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Jesse wakes as the bed shakes lightly and a quiet sob fills the bedroom. He blinks, eyes tired from crying and his brain still fuzzy from dreams he doesn’t remember. Gabriel is sitting on the edge of their bed, head buried in his hands. There’s a sniffle and a sigh, followed by another sob.
How long have you been sitting like this Gabriel?
His back to the wall, Jesse lies completely still, staring at Gabriel’s shaking body. The room is dark, but he can just about make out the scars on his left side, a bit of light from the street illuminating the slightly raised lines spreading from strong shoulders and further down the broad back.
He wants to reach out and touch him, tell him to come back to bed. He wants to kiss his mouth and his tear-stained cheeks, run his hands down those strong arms and whisper in his ear that he’s sorry. That he’ll do anything to make things right again. But there is no going back. There is no way to undo his betrayal.
I’m so sorry Gabriel.
As Jesse draws in a breath, his chest tight from holding it, he makes far more noise than intended. Gabriel goes completely still, body frozen mid cry. His frame broadens as he stretches with a sigh and lifts his head from his hands. He stands up, the bed creaking slightly as his weight is lifted off it. Jesse watches him from the bed as he walks across the room, picking up scattered clothing from the floor, discarded only a few hours prior. He holds his breath again as Gabriel turns in the doorway, quickly glancing back at him, before exiting and closing the door.
Are you leaving me Gabriel?
There’s sounds coming from the kitchen, muffled by the thick door, cabinets being opened and a bag being zipped. Jesse sits up in the bed, barely daring to breathe even now, desperately clinging to the small sounds Gabriel is making as he walks around the apartment. Footsteps change from light to heavy, Jesse knowing the sound of Gabriel’s combat boots against the hardwood floor. Without warning the bedroom door opens again. Sharp light from the hallway is spilling into the still dark bedroom, forming an aura around Gabriel’s frame. It’s impossible for Jesse to see his face, his eyes blinded.
He opens his mouth to speak, but only a weak croak makes it out. He tries again.
“Gabriel, I-“
“Don’t,” Gabriel cuts him off, voice flat and without emotion, “just need my phone.”
He walks across the room as Jesse scrambles to reach for him, tears threatening to spill from his eyes, but he just grabs his phone from the nightstand without as much as looking at Jesse.
“Don’t call me,” he says, voice now slightly trembling as he lingers in the doorway, his face turned towards the hallway. There’s a million things Jesse wants to say, wants to tell him. Things that might persuade him into staying, into not leaving him like this. But nothing that can undo the past.
With a heavy sigh Gabriel walks out into the hallway, leaving the door open behind him this time. Jesse watches as he picks up his large duffle bag and slings it over his shoulder, and he holds off his tears and his sobs until Gabriel turns off the light in the hallway and closes the front door behind him, leaving Jesse behind in the dark apartment.
It’s all my fault Gabriel.