Chapter Text
Shane had just leaned his head back against the window of the team bus and adjusted his headphones tighter over his ears when he felt Hayden stiffen beside him. He looked to his friend with his eyebrows raised in an are you ok? gesture, but Hayden remained none the wiser, attention still locked on his phone.
Shane had recently gotten into a massive argument with Ilya and was hoping to make it to the arena before having to converse with anyone, but Hayden had been so supportive since finding out about their relationship and Shane was trying his hardest to pay it forward and be a more attentive friend. He gave Hayden’s shoulder a small nudge, assuming that surely would finally get his seat partner to turn and look at him, but the man’s eyes just widened further as he scrolled furiously. Shane sighed and slipped his headphones off his skull to hang loosely around his neck and suddenly became violently aware of the tension within the small space and the unusual silence for a typically rowdy team.
The Montreal Metros were never this quiet, especially on a game day and so close to arriving at the opposing team’s arena. Theriault wasn’t even yelling at the guys to get more excited about destroying California on the ice in a couple of hours, which meant something was most definitely wrong. The Metros’ chirping could only be hindered by an event equivalently catastrophic as world war three breaking out. Shane needed to be a better captain and pay more attention to what announcements were being made instead of zoning out to think about how he had fucked up with his boyfriend.
He tapped Hayden harder and his heart started to pound when the blonde man turned to look at him with nothing but pure fear in his blue eyes.
“What the hell happened?” Shane whispered, almost too scared to ask.
Hayden looked around nervously and gave a minute shake of his head. “I shouldn’t tell you here.”
Shane just stared back. Shouldn’t tell him here? “Hayden I’m freaking out, what is it?” His parents? Ilya? A terrorist attack? A million scenarios were flitting through his mind, but none seemed to make any sense.
Hayden opened his mouth and then immediately shut it once again. “Shane..” he started to say and then stopped, opting instead to gesture incoherently at their teammates around them.
“I don’t know what that means, Hayden, tell me what the fuck happened before I ask someone else,” Shane demanded, his patience finally gone as his anxiety worsened.
Hayden nodded and took a deep breath, as if steeling himself, and then unlocked and passed Shane his phone. As Shane took the device out of his friend’s hand, Hayden leaned over to squeeze Shane’s other tightly.
Ottawa Centaurs Plane Goes Down on the way to Tampa Bay game
Shane stared at the headline. It wasn’t computing. He read it again. And again. And again.
Ilya’s plane had crashed.
Ilya could be dead. Ilya was probably dead. The thoughts repeated over and over in his head like a mantra and Shane suddenly felt like his lungs were being constricted. He distantly heard the sound of his gasps as he futilely tried to suck down air and the sound of Hayden telling him he would be alright while simultaneously rubbing soothing circles onto his back. Shane clawed at his chest, but the feeling of Hayden’s ministrations and the scrabbling of his fingernails over his lungs were quickly dissipating as his body went numb. Then everything went dark.
______________
Shane woke with an oxygen mask attached to his face, Hayden’s hand still rubbing his back, and Theriault staring daggers at him from the aisle. He reached to pull the mask off, but Theriault was speaking before Shane could open his mouth.
“Good to see you’re fine, Hollander,” he said flatly. “I expect you both to join the rest of the team in the locker room for warmups in five minutes.”
“Coach, you can’t be serious,” Hayden exclaimed, his palm finally lifting off Shane. “He just passed out, it can’t be safe for him to play like this.”
“I’m not sure what went down back here, but as captain, I hope Hollander is able to prioritize this team over his own personal matters,” Theriault said threateningly. In any other situation there would be no room for argument, but Shane was not playing around when Ilya’s safety was on the line.
Before Hayden got himself into further trouble, Shane stepped in. “Coach, I’m really sorry but Hayden’s right. I’m not going to be able to play today - I had a personal matter come up,” he choked out. His heart was still about to beat out of his chest and his blood felt like ice in his veins.
“Hollander, if this is about your buddy’s plane crash, please recognize that there is nothing you can do for him at this moment.” Theriault stated, condescension dripping from his mouth as if Shane was a petulant toddler who couldn’t understand difficult concepts.
While Hayden flinched at Theriault’s sharp words as if he had slapped, Shane threw his shoulders back and looked Theriault right in the eyes. He had never seen his life and his coach so clearly ever before. This man fucking sucked and Shane was not about to give up his relationship for him, or for his teammates who a majority of surely agreed with Theriault’s sentiment.
“Ilya’s not just my ‘buddy’, he’s a very close friend of mine and I am his emergency contact so I need to be with him… wherever that is.” Fuck. He was getting choked up. He would not cry while speaking back to his coach for the first time. Shane took a steadying breath and continued. “I love this team, but the health and safety of myself and my friends and family will always come first.” He paused and waited for Theriault to yell, but nothing came. He filled the silence with a small “I’m sorry,” and then was done.
Theriault’s eyes narrowed. It was clear he didn’t expect someone as quiet and obedient as Shane Hollander to defy him and wasn’t entirely sure what to do. “Fine. You’re benched the next two games,” he said simply. “Pike, your ass better be out of this bus within the next two minutes.” And then he turned on his heel and was gone.
As the older man’s figure receded toward the front of the vehicle, Shane hurriedly started to collect his belongings. He needed to get out of California and to Tampa as fast as possible.
“Where are you going?” Hayden asked nervously.
“To Tampa.” Shane said simply. Surely it was obvious?
“I’ll come with,” Hayden offered immediately but Shane shook his head.
“I don’t want you in trouble with Theriault too. You should go play.”
“I don’t think you should be alone right now,” Hayden countered.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine, you just had an anxiety attack in front of the whole team.” Shane cringed at that, opting to not think about it just yet. “I’ll play but please at least let me send Jackie with you, she’s in the arena right now. You’re shaking, man”
Shane then realized he was shaking. And Hayden was probably right that sitting with his morbid thoughts for such a long flight was indeed probably not his best idea. He blew out a breath and nodded. “Alright, I’ll talk to my mom outside and get flights booked while you grab Jackie.”
Hayden pulled him in for a hug and squeezed him tight. “Thank you. And I know Ilya and I argue a lot, but I really do like the guy. He’s strong and I know he’s going to be alright.”
Shane wanted to reply but he didn’t think he could do so without breaking down into sobs, so he patted Hayden’s back lightly and then shouldered his bag.
________
Naturally, he already had eight missed calls from Yuna and two from David which he finally answered as he sat on the curb waiting for Jackie. Yuna picked up on the first ring.
“Oh baby, we just heard the news,” she gasped from the other line. “How are you doing? What’s the plan?”
What’s the plan - he expected nothing else from his mom at a time like this. “I feel like I’m dying, I need to get to him,” he admitted. “Can you book two plane tickets from here to Tampa?”
“Of course, your dad and I will be right behind you,” Yuna reassured him. “I’m glad you’re not alone right now. Who’s the second ticket going to?”
“Jackie. Hayden’s getting her right now and then we’re heading to the airport.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m so fucking scared, Mom.”
There was a long silence and Shane knew the both of them were trying to hold it together for the other. After a few moments his mom’s voice came through. “Ilya’s resilient. He’s going to be just fine. I’m going to work on those flights now, I love you so much Shane. Text me if you need anything or have updates and I’ll do the same, alright?”
“Ok.” Shane agreed and then the call dropped.
_______
Jackie found him crying into his knees on the curb. He had tried to hide himself from passersby behind a large van but he was sure everyone definitely saw him breaking down anyway. Her presence was announced with a hand on his back, just as Hayden had done, and Shane jumped at the touch.
“Oh honey I’m sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,” she said softly and Shane jerked and threw her off.
“Fuck, Jackie I’m sorry. I just … I don’t have time to sit here while you make me feel better, I need to get on a plane.” His heart panged as he saw the confusion on her face, but he needed to get his priorities straight and being comforted right now was not one of them.
She nodded resolutely. “Of course, I would do the same thing if it were Hayden. Do you have tickets to Tampa?”
“My mom is working on it right now. We just need to get to the airport.”
Jackie just nodded again. He loved this woman. She was so calm in a crisis. “Of course Yuna’s on it, I’ll call an uber.”
_________
Shane sat in the back of the uber with a hat pulled low over his forehead and sunglasses strapped over his eyes while texting his mother about logistics. Yuna said there were no flights for hours so she was getting a private jet called and would have the pilot sign a heavy NDA. Shane readily agreed and relayed the message to Jackie. Whatever got them to Florida the fastest. He would strap himself to the plane’s wing right about now if that was the quickest route.
Shane refreshed his phone every five seconds in the backseat to see if there were any updates. He continued to do so in the airport, blindly following behind Jackie and trusting her to get him safely to his destination while his eyes were glued to his Google tab. He panicked when he boarded the plane and his phone wouldn’t immediately connect to the WiFi, but once everything was settled, there were still no updates posted.
He cried a lot on the plane. Jackie tried to engage him in small talk or a game of cards but eventually gave up and politely pretended not to notice the tears streaming silently down his face as he curled into himself in his seat.
They could land and Ilya could be dead. They could land and Ilya could be completely lost in the wilderness. They could land and Ilya could be at a hospital in a different city.
And all Shane could do right now was sit on this plane and wait helplessly for news to break and cry.
________
It felt like days stretched on before the pilot announced that there were twenty minutes left in the flight. Shane let out a soft gasp at the thought of finally being close to Ilya once again and Jackie reached out to squeeze his hand reassuringly. Her and Hayden really were so similar in their mannerisms.
Right after the five minutes remaining announcement was given, Shane’s phone rang. He jumped at the noise and quickly snatched the device off the table. Yuna’s name flashed on the screen and his heart went into overdrive. He could hear it roaring in his ears as he accepted the call and put it up to his ear. Throwing up all over this luxurious jet was not out of the realm of possibility at the moment.
“Mom?” he said tentatively while Jackie sat with bated breath a few feet away.
“Oh Shane, Tampa Bay Mass Gen just called me, they have him. He just arrived via helicopter in critical condition a little bit ago, but he’s alive.”
And just when Shane thought he was finally finished crying, he doubled over and sobbed the hardest he had the entire day. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, thank god,” he said into the phone and he could hear Yuna crying just as hard through the tinny speaker.
“Shane, this is good news, yes?” Jackie asked hesitantly from the seat across from him and he nodded his head furiously. “At … Tampa Bay Hospital…” was all he managed to get out before breaking down once again. Jackie leaned over to envelope him in a hug as best she could while still being seatbelted in and Shane let himself fall into her chest as his mother hung up. Jackie’s hands rubbed up and down his arms as he soaked her shirt in his tears.
“What exactly did the hospital say?” she asked after Shane hiccuped softly and had seemed to calm down enough to be able to converse.
“I don’t know, they called my mom. That was her on the phone.” Perhaps he should’ve asked for a little more detail. The world alive was all that he could really think about in the heat of the moment.
“I thought Hayden said that you were his emergency contact?” she said confused, her eyebrows scrunching up. Shane suddenly remembered the lie he had so confidently told Theriault. Wow, that felt like decades ago. It wasn’t all that funny, but after the stress of the day he couldn’t do anything but laugh.
“No… no I’m not,” he chuckled, leaning away from her and back in his chair. They made eye contact from across the little table and then Jackie was cackling too, her eyes crinkling. The pair descended into Tampa while holding stitches in their sides from laughing so hard. Shane was still absolutely terrified about what the future held, but it felt good to just giggle for a little while.