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It starts when Lip finds Anna’s romance novels. He sort of understands the appeal, stimulation of the mind and body through suggestion or whatever, but overall it’s a girl thing and he’ll stick to his good ol’ porn mags, thank you very much. But out of purely academic curiosity, he opens what he thinks is the first volume of Fifty Shades of Grey and finds he may have more in common with his sister than he thought.
“I may have to borrow this sometime,” he tells her later. Anna throws the book at him in return, cutouts from Playboy previously tucked so neatly in the book littering the floor. It’s a shitty book, she informs him, but all the girls are reading it, so.
“But really,” he says, “who have you gotten head from?”
“Besides my boss?” Anna says, flushing slightly, “um…Karen.”
“My girlfriend,” Lip deadpans.
“She’s not your girlfriend,” Anna rolls her eyes, “and she’s kind of a slut, sorry to break it to you.”
-
Anna and Mandy have been friends since what feels like the beginning of time, so it’s a little odd to find Mandy storming out of the Gallagher house mid-scream.
“Lover’s spat?” Lip asks.
“Ew,” Anna wrinkles her nose, “she’s like my sister. That would be like getting with Fiona. We just…had a fight. It’ll blow over soon.”
“If you say so,” Lip hums, “oh, and I’m pretty sure the internet wouldn’t object to you and Fiona by the way, at all.”
Anna groans and covers her eyes. “Get the fuck out.”
-
Mandy might show attitude and legs and you might call her a bitch for it every now and then, but Anna takes it all back when she’s face to face with Michaela’s full on biting and scratching fury.
“I’m warning you, bitch!” she screeches as Anna traps herself in the backroom. “Don’t you fuck with my sister’s man!”
Are you serious? Anna thinks, wondering why she’s attracted to girls at all if they get this catty.
That evening, Anna sees Lip with a broken nose and black eye and feels extraordinarily guilty. No doubt the Milkovich brothers got involved as well.
“Would you care to explain,” Lip asks, exasperated, “why Michaela Milkovich is out for your blood?”
“I’d rather not,” Anna says.
“Try me.”
“…Mandy has been trying to get me to hook up with this guy for ages,” Anna finally admits. “I finally told her to fuck off, and…yeah.”
“Did you explicitly say, ‘fuck off’?” Lip asks. Because that’s a dangerous thing to say to a Milkovich.
“Actually, it was more like, ‘you can’t choose who I fuck or who I like so why don’t you stop trying to control my fucking life’”
Lip has a look of pity on his face, like he’s sorry but he knows Anna will be dead by the end of the week.
“And now apparently she’s got Michaela and her thug brothers thinking I slept with her boyfriend. Who, for the record, she never really liked that much anyway.”
“You know you could always…you know…jerk the poor guy off. Call ‘em off.”
“Do you like grabbing other guys’ junk?”
“Okay point taken.”
-
“Gay?” Mandy asks, eyes now wide with comprehension. “Like, lesbian gay? Like you scissor and stuff?”
Anna would roll her eyes if she weren’t so nervous. “Yes.”
“That’s why you never like to talk about boys? I always thought you just hadn’t met the right guy yet.” Suddenly, Mandy makes a face. “Oh God, you’re not into me, are you?”
“I said I’m gay, not gross,” Anna teases, to which Mandy bonks her on the head playfully.
“I’ll tell my stupid siblings to lay off,” Mandy promises, “but okay, how does it even work? I mean, what the fuck is scissoring?”
-
Anna just wants the gun back. She should have remembered that Michaela loves to turn everything into a catfight, pulling on Anna’s hair and snatching the crowbar out of her hands. It isn’t until she’s got Anna on her back with her chest straddled that Anna realizes that Michaela sleeps commando, and holy shit she feels it and it’s kind of hot.
All Michaela has to do is rip off her t-shirt and she’s naked. She’s the tattoo and piercings kind of sexy, her face sharp like a snake and hair messy and black and all over the place. Anna is too turned out to take the backseat on this; the moment Michaela gets all her clothes off she flips them over and pins her.
“Shit, God,” Michaela whimpers as Anna bites down on a nipple. For someone so dominant in life she turns into a puddle surprisingly easily under Anna’s hands. Grinning, she spreads the girl’s legs and dives in tongue first. “O-o-oh holy crap!”
Anna holds down Michaela’s hips and lips and sucks and doesn’t let her fuck her face until she’s coming. That’s when they hear Terry yelling, “Are you making all that noise, I’m trying to fucking sleep!”
“Shit,” Michaela hisses, and throws the covers over them both. Anna waits with baited breath, head still between Michaela’s legs as Terry admonishes her for sleeping naked (again, apparently). She could do something really evil here, if she wanted. But, as she values her life, she waits for Terry to leave.
“Ew, don’t kiss me with all that shit on your mouth,” Michaela snaps, pushing her away. “Here’s your fucking gun back. Now get out of my house.”
-
Anna and Mandy might be best friends, but there are a lot of things they don’t tell each other. For instance, how Anna’s favorite new hobby is going down on Michaela. Or how Michaela has a tramp stamp that somehow manages to not look trashy with roses sprouting out of a pistol. Or how Michaela really likes getting her hair pulled and nipples pinched and Anna can’t go a day without thinking how wet it gets her—
“Dude, are you even listening to me?”
Anna jumps a little. They’re doing homework on the Milkovich couch, Michaela also there but generally ignoring them in favor of shooting enemy soldiers in COD. “What?”
“I’m going out with a guy this weekend.”
“Have fun. Wear a condom.”
Mandy sticks her tongue out. “Ugh, it must be awesome to not have to worry about birth control and shit. Anyway, he’s got a sister, if you wanna come.”
“What, like a double date?”
Michaela stiffens visibly, but doesn’t say anything.
“It might be fun,” Mandy shrugs. “She’s kinda hot…God, that’s so weird for me to say.”
Anna’s about to say she can’t, that she’s sort of seeing someone even though that someone hasn’t even kissed her on the mouth once, when Michaela simply stands up and storms off. She swallows her words then and says sorry, but she’ll be back in just a sec.
She finds Michaela out back, getting ready to shoot targets under the El.
“Hey,” she says over the sound of bullets and oncoming trains. “Hey!”
She’s met with silence.
“What is up with you?” Anna demands, a question she wishes she would ask more often because she rarely understands that at all.
“Why are you acting like a lesbian?”
“Uh, because I am.” Anna has never heard such a stupid question before.
“It’s not real, you know,” Michaela half-mumbles.
“The hell are you talking about?”
“Fucking girls is fucking girls, that’s it,” Michaela says. “You don’t go on dates, you don’t get married, you fuck girls ‘cause it’s hot and it makes guys hot.”
Anna feels like she’s swallowed something ugly. “What, so you’re saying I’m just a fun time? That I don’t actually matter to you?”
“When did I ever pretend to give a shit about you?”
“If this is about the date—”
“This isn’t about shit,” Michaela snarls. “I’m sorry you think you’re gay and I’m sorry you think you’d have a good life with some ugly dyke who looks more like a dude anyway. But gay is for the faggots and fairies that get offed by AIDS. You’re not gay, you’re just bored.”
Anna can’t believe what she’s hearing. Mandy never sounded this messed up. Then again, Mandy was never conflicted about her sexuality.
“If we were guys,” Anna says slowly, trembling a little, “you wouldn’t think we were fake.”
“If we were guys,” Michaela scoffs, “first, that’d be fucking gross. Second, my dad would kill you before you even took your pants off.”
Anna doesn’t know what to say to that. Just goes inside, tells Mandy she feels sick and doesn’t want to talk about it. But sure, she’ll go on that double date. What has she got to lose.