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Your name is Dave Strider, and your life is heaven.
It's been 7 years since The Game, and you've never felt calmer and happier in your life. You live with your boyfriend, Karkat, who is also your matesprit, moirail and kismesis. You've long since sorted out your chores. You enjoy grocery shopping and taking out the trash, and even mopping the floors is a joy while he's by your side.
You love him to the moon and back, and right now you're snuggled up in your shared bed, watching one of his favorite rom-coms, his head’s on your chest. After you settled on the Earth-C, you discovered a whole sea of new films that you could watch, and you, naturally, were forced to watch every movie he liked with him, just as he was forced to watch every movie you liked with you. Not that you mind. You're not really paying much attention to the movie, instead playing with his curls, occasionally scratching one of his horns to coax a soft chirp out of him. What you're sure of is that you will never get tired of it.
However, it seems like the movie is coming to its end, because you hear a sob. He always gets so sentimental towards the end of his movies. He once admitted to you that he often imagines the two of you as the main characters, and it kind of melted your heart, even though you laughed at the time. You really tried not to, but it just was too adorable. Sometimes you don't believe this dude is real.
DAVE: whats up
DAVE: did the action of kissing bring you to tears once again?
KARKAT: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
KARKAT: YOU DIDN'T EVEN WATCH ANYWAY. YOU’VE GOT NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT.
DAVE: no im not teasing
DAVE: i am over it
KARKAT: UH-HUH. YOU SURE ARE.
DAVE: im a grown ass man now karkat dont belittle my personal growth
DAVE: after all these years you can officially relax romcoms are definitely a superior genre
DAVE: i admit long-term defeat in my tastes
KARKAT: GOOD. AS YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE LONG AGO.
KARKAT: I WOULD SAY, IF YOUR STATEMENT WASN'T SO MADDENINGLY OBVIOUSLY IRONIC, YOU SCUMBAG.
And here you are again. God, you love your bickerings. They are always so pointless, and you always keep them going so easily for hours on end. You love how passionate he is, even about small things like your taste in movies. You love how he chooses to argue with you instead of watching them.
KARKAT: IF YOU DON'T WANT TO WATCH, FINE, GOG, I CAN GET OVER IT! BUT FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND DAMNED, DON'T DISTRACT *ME*.
DAVE: and where did you get the information that i didnt watch huh
DAVE: maybe i was watching this whole time how would you know
DAVE: this is actually pretty disrespectful of you to assume
DAVE: are you disrespecting me
KARKAT: SO WHAT IS THIS MOVIE ABOUT THEN?
DAVE: uh
DAVE: two chicks piningly macking on each other for 2 hours straight
KARKAT: OH MY GOD!
DAVE: oh come on
DAVE: theyre all the same
KARKAT: NO THEY ARE NOT!
KARKAT: DO YOU THINK I WOULD WATCH THE EXACT SAME THINGS FOR DAYS ON?
DAVE: i mean
KARKAT: NO!!!
KARKAT: DON’T YOU DARE.
KARKAT: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME FINISH IT.
And you do exactly that. After a decade with this guy, you know for sure when you should really shut your mouth to avoid upsetting him. You'd never want to genuinely upset him. If he wants to finish this movie so badly, you'll let him have this. Maybe even try to get into it yourself, even though there are only 20 minutes left.
Based on what's on the screen, there seems to be some kind of soulmate fuss. You've noticed this theme many times in films featuring trolls, and it's generally clear to you that the theme of true love is very important to them. This also touches you in a way, especially knowing that Karkat usually imagines the two of you.
DAVE: aww dude look its us
DAVE: its us if we were dykes and i was a troll
KARKAT: ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME?
DAVE: what no
DAVE: why would you think that what did i say
DAVE: look
DAVE: theyre like
DAVE: head over heels for each other
DAVE: because of some kind of fateful shenanigans
DAVE: it is similar
KARKAT: …
KARKAT: YOU THINK SO?
DAVE: i do
DAVE: our home galaxies were literally destroyed we went through some bullshit cosmic adventure to end up together
DAVE: theyre connected by fate just like us
You drawl, nuzzling against him.
KARKAT: OH.
KARKAT: YEAH, THEY ARE.
He probably didn't expect that. One point for you for being a good boyfriend-matesprit.
DAVE: and theyre gonna be together forever
DAVE: just like us
You say with a small sigh, burying your nose in his hair and inhaling its scent. Yes, maybe after 10 years you've become imbued with such cheesy phrases, but who cares? You love him. Very much. And you're finally not afraid to admit it, and you feel safe enough to show it. The circumstances of your new life have certainly played a role, but you simply can't deny that the biggest reason for your sense of peace is him. He's caring, he's patient, he's indulgent with you when you're obnoxious. He's sweet and kind, funny and courteous, he's overall wonderful and–
KARKAT: HEH.
KARKAT: YEAH…
–he sounds sad?
DAVE: what
DAVE: somethings wrong
You don't see anything sad about the fact that you'll be together forever. You could point to his mortality, but that issue was resolved long ago when you realized that Jane's powers are capable of regenerating aging cells. He couldn't forget about it, it's not something you can forget. He's definitely not planning on leaving you? Suddenly, you're very unsure of everything.
KARKAT: …NAH.
KARKAT: FORGET IT.
You're ready to bet that he feels your heart start to beat faster.
DAVE: no dude im not gonna just “forget it”
DAVE: i didnt say anything bad i just said that we’re gonna be together forever
DAVE: as far as i remember this aint no bad thing
DAVE: or
KARKAT: NO, DAVE. IT IS NOT A BAD THING.
KARKAT: I WOULD LOVE TO SPEND ETERNITY WITH YOU.
DAVE: and you literally will
DAVE: we’re both immortal have you forgotten
KARKAT: WE ARE…
His voice takes on a tinge of sadness again, and you're completely at a loss as to what's wrong. When you first learned about Jane's method, he didn't want to use it because he "accepted his death long ago”, and you MAYBE made him change his mind with your hysteria about it, but you thought he'd sincerely reconsidered this idea and wanted to live. Is this not the case?
DAVE: man
DAVE: do you still want to die or something
KARKAT: NO!
KARKAT: OH MY GOD, NO. DON’T REMIND ME.
KARKAT: THIS WAS A STUPID, ARROGANT PRINCIPLE THAT I DEVELOPED WHEN I WAS AROUND 4 JUST TO FEEL BETTER THAN THOSE WHO WERE DESTINED TO LIVE LONGER THAN 9 SWEEPS, AND YOU KNOW IT.
DAVE: then whats wrong
DAVE: are you gonna dump me
KARKAT: NO I’M NOT!!!
KARKAT: *I’M* NOT.
He puts emphasis on the word "I’m" and you seem to begin to understand.
DAVE: what you think IM gonna dump YOU?
DAVE: ive been playing with your hair for the last hour and a half what exactly about this behavior screams "god im so tired of this guy"?
KARKAT: I MEAN, NOT ANYTIME SOON. HOPEFULLY.
DAVE: dude
You gently push him off of you to look him in the eyes, letting him lean back against the pillows next to you.
DAVE: why would i ever dump you
KARKAT: LISTEN.
KARKAT: ETERNITY IS A LONG FUCKING THING.
KARKAT: YOU CAN'T EXACTLY GUARANTEE ME THAT SOME “INCIDENT” WON’T HAPPEN OVER SUCH A COMICALLY ENORMOUS PERIOD OF TIME.
DAVE: huh
DAVE: and what do you mean by “incident”
KARKAT: LITERALLY ANYTHING.
KARKAT: YOU FINDING SOMEONE ELSE, GROWING TIRED OF ME, US ARGUING ONCE AGAIN AND YOU SIMPLY REALIZING THIS IS JUST NOT FOR YOU.
DAVE: well mind you
DAVE: i could say the exact same thing about you
DAVE: wheres YOUR guarantee that you wont find anyone else wont grow tired of me and wont realize this is not for YOU?
KARKAT: IT’S NOT THE SAME!
DAVE: and hows that
KARKAT: I *KNOW* THAT I WON’T GROW TIRED OF YOU.
DAVE: karkat my guy
DAVE: you wont believe the shit im about to tell you
DAVE: this is straight up nuts i understand
DAVE: but hear me out
DAVE: i know the exact same thing
KARKAT: YOU CAN’T KNOW THAT.
DAVE: man how come so you can and i cant
KARKAT: YOU’RE A HUMAN!
KARKAT: YOU JUST CAN’T.
It makes your eyes widen. Of all the arguments he could have used, this was the one you least expected.
DAVE: excuse me?
KARKAT: SORRY!
DAVE: what is this even supposed to mean
DAVE: this sounds xenophobic
DAVE: are you a xenophobe
KARKAT: NO I AM NOT!
KARKAT: BY ALL DEFINITIONS I AM THE EXACT OPPOSITE.
DAVE: then what do you mean
DAVE: are you implying i am not capable of
DAVE: i dunno
DAVE: thinking?
KARKAT: NO-
DAVE: analyzing things??
DAVE: cause lemme tell you youre the most ridiculously incredible person i’ve ever met
DAVE: i was literally just thinking about never growing tired of our routine
DAVE: and i would understand if you just believed that we would eventually break up
DAVE: darn pessimistic but whatever
DAVE: but implying that IM going to dump YOU just because im a different species
DAVE: you are different for me too am i supposed to get my panties all twisted because of that
KARKAT: IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU BEING A DIFFERENT SPECIES.
KARKAT: IT’S ABOUT ME BEING A TROLL AND YOU BEING A HUMAN.
DAVE: ???
You really, really do not understand.
KARKAT: I ALREADY TOLD YOU HOW IMPORTANT THE CULTURE OF TRUE LOVE IS FOR US.
KARKAT: YOU COULDN'T JUST HOP FROM BED TO BED ON THE ALTERNIA, THAT WAS A DIRECT PATH TO BEING KILLED.
KARKAT: OR CULLED IF YOU AND YOUR INCONSISTENCY WITH PARTNERS LEAD TO A LACK OF GENETIC MATERIAL.
KARKAT: PEOPLE DIDN'T HAVE SUCH PROBLEMS.
DAVE: so what
DAVE: you think the concept of true love doesnt exist for us
DAVE: man we've watched a ton of human movies and you seemed to be into them
DAVE: how did you not notice
KARKAT: I NOTICED.
KARKAT: AND THIS REALLY SEEMS LIKE A FUNNY, COOL FAIRYTALE TO YOU.
KARKAT: BUT I'VE ALSO NOTICED THAT YOU ARE MUCH MORE LIKELY TO CHANGE.
KARKAT: TO MOVE ON FROM THE FAMILIAR AND STRIVE FOR NEW EXPERIENCES.
KARKAT: YOU’RE JUST MOST LIKELY TO GET…
KARKAT: BORED.
DAVE: okay do NOT judge me by human films
KARKAT: YOU JUST MENTIONED THEM YOURSELF!
DAVE: yes to tell you that there IS a concept of true love that exists for humans
DAVE: and for me personally its pretty fucking important
DAVE: youre my first love my first relationship my first kiss my first time and further on
DAVE: youre my first everything
DAVE: trust me i would do everything in my power to save our relationship if anything happened i dont want to like
DAVE: lose you
KARKAT: I DON’T WANT TO LOSE YOU TOO.
KARKAT: BUT I WOULD BE A FOOL IF I DID NOT ADMIT THAT SUCH A POSSIBILITY EXISTS.
DAVE: i already told you that if you want to be a pessimistic asshole you can be one
DAVE: youre right i cant guarantee such things if we are boring sad realists
DAVE: but its not like youre telling me that we might fight
DAVE: you are telling me that im a human and my “passion for adventure” will be our undoing?
DAVE: this is straight up bullshit
KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW.
DAVE: trust me karkat after the game i wont "strive for new experiences" for a long time
KARKAT: ONCE AGAIN, ETERNITY IS A REALLY LONG TIME.
DAVE: no
DAVE: dude
DAVE: listen i am extremely not okay with you just thinking im gonna dump you eventually just because im a fucking human
KARKAT: I’M SORRY.
KARKAT: I DIDN'T WANT TO BRING THIS UP.
DAVE: you dont understand
DAVE: this is just not true
DAVE: people are capable of living their entire lives with one partner
DAVE: there are even those who live with only one person they met at a young age
KARKAT: 45 SWEEPS IS NOT ETERNITY.
DAVE: so what trolls didnt live much longer
KARKAT: EXCEPT THEY DID!
KARKAT: SOME PURPLEBLOOD GENERALS SPENT SEVERAL THOUSANDS OF YEARS TOGETHER.
DAVE: did you just say "years" on purpose to exaggerate the number
KARKAT: I DIDN’T EXAGGERATE SHIT!
KARKAT: THESE WERE REAL MILLENNIUMS.
DAVE: of years
DAVE: and only five centuries of sweeps
KARKAT: WHO CARES??? MY POINT STANDS.
DAVE: what point
DAVE: you think im gonna stop loving you after a thousand years?
KARKAT: I
DAVE: SERIOUSLY?
DAVE: ONE thousand??
KARKAT: MAYBE A BIT LONGER.
DAVE: A BIT LONGER???
DAVE: of all the people you are the last one i would expect to have such an undeveloped sense of understanding about what emotional reliance is
DAVE: i can literally guarantee you that until you turn into a complete asshole and start treating me worse than we treat our poor sheets i will be with you
KARKAT: I’M SORRY.
DAVE: oh my god
KARKAT: PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME THINK ABOUT IT.
His voice wavers and oh god, he’s actually about to cry.
DAVE: its just your reason is so fucking stupid
DAVE: you literally took and generalized my entire culture based on a bunch of romanticized films made for complete douchebags who like this kind of erratic bullshit
KARKAT: YOU *ARE* THE COMPLETE DOUCHEBAG WHO DOWNLOADED THESE FILMS BACK ON EARTH!
DAVE: yeah when i was 13 and was heavily affected by my fucking bro
You snap at him, getting defensive. This is turning into a serious conflict and you don't like it at all. The movie ended a couple of minutes ago, and you're starting to feel really uncomfortable.
KARKAT: DON’T– DON’T DRAG HIM INTO IT! THIS IS UNFAIR!
DAVE: how is this unfair i literally barely had my own tastes back then
DAVE: do you know what he would do to me if he found something on my pc that HE didnt think was badass?
KARKAT: I DO KNOW, DAVE. YOU ALREADY INFORMED ME ON THAT MATTER.
He snaps back, and it sounds way too aggressive for the topic he's talking about.
DAVE:
DAVE: ok dont
DAVE: dont say it like that
This time, it's your voice that wavers. It's incredibly hard for you to tell anyone about this, and hearing it said in a semi-aggressive tone, ESPECIALLY from Karkat, hits you hard.
KARKAT: FUCK
KARKAT: I’M SORRY!
He instantly softens his voice, wrapping his arms around you.
KARKAT: I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT, I SWEAR I–
DAVE: i know
KARKAT: I WOULD NEVER–
DAVE: i know man
KARKAT: I’M
KARKAT: SO SORRY.
You snuggle into his shoulder, sighing deeply, and silence falls between you. He holds you close, stroking your back just barely.
You didn't plan for this night to go like this. You feel like shit, and you're sure Karkat feels the same way. You're still not sure how to convince him that you’re not going to dump him because you’re tired of him, but now he's forced to comfort you instead, and he does it like the best boyfriend he is. That's why you're sure you'll never leave him. That's why you love him. And of course you would do the same.
You spend some time like this.
DAVE: i just
You start after about a minute of comforting silence.
DAVE: i love you
KARKAT: I LOVE YOU TOO.
DAVE: and i am incredibly sure of it
DAVE: and it hurts me that you dont trust me with this?
DAVE: like
DAVE: i understand that you have mixed feelings about humans and you dont exactly know a ton about the society i grew up in
DAVE: but really dont judge me by what i liked when i was 13
DAVE: or what i thought i liked when i was 13
DAVE: you know when i was 13 i thought i liked a lot of things that i actually didnt like
DAVE: women for example
KARKAT: PFFT.
You made him laugh, and it makes you smile too.
DAVE: and i actually meant what i said about those chicks being us
DAVE: and us being fated to end up together in general
DAVE: i want to be with you and
DAVE: i already told you its obvious that none of us can guarantee anything to each other for sure
DAVE: but god damn
DAVE: me being human??
DAVE: how should this affect my personality at all
DAVE: or my views on life
DAVE: for trolls there are four quadrants for you there is one
DAVE: and we already discussed that this is absolutely normal
KARKAT: YEAH…
DAVE: so uh
DAVE: if for some people the concept of true love does not exist for me it does
DAVE: and my true love is you
KARKAT:
KARKAT: SNIFFLE.
DAVE: aww man
KARKAT: DON’T YOU DARE LAUGH RIGHT NOW.
DAVE: im not laughing
DAVE: youre just
DAVE: being cute
You finally pull away from him to kiss his tear away, then peck down his cheek and to his lips.
KARKAT: I’M SORRY.
KARKAT: I JUST–
KARKAT: I'M SO SORRY THAT AFTER ALL THIS TIME I CAN'T ACCEPT THAT AT LEAST SOME OF MY HAPPINESS WILL LAST.
KARKAT: I'M SO USED TO THAT EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY ENDS THAT I’M JUST
KARKAT: SCARED TO HOPE, I GUESS?
DAVE: we live in an ideal world where everything is literally perfect
DAVE: we’re gods man
KARKAT: IT DOESN’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING WITH ME IN PARTICULAR.
KARKAT: AND I'M NOT THAT MUCH OF A GOD. I'M JUST A REFUGEE FROM A FAILED SESSION WHO SUCCESSFULLY STADDLED TO YOURS, THE SUCCESSFUL ONE.
DAVE: well im a refugee too
DAVE: what are you saying that the only real gods here are johns and my parents?
KARKAT: I MEAN.
KARKAT: AT LEAST YOU HAVE GOD TIER
KARKAT: AND I NEED TO RELY ON JANE TO LIVE.
DAVE: dude you literally created us
KARKAT: AND GAVE YOUR UNIVERSE CANCER.
DAVE: god
DAVE: why do you have to be this pessimistic about yourself
DAVE: i really thought you were done with this
KARKAT: I’M SORRY! I’M JUST
KARKAT: SO *USED* TO THIS.
KARKAT: IT’S SO HARD TO CHANGE MY MINDSET AFTER EVERYTHING
KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW HOW TO THINK DIFFERENTLY
KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LIVE DIFFERENTLY.
KARKAT: IT’S BASICALLY A PART OF MY PERSONALITY AT THIS POINT.
DAVE: being straight was part of my personality at one time
DAVE: didnt lead to anything good
KARKAT: PFFT– GOG!
KARKAT: STOP THAT
KARKAT: YOU’RE BEING STUPID.
DAVE: and youre being dramatic
DAVE: i love you
DAVE: everyone loves you
DAVE: youre literally the coolest guy out there
DAVE: you know sometimes i fall asleep thinking about how many ordinary mortals envy me for dating you
KARKAT: I DON’T THINK THERE’S MANY OF THEM, REALLY.
DAVE: no there sure is
KARKAT: PROBABLY MUCH MORE WOULD LIKE TO DATE YOU.
DAVE: gasp
DAVE: karkat
DAVE: are you playing i love you more with me
KARKAT: NO, SERIOUSLY!
KARKAT: HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR PUBLIC IMAGE??
KARKAT: I BARELY HAVE ONE!
DAVE: no i love you more
KARKAT: DAVE.
DAVE: no i love you more
KARKAT: NO *I* LOVE YOU MORE!
DAVE: no i love you more
KARKAT: NO I–
And you close the distance, kissing him and deepening the kiss. He lets you, laughing into your mouth and hugging your neck, which makes you fall on top of him.
KARKAT: –LOVE YOU MORE.
DAVE: pfft
You nuzzle into his shoulder and under his chin, finally exhaling with relief.
DAVE: okay you win ifff
DAVE: you admit that i as a self-sufficient living being with thoughts and a brain am capable of promising you that i wont leave you just because im a fucking human
KARKAT: HEH. OKAY.
KARKAT: I THINK YOU PROVED YOUR LOYALTY BY BEING ABLE TO SQUEEZE A COUPLE OF ACTUALLY ROMANTIC PHRASES OUT OF YOUR SQUAWK GAPER WITHOUT LAUGHING.
DAVE: can i laugh now?
He wraps his arms around you and squeezes, so hard that it makes it a little hard for you to breathe.
DAVE: okay– got it
DAVE: no laughing
He relaxes and lets you go, taking a deep breath.
KARKAT: THANK YOU.
DAVE: for what
KARKAT: FOR BEING THERE FOR ME. ALWAYS.
DAVE: aww well
DAVE: couldnt i say the same
KARKAT: THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME. I UNDERSTAND HOW IRRITATING THIS ENDLESS PESSIMISM CAN BE.
KARKAT: I APPRECIATE THAT YOU PUT UP WITH ME.
DAVE: i mean
DAVE: according to you im irritating literally all the time
DAVE: at least your pessimism is periodic
KARKAT: WORD.
You settle in silence once again while you lie on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. After the TV went out some time ago, the room is almost completely dark. You lie there for a while until you start to feel sleepy.
DAVE: can we migrate under the blanket
KARKAT: SURE.
DAVE: thank god
You reluctantly rise from him to crawl under the covers while he fluffs the pillows, before settling under the covers with you. Without saying anything, you lie down forehead to forehead, and only then exchange quiet goodnights.
DAVE: goodnight
KARKAT: NIGHT.
DAVE: i love you
KARKAT: I LOVE YOU TOO.
You'd say this night was overall productive, further proof that you chose the right partner. You hope he feels the same way.
And of course, he does.