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The journalist known only as Oh built a reputation with each passing day as a music critic unafraid to tell the truth. Their work was admired and praised by fellow critics, both contemporaries and veterans of the industry. Fans, however, were not always pleased with the reviews, especially K-pop fans. More than once, some of them tried to sabotage the critic by searching for social media accounts or attempting to uncover their real identity. Unfortunately for those people, Oh was like a ghost.
Whoever Oh was, they never showed their face in any publication, despite working for a prestigious music magazine. They also appeared to have no social media presence, or anything even remotely close to it. Their articles never contained the slightest clue that could reveal who they truly were. If someone who hated this person happened to run into them on the street, they would probably bow and apologize instead. As a journalist, Oh paid no mind to the nonsense of obsessive fans, but as Oh Haewon — her true identity — she worried from time to time.
You never know what someone might be capable of. But what could she do? It was her job, her livelihood. Besides, she'd never been the type to settle for mediocre work. Before joining the magazine where she currently worked, she'd begun to realize that using her real identity was dangerous. Years ago, she had only a fraction of the reach she had now, yet she'd already received death threats. The one condition she gave the magazine before accepting the position was that they guarantee complete secrecy regarding her identity. She was a rising talent, so they agreed.
Given everything that had happened in her career, it was almost ironic why she'd been under such intense scrutiny both inside and outside the office lately. Today, the editor-in-chief had summoned her for another private meeting, but she dragged her feet toward his office without the slightest hint of emotion. Normally, being called in for a one-on-one meeting with the editor-in-chief wasn't a good sign, but by now she was more or less used to it. She wasn't particularly worried anymore, nor did she feel any need to hurry.
When she arrived, she knocked twice on the door, her knocks soft and restrained, and was promptly invited inside. Haewon opened the door slowly and stepped into the office even more slowly. After closing it behind her, she found herself facing a short, middle-aged man arguing with someone over the phone. Every time he raised his voice, he bounced slightly in his chair. Every now and then, he also slapped the desk. The moment he noticed Haewon standing there, his cheeks flushed red, and he quickly ended the call, setting his phone aside.
"Oh Haewon! I'm sorry. Come in, please. You know how mothers can be sometimes, don't you?" The editor-in-chief let out an awkward chuckle.
"Of course, sir."
Haewon gave a polite bow before walking over and taking one of the two chairs opposite his desk.
"My dear Haewon, I think you already know exactly why I had to call you in."
"Yes... I can imagine." She let out a quiet sigh.
"Look, I'll be honest with you." He straightened his posture, sitting upright in his chair. "Before, no one noticed your obvious preference for her—"
"I don't have a preference for anyone!"
"Oh, please. Save those lies for someone else. They don't work on me anymore."
Haewon folded her arms and sank deeper into her chair, allowing the man to continue.
"You see, you're the greatest talent we have here. Your opinion is worth its weight in gold. Everyone trusts your judgment because of your fearless honesty. But don't you think it's suspicious that a music critic who always finds at least one flaw in every current artist has nothing but praise for one particular singer?"
"But I—"
"No, there's more. Even though she's considered a major soloist, her fandom is relatively niche. No one would've noticed if you'd only written about her every now and then. But no, as soon as she announced her hiatus, you published an article overflowing with praise for Lily Morrow." The man sighed deeply and shook his head. "Do you know the only reason nobody suspected her company paid you to write it? Because the company is so small it probably couldn't afford to. Which makes things even worse for us, because ever since that hiatus, all anyone can talk about is why the terrible Oh suddenly has a favorite. So I'll ask you the same question."
Before answering, Haewon uncrossed her arms and sat up properly.
"Sir, people only got upset because I praised and highlighted a soloist most people see as cute on variety shows and funny during livestreams, but very few actually acknowledge for her musical talent."
"That wasn't the only reason."
"I don't see any other explanation!" Haewon swallowed hard as she realized she'd raised her voice. "I'm sorry."
"All right, let's do this instead, Haewon. Whatever is said in this office stays in this office." He leaned forward over the desk, fingers interlocked. "After the article you wrote months ago, it's impossible to pretend there isn't any favoritism. All I want to know is why."
Haewon swallowed again and rubbed both hands against the fabric of her jeans.
"There is no explanation. I have absolutely no connection to Lily Morrow. I've never even spoken to her in person."
The editor-in-chief sighed, leaning back in his chair. Then he took off his glasses, tossed them onto the desk, and massaged the bridge of his nose.
"Okay, this isn't getting us anywhere." He put his glasses back on. "Let's move on. I've heard from reliable industry sources that Lily is starting to come up with ideas for a comeback. It might even happen this year. This is your chance to redeem yourself. After all, you understand that the opinion of someone who clearly has a favorite isn't exactly trustworthy, right?"
"Redeem myself?"
"Of course. Do your worst. Tear that woman's comeback apart."
One of Haewon's hands clenched into a fist, though she fought to keep herself under control.
"I don't destroy careers. I never write a negative review unless it's deserved. If Lily has never received a negative review from me, it's because she genuinely didn't deserve one. She puts a great deal of effort and dedication into everything she does... I assume."
"Haewon, I'll be honest. If you can't find anything wrong with the music, look for something else. Nobody's perfect."
"What do you mean? I'm a music critic. What am I supposed to talk about besides the music? Her choice of outfits?"
"Exactly!" The man chuckled, satisfied. "I'll give you another useful piece of information one of my sources shared. Lily gained weight during her hiatus. Use that. Everyone will be talking about it anyway."
Haewon's mouth went dry, and her heart began racing. What she truly wanted in that moment was to punch him, but she had to restrain herself. Instead, she started tapping her foot forcefully against the floor.
"I'm sorry, but I was hired to talk about music. I don't talk about anything other than music."
"Wonderful. Just remember this magazine doesn't want people who are soft. Think about it. Think about whether defending some random idol — for whatever reason only God knows — is really worth it."
"I—"
"You may leave."
Haewon let out a loud sigh and rose abruptly from her chair. More than anything, she wanted to slam the door on her way out, but her departure was just as quiet as her entrance.
[...]
Haewon stared at the blank Word document on her computer screen. It seemed to be laughing at her, and even more at her situation. In the end, she leaned back against her chair with a loud sigh and closed her eyes.
"Rough day?" A head appeared over the partition separating their desks. The voice was soft and calm.
"More than rough," Haewon replied quietly.
Normally, she preferred to keep her distance from her coworkers, partly to protect her identity, but Yoona was different. They had studied journalism together, and Haewon knew her well enough to know she was one of the most discreet people she had ever met.
"What are you two talking about? Today was great!" Another head popped up over the partition on Haewon's other side.
"Every day is great for you!" Yoona accused.
Bae Jinsol was exactly the kind of person Haewon tried to stay away from. Besides being intrusive, she wasn't discreet in the slightest. Unfortunately, Jinsol sat at the desk beside hers and absolutely adored Haewon, though she adored Yoona even more.
"Of course every day is great! I keep a positive mindset."
"That's not enough. It's not possible to stay positive in every situation," Yoona argued.
"That doesn't mean you have to stay negative all the time!"
Haewon rolled her eyes. It wasn't enough that this job was hell on earth; every single day she had to sit between two people who couldn't sort themselves out. Every day it was the same flirtatious arguments disguised as debates. She was far too bitter for that.
"You two!" Haewon called a little louder. "I'm heading home. I'm making dinner tonight. Have a safe trip home."
The two of them didn't even seem to notice what she had said. They kept talking without even saying goodbye. Haewon simply gathered her things, slung her bag over her shoulder, and quietly walked away.
On her way to the parking lot, only a few people greeted her. Hardly anyone outside her department knew her, which was a good thing, both because of her secret and because Haewon wasn't exactly sociable. She preferred it that way, with everyone keeping a certain distance.
When she found her car, she tossed her bag onto the passenger seat before climbing into the driver's seat. Haewon let out a loud sigh and started the engine, only so she could slam her hand against the horn with all the strength she could muster. In the rearview mirror, she caught sight of an elderly woman walking past who gave a small startled jump.
Haewon decided it was best to get home as quickly as possible. It was the only place where she could find even a little peace. Carefully, she pulled out of the parking space and merged into Seoul's crowded streets. That city was the perfect recipe for driving anyone insane. When she was younger, constant movement was everything she had wanted. Now, all she could think about was growing old in the countryside.
At least her home was a sanctuary. The moment she stepped into the building, she felt the weight of the world slowly slipping away. She parked in her usual spot and took the elevator upstairs. Even inside the elevator, Haewon unbuttoned three buttons of her white dress shirt. Every single day followed exactly the same routine. There was no reason to change even the smallest detail.
As soon as she opened the apartment door, a French Bulldog greeted her with boundless excitement and a chorus of barks. She crouched down, and the little dog jumped all over her, licking her cheek. Haewon laughed and gently pushed her away as soon as she had the chance.
"You missed me, didn't you, Hailey?"
The dog dashed deeper into the apartment toward the kitchen. Haewon slipped off her shoes and followed. Hailey stopped in front of the refrigerator and barked at her owner.
"No. You know you only get treats after dinner."
Hailey let out a pitiful whine and circled around Haewon, who simply tied the strings of her apron behind her back before washing her hands. Dinner wouldn't be anything special, just homemade Korean food, but she loved preparing it. Mundane routines like this carried her mind far away from work and all its worries.
Throughout the entire process, Hailey stayed by her side, occasionally begging for little bites, which Haewon gave in to with reluctant generosity. Soon, a warm, delicious aroma filled the apartment. It drifted through the cozy, cluttered living room, the dining room covered in paintings, and the hallways painted in vibrant colors.
That was precisely why it was the first thing Lily noticed the moment she stepped inside the apartment. At first, she found it strange that the family dog hadn't come to greet her, but then she quickly put the pieces together and realized dinner was still being cooked. Hailey was undoubtedly glued to Haewon's feet, begging for snacks.
Lily slipped off her shoes and walked in wearing a smile and carrying a healthy appetite. She found Haewon standing with her back turned, completely focused on whatever was simmering on the stove. The radio was playing rather loudly.
One of Lily's own songs. Her wife could be so silly.
She quietly crept closer, completely certain she hadn't been noticed. She approached with silent footsteps, opened her arms, and just as she was about to wrap them around Haewon's waist—
"Welcome home, Lily."
Lily rolled her eyes, though she completed the embrace anyway, wrapping her arms around her wife's waist. At the same time, she rested her face against the curve of Haewon's neck.
A few barks echoed through the kitchen as Hailey wagged her tail excitedly at Lily.
"Hey, sweetheart! You didn't see me come in, did you?"
Hailey ran over to the refrigerator and let out a loud bark.
Haewon laughed while Lily shook her head, still nestled against the other's neck.
"You little opportunist!"
Lily lifted her head again and watched the food cooking on the stove with great interest. She tightened her arms around Haewon's waist and buried her face against her neck once more.
"Honey... too... tight..."
Lily let out a surprised sigh followed by an embarrassed little giggle and loosened her grip just enough.
"Sorry. I missed you."
Haewon inhaled deeply again, finally filling her lungs with air, and smiled.
"I missed you too."
Lily tilted her head upward until she reached the spot behind Haewon's ear, where she left a lingering kiss.
It was as though that tiny touch had lit the fuse to a whole display of fireworks. Warmth spread through Haewon's body, and within seconds her entire face turned bright red.
"Stop distracting me, Lily Morrow!" Laughter filled the kitchen. "I just want to finish dinner already."
Lily finally decided to give her wife a break and announced she was going to take a shower. Haewon sighed in relief, though Hailey continued circling around her, demanding more snacks.
People were far too hard on Haewon. Was it really so much to ask that she couldn't find a single flaw in her childhood best friend, her high school girlfriend, and her wife of five years?
She turned off the stove and served the food into individual portions, carrying them one by one to the dining table. Then she took off her apron. That was the signal Hailey needed to understand there was no more food within reach. She finally left Haewon's side and wandered over to her little bed to play with her favorite stuffed toy.
Haewon started walking toward the bedroom but noticed that the bathroom door at the end of the hallway was slightly ajar. A sly smile spread across her face as she began undoing the remaining buttons of her shirt. She stepped inside as quietly as possible. Through the fogged-up shower glass, Lily's silhouette was clearly visible.
Suddenly, the water stopped running.
"Don't you dare come in here, Oh Haewon. I want to eat as soon as possible. You're not making me waste any more time in the shower."
Haewon sighed and rolled her eyes.
"Your loss.”
[...]
The apartment was engulfed in near-total darkness and silence. The city still moved at a relentless pace; people hurried along the streets and cars continued speeding by, yet inside that space, time drifted lazily. The only light and the only sound came from the same place. The television was responsible for both. Sitting together on the couch in front of it was the couple.
Haewon sat with her back fully against the cushions while Lily rested her head on her shoulder. Their bodies were so close that their side of the couch had become noticeably warmer. Lily absentmindedly played with the hem of Haewon's pajama shirt. It was her favorite because the fabric was older, and the feeling of running her fingers over it was comforting. Meanwhile, Haewon lazily stroked her wife's hair.
Haily lay in her little bed on the floor, fast asleep beside her favorite plush toy. The television was showing a variety show. It was the episode Lily had filmed the previous week, airing today. She seemed so different. On screen, she laughed openly and made everyone else laugh too, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. But here, on this couch, Lily had no desire to laugh, nor did she find the show amusing. All she wanted was to keep kneading the fabric of her wife's pajamas while enjoying the gentle caresses.
"You'd do well on a variety show, Haewon," she whispered flatly. "You're so funny."
Haewon only let out a quiet nasal chuckle.
"I'm serious."
"Unnie, I'm only funny to you. My sense of humor doesn't really work with other people."
Silence settled over the room once more, broken only by the sounds of the show and the dog's soft snoring. Haewon thought the conversation was over until Lily wrapped both arms around her waist and hugged her tightly.
"Good. That just means there's more of you for me." As soon as she said it, Lily squeezed her even tighter.
The warmth on their side of the couch grew even more intense. The gentle strokes that had once wandered through Lily's hair now moved to her back. Fingertips traced shapes that had yet to be invented across the skin hidden beneath her shirt.
"Seriously, though... I'd really like to do an interview with you someday."
Haewon swallowed hard but let out a small laugh to disguise it.
"I'd probably ruin the whole thing."
"You never ruin anything... except when you come home from work too exhausted to even talk."
The room filled with Lily's loud laughter coming from the television. Haewon picked up the remote with her free hand and lowered the volume.
"Does that happen often?" she asked quietly.
"More often than I'd like. That job really consumes you, and that's coming from an idol!"
They both laughed, but it wasn't a long or carefree laugh. Just one of mutual understanding.
"Lily?"
"Hm?"
"Am I giving you as much attention as you need?"
"Haewon..." She let out a little chuckle before continuing. "You're so sweet. I'll never have enough of you, but considering what I can have and what you can give me, it's more than enough. I can't exactly say I'm always one hundred percent here either. It's just... lately I've been feeling like you're tense, even during moments like this."
"Tense? I don't feel tense right now."
"Well, I do. I feel like a seal lying on top of a rock."
"Lily!"
She simply laughed and rubbed her face against her wife's shoulder.
"Look on the bright side. You're my favorite rock."
"That's less flattering than you think. But... maybe... I really haven't been going through the best time at work. You know when you have to do something that goes against everything you are and everything you love?"
Little by little, Lily loosened her embrace until the contact was broken. She lifted her head from Haewon's shoulder, straightened her back, and looked at her intently.
"Haewon... what's going on?"
"Nothing! Nothing!" She waved both hands frantically. "I just ended up asking something way too deep about something that's actually silly. You don't need to worry."
"I don't trust you when it comes to things like this. You never want to burden anyone. Honestly, I'm too tired to push you, but I hope you won't keep this bottled up for too long, okay?"
"Y-yes."
"Good. I'm tired of this show. I want to go to bed."
"Yes, ma'am."
Haewon turned off the television, and the two of them stood up. The moment they did, Hailey instantly woke up. She got to her feet with some effort and followed the couple to the bedroom. Once there, she lay down on the rug in front of the bed, her favorite spot. The couple also took their usual sides of the bed. But the distinction quickly blurred because there was barely any space between them. They lay facing each other, quietly watching one another in the darkness.
"Are you excited for the comeback?"
Lily let out a long sigh.
"It's what I love doing, isn't it?"
"That didn't sound very excited."
"It's just... I don't know... I feel like I have so much more to say now through my music... but I simply can't."
Haewon reached up and brushed a loose strand of hair behind her wife's ear.
"Is this about us?"
"Everything is about us."
The two shared knowing little laughs.
"But do you know what really tears me apart?"
"What?"
"The tour." Lily sighed again, though she smiled. "It's incredible. If I could, I'd always be on stage. And getting to see different parts of the world is so freeing. But with every amazing thing, I can't help thinking about how much I'd rather be experiencing at least some of it with you. I'm away from you for months. I miss you, and I get lonely. I don't know what to do."
"Well, I just hope you never decide to find girls during the tour to make up for being lonely."
Lily placed a hand on Haewon's face and shoved her firmly, but it was no use, Haewon was already laughing out loud.
"You idiot! After everything I just said, that's all you have to say?"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, my love. See? My sense of humor is terrible."
"Now I actually have to agree!"
Haewon moved closer, wrapping an arm around her wife's waist while entwining her legs with hers.
"You know how I know you spend months waiting just to see me again?"
"I'm not sure I want to know."
"You always come back starving, Lily."
Lily blushed deeply, hoping the darkness would hide it.
"That's enough talking for today."
"Alright. Sorry for teasing you. Good night, babe."
Haewon cupped Lily's cheek with one hand, gently caressing it as she pulled her closer. Her lips slowly pressed a kiss to Lily's forehead before her hold around her waist tightened. Lily rested her head on Haewon's shoulder, just as she loved to do, and peacefully closed her eyes.
"Good night."
Haewon let out a relieved sigh and blinked once or twice before closing her own eyes. The problems at work, her somewhat troublesome coworkers, and the madness of the city all disappeared for that one brief moment. For that moment, she felt like everything was alright and there was nothing to worry about. Well, it wasn't anything new. It was simply the Lily effect.