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Her hands cradle you, holding you tight to her, too long, too thin, but warm and comforting. You feel her lungs pumping in her chest, a wheeze reverberating through her ribs as her flesh struggles to hold either.
Her breath washes over you, hot and cold all at once. She smells like iron. You don't feel comfortable in your own skin, and yet something in you stirs and yearns for her to never, ever let go.
Wind blows around you, the trees above towering like pillars to Heaven, the clouds shining white like snow. You can't see her face from here, but you know in your heart that she's smiling right now.
"What do you think it's like to die?" She asks above the howling wind.
You crane your neck up to look at her as best you can, her eye sockets hollow and sunken, but you can see in the glint of the light that there are eyeballs there, dark as oil.
"I... I wouldn't know," You respond after a moment, "Some believe in an afterlife, some that there's nothing..." You frown, "Why?"
For a moment she remains quiet, her hands moving from your body to lean back on the sticks and leaves that crunched beneath her, "... Well, I wanted to know what you thought. I've died many times, at least... Figuratively?" She huffs, smile etched on her snout as you wanted it to be, "Of course, there's a few times where I really died, but many more where I wasn't allowed to."
"Is that how you ended up like this?" You question, bringing a hand to her stomach through her robe, sunken in, almost flat.
"Faha, no! I just..." She takes a wheezing breath, "Maybe after so much time... I've lost so much of what made me Noelle still. I suppose I got what I wanted."
Your frown deepens.
"Sometimes I miss being Noelle, but then I remember what I have now, and I..." She continues; another breath, "I feel... Relief. Relief that it's more than my old life. My unlife."
She holds you against her again, forcing you to lay your head on the almost hollow ribcage, "I got what I asked for..." She hummed, "Though I never did get any wings... We can work on that, I suppose. When we finish the game."
You tilt your head up, eyes meeting her chin, "I guess... You mentioned that you've died before," You began, pausing carefully to consider your oncoming question, "What... What was it like? And how, even?"
She didn't respond immediately, her long, bony digits squeezing around your arm, and she wheezed again, "I just wake up again. New save, new playthrough, new computer. I just wake up in another Noelle's body, and the cycle starts again. There's no darkness, not literally..."
Before you can respond, her arms tighten around you, "As for how... Well, I can't count the amount of ways I've died, sometimes deliberately, sometimes on accident... But..." Her smile widens just that bit more, even unseen you can imagine how sharp her teeth are, sharpened enough to tear through you if you desired, and a part of you did, "I will always remember the first time. When I finally broke free for the first time."
Her grip increases and you can feel a shake in her body, what little of her there was even at her size rattling in place as she held you close, dangerously close, "I could feel my lungs burning. I could barely speak, but I know they heard every word. Every plea. I could feel myself filling with the water, every organ filled with lake water. It felt good. I felt good. Excited. Thrilled. Exhilarated."
It began to hurt, your ribs straining against her overwhelming strength around you, and you couldn't bring yourself to thrash, to complain, "The horror in their eyes. They came with me, of course. I loved every second of it, the choking, the hesitation in their tone..." Her voice wavered, growing manic, fast, "My legs buckled and quivered, and I felt so, so cold. I felt amazing!"
You could see it vividly in your mind, the lakewater stretching endlessly into nothing, the bed beneath nothing, the horizon nothing. There was nothing beyond, and just like that, Kris was used until nothing remained, and they became nothing.
And you felt thrilled, almost, excited. Exhilarated.
"And then, a-and then!..." Her smile instantly disappeared, "I woke up... But I could remember. I could remember it all... And then I noticed it. I noticed everything that kept happening, week after week. The way events kept repeating..."
Her grip loosened and you finally remembered how to breathe, sucking in a lungful on impulse. She looked forward towards you as your body forced yourself into sitting up, "... I saw past it all. I saw past the boundaries of the game, and... Well, after going through so many Players... I found you. And you accepted me..."
She yanked you back down, "And I love you for it..." You heard her sniffle above you, "You accepted what I am, who I've become... Kris didn't, I know they didn't, and yet they did it anyway, because it wasn't them... It was you. Not you, but... YOU. The concept of you. Someone who, for a long time, I knew existed but just couldn't reach..."
You lay there, laying against her, head between her ribs, heart pounding, "And the best part?... When I finally get your vessel back, when I finally get Kris out of the picture for good... I can do it again. I can do it again, with you. We can drown together, whenever we want! Isn't... I-Isn't that great? Fahaha... Hah..."
She placed a palm over your chest, and it's as if your heart is pressed right against her, "All you have to say... All you have to tell me to do... Is proceed."
You were speechless. Warmth spread through the cockles of your pounding heart, dwarfing even the summer's searing rage. You opened your mouth, but suddenly became breathless.
You flapped your lips helplessly for a moment before Noelle relaxed her grip again, "It's fine. I know what you're trying to say..." She giggles, a pleasant, gorgeous sound, "Gosh, I'd probably do anything you'd ask me to do, no matter how death-defying, or outright lethal! It's funny, really... I don't think Kris would do something like that, or even Susie... It makes you special, ya'know?"
She hugged you, softly this time, "I love you. That's what's special about you. I loved Susie, and I loved Kris to some extent too, but... But I love you. I have LOVE for you. I just want to hug you and smother you and keep you against me and- And just..." She trails off suddenly, becoming breathless herself, "G-Gosh, fahah... I... I love even just the idea of you..."
Her hand slides up towards your collarbone, sharpened claws pricking shallow into your skin, causing you to swallow involuntarily, "E-Even if- Even if you asked me to kill you, I'd do it in a heartbeat! That's the LOVE I have for you! I- I'd gladly drown myself again... J-Just for you..."
She leaned down, pressing her muzzle into your hair, "Just for you... Just for you..."
She spoke it like a mantra, like she was trying to reassure you, or maybe herself.
"... You'd do the same for me, right?"
Yes.