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“You don’t have to wear it.”
“You made it for me right?”
Eddie takes the bundle and runs his hand over the soft grey fabric. He walks into the house, and Buck hesitates before following him inside.
“Yeah, I um, I found the pattern on Etsy. It was easier than I thought. I figured you’d like something soft and breathable.”
He’d been on a knitting kick since the auction. The stitch and bitch group were sweet and had sent him information on how to make someone you a gift, along with all the superstitions he’d been trying not to think about. It took him a day or two to finish the soft sleeveless vest, and then another week to work up the courage to give it to Eddie.
“Then I’m wearing it.”
Buck can’t contain his excitement and he starts talking about the material and how to take care of it. He stops when he sees that Eddie is just smiling at him.
“What?”
“No, nothing. I just missed this.”
His face feels warm under Eddie’s gaze.
“I’m sorry, for pushing you I know you’re still worried about —”
“Why did you push me?”
“You haven’t… Eddie, why are you avoiding it?”
“Buck. I need you to listen to me, okay?”
“Okay?”
Eddie takes a breath and plays with the sleeve of the sweater.
“I can’t have you be my wingman.”
“Fuck, okay. We can ask Ravi. I’m sure he won’t mind.” Buck’s heart sinks, he scrambles to get off the couch. Eddie pushes him back.
“No. Buck, listen to me.”
Eddie’s warm hand stays over his chest for a moment longer before he steps back.
“I don’t want to date women. Not right now, probably not ever.”
He watches as Eddie pulls the ribbon off the bundled vest and starts to open it up. Buck’s breath hitches as he remembers all the superstitions the group also warned him about. He moves toward the couch and groans as he sits. Eddie’s eyes find his when he finally looks up.
“Wait, what? Why? Is it the whole Kim thing?”
“No. Well kind of…”
“Is it Chris? You know he’s been joking about you actually doing something about your love life.”
“It’s not about Chris.”
“Then what is it? Eds. I’ll back off if you want me to I swear, but if this is somehow about you not deserving to feel loved?”
“Buck…” He hears the fear, the vulnerability in Eddie’s voice, and it scares him too, “are you really gonna make me say it?”
“What are you doing?”
Buck stares as Eddie pulls his shirt off and threads his arms through the vest.
“Trying it on.”
“Did you know it’s apparently bad luck to make a gift for someone you’re in a relationship with.” He doesn't know why he says it, but it's done, it's out there.
“Well seeing as we aren’t currently in a relationship, shouldn’t do too much damage right?” Eddie whispers, no heat or malice in his voice.
Buck shivers, his voice caught in his throat. Eddie steps in front of Buck, the vest falling perfectly above his waistline and accentuating his biceps.
“Wow.”
Eddie looks down at himself and hums.
“It’s soft. You did good.”
Buck opens his mouth to respond but Eddie reaches back and threads his hand through his hair, whatever he was going to say is gone. Buck leans into Eddie’s touch, the words slipping out before he can stop them.
“Might be who’s wearing it."
“Yeah? You think I clean up nice?” Buck watches him look over himself, the movement shifting the vest up, a small patch of skin visible. ”You think I could wear this out like this? That it could feel soft on someone else's skin?"
Buck inhales sharply as Eddie kneels in front of him.
"Eddie, what's happening?"
"It was never about about Kim, or Marisol, or anyone you and Ravi tried to push my way. It’s about you. And how you can’t see that I haven’t looked at a woman in a year because I was finally letting myself look at you.”
Buck stares at him, his eyes prickling.
“Tell me you’ll stop trying to set me up with other people.” Eddie's hand cups his cheek, his eyes pleading. “Tell me you understand what I’m telling you.”
Buck swallows.
“Are you, is this you trying to come out?”
Eddie nods. A wet laugh escaping both of them.
“Yeah, part of it at least. Buck, I don't want to date anyone that isn't you. I don't know my label yet, I don't even know if I want one.”
Buck pulls Eddie’s hand away from his face and throws his arms around him, enveloping Eddie in a tight hug. Eddie’s nose tickles the side of his neck and Buck can’t think of a better place for him to be.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Buck.”
“No, I pushed and pushed. That wasn't fair, especially not when you were trying to figure all this out. I’m so proud of you.Thank you, for trusting me with this. With you.”
"Always."
"Holy shit, we are probably the gayest fire station in Los Angeles."
Eddie laughs into his neck and pulls away to look into his eyes.
"You're horrible."
"You love me."
Buck stays in Eddie's hold, a sudden weight to his words. All at once it feels like the floor has been yanked from underneath him.
"Oh my god."
“What is it?”
“I owe Maddie like a hundred apologies. Eds, I tortured her so much when you were gone. I was so sure... fuck I hate that Tommy was right."
He feels the tension in Eddie's shoulders. He has to know.
"Tommy?"
“Ravi and I went out while you were in Texas, he got sick of me talking about you and dumped Tommy on me. We ended up here at the end of the night. I hated the way I felt after the conversation we had in the morning, I got angry and said a few things before blocking his number and letting the food he made go cold.”
Buck feels Eddie’s hands slowly leave him and it breaks him, he’s ready to be pushed away, but Eddie sits next to him on the couch, taking a hand in his.
“We’ll talk about you bringing him back here in a second. What did he say to you?”
Buck takes a breath.
“He scoffed at the idea of you being straight and tried to play the whole thing as you being the competition. Like I was always going to hurt him because I… because I’m in love with you.”
Eddie gently glides his thumb over the side of Buck’s face, wiping away a stray tear.
“What else?”
“I told him that I don’t have to have feelings for everyone I sleep with… and that I don’t have to sleep with everyone I have feelings for.”
“Bet he didn’t take that well.”
“He did not. Especially when my entire excuse for not being in love with you was based on you being straight and a renter.”
They stay silent for a moment before bursting into laughter, Eddie leans his forehead on Buck’s.
“Definitely not straight. Still a renter though. That a dealbreaker?”
“No.”
Buck smiles, his stomach flips when his lips catch Eddie’s for the first time. It’s different from any kiss he’s had. The rasp of Eddie’s stubble and his warm breath intermingling with his is intoxicating. He reluctantly pulls away before slowly pushing Eddie down to lay on the couch. He slots himself between Eddie’s legs and starts to kiss softly, tenderly down Eddie’s face and neck.
“Fuck.” The raspiness of Eddie’s voice isn’t lost on him. Buck did that… he is making Eddie unravel. “Baby, we have to… bedroom…”
Buck stands slowly, kiss bitten lips tingling. He extends his hand to Eddie and lets himself be dragged into the bedroom. Eddie pushes him onto the bed and climbs on top of him. Buck tries to reach for him but Eddie takes his hands and lifts them over his head and lowers himself to whisper hotly into Buck’s ear.
“Keep your hands there for me.”
Buck swallows, he knows Eddie isn’t shy. They’ve talked about things like this before but experiencing it? His heart feels like it’s about to burst from his chest, Eddie’s calloused hands tracing every part of him. His shirt is slowly being pushed up as Eddie continues to kiss down his torso. He tries to move, get his shirt off so that Eddie can reach more of him. Eddie pushes back him back down and bites his pec gently. He groans, the pressure on his hands loosely as Eddie grinds his hips down, their breath turning erratic. The vest’s fabric rubs softly against his skin. Buck pulls at him, Eddie swats his hand away.
“Asked you to stay put, sweetheart.”
Buck arches into the feeling of Eddie’s lips on him. The pulsing left behind by Eddie’s marking has him on edge. He needs to touch him.
“Please.” He whines. Eddie pushes himself up and shakes his head.
“Please what?”
“Too many clothes.” Buck groans, slipping his hands out of their hold for a moment and pulling his shirt off. He reaches for Eddie, hands slipping under the soft yarn and pulls Eddie down, flipping them in the process. Eddie smiles into a kiss and moves his hands down, thumbing at the waistband sneaking a hand down Buck’s pants to pull him flush against him. Buck hisses, his pants verging on uncomfortable. He bites Eddie’s lower lip and tugs gently, letting Eddie move as he pleases. He buries his face in the soft vest, he’s close and the last thing he wants is to finish in his fucking jeans. He pushes Eddie away, earning a whine from the man.
“Brat.” Buck laughs.
“I was close you asshole.”
Eddie’s arms find their way around his neck and pull him down. Buck concedes and kisses him languidly.
“Fuck. Eddie, I just didn’t want it to end too soon,” He sucks a mark on Eddie’s collarbone, “or in our jeans. I want to feel you, all of you, if you’re okay with that.”
Eddie pushes him back, his hand roaming as they sit up.
“Yes.”
“Yeah?”
“Buck, I almost came in my fucking pants a minute ago. You can do whatever you want with me.”
“Dangerous words.”
Eddie smacks Buck’s bare chest with the back of his hand.
“I want every part of this with you.” He bites at his lip gently. “I want to make you forget you ever brought that idiot back into our house.”
Buck noses at Eddie, trying to kiss him. Eddie teases him, lips ghosting his, only their breath intermingling. A small laugh escapes him.
“He really called me competition?”
“It was stupid.” Buck breathes, his eyes fluttering as Eddie presses his lips softly around Buck’s face. “He hated how much I was with you but then he'd make plans that he knew I'd hate. It’s why he’d invite himself everything I was with you. But if he had asked me to choose? You’re the one I love, Eddie. You’re the one I can’t imagine losing. He could never compete.”
“Fuck, I love you. So much.”
Buck moans an I love you too into his mouth as he pushes him down on the bed and kisses him deep. Eddie frantically finds Buck’s zipper and fumbles to get the pants off his legs without needing to pull back from kissing him hungrily. He pulls at his own, Buck’s hand helping him, and throws the denim on the ground next to him. He kisses down Buck’s stomach, biting at his waist. He can feel Buck’s hands trying to pushing up the vest.
“Sweetheart?” Eddie starts, his voice breathy.
“Mm?”
“Vest stays on.” Buck hisses as Eddie presses wet kisses to his hips. “The man I love made it for me and I’m gonna appreciate it for all its worth.”