Chapter Text
Jacob has to say, helping Cal is a lot harder than he thought it would be. While, yes, he enjoys a challenge when it comes to getting women but helping another man get women? Not his field. He has been coming to this bar for years, good drinks, good people, even better women but the men? Dire.
Some men come in expecting the women to flock to them, with their watches, suits, shoes, money, others pussy foot around the idea of walking up to women, and others get drunk at a bar because their wife cheated on them. Honestly, Cal isn’t the first, he has seen this type of man come in for years, if he looks to his left he sees one, fourth drink in hand crying over his wife leaving him for their gardener. Pitiful. Cal was just the first to get the ‘Jacob treatment’ and it isn’t particularly going well.
They have been at it for 2 weeks now, a new outfit has been instated but a new attitude, not yet. Cal still walks up to women and talks about his kids (strike one), his wife (strike two) and fucking David Lindhagen (strike three and bound). Yes there has been improvement but minimal, women will look his way but are yet to approach or at least interact with him. He has just had to watch him talk to a beautiful woman, hair done up, stunning backless dress and fumble it to the ground. While he did not hear the convocation, he could see the growing distain on the woman’s face and the way Cal got more and more nervous throughout. God he is hopeless, good job Jacob has the patience of a saint.
He swirls his drink around at the bar as Cal walks closer and closer. He looks distraught, hands in his pockets, shoulders closed in, all things Jacob told Cal not to do under any circumstance, it makes him look like the pathetic man he is not the confident man he shall become.
“I blew it”
Jacob didn’t respond, he didn’t need to. His face said everything and beyond.
“Alright, alright stop that” Cal walks closer and wafts his hands around as he speaks.
“Did you mention one of the big three strikes?” Jacob tilts his head down as if to look over glasses that he doesn’t own and takes a sip out of his nearly finished cocktail.
“No!!”
….
“I didn’t mention them but as I talked, I got nervous and words stumbled out of my mouth and then I find I’m taking out my clothes that got stollen by the neighbours dog and then from my neighbours’ dog I talked about my neighbour and then that went into Emily and then that we-“
“Woah, woah, woah, slow down there.” Cal had started to pick up the pace as he talked out of embarrassment, this happens a lot. Normally Cal shadows Jacob like an intern at a new job but for 3 days in a row he has sent him out on his own to try and see if he could get a girl, but also to see what techniques Jacob needs to Miyagi into Cals mind and it’s a lot of techniques mind you. “You were starting to ramble again, ad if this is how you talked to her then I can see why it didn’t work.”
“Wow encouraging.”
“No, no, take this as constructive criticism. Don’t to that.” He slaps his arm as he speaks. “Women don’t like people who rant, info dump, whatever you call it. You need to talk to them, let them lead the convocation. Be polite, match their mood and vibe, be the person they would love to be with. Don’t be the depressed divorced dad who has problems with clothes, neighbours and a wife who doesn’t want to be with him but instead with David Fucking Lindhagen.”
Cal closes in on himself and whispers to himself, “No need to bring him up.”
“Well, you already did dipshit.” Jacob chugs the rest of his drink leaving near melted ice at the bottom before looking around at the people in the bar on this Thursday evening.
There looks like what seems to a bridal party in one of the booths, they have been here for 2 hours, and he has been monitoring them. Not out of lust but out of the shear audacity they all hold. Screaming and laughing their heads off to the point were people who sat around them moved out the way for safety of their ears and headaches they may get. Near the door is another group of women, chatting at a normal volume. They all looked done up for a celebration, but he didn’t think they were on the table for Cal, he could definitely bag one of them, but he needs someone Cal may be able to seduce and wow its slim pickings. Around the bar are men, but they are all drinking their sorrows and with water downed vodka for extortionate prices.
Further near the back of the are three people all drinking together, two men and 1 woman. Sadly, not on the table as the woman seems to be leaning into the blonde man at her side, yep, definitely a couple. He carries on searching the bar as Cal orders himself a ‘confidence’ drink. He then spots a brown-haired woman just walking out of the bathroom, she doesn’t seem to be associated with any of the groups he spotted. Perfect.
“Hey, look over there.” He nudges Cal who’s drink slightly spills on his pants, eh it’ll dry and the lights make it look nearly invisible. “She looks like someone who is ready for a fun time”
Cal looks at the women in the most noticeable way which makes Jacob shudder. “Her?”
“Yes her, she seems to be on her own and why would a lady come to a bar all dressed up on her own?”
“To get a drink?”
“wh- no. To get with someone, she is surveying the bar as we speak, and she is perfect for you to walk up to and start talking with.”
Cal seems to consider it, halfway through is drink before putting it down and looking Jacob directly in the eyes.
“You may think it is easy to walk up to a woman and start talking to her, but I don’t. You have see me do this for three days now, come on.”
The music and the laughter of the bridal party ply for a second as Jacob considers what Cal says. He has said stuff like this for weeks but this time he considers a different approach. Maybe this will help Cal gain confidence if Jacob also steps out of his comfort zone.
Putting his hands up in a small fake surrender, Jacob speaks, “Alright, I get it. I’m just too good it’s that intimidating but what I also try something new hmm?”
“….Go on”
“You talk to that beautiful lady over there and I will talk to a man.”
Cal stares at Jacob for a second to much before his face morphs into confusion. “what do you mean a man?”
“You know what a man is.”
“Of course, I know what a man is I’m not stupid, but for the weeks we have talked, you have only every talked to women, why would you want to talk to a man?”
Cals confusing is palpable, but Jacob looks at him with slight boredom “I don’t just like women, I like men too but this bar is so full of men like you it is rare to find anyone that worth talking to. I mean look, this bar is full of other depressed men here to drink away their sorrows after a fifteen hour shift, now look at the women, here to drink and have a fun time. Do you see me problem?”
Cal sighs “yes”
“Also, you don’t like men so why would I teach you how to pick up men”
“That is not what I meant to signify.”
They sit in silence as Cal finished his liquid luck and keeps eyeing the woman as if to figure out the best way to approach, good he is learning. He then turns to Jacob. “if you also like men, how is talking to men ‘out of your comfort zone’. Shouldn’t that be your comfort zone?”
“Haven’t done it in a while.”
“Wow, why?”
Jacob moves his arm around the bar showing off the other men.
Cal sighs, “fair enough, but which one of these fine picks are you going to go with them?”
Jacob grimaces as he looks at the sleaze bags, the depressed alcoholics and the unfaithful men around the bar as well as on the tables further out.
As he looks around, he spots the table of three from before, the two men and the woman. While one of the men has been coupled up, the other hasn’t and compared to the rest of the men in the vicinity that man is a breath of fresh air. His dirty blonde hair, cream converse that look well worn, and drink that looks barely touched. It’s clear that he doesn’t normally come to places like this purely based on three facts but that also makes him endearing to Jacob. Why is he in such a place? He needs to know, it also good that this man is just his type. He can’t believe he glosses over him before, he is so used to only seeing the worst type of men in here that he forgets that sometimes if you look hard enough you can find gold.
“Him over there, table near the back. The blonde one.”
“Both of them are blonde.”
“The one not with a woman obviously.” Jacob’s voice hits a tone of annoyance as Cal just doesn’t pay attention. “You go talk to the woman I showed you, and I will talk to him.”
They look at each other and give a nod to say ‘let’s go’
As Cal walks away, Jacob stales. He hasn’t stalled in a while when approaching a woman, but this is not a woman. He hasn’t tried to pick up a man in a while; it shouldn’t be that different but a lot of the times it is. Women follow patterns, men don’t. They think it shows their complexities; God he hopes this blonde isn’t like that. He can’t stand men who believe they are above others or try to dominate conversations, makes sleeping with them so much harder than it needs to be.
After a bit of mental gymnastics and observing Cal he takes his first step towards the blonde man as well as his party. They seem to be enjoying themselves but the blonde man being more reserved than the other two but maybe that’s because he hasn’t drunk as much as them. The closer he gets the more obvious the other two have had quite a bit to drink, table not full of empty glasses but enough to know they are fairly drunk. He also sees how the blonde man is smiling at the couple with a look of content and familiarity, as if this happens a lot.
Now finally at the table he looks at the blonde man who hasn’t yet noticed his arrival and speaks. “Don’t think I’ve seen you here before and I think I would have noticed some one like you.” He tries to charm.
The blonde man looks away from the couple and into Jacobs eyes and, wow. Glasses that sat awkwardly and incorrectly on his face, blue eyes which seem to sparkle in the bars lighting, toned body which wasn’t visible from a far and a look of pure and full attention.
“I’m sorry, are you talking to me?” he points to himself as if surprised someone would come up to him at all.
He thinks to himself, ‘If I fumble this, I am destined to live like Cal’