never a good liar so it always just got him into more trouble. Luke ran off on his 18th birthday and nobody knew where he was anymore, probably dead if Dennis was honest, but he didn’t want to mourn someone he never really knew, so he chose not to think about it.
Dennis was the runt, the baby, the one who people asked to be their friend as a dare. He worked hard on the farm and did almost anything in hopes his parents would look at him. If he couldn’t be the strongest or hardest worker, he would be the smartest. Throughout high school, he didn’t focus on anything other than academics, he cried whenever he got anything lower than a 94%, it felt like school was the only thing he excelled at, so if he couldn’t be good at school, he wasn’t good at anything. He graduated as salutatorian, he was beat by a kid with a 5.2 GPA who had gotten accepted to Harvard law. That night, Dennis snuck out to a grassy knoll a mile or two from his house and smoked until his eyes were bloodshot and he couldn’t remember why he was so upset in the first place.
In college, he found himself so uninterested in Theology, but refused to switch because it was the only way to get his parents approval. He couldn't help but yearn for the support of his parents who never supported him until he had announced he wanted to be a priest. His sophomore year, he heard a teacher was trying to get approval for a biomedical science class that would only be accepted if a certain number of students signed up.
So Dennis signed up and the class was approved a few weeks later. He found himself looking forward to that class more than anything. It was his lowest grade and the only class he had an A- in, but he was challenged. He enjoyed having a definitive answer, rather than most of his religious classes where most questions went unanswered and up for interpretation.
That summer he switched majors. He awaited the backlash, punishments, insults from his family, but they never came. Because they didn’t even notice. Letters and emails were sent home that were never opened because nobody had cared about what Dennis was doing in college. Getting high started to become an escape whenever he was lonely, it wasn’t an addiction or anything like that, but some nights the silence felt like too much, the hollow feeling in his stomach after days of starving himself to afford new books.
When he was no longer allowed to live in his college dorms, he started sleeping in parks and on sidewalks, not like he spent much time sleeping between his rotations and working part time as a waiter. Until his internal medicine rotation where he discovered the abandoned wing on the 8th floor of the PTMC. It worked out great really, as long as nobody watched him creep up the stairs at the end of his rotations, then there were no cons. Sure it smelled like mold and was always below 60° but it was more comfortable than a park bench.
After Pittfest, Dennis knew he would apply for residency at the ER. He was always moving and making quick decisions but he liked it. He liked the feeling of being useful. One of his first patients as an actual doctor at PTMC was a teenage girl who arrived unconscious. Apparently she had passed out when she fell down a flight of stairs after getting her wisdom teeth removed. He felt rude to say it was sort of funny, but when a loopy 15 year old wakes up in a hospital with a newly achieved concussion, you can’t help but laugh. The first thing she asked him when she woke up was if he could open up her phone and enter the queue for someone called ‘Phoebe Bridger’s concert. Whitaker politely said that he wasn’t sure if he was allowed, but he let up after she pulled the concussion card on him.
He got her front row seats.
Working at the PTMC gave him a sense of belonging, he had actually made friends, and not the friends who hang out with you as a joke or dare, they genuinely liked him which was new for Dennis. The days where he sleeps over at one of their houses are his favorites, sometimes movie or game night with what most people called ‘the pittlings’ would run late and they would end up sleeping over. He knew that any of his friends would offer a spare room or even a couch for him if they knew he was homeless, but he didn’t want to be a burden to any of them. They were already kind enough to talk to him in the first place, he didn’t want them thinking he was just using them for a bed or food.
If he were to take anyone up on an offer, it would be his attendings Jack and Robby. He couldn’t count how many times they had thrown him a sandwich or protein bar when his hands would start to shake. They wouldn’t even say anything, just hand it to him or place it on his desk for him to grab. Robby was sweet, he was always guiding him in the right direction, even if that meant literally grabbing him by the shoulders and steering him somewhere. He was always praising Dennis, even if it was something small. He was sure Robby had noticed the way he reacted the first time Robby told him he did a good job. The way Dennis’s ears turned pink and the blush that crept up his neck. Jack was tough, he didn’t give away praise as easily. Dennis was always trying to earn his approval, working an extra hour, jumping on any trauma cases he could. Once, Jack had told him that he would try to ‘steal him away from day shift’ and Dennis felt his stomach flutter.
He knew that this wasn’t the way that people felt about their bosses, let alone their two married bosses. He knew his heart shouldn’t beat faster when their arms bump or when Robby puts his hand on the back of Dennis’s neck. He knew that he shouldn’t turn red at any praise they gave. For a while, he tried to blame the fact that he wasn’t loved as a child, so he just really enjoyed it when people gave him recognition, but that was out the window the day that he watched Jack change into his scrubs before night shift started. But he really didn’t have the time to daydream about his attendings anyways.
He was headed towards a patient with a dislocated shoulder who had been screaming for the past thirty minutes. Everyone in the hospital was ready for him to leave, so Dennis bit the bullet and volunteered to go and pop it back into place.
“Hello sir my name’s Dr. Whitaker and I’m here to relieve some of your shoulder pain.”
“Fucking finally! I’ve been waiting in this damn hospital for hours!” The man was throwing his good arm up in the air and scoffing.
“I’m sorry for the wait we have had lots of patients today.” Whitaker replies with a tight smile.
“Well then can you just fix my shoulder so I can leave?”
“Yes sir, that's what I’m here for. Lay down on your back for me.” The man shuffles down the hospital bed, grunting at the movement of his arm.
“Okay I’m going to put my hands on your shoulder and your wrist and pop your shoulder back into place, if anything hurts let me know and I’ll stop.” He rotated and twisted the man's arm until an audible clunk was heard and the man exhaled in relief.
“Feel better?” Whitaker asked, clapping his hands together.
“Yes, thanks doc. Am I good to go?”
“Very soon I just need to get your papers and then you’re all set.”
Whitaker walked out of the room and passed Dr. Abbot who was apparently watching the entire time.
“Thanks for getting him to shut the hell up.” Abbot told him.
Whitaker felt his ears burn. “Oh yeah any time”
“You should really start heading out, it's already an hour past your shift ending.”
“Oh yeah I will, I just need to finish up with the screamer and then I’m good.” Whitaker promised.
“Good boy.” Abbot praised, raising his hand in an attempt at a high five.
Whitaker clearly didn’t understand that. When he was at the farm, a raised hand meant you had sinned and deserved punishment. A raised hand to any Whitaker meant you were about to be hit. So Dennis responded as he usually did whenever his father was about to hit him, he cowered under Abbot’s hand, raising his own arm to block his face from any impact. His breathing was staggered while waiting to be punished. He wasn’t sure what he had done wrong though, he had calmed the patient down and Abbot had even complimented him. So what did he do to deserve this?
“Woah Whitaker,” Abbot spoke softer than he usually did. Soft enough that Whitaker dropped his arm and opened his eyes. “Hey, I’m not gonna hurt you I promise. Just tryna give you a high five.” Abbot reassured, his forehead was crinkled with worry and his eyes were wider.
“Oh yeah uhm I know.” Dennis swallowed, avoiding eye contact. “I have to use the restroom, excuse me.” He bolted off to the bathroom, leaving Abbot stunned in the middle of the hospital.
Walking into the empty bathroom stall, he leaned into the wall, letting his knees give out as his body slipped down the wall. “Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindess. Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindess. Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindess.” He repeated, clutching the silver cross that burnt a hole in his chest. His eyes were cried dry and his breathing was calming. What was he thinking? He hadn’t been to Nebraska in years, and he knew Dr. Abbot wouldn’t hit him, so why was he acting like he was?
He worked through the rest of his charts and discharged the screaming patient. Anything to get him out of that hell-hole. He could see Dr. Abbot was eyeing him but he was too tired and embarrassed to even acknowledge what had happened. He was hoping that he could just drop it. He said goodnight to everybody he passed, he kept his head down and sped up when he saw Abbot walking towards him. He ran up the staircase towards the eighth floor, practically taking two steps at a time. He was so distracted with just making it to his room, he didn’t hear the footsteps creeping up behind him.
Abbot was smart. Smart enough to know that when you see a resident walking up the stairs to a floor they definitely shouldn’t be on, you don’t scream or lecture immediately, instead you follow with precaution to see where they might be going. He had always had a soft spot for Whitaker the second he heard about what he did for his husband during Pittfest. The kid was fast, always wanting to learn. He was always kinda jumpy, like any loud noise might scare him off. He was cute too. His husband had told him in tears one night how he felt about his new med student, and about the guilt he felt for feeling the way he did. Jack had been feeling the same way, and he knew Robby did too, which was why he had never said anything about it.
At first, Robby wasn’t even sure that Whitaker was gay, Abbot knew the second he saw the way the kid looked at Robby after he had flexed his bicep while picking up a patient. Needless to say they were enamoured with Dennis, so when Jack had tried for a high five and ended up scaring the kid shitless thinking he was gonna hit him, Abbot got a little nervous. He would tell Robby sometime, but he needed to talk to Whitaker first, to make sure something isn’t seriously wrong other than the trauma you can tell he has. But Whitaker was avoiding him like the plague, picking up speed whenever he was around, and keeping his head down when passing him. So Jack had no choice than to follow Dennis up the stairs.
Dennis had made it to his room, scrounging through his bag in search of his headphones. He started changing out of his scrub top while scrolling through albums to play. He ended up choosing Wild Cherry and hummed along to the familiar songs. He needed to decompress and keep his mind off of the humiliation he’d caused earlier with his crush boss. But that ended up being harder than he thought it would, Dr. Abbott was standing in his doorway, watching a shirtless Whitaker dance to “Play That Funky Music.”
“HOLY SHIT!” Dennis stumbled backwards into his bed, chest heaving with fear
“Didn’t realise there was a party up here, must’ve forgotten my invite.” Abbot giggled.
“Oh shut up, I've faced enough humiliation for the day.” He scoffed.
“You get bratty when you're tired or just with me?” He was still laughing. Then he started to actually look around the room, it was littered with books and papers and Dennis’s backpack. It was clear that Whitaker had been crashing here for who knows how long.
“Come on, pack your things.” Abbot leaned against the door frame.
Dennis' eyes went huge and he started to stutter. “No please Dr. Abbot I don’t have anywhere else, I’m in nobody's way please I can’t go back to the streets.” He pleaded, he didn’t care how pathetic he probably sounded.
“The streets? You know what, we’ll talk about that later but you're coming to mine and Robby’s. We get lonely anyways so company will be nice.” Abbot told him.
“What? N-no I couldn't possibly intrude on you two. Really I’m just fine here, it’s honestly pretty cozy.” Dennis was lying through his teeth. He had dreamed about living with Jack and Robby, obviously he was hoping it would be in a less embarrassing scenario but beggars can’t be choosers.
“Den, pack your stuff up your coming whether I have to drag you out of here by your feet.”
“Yes sir.”
It hadn’t taken Dennis more than five minutes to pack his meager belongings. Abbot had walked them to his car and turned the radio on. It was some old rock song he had never heard of before but it was better than silence.
“I saw you pack up a box of cigarettes, I didn’t know you smoked.” Abbot said.
“Oh, not cigarettes, it's weed.” Dennis clapped a hand over his mouth. “Oh gosh I don’t know why I said that but I promise it's not like that! I only do it on hard nights or days off, never at work, it's not what you're thinking.” He swore.
“I get it, everybody has something to calm them down. I’ll let you smoke right now if you want, I know it’s your day off tomorrow.” Abbot told him.
Dennis knew he probably wasn’t being serious, but he knew he was gonna have to talk with Jack about the whole high five thing and he really didn't want to be sober for it. So he pulled out the pack and a lighter and started to smoke it. The relief was instant, he could almost feel his muscles loosen up.
“Do you wanna talk about what happened now or later tonight.” Abbot had asked.
Just like that Whitaker’s muscles tightened back again. “Later please.”
Jack and Robby’s house was big. It wasn’t a mansion with a red carpet leading to the front door but it was the nicest house Dennis had ever seen.
“Don’t be nervous, you can come inside.”
Dennis hadn’t even realised that he was just standing outside the door like a deer in headlights. “Thanks again for letting me stay for the night Dr. Abbot.” He said wearily, he wasn’t actually sure how long he would be staying here since he’s not buying a house of his own any time soon.
“Please we aren’t at work Jack is just fine.”
“Okay well thank you Jack for letting me stay.” Whitaker tested out the name.
“Sit down, make yourself at home, you want something to eat? Drink?”
“Oh no that’s alright you’ve already done more than enough for me.” He declined.
“Alright then, are you ready to tell me about earlier.” Jack sat down on the couch, motioning to the empty spot for Dennis to sit. Instead of sitting, he laid down on the empty spot and rested his head on Jack’s lap, staring at the ceiling.
“Thaaaaat works too.” Jack chuckled and started to play with Dennis’ ashy blonde curls.
“You’re very nice to me, maybe too nice.” Dennis smiled.
“And you’re very high.” Jack retorted, lightly smacking Dennis’ cheek to keep him awake.
“When you said ‘talk about earlier’ you mean the high five don’t you?” He whined
“Yeah, you’ve got me a little nervous Den.”
“I didn’t mean to, ‘m sorry.” Dennis frowned “I don’t know how I’m supposed to start, I’ve never talked about this before.”
“Tell me anything you want me to know.” Jack soothed.
Dennis thought about the sleepless nights spent in the barn, the un-eaten dinners, the belts and whips. His eyes welled with tears but he spoke.
“My family never really liked me, I lived on a farm in Nebraska with my parents and four older brothers. They were all mean to me, said I was ungodly and that’s why I sinned. Whenever you didn’t help on the farm, if you got in trouble at school, or if you were me and did something your family didn’t like you were punished.”
Dennis stopped when he realised tears were falling from his eyes. Maybe it wasn’t smart to get stoned before this. “Dr- Jack I don’t know if I can do this right now.” He whispered.
“That’s okay baby you did really well, let's just sleep tonight and we’ll check in tomorrow. Sounds good?”
“Mhm” was all Dennis could muster.
The second that Dennis had fallen onto their guest bed he was asleep. Jack pulled his shoes off and covered him with a blanket before going to bed himself. Asleep in their bed already was Robby.
“Mikey, wake up.” Jack shook him awake.
“Mm I’m up I’m up.” Robby slurred, rubbing his eyes and sitting up.
“Our boy’s staying here for a while.”
That woke Robby up. “Dennis? Why is he okay?”
“Long story but apparently he’s been crashing in an abandoned room on the eighth floor. Also something kinda happened with him earlier.” Jack admitted, not really sure how to phrase it.
“Are you fucking with me? There’s mold embedded in that place! Also what do mean ‘something happened?’” Robby was trying not to yell or break anything but it was getting harder and harder.
“Okay well he did a good job with a patient and I went to give him a high five and he flinched like I was gonna hurt him."
Robby winced at the story.
"When I told him I was never going to hit him he just kinda ran away.” Jack told him, replaying the moment.
“Shit, you think he’s got PTSD or something?” Robby asked.
“I don’t know, I asked him about it when he was in our living room,-which by the way when he sat down he sat on my lap so be jealous,- he started talking about how he used to get punished a lot but I couldn’t get much out of him before he told me he needed to stop.”
“Him and I have the day off tomorrow, I can see if I can get anything else. Also fuck you dude how did you get him to sit on your lap?” Robby smacked the back of Jack’s head.
“Guess I'm just better.” He shrugged.