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The cottage has become somewhat of a sacred place, the whole year leading up to these two weeks of uninterrupted quality time. Shane and Ilya were both in such good moods that it didn’t feel like anything could bring them down. Reconnecting in their favorite place in the world was exactly what they needed after a grueling hockey season and demanding schedules and obligations.
They have been there for almost a week now, spending their mornings waking each other up with kisses (or other things), spending afternoons on the water, then evenings by the fire.
Now, they just finished lunch and are lounging in the chairs on the deck, listening to the sounds of the lake and the birds in comfortable silence. Shane is reading his book while Ilya is just soaking up the sun.
Shane suddenly hears a buzzing in his ear and he goes to swat at the source, believing it to be yet another mosquito. What he wasn’t expecting was what felt like a needle poking him in his upper right arm where his t-shirt exposed his skin. He then feels a slight burning sensation.
“Ow, fuck!”
“Shane are you ok? What hurts?” His husband asks in a concerned voice.
“Yeah I’m fine, just got stung by a bee.” Shane reports despondently after spotting the now dead bee on the arm rest of his chair.
“I just have to go get the stinger out of my arm. Can you come help me please? I might need you to hold a light to see.”
One thing about Shane and Ilya, is since they got married and moved in together, everything became a two-person task. Dishes, folding laundry, putting away groceries. It didn’t matter what it was, doing it together just made it better.
“Yes sweetheart let me see it.” He’s on his feet immediately.
They walk into the cottage as Ilya delicately inspects Shane’s arm. He flinches slightly at the contact, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by his husband.
“Shane this is already very red and is swelling. Is this normal?”
Ilya has been lucky enough to have never been stung before, so he has no frame of reference as to what is normal in this situation. Shane tries to recall the time he got stung on his hand when he was nine, but can’t conjure a memory of a reaction this severe or fast.
“I don’t know, I don’t remember it being this bad that time when I was a kid.”
The admission sends a shock of anxiety running through Ilya’s body.
When they get to their en-suite bathroom, Shane sits up on the counter and Ilya turns on his phone flashlight then starts digging through the drawers for their tweezers. It only takes a few moments to pull the stinger from Shane’s irritated skin, but it doesn’t seem to help his symptoms much. In fact, they seemed to be getting worse. Fast.
Ilya freezes when he notices the red flush creeping up Shane’s neck and the way he’s pulling at the collar of his shirt. And the look on Shane’s face was the most concerning of all.
“Your neck is all red. Is it itchy? You are scratching.”
Shane turns his head to look in the mirror. His neck is covered in a red, splotchy rash.
“Oh, uh yeah kinda.” Shane rasps.
He’s clearly trying to downplay how he’s really feeling but Ilya can tell he’s beginning to get a bit nervous.
“Is it possible you are allergic to bees?” Ilya asks.
“I don’t think so? This didn’t happen last time but it’s been a while so I’m not sure.”
Shane’s breathing is getting faster and shorter and when Ilya notices his lips beginning to swell, his stomach drops.
“I think we need to go to the hospital Shane. You are having allergic reaction.” Ilya’s trying to keep his tone calm but firm enough that Shane will listen.
“What? No I’m fine I probably just need to take a Benadryl. We have some here.”
But before Shane can find it in the medicine cabinet he’s coughing then clearing his throat and rubbing at his neck again. He fills the glass he keeps next to the sink with water and tries to gulp it down. But he ends up coughing more and wheezing instead.
“Sweetheart I really think we need to go now. You look like you can barely breathe and it is scaring me.”
Ilya’s about ready to drag Shane to the car whether he agrees to it or not. He pulls Shane gently off the counter so he’s standing on the floor.
“Okay, yeah fine let’s go.”
Ilya’s not sure what’s scaring him more, Shane’s symptoms and their rapid progression or the fact that he didn’t put up more of a fight. He quickly jogs to get their keys, phones and wallets. He makes sure Anya has enough water and makes his way over to the front door where Shane was putting on his shoes in the entryway.
“Ilya, it’s getting kinda hard to breathe.”
Shane’s fully wheezing now, leaning on the wall and looking like he’s getting woozy. He grips onto Ilya but ends up sending them both to the floor with a thud when he loses his battle with gravity.
“Fuck! Shane? Shane open your eyes.”
Ilya is shaking Shane’s shoulders and tapping his flushed cheeks. Shane’s eyes open but they’re very swollen and glassy. Ilya feels sick. Panic is rising in him like bile and his hands are trembling as he lays Shane flat on his back on the floor. Ilya can feel stinging beginning behind his eyes but he can’t let himself cry right now, his husband needs him.
“moy lyubimyy stay awake come on breathe for me.” Ilya says in desperation.
He considers his options. Carry Shane to the car and drive to the hospital like a madman while breaking every traffic law there is? Or call 9-1-1 and hope they arrive in time? Ilya doesn’t think he can drive like this or safely get Shane to the car. He also doesn’t think it’ll help anyone if they get in an accident or get pulled over before even arriving at the hospital.
“Ilya, I-” Shane can hardly speak at this point and Ilya can’t hold back his tears any longer.
“Shhh do not try to speak right now. Just focus on breathing while I call for help.”
Ilya scrambles to get his phone out of his pocket and dials 9-1-1. He pushes Shane’s hair away from his sweaty forehead while waiting for a dispatcher to answer.
“9-1-1 what’s your emergency?” A woman finally answers the phone.
“My husband is having an allergic reaction to a bee sting and he can barely breathe.” Ilya feels like he can barely breathe himself.
“Okay sir, what is your location?”
Ilya rattles off the address to the cottage and hopes the nearest first responders aren’t too far away. He internally curses how private and remote this place is.
“Is your husband conscious?” The dispatcher asks next.
“Yes but barely. He keeps closing his eyes. Please tell them to hurry. I can’t lose him please-“
Ilya’s body has never shaken so much in his life, his head is swimming and it’s a good thing he’s sitting on the floor because he doesn’t think he could hold himself up at this point. He repositions Shane so that his head is in his lap.
“Sir I know it’s very hard but you need to try to stay calm. Keep him awake as best you can. The paramedics are on their way to you and will be there shortly.”
The dispatcher is trying her best but the only thing that could make Ilya feel better would be if Shane miraculously got better right this moment.
“Please stay awake sweetheart, help is coming they are almost here.”
“Okay. My parents-“
“I will call them from the ambulance. Don’t worry about anything right now just stay with me.”
Ilya can’t believe this is happening. He can’t fathom the possibility of losing Shane to a fucking bee. He didn’t even know it was possible to develop a new allergy as an adult. And he’ll be dammed if he lets a fucking bee sting take Shane away from him after all they’ve been through to be together.
The dispatcher is asking more questions about Shane and his condition. Ilyas barely even registering what she’s saying but somehow gets the answers out.
“Where the fuck is the ambulance?!”
Panic has completely taken over. Shane’s still deteriorating with each passing minute. Every second of waiting for help is absolute agony.
“The paramedics are almost there. Make sure your door in unlocked for them. You’re doing great just hang in there a couple more minutes.”
“Ilya. I love you so much.” Shane rasps, hardly above a whisper.
He’s hardly coherent anymore because of the swelling in his tongue and lips and anyone else probably wouldn’t understand what he’s saying. But nobody knows him better than his husband.
“No Hollander don’t you dare talk like that right now. Like you’re leaving me. Because you’re not fucking going anywhere. Okay? We are getting you help then we will come home. Just stay with me. Ya tebya lyublyu.”
He presses gentle kisses to Shane’s forehead and temple and slowly rocks them back and forth.
Just as Shane is about to lose consciousness the front door erupts open. A man and a woman enter the house with a gurney and their kits and immediately spring into action.
“Sir please give us room to work we’re here to help.” The man says to Ilya.
“Is he going to be ok? Please help him I can’t-“ Ilya is nearly hysterical now.
“We are going to do everything we can.” The woman replies.
She administers an EpiPen into Shane’s upper thigh. Then, they’re taking his vitals and saying things to each other that Ilya doesn’t have the mental strength to translate right now.
All he can do is keep his grip on Shane’s hand, grounding himself by running his finger back and forth on Shane’s wedding ring.
The paramedics move Shane onto the gurney and load him out of the house and into the ambulance. Ilya is only one step behind them, immediately reassuming his position of holding Shane’s clammy hand. With his free hand, he calls Yuna and tells her what happened and which hospital to meet them at. His mother-in-laws terrified voice breaks his heart.
“BP is still dropping I’m giving him another dose of Epi.”
Ilya’s blood runs cold at the paramedics words. She had been giving Shane oxygen and inserting an IV for fluids but now she’s getting another shot ready. That can’t be good, right?
“What is wrong? Is he going to be okay? He’s not talking to me anymore.” Ilya says in a shaky voice.
“His airway is compromised and his blood pressure is still low. If the swelling doesn’t improve after the second EpiPen he might need to be intubated.”
A soft sob escapes from inside Ilya. Why
does it seem like the hospital is so far away? How long have they been in this ambulance?why is it so hot in here? It feels like the tight space is getting tighter and tighter.
Finally, Shane’s eyes flutter open. He gasps and seems to get more air than he was able to before. Ilya jumps and immediately puts his face right by Shane’s.
“Shane? You are okay we are almost at hospital. Your parents are meeting us there. You’re going to be ok moy lyubimyy I have you.”
Shane’s eyes look a little panicked at first but he visibly relaxed after Ilya speaks to him and gives his hand a gentle kiss. Shane nods his head slightly so Ilya knows he heard him.
They arrive at the hospital and Shane is wheeled into the emergency department. There’s suddenly a lot more people around them talking about vitals and asking questions. It’s all very overwhelming combined with the harsh lights and strong smell of antiseptics. Ilya is ushered (reluctantly) into a waiting room. And being left alone to think about what’s happened is what finally breaks the dam and he lets himself cry. That’s how Yuna and David find him, head in his hands and shaking like a leaf.
“Ilya! Oh honey, where’s Shane? How is he?” Yuna asks. She and David pull him into a hug. Ilya has never seen the Hollanders look so……frazzled.
“They took him to a room back there. They told me they would update me soon.”
“It’s a good thing you were there son, I’m sure you did everything right.” David tries to comfort his son-in-law.
“It does not feel like enough.” Ilya responds.
“Oh Ilya, you couldn’t have known! Shane didn’t even know. You got help as soon as you could.” Yuna runs a motherly hand up and down his back to try and stop his trembling.
“It just happened so fast.” He sobs.
After what feels like an eternity, a door finally opens and a doctor comes out. He’s about mid 40’s, with a tall, slender frame and wide glasses.
“Family of Shane Hollander?”
All three of them leap out of their seats and rush over to him.
“Yes that’s us. I’m his mother, Yuna, this is his father, David and his husband, Ilya.” Ilya is grateful to Yuna for doing the talking.
“When Mr. Hollander arrived to our emergency department he was in a state of severe anaphylactic shock. After the second EpiPen he received en route in the ambulance started taking effect, his condition began to improve. Although, his blood pressure was still low and his airway was still narrow. But, with more fluids, oxygen, and time for the medicine to do its job he has been steadily improving. We do want to admit him overnight just to be sure the reaction has run its course and to continue to monitor him. But right now we are encouraged by his improvement. We allow one visitor, would one of you like to see him now?”
The relief was nearly enough to bring Ilya to his knees. He takes the biggest exhale of his life.
“Ilya, you go ahead, we’ll wait here.” He hears Yuna say.
“Okay, thank you.”
“Right this way, sir.” The doctor leads him through the big double doors and down the hall to a small room.
“Thank you.” Ilya manages to squeak out before the doctor is off to see to another patient.
He tentatively opens the door and tiptoes into the room. Shane looks so….small. All of the monitors and the nasal cannula combined with the hospital gown and small bed just make his big, strong hockey player husband look fragile. But he looks better. Not as red or swollen. He even gives Ilya a small smile when he sees him come in. Ilya rushes to the left side of Shane’s bed where there is a chair for him to sit in. He grabs Shane’s had again and gives it another kiss while being careful of the IV.
“Hey, there you are. I missed you.” Shane sounds exhausted, like he ran a marathon exhausted.
“I’m here, I won’t go anywhere. How do you feel sweetheart?”
“Hmm tired mostly. Still a bit itchy. Have a headache but I’m fine, really.”
“Shane you almost died on our floor you are not fine.”
“I’m sorry I scared you.” Shane cups one side of Ilya’s face and wipes a tear away with his thumb.
“No it’s not your fault. Is stupid bees fault. I am going to make sure no bee ever even thinks about flying near our house again.”
“Heh, what are you going to do? Put the dead body of the one that stung me on display as a message to all the other bees?”
“If I have to, yes.” Ilya sounds dead serious but he’s glad Shane is up for a little light joking.
“You are tired. I will stay with you while you rest. I will also text your parents, they are in the waiting room.”
“Okay, thanks. Love you.” Shane says sleepily as his eyes close.
“Love you more.” Ilya kisses Shane’s forehead as he drifts off to sleep.
Later, Shane is settled into a room for the night and his parents come to see him. Nobody can believe this has even happened still.
“It’s just crazy. I had no idea you could get new allergies in adulthood.” David says.
“Yeah me neither. I guess I’ll have to be more careful when I’m outside now.” Shane hates that he’s going to have to be on the lookout for bees for the rest of his life.
“Oh don’t even worry about that. Ilya is already looking up companies to look for and or remove any hive on the property. At the cottage and back in Ottawa. The next bee that so much as looks in your direction will be sorry when Ilya catches it.” Yuna chimes in.
“Yeah that sounds like him.”
Ilya returns with the terrible hospital coffee he went to find and reassumes his place in the chair next to Shane’s bed.
“Well, we should get going. Visiting hours are ending right about now. Get some rest son, we’ll take care of Anya for the night.” David says.
“Thanks for taking her.” Shane says.
“Don’t mention it. We’ll be back with fresh clothes for the both of you before you’re discharged. Sleep well, we love you. Goodnight Ilya, we love you too.” Yuna gives them both quick kisses on the cheek.
“Goodnight. Thank you.” Ilya loves having a family. People who want to be there when you need them.
The Hollanders leave without even trying to convince Ilya to go home. They knew it would prove to be fruitless. Ilya was exactly where he wanted to be, right by Shane’s side in an uncomfortable hospital chair.
“You don’t need to stay, really I’m fine.”
“People who are fine do not need to sleep in the hospital. I’m staying right here.”
“Okay, just don’t fall asleep sitting up. That’ll kill your back.”
“Do not worry about me. Go to sleep, I will still be here when you wake up.” Ilya can’t believe his husband is still trying to take care of HIM in this situation. He softly kisses Shane’s puffy lips and pets his hair as he drifts back to sleep.
In the morning, Shane is pushing his scrambled eggs around his plate while Ilya tries to convince him to actually eat it.
“Babe, these eggs are like rubber.”
“Don’t care. You need your strength.”
Shane fondly rolls his eyes as he takes another bite.
“Hey um, thank you by the way, for…everything. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I was alone-“
“No shut up you do not need to thank me for anything. I know you would do same for me. And you will never be alone. By the time we are old you will be so sick of me.”
“Never.”
Before Shane is discharged, the doctor comes back in to report that he’s recovering well but to take it easy for the next couple of days. (Ilya knows enforcing this won’t be an easy task for himself.) And the Hollanders come back once visiting hours begin and bring clean clothes, chargers, and decent coffee.
By early afternoon, Shane is sent on his way with a new EpiPen and an appointment made with an allergist. Ilya knows he’s hovering in the parking lot, in the Hollanders car, and even all the way to the couch back at the cottage. But he can’t help it, he nearly lost Shane just yesterday.
“Ilya, really you don’t need to do all of this I’m okay I promise.” Shane says after Ilya adjust the couch cushion behind his head for the third time. His parents left a little while ago to give Anya one last walk before they bring her back home to them.
“I know you are. I just- I don’t know. I was so scared. I need to make sure you stay okay.” Ilya looks away so Shane doesn’t see him tear up, but of course it doesn’t work.
“Hey, come here. Lay with me.” Shane scoots over on the couch and wraps his arm around Ilya as he settles his head on Shane’s chest.
“You’ve taken such good care of me. Just relax for a minute.”
Ilya forces himself to take a deep breath. He listens to Shane’s breathing and his heartbeat as he snuggles in closer.
“Ya tebya lyublyu.” He says as he places a kiss to Shane’s chest over his hoodie.
“Ya vsegda budu tebya lubit.” Shane replies.
Later, Ilya will bug Shane about staying inside until they are one hundred percent certain that there are no bees within the vicinity. He will also not let Shane get up to get a single thing for himself. Shane will roll his eyes but also enjoy being so loved. But for now, they stay cuddled on the couch, exchanging kisses and reassurances. The tension of the last twenty four hours releasing, and being replaced with the relief of not losing this.