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Happy Pride, from Pride Tape!

Summary:

Pride Tape is running a Pride Campaign for new tape designs with the help of professional and college athletes. Twitter always has something to say.

Pride Tape ✔️@pridetapeofficial
We’ve heard your cries! It’s in the works #trust

LP | Ottawa Centaurs ✔️@lapointe
Hey ma, look! I’m on ESPN
↳ Quote Tweet
| ESPN ✔️@espn
| Ottawa Centaurs defenseman Montgomery LaPointe comes out…

Ilya Rozanov:
Can one of the children explain to me what a “Rozapike” is?

Notes:

**Note: Can be read as a standalone! Three will come in handy later, but I’ll link it when the time comes!

Updates every Friday!

This is the first fic where I’ve written most of the chapters before posting. The only reason being I needed to make sure my timeline was secure across all parts. And you know what? April is a limitless void that can have 45 days in it if I so please. So don’t think too hard about the timeline.

This evolved in ways I never thought would occur. I didn’t think Nora and Shelby would get as much fleshing as they did, but they gained a mind of their own so who was I to say no?

As always, a good portion of the usernames are taken from lovely donors from the Game Changers Library Server so I didn’t have to think of 100 different usernames. That was greatly appreciated guys! That means, however, nothing the Twitter user says is a true reflection of the real account owner. I’m borrowing their names and nothing else! That ALSO means while there are many repeats from Reparations, they are not the same characters.

I will say it once more: This is readable as a standalone! Thank you my my moots who read it for me! Thank you to my other betas for sticking through this with me. And, of course, special thanks to Carken who was legitimately my rock through all of this. DEFINITELY couldn't do it without you.

Okay. This author’s note got long. Enjoy the fic!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: It’s in the works #trust

Summary:

Ottawa Centaurs ✔️ @centaursnhl
Playing Boston tonight 👀 Who’s in? ~ 8pm EDT

salem !! no1 shane defender @witch_trials
Replying to @centaursnhl
Y’all are so unserious 😭

nini @hollesbianov
Replying to @centaursnhl
Completely just ignoring the fact your player had to come out as straight AGAIN

hunter | harris drover sniper @ meterokinesis
Replying to @hollesbianov
Harris probably told Censmin to ignore the babies unless someone is dead, dying, or got arrested. For their own sanity

TJ @tjscott978
Replying to @ meterokinesis
Honestly good for them. It’s solid engagement

Notes:

This is March 2022.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Pride Tape ✔️@pridetapeofficial 

We’ve heard your cries! It’s in the works #trust

 

   Sunless @sunlessgarden

   Replying to @pridetapeofficial

   OMG REALLY? 

 

~~~

 

(not) Shane Hollander @freckledroz

NEW TAPE? Guess what you think they’ll be!

Quote Tweet 

    | Pride Tape ✔️@pridetapeofficial 

    | We’ve heard your cries! It’s in the works #trust 

 

   Riley | Lacrosse @kittleimp

   Replying to @freckledroz

   If I don’t get my bisexual stick tape soon I AM going to McFucking LOSE IT

 

   Nora Bates | ASU #22 ✔️ @norathrowsballs 

   Replying to @freckledroz 

   🤲lesbian tape please🤲 @pridetapeofficial 

 

   Pride Tape ✔️@pridetapeofficial 

   Replying to @norathrowsballs 

   Check your DMs! 

 

   Shel-B @youngerandhungrier 

   Replying to @pridetapeofficial 

   Oh worm?

 

   Nora Bates | ASU #22 @norathrowsballs 

   Replying to @pridetapeofficial 

   Hell yeah!

 

~~~

 

Sera | Queer Sports Historian @imaginarycolour 

Were we… supposed to see this? 

 

[Image Description: Screenshot of a tweet by Pride Tape and subsequent retweets.

Pride Tape ✔️@pridetapeofficial

We’ve heard your cries! It’s in the works #trust

 Retweets (1.7k)

| Scott Hunter ✔️ @scotthunter 🔁 Pride Tape ✔️@pridetapeofficial

| Captain Ilya Hollander-Rozanov✔️ @rozanov.i.81 🔁 Pride Tape ✔️@pridetapeofficial

| Samwell Men’s Hockey ✔️ @sm.hockey 🔁 Pride Tape ✔️@pridetapeofficial

| Arizona State Softball ✔️ @softballatasu 🔁 Pride Tape ✔️@pridetapeofficial

| Ottawa Centaurs || NHL ✔️ @centaurshockey 🔁 Pride Tape ✔️@pridetapeofficial

| PWHL Ottawa Drive ✔️ @pwhlottawa 🔁 Pride Tape ✔️@pridetapeofficial

End Description.]

 

   SMH Enthusiast @wellieshole

   Replying to @imaginarycolour 

   Awwww the Wellies are getting involved? I love you gay hockey

 

   Charlie @whatthepuck

   Replying to @imaginarycolour 

   PWHL Ottawa fork found in kitchen or whatever lmfao

 

   Sarah @sarahjeann

   Replying to @imaginarycolour 

   Arizona State is interesting?

 

   I ❤️ Women’s Sports @livelaughlesbian 

   Replying to @sarahjeann 

   Their team captain Nora Bates is openly lesbian! Her and her girlfriend (Shelby Young, also on the team) have a big social media presence. I don’t know the hockey guys though

 

   Cens Rookie Lore [Bergy Follow!] @babycens 

   Replying to @livelaughlesbian 

   Yeah! And Shelby’s brother is Kaleb Young of the Ottawa Centaurs. It’s funny that they’re both hypothetically involved! 

 

   I ❤️ Women’s Sports @livelaughlesbian 

   Replying to @babycens 

   Oh haha that is funny! Is he, ya know, 💅?

 

   Cens Rookie Lore [Bergy Follow!] @babycens 

   Replying to @livelaughlesbian  

   Not for a lack of trying! 

 

   Charlie @whatthepuck

   Replying to @livelaughlesbian

   LMFAO that poor man had to come out as straight

 

   I ❤️ Women’s Sports @livelaughlesbian 

   Replying to @whatthepuck

   Omg really??

 

   Sera | Queer Sports Historian @imaginarycolour

   Replying to @livelaughlesbian

   I remember that!! Young was drunk as shit after their first win with Hollzy and got a bit close with some guy at the bar. TMZ was having a blast with it.

 

   Sera | Queer Sports Historian @imaginarycolour

   Replying to @imaginarycolour

   Instead of taking it to heart, Kalezy, Bergy, and LP (I think Haasy was filming?) held a funeral for Kalezy’s homosexuality. Let me find the video!

 

~~~

 

Sera | Queer Sports Historian @imaginarycolour

@livelaughlesbian @whatthepuck @babycens - The video I was talking about it’s SO FUNNY! And yeah, Haasy was the one filming!

[Video Description: Three figures (Holmberg, Young, and LaPointe) are standing in a dark room. They are holding electric candles and wearing black cloaks. The camera moves to the floor where a scrap of notebook paper saying Young’s Homosexuality is laying, surrounded by more electric candles. There is faint giggling by two of the figures, and a shush, before the leftmost (Holmberg) figure starts to speak:

 

Holmberg: Dearly beloved-

 

LaPointe: Man that’s what you say at the beginning of a wedding, not a funeral.

 

Holmberg: Does it look like I give a fuck? Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of one Kaleb Young’s homosexuality. 

 

LaPointe: Gone too soon, but never forgotten. 

 

Haas: (from behind the camera) Mostly because it didn’t exist in the first place. 

 

Young: Shush! Leave my dead homosexuality alone, Haasy! 

 

Holmberg: Kaleb Young, do you have a few words?

 

Young: I do. Maybe, if TMZ didn’t get involved, we wouldn’t have to be saying goodbye. We tried, but I am truly, truly straight. 

 

LaPointe: It’s a sad day for Ottawa fans everywhere. 

 

Haas: (from behind the camera) You guys are ridiculous. 

 

Young: Stop shit-talking my nonexistent homosexuality. 

 

Holmberg: Rest in peace, Kaleb Young’s homosexuality.

 

The trio breaks character, cackling, and there is a long sigh from Haas from behind the camera. 

 

End Video.]

 

   I ❤️ Women’s Sports @livelaughlesbian 

   Replying to @imaginarycolour

   This is the funniest shit I’ve ever seen

 

   Charlie @whatthepuck

   Replying to @imaginarycolour

   And to think one of these guys was Rookie of The Year

 

   Cens Rookie Lore [Bergy Follow!] @babycens 

   Replying to @imaginarycolour

   I love men comfortable in their sexuality 

 

   Luca’s Lover @haasybaby

   Replying to @imaginarycolour

   My antagonistic muffin Luca Haas ❤️

 

   Jack | Nerd Ilya Truther @jackofsaph

   Replying to @imaginarycolour

   He does so lovingly

 

~~~

 

Shel-B @youngerandhungrier 

Only my brother would not only host, but FILM AND POST a funeral for his homosexuality that never existed. Not a slow day in the Young family

Quote Tweet 

    | Sera | Queer Sports Historian @imaginarycolour

    | The video I was talking about it’s SO FUNNY! And yeah, Haasy was the one filming! …

 

   Sera | Queer Sports Historian @imaginarycolour

   Replying to @youngerandhungrier

   Girl I’m so sorry for digging this one back up 😭

 

   Nora Bates | ASU #22 @norathrowsballs 

   Replying to @youngerandhungrier

   When they say “boys will be boys” THIS is what it should mean

 

~~~

 

The Ungays

 

Haas

@Young your funeral is trending again

 

Young

Ik Shelbs retweeted it 😅

And that was six months ago! God forbid a dude have a bit of whimsy

 

Bergs

Man what a night

 

LP

TMZ had no idea what to do with you after that

 

Young

Never let them know your next move 😎

 

Bergs

@Haas why is it trending again

 

Haas

I think someone did a throwback? Idk

 

Young

Hold on

 

~~~

 

K-Leb ✔️ @youngandhungry

Sorry guys. Still straight. Love the enthusiasm though 👍

 

   Cens Rookie Lore [Bergy Follow!] @babycens 

   Replying to @youngandhungry

   I CRIM

 

   I ❤️ Women’s Sports @livelaughlesbian 

   Replying to @youngandhungry

   Wait how did he know we were talking about this?

 

   Charlie @whatthepuck

   Replying to @livelaughlesbian 

   He’s 22 years old. He’s chronically online. 

 

   Shel-B @youngerandhungrier 

   Replying to @youngandhungry

   Love is love, brother mine. For straight people too, I guess

 

   K-Leb ✔️ @youngandhungry

   Replying to @youngerandhungrier

   Ouch Shel 😔

 

~~~

 

Ottawa Centaurs ✔️ @centaursnhl

Playing Boston tonight 👀 Who’s in? ~ 8pm EDT

 

   salem !! no1 shane defender @witch_trials

   Replying to @centaursnhl

   Y’all are so unserious 😭

 

   nini @hollesbianov 

   Replying to @centaursnhl

   Completely just ignoring the fact your player had to come out as straight AGAIN

 

   hunter | harris drover sniper @meterokinesis

   Replying to @hollesbianov

   Harris probably told Censmin to ignore the babies unless someone is dead, dying, or got arrested. For their own sanity

 

   TJ @tjscott978

   Replying to @meterokinesis

   Honestly good for them. It’s solid engagement 

 

~~~

 

Mallee | The First Shipper @lahaas

Time to clock back into the white boy yaoi mines #lahaas

 

   nim! @inimitability

   Replying to @lahaas

   Hey babes love the energy but… wtf?

 

   toby @babeaan

   Replying to @lahaas

   I don’t have the willpower to dissect any of that.

 

   Mallee | The First Shipper @lahaas

   Replying to @inimitability

   LaHaas!

 

   Jockles // It’s free real estate @jockles

   Replying to @lahaas

   That doesn’t… make any more sense than before

 

   Shelfie [First Cens game!] @shelfthereader

   Replying to @jockles

   LaHaas is the ship name for Luca and LP. As in… they want them to date

 

   nim! @inimitability

   Replying to @shelfthereader

   are you fr? theyre KIDS

 

   Shelfie [First Cens game!] @shelfthereader

   Replying to @inimitability

   I mean, Luca is 21 turning 22 this year, and LP is 23. That’s pretty normal. 

 

   Jockles // It’s free real estate @jockles

   Replying to @shelfthereader

   That just made me feel incredibly old. I hope you’re proud of yourself. 

 

   Shelfie [First Cens game!] @shelfthereader

   Replying to @jockles

   You know what? I really am!

 

~~~

 

British Ilya @thebrains_ofthis_hellhole

Awwww look at my boysssss 🥹

[Video description: Filmed by a fan at the Boston game. Haas and LaPointe are racing down the ice, LP in control of the puck. He has both Boston defensemen on him. Without looking LP cleanly passes it to Haas. Haas has his opening and makes the shot, right through the top left corner of the net. Stick in hand Haas throws his arms up in celebration. He is swarmed by his linemates, LP getting to him first. They bump helmets.]

 

   salem !! no1 shane defender @witch_trials

   Replying to @thebrains_ofthis_hellhole

   That was HOT

 

~~~

 

V | #1 Shane Hollander Lover @hollanderdiaz

They’re boyfriend coded, your honor

[Gif set description: Haas and LaPointe’s goal celebration, cut into four separate gifs]

 

   salem !! no1 shane defender @witch_trials

   Replying to @hollanderdiaz

   Holy shit you got these out before Censmin

 

   nini @hollesbianov 

   Replying to @hollanderdiaz

   @hollanderdiaz @witch_trials Censmin works hard but twt gifmakers work harder

 

   British Ilya @thebrains_ofthis_hellhole

   Replying to @hollanderdiaz

   Your composition??? I am OBSESSED

 

   V | #1 Shane Hollander Lover @hollanderdiaz

   Replying to @thebrains_ofthis_hellhole

   Awww thanks for the video love 💜

 

~~~

 

Mallee | The First Shipper @lahaas

Proof that LaHaas is real: a running thread (1/?)

 

[See 100+ replies]

   

   Mallee | The First Shipper @lahaas

   Replying to @lahaas

   OTT vs BOS March XX 2022 (109/?)

   [Photo description: The same Haas/LaPointe post-goal celebration, but at this angle, it looks like they’re kissing.] 

 

   Svetlana Vetrova Fan Club @spaghettishimmy

   Replying to @lahaas

   Damn this is some dedication

 

   Mallee | The First Shipper @lahaas

   Replying to @spaghettishimmy

   

   [GIF Description: A clip of Elle Woods from Legally Blonde saying, “What, like it’s hard?”]

   Ell @brvss316

   Replying to @lahaas

   Okay grandma, let’s get you to bed. 

 

~~~

 

Ottawa Centaurs ✔️  @centaursnhl

Haasy and LP are the definition of teamwork!

[Video Description: Yet another angle of the Haas/LaPointe goal and celebration. This one looks as intimate as the image from the fan accounts.]

 

   Siren || Hazy’s Hero @sirens_scales

   Replying to @centaursnhl

   Censmin really has no clue what they’ve done.

 

 

Notes:

Reblog this chapter on Tumblr!

It has come to my attention that according to a reader on “Luca Haas on Coming Out” I am a lying liar who lies. However, those who know me… already knew that.

I’m not affected by a pissy reader. If anything, I would gift this comment the “Pin of Shame” if I could. Fanfiction is *free*. I do this because there is no space left in my brain to house all of this bullshit and whimsy. If I restructure, I restructure. Outlines are just that… outlines. They aren’t the fucking Bible. I may not be writing a second chapter to the interview, but I AM giving you more SMAUs. I was debating pushing back posting this chapter, but that punishes me as well as you.

I'm keeping my schedule, but just know I'm side-eyeing everyone who complains extra extra hard