Work Text:
“Lomedy! Lomedy move!” Flame’s voice was full of fear
His eyes still blurred with tears as he stared out where Lomedy had fallen. Where he vanished. His body falling down and down, away and out of sight.
“Lomedy!” Flame screamed, staring down before letting out a noise of anguish.
He kneeled in front of him, his hands were red, stained red with Lomedy's blood. He had killed Lomedy- it was all his fault he had killed him- Flame had killed him- It was all his fault-
Flame trembled, there was no way, it was.. It had to be impossible. His eyes stared hollowly at his friend, his hands limp and eyes watering with tears again. His smile was gone because there was nothing to smile about when his- his best friend wasn’t coming back. But- but he had to come back because Lomedy WASN’T GONE-
______________________
Flame dodged another sword swinging his axe and hitting someone in the back. It had been the same routine for the past month: wake up, train, deal with bandits, maybe sleep, then rinse and repeat. It was a constant loop for him, his life black at the edges ever since his best friend vanished. Vanished was easier to think of than dead. Lomedy wasn’t dead, just.. Busy. Lomedy was busy getting more farms built, listening to music and taking care of a separate base. A base that Flame could never reach.
Flame dodged again, driving his axe into someone's side and ignoring the scream of pain they let out. Ignore the way it sounded so much like Lomedys. He side stepped the next swing, eyes squinting as he slashed the last bandit down. He stood, surrounded by the bodies of fallen bandits. The squad had put up a somewhat decent fight but Flame knew it was because he was weak. The bandits were nowhere near as good as Wemmbu and Flame had nearly lost. He was weak because he could barely get out of bed in the morning without it feeling like a chore. Could barely swing a sword without being filled with guilt and bitterness. Worst of all, he didn’t feel any adrenaline or excitement to fight.
He was just.. Empty. No real thoughts or passion behind his movements. Like he was disconnected from his normal world.
It was the bitterness that had confused him at first. There was no reason for him to be bitter, he was alive. It took a passing comment from Parrot that had him realize why he felt the way he did. Survivors' guilt. Watching his best friend fall and not being able to help, and.. Almost wishing it was him. He couldn’t look at farms without that feeling filling him. Without missing his best friend without feeling anger. Without the guilt filling him. It was a constant weight that pressed on his chest, making the simple action of breathing hard.
Flame was vaguely aware how much he was worrying Wemmbu, Spoke, and Parrot. They all seemed to know something was wrong and one of them always visited him. They always asked about Lomedy, they did it because they didn’t know. Flame didn’t have the heart to tell them, but at the same time could barely hear the name without breaking down. He knew that if he told them that Lomedy was gone they would be by his side in their own way in a heartbeat. It was something that Flame didn’t want to acknowledge. Lomedy went to a different base and that's all it was.
The thing that made everything harder was none of them had seemed to know how to handle him like this. That's what they were trying to do, to calm him. They thought he would lash out, that just made him more angry. Angry at the world, at his "brothers" and himself. The last thing he would do was lash out. It was something that he didn’t think was gonna be able to happen without crying
“Flame.”
The voice had caught Flame off guard, something that didn’t happen to him often. Normally his hearing picked up the sounds around but he hadn’t this time. His eyes made contact with bright blue eyes and he felt his shoulders lock back in place as he straightened up. Swight stood there, leaning on his sword and staring at Flame with a raised eyebrow. Flame stared at the other like a deer in headlights. He didn’t know what to say, he was lucky the blindfold held firm.
“You look terrible.” Swight’s voice was neutral but a bit of worry slipped through
Flame shrugged, putting his sword back in its sheath, his eyes looking away from Swight, which made him uncomfortable, the memories of their training sessions flashing in his head. Flame had tried to begin to walk away but Swight gripped his arm tightly. Flame looked down at it before looking up at Swight again.
“Let me go.” Flame said, his voice blank, carefully masked
“Expect my surprise when I get a letter from the king about how he needed my help to try and figure out why you weren’t taking care of yourself.” Swight said, keeping a firm grip on Flame’s wrist. It made him angry.
Flame said nothing, his eyes moving to the grass, watching the wind make it dance from how fast the wind blew. Lomedy would’ve liked laying in the grass with him. Flame shifted, he knew his eyes weren’t able to be seen but he really wanted to avoid crying again.
“Talk to me.”
Flame couldn’t force his mouth open. At least he didn’t think he could until he heard himself speak. The words were dull and empty. “I’m fine. Parrot is just over reacting.” Anything to avoid it. To avoid talking about him. To avoid being so. Fucking. Weak. Because Lomedy made him weak-
“I don’t like liars. I’ve told you this before.” Swight said, his eyes scrunching in annoyance and he forced Flame around with a strong force.
Flame didn’t react, which only made Swight more worried. Flame didn’t just let people touch him, let alone let someone touch him and not fight back. Flame blinked annoyed behind his blindfold.
“Yeah no this.. this won’t work.” Swight said to himself “Flame, where's your friend, uh Lomedy.”
That name. That stupid name. Flame tensed at it, his eyes watering under the blindfold. Weak. He was so weak. And yet still, he could hear a broken noise leave him and he felt Swight’s grip tighten on him.
“Flame?”
Flame let out a sob, his legs giving out underneath him and Swight held him up shocked. Flame sobbed, his head resting against Swight’s chest. His hands gripped the other's shirt as he cried, his tail limp below him.
Weak. So fucking weak.
“Whoa- Hey Flame-” Swight sounded taken aback and confused. Swight’s eyes widened and he carefully wrapped his arm around Flame. Flame trembled harder at the hug, his breaths coming in quickening gasps.
“I killed him- I killed him-” Flame mumbled, repeating the words over and over again.
Swight gripped Flame tighter at the mumbled words Flame let out. Swight helped the other towards the trees, kneeling down with the other. Flame continued to cry, his breaths shaky and loud. Tears staining his blindfold and his mentor's shirt. Flame couldn’t stop, he was weak. Weak without him. Just like Flame had known growing the attachment would do this, and yet he just.. Couldn’t help it. He made the friend and he was gone, just like everyone else he knew.
__________
Lomedy breathed slowly under him, his eyes slipping shut. Flame begged, shaking him. Pleading for him to wake up to not leave Flame behind. He heard laughter in his ears, taunting him for crying and yet Flame couldn’t help but sob.
Lomedy was gone.
Mane was right. Attachment makes you weak. Because even with the bandits nearby, Flame didn’t move to fight. Remaining there as small cries left him. Hands shaking and his head buried in his friend's shirt.
__________
Swight had brought him to capitol city, Flame hadn’t had much of a say in the matter, and honestly he didn’t really care anymore. Swight had tried to make small talk but after Flame had cried as much as he had, he said nothing. Swight was clearly curious about the words he had spoken but Flame was done talking.
“Parrot is gonna ask you the same thing. You are aware of that right?” Swight said, nodding to the guard that let them inside the city.
The two walked in silence, Flame not giving a response and Swight giving up. He had done his job and that was to bring Flame to Parrot. Swight wasn’t going to admit he was worried, but he thinks they understood that. They got to the long stairwell and Flame looked away from it. The last time he was here was with Lomedy. They were here to talk with Parrot about the next get together. He knew his older brother wasn’t going to be happy he had been ignoring him. Sue him for dealing with the loss of his friend though.
Swight led the way again and the pair began the long walk up the stairwell, Flame thinking of what to say the entire trip up. By the time they made it to the top, Swight was breathing a little shaky from the steps and Flame was practically heaving. He hadn’t taken his training seriously and he wasn’t sleeping well. That’s what he would say if someone asked, he wasn’t weak. He couldn’t ever be weak again.
“Swight? Flame! Thank you Swight.” A familiar voice that had Flame wincing at the relief he could hear from it.
Swight nodded, smiling politely at Parrot. “I would say anytime but I don’t want to do this anytime soon you know?”
Parrot nodded understandingly “If Theo had been free I would’ve sent him, thank you again for doing this for me.”
“My pleasure Parrot. Feel better soon Flame.” Swight turned around and began the easier trip down the stairwell.
With Swight gone, Parrot stared at Flame worriedly. Flame said nothing, shifting at the gaze and his hands tightening into fists.
“Flame, be honest with me. What’s wrong?” Parrot said, stepping forward and reaching for Flame. This time he did move back, surprisingly he stepped back into a familiar figure.
“Don’t bother Parrot. Me and Spoke found out why.” Wemmbu said, nudging Flame forward.
Spoke stepped in looking terrible. His face is puffy and hugging his arms. Parrot immediately looked at their younger brother with concern. Parrot moved to Spoke asking about injuries while Wemmbu looked down at Flame.
“You didn’t tell us.” Wemmbu said, his voice was confused rather than hurt.
“I didn’t tell anyone.” Flame found his words, it was easier to talk with his twin then the other two. At least Wemmbu had been far less forceful about keeping him under control after everything that had happened.
“Look where that got you.” Wemmbu said, though he wasn’t mean about it. Simply pointing out the fact.
Flame said nothing, letting Wemmbu pull him into a hug. He was rather slow to wrap his arms around Wemmbu but he did. He rested his head on his brother's shoulder breathing slowly.
“I’m fine, Parrot! Lemme go talk to Flame!” Spoke complained, pushing away from Parrot.
Flame shifted slightly remaining in the hug with Wemmbu. Neither acknowledged the hug, unlike the other two, they had a reason for what they did.
“Do one of you three wanna tell me what’s going on now?” Parrot said he was annoyed, likely because he was the eldest and still didn’t know what was wrong.
“Flame do you want-“ Spoke began before Wemmbu cut him off.
“Lomedy is dead.”
Spoke glared at Wemmbu, Flame gripped Wemmbu tighter, and Parrot’s eyes widened in shock.
“What the hell Wemmbu? You didn’t have to be so blunt.” Spoke said, angry on Flames behalf.
“Why didn’t you tell us about it Flame?” Parrot sounded hurt, “Have you been more.. Nevermind.”
Flame knew what Parrot was going to say. Was he going to be more violent? It was always his violence his anger.
“Both of you shut up.” Wemmbu said, angry. “Spoke would you feel okay if Mapicc died? And you Parrot would you be okay if Theo died? No! So stop acting so insensitive."
Both went silent at that and carefully moved forward to hug Flame. Flame shook his head pulling away from Wemmbu and hesitantly removing his blindfold. Blinking slowly and making eye contact with his brothers.
“I- I don’t want to be touched.” Flame muttered
Parrot nodded, stepping back and looked at Flame with pity. Spoke looked guilty and messed with his fidget.
“Why don’t we relax for the night or something..” Wemmbu said awkwardly
“Yeah we can watch something!!” Spoke nodded eagerly, grabbing Parrots hand and tugging the elder to the living room area. “Movie night!!”
Flame moved to follow when Wemmbu stopped him.
“Lomedy wouldn’t blame you for his passing. There’s a reason why you’re alive.”
Flame remained silent for a few more moments before stepping away from Wemmbu.
“You don’t know what happened. You don’t understand.”
Wemmbu tilted his head, his eyes narrowing. “You can tell me, or not frankly that’s up to you.”
Flame clenched his hands. “It was meant to be me. The arrow was in my blindspot.” He gestured to his right blind eye.
“Lomedy took the arrow for you?” Wemmbu asked
Flame nodded, hugging his arms.
“That was his choice. He wanted you to live Flame.” Wemmbu said
“Yeah but now he’s left me alone!” Flame snapped
“Who said you were alone?” Wemmbu mumbled, gesturing to the living room where the other two in the group sat arguing about movies.
Flame stared, eyes wide. It wasn’t.. it wasn’t the same. He didn’t have Lomedy anymore.
“We care for you Flame. I’m never gonna say it a lot but we are here for you.”
Wemmbu led Flame into the room where the other two were. They ended up deciding on Frozen. Night loomed over them and it calmed Flame being between his brother. Spoke began to sing his heart out to the songs, Parrot joining in with the harmony and Wemmbu yelled at them to shut up so he could hear the movie.
Flame.. Flame hadn’t felt this calm since it happened. He could feel his eyes fluttering and his head tilted falling into Parrot’s shoulder as he finally slipped into a calm sleep.