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Eddie’s survival is, frankly, a miracle. He’s not even entirely sure how the group managed to haul his bloodied almost-corpse out of the Upside Down and to a hospital, but damn is he grateful. Even though the recovery period is gnarly as all hell. He’s in pain pretty much constantly, and he can barely move without his wounds pulling and reopening. He could probably fill a landfill with the amount of dirty bandages he’s producing.
And throughout all of it, without waver, has been Wayne. Eddie’s not entirely sure how he’s managing to stay home with him so much. He figures he must have worked out some sort of deal with his boss, he just isn’t entirely sure how he managed to convince his boss to help him out. Because even though those strange government people weaved a lie of a story blaming Jason Carver for the murders of Chrissy, Fred, and Patrick, most of the town remains suspicious of Eddie.
That doesn’t matter much to Eddie, anyhow. Not when he has his new pseudo-family. Dustin has been insistent on spending as much time with Eddie as he possibly can. With him, naturally, comes the rest of the kids, and along with the kids comes their perpetual babysitters. Nancy acts as chauffeur often, and with her comes Jonathan. And then there’s Steve, the group’s second chauffeur, and along with him comes Robin.
That pairing surprises Eddie the most. He has a vague idea how the two became such close friends - something about Russians and torture, a story they had told somberly that made Eddie’s insides twist nauseatingly. But there’s something else between them that Eddie can’t quite put his finger on. It’s clear they’re not telling the full truth, but it’s not Eddie’s place to be nosy, so he doesn’t bring it up.
The second thing that surprises Eddie is how good Steve is. He remembers Steve from high school, the asshole jock who wouldn’t hesitate to hassle him, call him a freak and a fag. But now he’s just inexplicably kind. He helps Eddie walk to the bathroom, he gets him food, and drinks, and blankets, and whatever else Eddie needs. He even volunteers to help change his bandages.
“Wayne deserves a break and it just makes sense if I do it,” Steve says by way of explanation.
Eddie doesn’t point out the faulty logic. He just lets Steve wrap his torso up tight, focusing on not flushing pink every time Steve’s fingers brush over his bare skin.
So yeah, Eddie’s a little bit fucked. He’s not blind, he knows how attractive Steve is. Him being a good person just puts the final nail in the coffin that is Eddie’s small - (massive) - crush. Which is fine. Eddie’s fine. He can handle a little crush, even if the subject of said crush is straight as an arrow and has a history of homophobic jabs and insults. He can control himself.
He’s doing a great job of it, too, he thinks as Steve’s arms encircle him to wrap the crisp, white bandage around the worst of the demobat bites. He’s barely even blushing, keeping his gaze dutifully away from the way Steve’s lips are parted just so as he concentrates on the task at hand. After what feels like an eon Steve ties off the bandage and cuts the excess before stepping back and admiring his handiwork.
“Looks good enough.” He nods, then begins cleaning up after himself, tossing the unused supplies into the large wicker basket Wayne had emptied out and dedicated to Eddie’s recovery supplies.
“Thanks,” Eddie says. “ You know, you really don’t have to do this for me. Wayne is more than happy to do it.”
Steve shrugs, shoving the basket under the bathroom sink where Eddie prefers to store it - out of sight, out of mind. “He deserves a break. He does enough for you as it is. Besides, I really don’t mind. I kinda like playing nurse.” He grins at Eddie, and Eddie can’t help the almost-giggle that forces its way out of him. Jesus Christ, so much for having a handle on his crush.
“Well, I guess you do a decent enough job. I wouldn’t hire you full time, though.”
“Oh yeah, is that so?” Steve laughs. “Guess I have to work on my skills, then. I’ll have to come over to help you with your bandages more often.”
“Right,” Eddie snorts. “You can be my personal nurse.”
“Okay.”
It doesn’t sound like a joke at all, and Eddie’s heart skips a beat. He can’t possibly mean it as sincerely as it sounded, but Eddie still is instantly flooded with fantasies that he tries very, very hard to compartmentalize and set aside for later.
He opts not to say anything, unsure what would come out of his mouth if he tried. Instead he stood and followed Steve out of the bathroom to where Robin was waiting for them, sprawled out on the couch.
“You guys done playing doctor in there?” she teases, sitting up tucking her legs under herself to give the pair room to sit next to her on the couch.
Steve sticks his tongue out at her as he takes the seat directly next to Robin, leaving Eddie the end. The couch is just a little bit small for the three of them to sit on it, but none of them verbally object to the way they’re pressed together at the sides, so Eddie tries not to think about all of the points of contact he currently has with Steve Harrington.
He also doesn’t mention the free armchair that is on their left.
“So, what movie are we watching?” Robin wonders.
“As much as I’m going to regret this, it’s Eddie’s turn to pick.” Steve turns to Eddie, eyebrow raised in question.
“Well then I choose a classic,” Eddie says as he hauls himself back to his feet and leans down to rifle through his small but carefully curated collection of VHS’s, pulling out his choice for the evening. He turns and holds it up for Robin and Steve to see and is immediately met with a loud groan.
“Dude, not Poltergeist!”
“Oh yes, my friend.” Eddie flashes Steve a shit eating grin, then sets about setting up the movie.
Once the VHS is in place and the movie has begun, Eddie retakes his seat. He winces as his wounds pull and a sharp pain shoots through his torso, but he manages to get himself lowered into his seat. The pain subsides once he’s settled and his tensed muscles relax a little.
“You okay?” Steve whispers. “Did your wounds open back up?”
“I don’t think so,” Eddie whispers back. “I’m fine, really.”
Steve doesn’t look like he believes him, but he says nothing else and turns back to the movie. Eddie follows suit, struggling to pay attention with Steve’s warmth pressed up against him. He can feel him tensing at dramatic moments, and the way he jumps a little when he gets scared. It makes Eddie want to put an arm around him to comfort him. He lets himself imagine it, greedily envisioning an alternate universe where he and Steve are together and he holds him close, whispering calming encouragements as he hides from the jumpscares in his neck.
He’s so engrossed in his thoughts that he almost jumps himself when Steve startles at whatever is going on in the movie - Eddie has long since stopped paying attention - but then there’s a hand slipping into his, gripping tight, and Eddie can’t breathe. He chances a glance down and, sure enough, Steve’s hand is gripping his, knuckles almost white he’s gripping so hard. Eddie finds he doesn’t care, despite the way his fingers are beginning to ache under the pressure. He’d let Steve break his hand if it meant he got to hold hands with him just a little while longer.
It takes several long moments for Steve to relax, his hold slackening and allowing blood to rush back into Eddie’s sore fingers. Then, Steve looks down. Eddie watches his face as his gaze lands on their intertwined hands, his eyes widening.
“I don’t mind,” Eddie whispers quickly, because he can feel the way Steve tenses, the way he starts to pull away, and he panics. He doesn’t want to let go.
Steve pauses, eyes flicking up to Eddie’s. They flick back down to their hands, then back up at his eyes. Eddie keeps his face as steady and neutral as possible, trying not to spook him. Eventually Steve relaxes, fingers curling around Eddie’s hand just slightly. Eddie squeezes back, and then they both turn back to the movie.
Paying attention to the rest of the movie is impossible for Eddie, but he gives it a valiant effort. In reality his heart is pounding and he hopes his palms aren’t sweating because he’s holding hands with Steve Harrington. Holy shit, holy shit. All too soon the credits roll and Robin shifts, stretching her arms above her head and Steve immediately lets go, pressing his palm against his leg and rubbing like he needs to get rid of the evidence. Eddie tries ignore the way his heart drops into his stomach at the sight.
Eddie stands and moves to the TV set, pressing the “rewind” button. He turns back to the couch to see Steve and Robin staring at each other very intently, and he pauses, unsure what he’s interrupting. Finally, Robin sighs, and Steve looks relieved as she moves to stand, springing to his feet behind her like the couch was on fire.
“This really has been so fun, but we really need to get going for…reasons,” Robin finishes lamely. “Sorry.”
Steve hovers behind Robin, not meeting Eddie’s eyes. He must have asked Robin to leave. Shit. Eddie made Steve uncomfortable and now he was running. Shit, shit, shit.
“It’s okay,” Eddie says, trying to sound understanding when really he was just trying not to cry. “I’ll uh - I’ll walk you out.”
Neither Steve nor Robin mention that the door is only a few steps away as they cross the small living room. They exchange awkward goodbyes before Steve practically bolts out the door, Robin throwing Eddie an apologetic look as she follows him. Then, all of a sudden, Eddie is alone. He closes the door to the trailer and turns back to the living room, hands on his hips and an ache in his heart.
He fucked up, he knows it. He just hopes it doesn’t have more consequences than things being a little awkward between him and Steve for a while.
~~~~~
Steve avoids Eddie for a week. He feels bad about it, he does. He just can’t bring himself to face him. Not after…well, he just can’t. He focuses his attention on anything but that day during the movie and comes up with excuse after excuse to get out of going to Eddie’s trailer. Eventually, though, he runs out of distractions and he thinks about it. He replays the day in his head, over and over, analyzing everything in an attempt to understand exactly how it had happened. What compelled him to reach for Eddie’s hand in the first place?
He thinks back through their conversation before the movie, when he’d been changing Eddie’s bandages. He recalls the easy banter they’d shared, the way he’d offered to be Eddie’s personal nurse. He hadn’t even meant it as a joke. He was seriously offering. Why in the world would he do that? Eddie definitely seemed to assume he was joking, but Steve knew he had meant it with total sincerity.
Then there was the gnawing fact that he hadn’t just continued to hold Eddie’s hand because he was scared. He’d done it because he liked it. It stays in the back of his mind, invading everything he does like a virus. It makes him feel jittery and out of sorts. He doesn’t like the feeling.
It’s a slow day at Family Video when Robin confronts him.
“Okay, what’s eating you?” she demands. “You have to tell me, I’m invoking best friend code.”
“What? What best friend code?” He’s deflecting, Steve knows he is, but he doesn’t care.
“The one I just made up. Now spill.”
He lets out a heavy sigh. He knows he won’t get out of this, and he actually wonders if maybe Robin would have some good advice after all. So he takes a deep breath and tells Robin all about the quasi-flirting in the bathroom, his offer to Eddie, the hand-holding, and the fact that he’s been ignoring Eddie ever since then. When he’s done he looks up at Robin, only to be met with the palm of her hand connecting with the side of his head.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“Avoiding Eddie!” she exclaims. “I knew something was wrong when you asked to leave so suddenly. Do you understand that he’s probably terrified right now?”
“What? Why would he be scared?”
“Steve,” Robin says like he’s being dense on purpose. Steve looks at her blankly and she rolls her eyes and sighs. “Steve, you bullied Eddie for years. I remember some of the things you and your friends used to say about him. He’s probably rightfully scared because he just put his entire heart on the line for someone who used to call him a slur, and then you ignored him! He’s probably thinking you’re out telling the entire world that everyone was right about him.”
Steve stares at her, dumbfounded. He’s never even considered that Eddie would assume Steve still has that kind of mindset, and as much as it hurts a little that Eddie doesn’t have more faith in him, it also hits him that he hasn’t exactly made it clear that he doesn’t think that way anymore. He’s not even sure Eddie knows about Robin, so how would have any way of knowing that he’s changed? It also hits him with a sharp pang to his chest that he’s fucked up. Bad.
Robin seems to sense the moment Steve realizes this, because she pats his shoulder consolingly. “Look, just go apologize to him. Make sure he understands that you’re not that person anymore.”
He wants to, he really does. But there’s still something gnawing away at him, and he knows he needs to tell Robin the full truth. So he steels his nerves and does it.
“There’s um - there’s more,” Steve starts. “The flirting, and the - the hand-holding. I didn’t exactly hate it? And…” he trails off, dropping his gaze to his lap as he prepares himself for what he’s about to say next. “ And I think maybe I wouldn’t mind doing it again?”
Robin doesn’t say anything for a long moment, prompting Steve to look up at her. She looking at him intently, like she’s trying to figure something out.
“What?” he asks, self-conscious under her gaze.
“Nothing, just - before I give my opinion or advice, I need to know what you think that means.”
“What do you mean?”
“For you. What do you think that means for you, that you want to hold his hand again?”
Steve furrows his brows, letting himself think about it for a long moment. He knows what it means, he’s used to this feeling. He’s just never experienced it with a guy before, and he’s having trouble coming to terms with the fact that he’s having these feelings for another man. It terrifies him, and he feels pretty justified in that fear. If he acknowledges this, if he lets its become a thing, then he’s accepting all the risks that come with being…that. Christ, he can’t even think the word. How would he ever say it? Is that even what he is? He’s pretty sure he still likes women, and he’s not even sure if he likes men, plural, or if it’s just Eddie.
When Steve finally speaks, he chooses his words carefully. “I know that I’ve felt this way before, with women. I know that I’ve never felt this way about a man. But I also know that I really liked holding his hand, and I want to do it again. I know that I think he’s kind of beautiful, in a totally badass way. And I know that I could see myself kissing him.”
“It sounds a little like you like him,” Robin tells him. “Is that okay with you?”
Steve huffs a laugh. “I don’t think I have a choice but to be okay with it. It’s in me now, whether I want it to be or not.”
“Yeah, I get the feeling,” Robin agrees solemnly. “So, what do you want to do about it?”
“I’m going to have to be brave, aren’t I?” Steve sighs a heavy sigh. “Now that I have a name for it I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t take my chance.”
“You’ve faced inter-dimensional monsters, I think you can tell a boy you like him,” Robin teases. “For real, though, I’m proud of you. You’re taking this whole sexuality crisis a lot better than some people do, that’s for sure.”
Steve doesn’t feel like he is. He feels like he’s on the verge of a breakdown and he’s barely holding it together, but he supposes that’s better than actually having a breakdown. It helps to imagine himself with Eddie, holding hands, wrapping their arms around each other, kissing. It sends a thrill down his spine as he’s suddenly filled with want. He wants Eddie, and he clings on to the hope that he’s not being presumptuous and Eddie actually does like him.
He wishes his shift was already over, but it’s barely started and he still has six more hours of customer service hell to go through before he can call Eddie and ask him to hang out. He really hopes Eddie doesn’t have any other plans tonight.
~~~~~
Eddie’s lounging in his bed, one of his Dio tapes - The Last in Line - playing at what some might consider an earsplitting volume, but Eddie considers comforting. He has an old edition of Circus open, but he’s not really reading it. He’s staring at the wall, engrossed in thought. It has been a week and a day since he had seen or heard from Steve, and he’s starting to accept that he’s fucked things up beyond repair this time. It doesn’t make it any easier to lose Steve as a friend, especially given their shared friend group. No doubt things will be incredibly awkward from here on out.
Why couldn’t have have just kept his mouth shut? He should have let Steve pull away, pretend it never happened like a good, straight friend would have done. Instead he’d gone and outed himself to Steve in the most humiliating way possible, and there was no telling what Steve would do with that information. He wants to believe Steve has changed, but he remembers the vitriol in Steve’s voice as he called Eddie every slur in the book. Is it really possible to change that much?
He’s so lost in thought he doesn’t notice Wayne standing at his door at first, only registering his presence when Wayne waves his arms around and shouts his name over the loud music. He reaches over and turns down his tape before turning his attention back to his uncle.
“You have a phone call,” Wayne tells him. “It’s that Harrington kid.”
Eddie’s heart skips a beat. Steve’s calling him? He briefly considers having Wayne tell him that he’s asleep or something, but in the end his curiosity wins out and he shuffles his way out to the phone, picking the receiver up off the counter.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Eddie!” Steve sounds perky, excited almost. It sends Eddie reeling. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but an excited Steve wasn’t it.
“What’s up?” Eddie asks, unsure what else to say.
“Are you free tonight?”
“Uh,” Eddie frowns to himself. Does he want to say yes? Of course he does. Despite everything Eddie wants nothing more than to see Steve. But he’s nervous, unsure of Steve’s motives. “Yeah,” he says finally. “I’m free.”
“Is it cool if I come over?”
“Yeah, sure, that’s cool.”
“Awesome, I’ll be over in a few.”
The line clicks and Eddie hangs up, dazed. Apparently Steve is coming over. He looks down at himself, grimacing at what he sees. He’s been wearing the same clothes for too many days, and he’s sure his hair is a greasy mess. He wonders if he has time to shower before deciding that no, he probably doesn’t. He settles for throwing his hair into a messy ponytail and quickly changing into a fresh pair of pajama pants and a band tee that doesn’t smell like sweat. He swipes his pits with deodorant and, as a last minute decision, sprays a little bit of cologne on his neck.
Not long after he’s finished freshening up a knock sounds from the front door. He hears Wayne answering it, so he waits for him to send Steve back. His heart pounds as he listens to the sound of Steve shuffling through down the short hallway, and then he’s there in Eddie’s doorway. They look at each other awkwardly for a moment, but then Steve smiles and Eddie’s heart speeds up.
“Hi,” Steve says, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. “Is it okay if I just say what I need to say?”
Eddie nods, shoving his hands in his pockets and waiting for Steve to begin.
“First I want to say that I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have avoided you. That was pretty shitty of me.” Steve look sheepish, like he’s ashamed with himself, and Eddie doesn’t know what to make of that. “Second, I want to make sure you know that I’m not the asshole I was back in high school. I would never, ever use your sexuality against you. I need to make sure you know that.”
Eddie wants to say he believed that all along, but he can’t. He had been genuinely terrified that this would be the thing to bring back Asshole-Steve in full force. He’s glad he was wrong, but he can’t lie.
“Thank you,” he says instead. “I understand you needing to take some space. It just kinda sucked to be left in the dark like that.”
“I know, and I am really, really sorry,” Steve repeats. Then, he takes a deep breath, preparing himself. “That’s not all, though. I have more to say.”
“Okay.” Eddie nods. “Shoot.”
“The reason I avoided you wasn’t because I was uncomfortable. It was kind of the opposite, actually. I, um, I really liked holding your hand, and it freaked me out a little at first. And I’ve kind of realized that I maybe want to do it again? And uh, more? Maybe?”
Eddie stares at Steve, dumbfounded. He feels almost like he’s in a dream, and he’ll wake up any second now and have to go back to a world where Steve hates him again. Is Steve really saying what Eddie thinks he’s saying?
“Are you serious?” Eddie chokes out. “Are you fucking with me?”
“I promise, I’m not fucking with you,” Steve asserts. “I thought about it really hard, I talked it through with Robin -"
“With Robin?” Eddie is stunned. “You told Robin?”
“Yeah? She - well, nevermind, it’s not my…anyway, yes, of course I told Robin. She’s my best friend!” Steve says it like it’s totally obvious - which, maybe it is now that Eddie thinks about it. The two are pretty much inseparable.
“So the conclusion you came to is that you want to hold my hand again, and maybe…more?” Eddie repeats. “What exactly is ‘more’?”
Steve’s cheeks turn pink and he averts his eyes, shrugging. “Y’know. Stuff that people do together when they, um, like each other?”
“You like me?” Eddie can’t believe this is real. How is this real?
“I mean, yeah. I’m pretty sure I do.” Steve looks back up at Eddie, and nods, face determined.
“So it’d be okay if I did this,” Eddie says as he slowly steps forward. Steve’s eyes widen, but he stays still as Eddie steps into his space until they’re toe to toe.
“Yeah, it’s okay.”
“What about this?” Eddie raises his hand to Steve’s face, pressing his palm against his cheek and wrapping his long fingers around his neck.
“That’s okay, too,” Steve breathes.
Slowly, Eddie leans forward. Steve’s eyes drop to Eddie’s mouth, before slipping closed just as their lips brush.
“How about this?” Eddie whispers.
In response, Steve presses forward, sealing their lips together in a firm kiss. His hands drop to grip at Eddie’s waist and goosebumps break out across Eddie’s skin at the touch. He wraps his arms around Steve’s neck, pulling him close. He shivers into the kiss, mouth parting to lick at the seam of Steve’s lips. Steve gets the message, and then their tongues are touching, sliding together almost filthily. Eddie groans, and Steve’s fingers dig into Eddie’s waist a little harder in response.
They kiss, and kiss, until they eventually have to break apart for air. They press their foreheads together as they catch their breaths, grins adorning their faces. Once they’ve collected themselves, Eddie surges forward to catch Steve’s lips in another searing kiss, this one lasting only a few second before he pulls away again, leaving Steve breathless once more.
“Does this mean we get to do that more often?” Eddie asks, only partially joking.
“Yeah, we can do that whenever you want.” Steve nods eagerly, earning a sharp laugh from Eddie.
“You have a deal, then.”
“A deal? Is this a relationship or a business transaction?” Steve teases.
“I dunno, is it a relationship?” Eddie asks.
“Well, I do think the title of ‘boyfriend’ fits me rather nicely, don’t you?” Steve smirks.
Eddie’s eyes sparkle as he smiles at Steve, arms still wrapped around his neck and faces inches apart. “Yeah, I think it does.”
And then he kisses him again, and again, and again, until they grow tired and climb into the bed, falling asleep in each other’s arms.