Work Text:
The day that Rocky sends Ryland a piece of “mail” to his dome is the same day that he becomes Erid’s first ever ordained minister.
It's a flat slate of xenonite with the words “Save Date” on the front and “RSVP.” on the back. Nothing else is written on it, but Ryland immediately knows what it is.
“Is this a… wedding invitation?” It's later in the day and Rocky is visiting at the usual time. They're in the house and sitting around the coffee table while Rocky works out how to make his own Rubik's cube.
“Yes. Rocky and Adrian have human mate ceremony tomorrow. Have done research on portable thinking machine, says ceremony very important to human culture. Important for Grace to have human culture. Save date. R-S-V-P.”
Ryland is stunned into silence.
Rocky taps his foot. “You come, question?”
A wedding. A real human ceremony being replicated on Erid. Ryland never thought he would experience a human custom for the rest of his life, but now…
“Rocky… Thank you. Of course I'll go.”
“Good, good. Grace perform ceremony. Grace stand at front of room with Adrian when Rocky walk down aisle. Rocky and Adrian first Eridians to have human mate ceremony. Make history. Make Grace happy. Is good idea.”
“Oh, you're walking down the aisle?” Not like it matters. Rocky and Adrian aren't male or female, Ryland just uses the pronouns affiliated with their names. A human habit that's hard to kick. Rocky happened to get a male name due to being the first Eridian he met, and Adrian got her name from the love interest in the Rocky movies, but there is a distinction in their names that Ryland has been using to assign human names to all Eridians.
For the most part, humans have male, female, and gender neutral names. Eridians have two types of names as well: birth order. Eridians lay two eggs at a time so the siblings can watch each other sleep. The older one will have a harsher click at the end of their names - like Adrian’s - and the younger one's name will slowly fade out - like Rocky's. This is because Eridian parents will typically say their children's name at the same time, so the click at the end of the elder child's name is meant to be a divider for where one name ends and the other begins. Rocky is a younger sibling in his family, though his sibling lives far away, so Ryland hasn't met them yet.
As a result of Rocky and Adrian happening to have different Eridian name types, which he'd already assigned to different genders, he's been giving all elder Eridian siblings female names and younger siblings male names to help him keep track of what role they have in their family units. It's been pretty helpful with his students.
“Yes. Rocky and Adrian no have human gender, so had to choose other defining traits. Human males typically at end of alter. Human males typically taller than human females. Adrian taller, so Adrian at end and Rocky walk down. Is good plan, question?”
“Yes, it's a very good plan. And a very good observation.”
Rocky stands a little taller in pride. “Of course. Portable thinking machine helpful tool. Been learning about human vows. Will write vows for Adrian.” He taps his foot. “Grace, question?”
“Yeah, bud?”
“What word is k-i-s-s, question?”
Ryland taught Rocky the English alphabet so that whenever he encounters a word he doesn't understand, he can spell it out instead of attempting to describe the context. It has been monumental in their attempts to understand each other. In turn, Rocky has taught Ryland which Eridian sounds he's assigned to each letter, so Ryland can “spell out” words he doesn't understand either.
“Uhh, in the context of a wedding, it's when two humans press their mouths together. You can kiss someone anywhere on their body, but the mouth is the most common context. Or the cheek.” Ryland points to each part of his face for added emphasis.
Rocky gives him the Eridian equivalent of a blank stare. “Why press feeding holes together, question?”
For the record, Rocky has the word “mouth” in his vocabulary, he's just choosing to be an ass.
“It's an affectionate gesture.”
“Disgust. Humans susceptible to bacteria and virus. Humans intentionally make affectionate gesture that allows bacteria and virus into body. Do humans want to die, question?”
“No, of course not… Okay, well, maybe sometimes, but isn’t it romantic to risk death for someone you love?”
“Do if necessary,” Rocky taps his foot. “Romantic to live for another.”
Ryland smiles. Rocky got him there.
“Grace perform ceremony tomorrow, question?”
“Of course, bud. I don’t have a license to officiate weddings, but I suppose that doesn’t matter here.”
“Rocky make license.”
And he does. Tomorrow morning, just as a bunch of Eridians show up in Ryland’s dome in their full-body atmosphere suits, Rocky hands him another slate of xenonite that says in big, bold letters: Grace can perform mate ceremony. Is legal.
“Wow, my license came in just in time!”
“Sarcasm noted. Is time go,” Rocky says, getting behind Ryland and nudging him towards the makeshift altar the Eridians set up on the beach. “You at end with Adrian, Rocky walk down to Earth music. Hurry, hurry, hurry.”
The Eridians really did their research - about thirty of them are split between two neatly seated groups with an aisle down the middle. Ryland recognizes them all as the dome’s maintenance team and some of Rocky and Adrian’s close friends. There’s a couple he doesn’t recognize - one in particular looks very similar to Rocky - but maybe they’re engineers who work behind the scenes that he hasn’t met yet. Adrian is waiting at the front tapping her foot. She looks nervous.
“Grace friend,” she says as he approaches. “What Adrian do when Rocky walk down? Human males cry tears of joy in movie. Eridians no cry. What do, question?”
Ryland takes his place a couple of feet away from Adrian. “Whatever you want to express joy.” He does some jazz hands, one of the first real gestures of communication he and Rocky had between them. “How about this?”
“Good, good, good. Will do. Much excite.”
Instead of typical wedding music, Rocky has selected his and Adrian’s favorite Dolly Parton songs to walk down the aisle to, which doesn’t surprise Ryland in the slightest. In fact, he’d be more shocked if Dolly’s music didn’t make some kind of appearance at this event.
The Eridians are sitting down until Dolly's “I Will Always Love You” starts playing, then they all rise and turn like humans would, despite the fact that they have no sensory need to physically turn around.
Rocky walks down the aisle slowly at first, but then he gets impatient and starts zooming. Adrian is doing jazz hands the entire time and the audience follows her lead. When Rocky is beside Adrian, they both look to Ryland - something they do for his benefit since of the whole “no face” thing - to signal that they're ready to begin.
“Dearly beloved,” he starts, reciting his speech from memory. The last time he was at a wedding, it was for one of his college roommates a few years before the discovery of astrophage. “We are gathered here today to join Adrian and Rocky in matrimony.”
The Eridians are all paying more attention to Ryland than the happy couple, but then again, they're only doing this to experience a human tradition, so he's not surprised. He's decided to keep the speech short and leave out any of the traditional religious terminology to keep things simple and easy to understand. Finally, the time comes for them to exchange vows, which is the part that Ryland has been most interested in.
“The couple will now exchange their vows.” He motions to Rocky and Adrian, unsure of who's going to go first.
Apparently, it's Rocky.
“Vow to live long life with Adrian. Vow to research and do science together. Vow to never go to space again.”
Aaaaaand that's all he has to say on the matter. Short, sweet, and to the point. This ceremony is more of an anthropological study for them instead of a real proclamation of love, so it makes sense. Adrian seems to like it, though, which is all that matters.
Adrian taps her foot and begins her vows once all the jazz hands die down. “Vow to live long life with Rocky. Vow to research and do science together. Vow to keep Grace friend alive long, long time. Vow to take care of Grace friend together.”
Rocky does his jazz hands and dances in a circle. “Vow to keep Grace alive together for long, long time!”
It's very touching, honestly, though Ryland does feel like a pet hamster they found on the side of the road. Though, he supposes that to them, that's kind of exactly what he is. He’ll have to do the math later to see if the ratio between a hamster’s lifespan to a human’s is comparable to a human’s and an Eridian’s.
Ryland rolls his eyes. “All right, all right, you may now kiss.”
Obviously, they don't actually kiss, but they do tap the tops of their carapaces together in the same way they do whenever Ryland hugs them.
It has been so, so long since Ryland has been to a wedding, and despite the circumstances, for a moment he feels as though he's back at home surrounded by all of the people he loves most.
But, then again, that's exactly where he already is.
