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Sinners seemed overrated. More stubborn than the imps or other hellborn in Greed, less useful too since they run around screaming every year from the extermination, not to mention they were poor. Eww. Nothing worse than bloody useless bitches that couldn’t even buy his shit. Not that Lucifer let him market much in Pride, the total prick!
Safe to say Mammon doesn’t make it a habit to notice sinners. Those are Lucifer’s domain since he was oh so insistent that he deserved the first ring and the title King of Hell. Still, this one is different. This one is flashy, noticeable, like one of Mammon’s clowns. This one should be his.
If he was in Greed he would be one of Mammon’s clowns! Stuff the little fucker in a jester’s hat and watch him go. It was sure to be entertaining and draw attention, attention that he could profit from!
But no, instead the cunt was stuck in Pride! Ambitions reaching well beyond the first ring, demanding the Sin of Greed’s attention. It’s a feat few sinners even try and fewer sinners succeed at. Yet, here Mammon was watching the flat-faced blue sinner have the audacity to try and hawk his wares in Mammon’s ring. A little competition was the most interesting thing Mammon's seen in centuries. It didn’t matter that the sinner couldn’t physically come down to Greed. Not when he could apparently hire imps to do that for him. Neon blue, shining packages with his bright grinning face on them on every street corner.
Mammon can smell the greed on him. Smell the drive for money in the air, for the empty void of never having enough. Like recognizes like after all. This sinner should belong to him, finally, then maybe someone would understand.
Mammon wants to take him for all he’s worth, rip him apart, and leave the smug smiled outdated techno-bastard dead in one of Greed’s many dumps. Hah, maybe he could sell the guy for parts or let him work with him as a partner finally then maybe he wouldn’t be locked alone in his ring with people that always wanted something from him but would never give him anything willingly, then at least he might be worth something!
The anger bubbles at him, simmering and refusing to go away, when it even disturbs his show annual clown planning Mammon he knows he has to fix this. He hates Pride, but he hates competition fucking more. It itches at his screen. Everything in Greed was his and he wasn’t going to let some uppity sinner get away with this.
The imps waiting in line had scattered when they saw Mammon in all of his eight-legged electrical glory stomping towards the elevators. Mammon jammed his finger into the elevator button so hard it crunched, but eventually the elevator dings and Mammon climbs in. He rides it three rings up right to Pride.
He doesn’t pay much attention after that. There are some screams below him, probably imps or sinners that were too stupid or slow to get out of his way on his march to the royal palace. Lucifer was going to go get this prick for him and make sure shit like this doesn’t happen again.
“Oi,” Mammon calls as he slams on the front door. Lucifer the prick doesn’t respond. “Oi, duck face! I know you’re around her somewhere I wanna talk with you.”
He pounds a few more times but when still no one answers the door he gets fed up and kicks it in. The palace is oddly empty, but still well furnished. It makes Mammon’s heart twist with want. Lucifer would pick the best bloody ring for himself and leave rubbish for the rest of them. It takes him longer than he would have liked to find Lucifer, the King tucked away in a corner of a room, surrounded by vast piles of rubber ducks?
Was Lucifer trying to undercut his manufacturing? The very idea had Mammon bristling. He pocketed one of the ducks. He’d get it over to one of his imps and then he’d show Lucifer what real undercutting looked like!
“One of your little sinners is trying to sell shit in my ring!” Mammon crosses two sets of arms over his chest. Lucifer mumbles something completely indistinguishable and rolls over at his workbench. “Hey, what are you gonna do about it? You’re supposed to handle all these little annoying human soul fuckers till Heaven kills em, yeah?”
When that still doesn’t seem to ring a bell for Lucifer. Mammon teleports in a pop of confetti and green smoke, appearing behind Lucifer with his loud ca-ching sound effect, smirking as Lucifer jumps.
“What Mammon!? What do you want? Can’t you see I’m busy!” Lucifer flails his hands around knocking dozens of multicolored ducks to the floor.
Mammon snorts. “Yeah, really bloody busy. I want him.”
“What?”
“The annoying blue sinner trying to sell shit. I want him.” Mammon repeats. Lucifer blinks at him. His yellow eyes open and close slowly. Fucking great the light is on in Luci’s head but no one is home.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about but it doesn’t sound like my problem,” Lucifer huffs in irritation, his hands reaching for a paintbrush. Oh, that wouldn’t do. That wouldn’t fucking stand at all!
Mammon slams one of his hands down on the workbench, rubber ducks go flying in every direction. “It’s your problem because you decided you just had to have all the sinners for yourself! Now I want this blue one that fucking thinks he can pull some shit over on me. You let me have him or you deal with his shit yourself!” Mammon jabs his index finger into Lucifer’s chest. He’s expecting a fight, a flame up as Lucifer summons his horns and his eyes go red.
Lucifer rolls his eyes and leans out of Mammon’s reach, not even setting his paintbrush down. He lets out a long sigh, as if dealing with Mammon was beneath him. The absolute prick. “Yeah, whatever.” Then he waves his hand, a clear dismissal.
“You can’t just have this punk tempt the imps in Greed to get his shitty technology products,” Mammon whines, “If he’s going to sell in my ring, he’s gonna bloody well pay for it!”
Lucifer smirks, and Mammon knows immediately he’s said the wrong thing. “Can’t I? Temptation is kind of my whole thing. Besides, it must hurt that someone would try to sell a shittier version of your stuff. I wouldn’t know what that feels like at all-- oh wait-- yes I do because you fucking stole my idea for LULU WORLD!”
Mammon rolls his eyes, he’s sick of Lucifer bitching about LuLu Land. If he didn’t want Mammon to make a theme park he should have patented that shit! “Well that was just business, nothing personal, this is politics. You’re supposed to keep the sinners under control, yeah? So if you don’t want to do that, let me have this asshole and I’ll deal with it.”
Lucifer stretches out his wings and stands. He looks far too smug as he watches Mammon. “I’ll have a chat with this sinner, but you have to shut down LuLu Land, deal?” Lucifer sticks his hand out. The absolute bastard. “It’s just business so I’m sure you understand.”
Mammon screeches. His outrage echoing across Pride.