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James noticed but he figured physical touch was a strictly Sirius thing. When Regulus showed up half-dead on the doorstep a year after his brother he tried to help. And in trying brought along a level of comfortability he had with Sirius. Regulus to his credit lasted a few days before he bit James’ head off and told him he needed his brother, not the asshole who stole him. So James reeled his instincts in and instead just tried to be Regulus' friend… that didn’t work well either and James ended up falling in love with him. Luckily for him the role of boyfriend Regulus was very amenable to.
After they got together him, Regulus, and Sirius sat down and talked about Sirius’ overprotective nature and James still needing to help them fix their relationship. Regulus surprised them both by bringing up his jealousy and abandonment issues over Sirius. They stayed up until the early morning hours and came to an agreement so they didn’t hurt each other. They each had their things. Some things were strictly Regulus and Sirius and some were strictly Regulus and James and others strictly James and Sirius things. It worked for them.
So when Regulus would shy away from his touches and tense under his hands he backed off and figured it was a strictly Sirius thing. Then he noticed it wasn’t a Sirius thing. Barty Crouch JR. hung off Regulus like a monkey and Regulus looked completely at ease. Evan Rosier would forcibly move Regulus into potions so he could nap on him and all Regulus ever did was adjust the way he was holding his book. Pandora Malfoy would mess with his hair at her own will and Regulus would hold the clips for her. Dorcas would drag him off to places by the arm and he only ever complained long enough to pack his stuff up and then let her drag him off. But he swallowed his ego and ignored it. He did. Really.
“...mes. James!” Regulus snaps in his face and he jumps and slams his knee into the library table.
“Ouch! Oh hey you.” He smiles brightly and goes to share his excitement with Sirius who… was across the table from him. He frowns slightly.
“Your friends left an hour ago.’ Regulus sits across from him with a hint of worry in his eyes. Which means he’s very worried. ‘Sirius came and got me after you didn’t respond to them. I’ve been here for 10 minutes.”
“Oh.’ He rubs his neck. ‘Sorry. I’m fine. I just got lost in my head I guess.”
“Are you alright? You’ve been off for a few days. Sirius says you go to bed late and get up early. You keep drifting off in the middle of conversations. Something’s keeping your attention.”
James swallows nervously. “It’s fine, I promise. I’m getting over it.”
Regulus looks around the almost empty library and apparently thinks now's the time to let James touch him as he climbs in his lap. “I don’t want you to get over it. I want you to be ok.”
James awkwardly tries to find some place to put his hands. “It’s really not a big deal. I’m just being stupid. It’s my ego, not an actual problem.”
“I’m very familiar with your ego. Tell me anyway. Unless you’d rather discuss this with Sirius or Remus. Or anyone really. You need to talk to us.” Regulus frowns at his still moving hands so he quickly places them on the table.
“I-’ James bites his lip. ‘Why are you touching me?” Is what comes out.
Regulus leans back with a flash of hurt. “I can move.”
“No I mean- you don’t like touching me so why are you touching me now?”
Regulus tilts his head and James waits patiently for him to sort his thoughts. Regulus slowly reaches out and grabs his hand then puts it on his own hip. Immediately James feels him tense and Regulus lasts a second then pushes his hand away.
“Oh. Sorry.’ Regulus fidgets with his rings, still in his lap. ‘I didn’t realise I did that.”
“You don’t.’ He clears his throat and adverts his eyes. ‘At least not for Sirius or your friends.”
“I… don’t know why I do that. I don’t know why this is comfortable.” James can hear the nervousness in his voice and forces himself to look back.
“It’s okay. I promise. I just thought you only like to touch Sirius or something but all your friends are physical with you so I- I thought it was just me.”
“It’s not you.’ Regulus pecks his lips, usually one of two touches that doesn’t make him tense. The other is holding hands. ‘I don’t know why I do it but it’s not you okay?”
James nods and clenches his jaw.
“What?” Regulus shakes his head slightly.
“No I- I really want to hug you right now but even when I give you warning or ask and you say yes you still tense up and look uncomfortable after.”
Regulus frowns then starts packing up James’ stuff. “Come with me.” James tilts his head but follows him all the way back to the Gryffindor common room. It’s unusually empty, or maybe not considering he zoned out for a long time and it’s obviously almost curfew.
James just waits as Regulus disturbs a whispering and cuddling Sirius and Remus by pulling Sirius off the couch. Sirius raises a bemused eyebrow but goes along with it when Regulus shoves him into James’ arms. Regulus then hugs Sirius from behind and puts his hands on James' shoulders. After months of his physical affection having nowhere to go he smiles happily into Sirius’ shoulder as he wraps his arms around his best friend and can feel his boyfriend pushed up against them.
“Is this better than it was?’ Regulus asks quietly. ‘At least for now.”
“This works great.” James hums.
“Sirius would like to know what the fuck this is.” Sirius huffs in between them.
“Sirius can let them do whatever and demand no explanation ever.” Remus counters from the couch.
Sirius huffs again and relaxes a little more as they still haven’t let go of him. “Fine.”
Later that night Sirius easily brings him out of his blissful thoughts with a whack of a pillow to his head.
Regulus starts noticing when his friends and Sirius touch him now. He doesn’t tense and they feel as they always have. Barty’s touches feel like he can breathe and relax. Evan’s makes him calm and feel familiar. Pandora didn’t touch him much except to mess with his hair but it was always gentle and sometimes put him to sleep. Dorcas, who Regulus knew wasn’t a big fan of touch to begin with, only touched him to drag him somewhere or slap him for being an idiot but it never made him uncomfortable. Sirius, well, he just feels like home.
“I tense up when James touches me. He thought it was an issue with him.” He says into Sirius’ shoulder.
“Mmm. Makes sense.” Sirius deftly combs through his hair.
Regulus pulls back and squints. “Why?”
“Well you’ve never really liked people touching you. Before you learned better I remember you used to slap people’s hands away at balls and parties whenever they went to touch you. Most of them laughed it off because you would hide behind me or Mother and Father, so they thought it was cute. Then you just got better at avoiding them. You would let me touch you and Evan, Cissa, Andi, and Bella but other than that you avoided it. The first time I saw Crouch hug you in your second year I honestly thought he was about to get hit.”
“I want to be able to touch my boyfriend without being tense, or making him feel bad.”
Sirius nods and hesitates. “This will probably be information you want to forget and I need you to answer my question truthfully.’ Regulus nods so he continues. ‘Bella never did- how she was with me- she never-”
“No.’ Regulus clenches his jaw. ‘You and Andi never left her alone with me. Sometimes she would look at me oddly but she never…” They both left it unsaid.
“Good.’ Sirius nods. ‘She never fully did well- but when Remus and I first got together and started doing stuff I ended up freaking out one time. Hope said the muggles call it anxiety neurosis. I couldn’t breathe and panicked when he touched me and it was just a mess. From then on we took it really- really dreadfully-’
‘Focus.’
‘Sorry, really slow. We talked about everything and things went better when I initiated everything. It took us a long time to do even little things and we still haven’t reached the finish line, but the more we do the easier the next thing is. I’m not saying it will fix your thing with James but start small, take baby steps and maybe one day you’ll be more comfortable with his touch. But hey.’ Sirius cups his face. ‘Even if you're not James will be okay and still care about you no matter if I have to be in every hug you guys ever have. Okay?”
“I know.’ Regulus nods. ‘I don’t know if I quite believe it yet but I know.”
“Great. Come here.” Sirius pulls him in and Regulus goes home again.
“Hey!’ James jogs down the hall. ‘Hey love.’ He pecks Regulus’ lips. ‘I need your brother.’ He wraps an arm around Sirius and shakes him. ‘We’ve got quidditch practice.”
Regulus stares at the arm thrown over Sirius’ shoulder and it hits him. How much James touches his friends, how he even touches strangers when meeting them, how all three Potters seemed to smother each other with affection over the summer. It isn’t in James nature to hold back from touching people, especially if he cares for them. And he’s been holding back for months because he noticed something about Regulus, something he didn’t even notice himself. He clears his throat.
“Don’t hug back.” James frowns but Regulus hugs him before he loses his nerve and he feels James lift his arm then stop and let it fall back down. Regulus pulls back and gives him a chaste kiss while still wrapping his arms around him.
“Have a good practice.”
James blinks a few times then gets a dopey smile on his face and giggles. “Okay.”
Regulus kisses his brother’s cheeks and heads in the opposite direction of the pitch. He keeps his eyes forward even as James tries to whisper.
“Did you see that?! He hugged me! Not even back! He hugged me first!”
“I saw mate. Good for you.”
“How do I get him to do it again?!”
Regulus sighs into the couch ignoring James and Sirius’ conversation and watching and all the people partying around the Gryffindor common room. He debates climbing into the armchair with Sirius for cuddles but hesitates and looks at his boyfriend. James has his drink in the hand resting on the arm of the couch and his other hand is shoved under his thigh. He grabs the hand next to him and wraps James' arm around himself. It feels heavy and he forces himself not to tense. James stays engulfed in conversation and slowly Regulus can feel himself relax. The longer he stays under James’ arm the less heavy and more comforting it becomes.
“Moony.” Sirius jumps up and meets Remus at the common room door. The full moon was yesterday and Remus wasn’t supposed to be back until tomorrow morning.
“I got tired of the hospital wing.’ Remus kisses Sirius forehead. ‘Can we go upstairs?”
“Of course.” Sirius wraps an arm around Remus’ waist to support him and they both wave as they slowly make their way upstairs.
“Pomfrey kicked us out after dinner and Remus doesn’t like being there alone.’ James looks back at him as Remus and Sirius disappear up the stairs. His eyes widened. ‘Sorry.’ He goes to pull his arm back but Regulus grabs his hand. ‘I didn’t mean to. I must have done it subconsciously.”
He smiles a little and raises an eyebrow. “James. I put your arm there.”
“Oh.’ James smiles brightly and Regulus feels him melt. ‘Okay.”
He lets go of James' hand and goes back to watching people. James tries to sit still but eventually he starts humming a song and bouncing his leg. Regulus just smiles and thinks about how James’ touches make him feel.
Regulus sits next to James in the quidditch stands and kisses his cheek just to see him jump and scream.
“Oh.’ James stops screaming. ‘Hello love.” James kisses his cheek in return.
“What are you doing?” He intertwined their fingers.
“Recruiting. They’re just playing for fun right now.’ James nods at all the first years. ‘But some of them have real talent and don’t know it yet.”
“You know you aren’t picking the team next year right?” Regulus smirks.
“Yesss.’ James scoffs. ‘I’m aware, love. I’m taking notes for my successor, who I still haven’t decided.”
“Well do your boyfriend a favour and make sure they suck?” He gives his most innocent smile.
James smiles back and kisses him softly. “You’re very cute, but no.”
He huffs and wraps James’ arm around his shoulders. James kisses his head and Regulus enjoys sitting there in peaceful silence.
It’s not until he overhears James and Sirius talking later that he realises he sat with James arm around him and didn’t tense up in the slightest bit.
“He didn’t even tense like he normally does. It's nice being able to touch him you know, but I’m mainly just happy he’s comfortable with me.”
“He’s always been comfortable with you Prongs, touch just isn’t his favourite thing sometimes and with people he’s not used to touching it just takes time.”
“Makes sense, I still get to kiss him anytime I want.” He rolls his eyes and tunes them out as Sirius groans.
“Hey.’ Regulus whines and pushes into the hand on his forehead. ‘I think it might be time to go see Madam Pomfrey.”
He blearily opens his eyes to see his brother above him. “Noooo. Siri fix it.”
“I can’t fix it, little one, you’re sick. I’ll stay with you I promise.”
He pouted and shivered. “Fine.”
“Alright. Here we go.” He grunted as Sirius pulled him up and smiled at James.
“Pretty.” He reached out and ran his hand down James face.
James' laugh tinkled in his ear. “Can I touch you?”
He frowned. Sometimes James' touch was good but sometimes it made him want to scratch until he felt like his skin was his again. “You try.’ He slumped into his brother. ‘Always you can try. Always try.”
James smiled softly and reached out to wrap his arm around his waist. He pushed James arm away once it settled on him. “No, again later.”
“Ok love.’ James squeezed his hand. ‘I’ll try again later.”
“Let’s go see Madam Promfrey Reggie. I’m going to pick you up alright?”
“M’kay Siri. I’m tired.” He blinked as he was picked up and the room spun a bit.
“You can nap soon.” Sirius kissed his forehead and he clumsy kissed Sirius’ cheek in return.
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
“Will you just touch me?” He watched Remus play fetch with Padfoot while listening to James’ heartbeat.
James looked down to frown at him. “What do you mean?”
“Just always try to touch me, you realised before I did that I was rejecting your touches. I trust you to know when I do and don’t want to be touched and back off but sometimes I don’t know what I want so I want you to touch me whenever you want to and we’ll see how I feel right then.”
“Ok.’ James smirked slightly. ‘Let’s try.” Regulus jumped when his neck and face was attacked by James’ lips.
“James.’ He giggled and pushed James head away as James continued. ‘You’re such a dork.”
“Your dork.” James kissed him softly.
“Whatever.’ He laid his head back down on James' chest. ‘Thank you. For-’ He sighed. ‘For being you.”
“You’re welcome?’ He snorted at the question in James’ voice. ‘I’ll try to always be me.”
“Good.”
A sudden barking made him jump. He looked over to see Padfoot sprinting toward them.
“Sirius don’t you dare!’ Padfoot ignored him and jumped on them. ‘Sirius!” He tried to push Padfoot's big head away but Sirius just moved onto James.