My eternal heartbeat is being put to the test

It's the worst night of Akito Shinonome's life. Not only is he proven wrong about the Vivids in the most dramatic way possible, his partner and best friend--and more--abruptly breaks up with him, leaving Akito at a loss at what to do without him. But that's fine, because he'll just move on the way he always does.

...But then it's the worst night of Akito Shinonome's life again, and again, and again, and again, and again...somehow he's found himself trapped in a timeloop, and the only way to break free seems to be to stop Toya from leaving.

Akito Shinonome has never been a quitter, but...

Title from "Eien Hanahadashi" (Shishishishi)

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

It was a brand new morning.

Akito shut off his alarm and clambered out of bed, grabbing his jacket and pulling on his track pants. Without wasting any time he hurried down the stairs and dropped a few slices of bread into the toaster and turned it on, quickly stuffing the first piece into his mouth as he tied his sneakers. He liked to be methodical about his morning–the less headache there was, the better of a day he had.

With breakfast taken care of, he quickly brushed his teeth before grabbing his keys and phone. He stuffed them in his pocket as he hurried outside for his daily jog, breathing in the crisp autumn air. It was just early enough his usual route was clear of most pedestrians, and the resultant quiet was nice as always. It gave him time to think.

Our event at Mossy Stone is today at last.

Akito felt his pace quicken slightly. It’s just a typical event. It’s not worth freaking out over–I know Toya and I can handle it with all the practice we’ve been doing.

…But those two are planning on performing.

Honestly, Akito was still annoyed with how tough Kohane had acted the last time he’d seen her. Mouthing off to him with her shorter hair and brand new contacts like that was going to change anything about her resolve–what did she think she was doing?

Shiraishi’s babying her too much. A team where only one person knows what they’re doing isn’t worth anything.

I know that better than anyone.

So why’s she gone and done something this dumb?

I don’t get it at all.

What does she see in her?

These reflections continued on as he made his way back home and shrugged on his outfit for the day, pausing to warn Ena under pain of death not to touch the cheesecake he’d bought yesterday before leaving the house again.

Toya was waiting patiently by the entrance to Vivid Street, staring at his phone with a slightly distracted expression. “Yo,” Akito greeted, relishing the way his partner looked up and bobbed his head back in greeting. “You’re up early again.”

“You said you wanted to get in some practice before the event, so I figured you’d be up by this point,” Toya replied, pocketing his phone. “We’ve been meeting earlier than ever lately, after all.”

“Hell yeah. There’s no way I could go up there at our current level and mouth off about being better, you know?” Akito stretched, allowing his muscles to relax a little. “Plus, it’s Saturday, so we’ve gotta do whatever we can to be ready for tonight.”

Well, I say that, but there’s not much to worry about.

That shrimp can boast as much as she’d like, but just changing your appearance isn’t gonna help stage fright.

I bet she won’t last long even if Mita doesn’t mess with the power again.

…He’d better not go pulling that stunt again. Hopefully he learned his lesson after I covered for him.

Tch.

I don’t plan on pulling any punches, but I don’t wanna stoop that low.

“We’d better go over the setlist again,” Akito said out loud. “Better safe than sorry, you know? I don’t want us being the ones to lose our heads onstage. That’d be embarrassing.”

When Toya’s usual “hmm” of assent didn’t come, he looked curiously over at his partner. Toya was staring off into space with an oddly pensive, worried expression.

“Toya?” he prompted, making the other boy jump a little. “What’s up?”

“Oh…nothing.” Toya’s face seemed to smooth back into its usual careful neutrality. “Just thinking about tonight.”

“If you say so. We’re here, so better get your head in the game.”

His partner nodded firmly. “Alright.”

They started practice in their usual spot, warming up the way they always did. As they worked Akito’s thoughts drifted constantly back to the Vivids. Seriously, what’re they thinking?

You don’t recover from such an embarrassing show just like that. How’s Azusawa expecting things to go?

They’re acting like it’s all just peachy. Give me a break.

They’ll figure it out when they flop again tonight.

The day wore on, almost dragging on too slowly for his liking. Akito was never one to turn down an opportunity to practice, but he was itching to hit the event already.

Finally, finally, the sky began to darken and the crowds began to gather, and at last the doors to the venue they were playing at opened. Akito pushed past the chattering rabble–Toya right behind him like always–and made his way backstage, where the other performers were waiting. This is it.

I’ll show ‘em for sure this time.

“Time to put your money where your mouth is,” he said haughtily as they approached An and Kohane. “Let’s see what you can do.”

“Careful what you wish for. We’ve come prepared with our best song yet!” An retorted, sticking her tongue out at him. “Oh, and just make sure you don't pull some cowardly stunt like last time.”

He clicked his tongue in disapproval. “As if I’d stoop that low.”

God damn it, Mita, he thought, shooting a glare at the boy nearby as the girls skipped off. He jumped and hurried away. I swear I’ll get his hide for this later.

…I guess it’s my fault for taking the blame.

Well, whatever.

“We’re on first today. Let’s show ‘em what real talent looks like,” he said, glancing back at Toya…who was zoning out again, staring at the girls. “Hey, Toya?”

“So bright,” he heard the other boy murmur over the backstage buzz.

“Bright? What is?”

Toya flinched the tiniest bit before quickly shaking his head. “It’s nothing. Let’s go, Akito.”

…What’s up with him?

Well, whatever. We can talk about it later.

We’ve got a show to take care of, though.

He yanked the mic off the table and headed for the stage, pausing only to grin at Toya as the lights flickered on again. It doesn’t matter what they do. They’re no match for us like this.

We’ve been together longer. God knows we’ve worked harder, too.

You can’t surpass RAD WEEKEND just by picking up some rando. What happened to all her talk about finding someone with the same resolve?

She’ll figure it out sooner or later when they crash and burn. Azusawa doesn’t have what it takes.

But we do.

And that’s why we’re going to be the ones that surpass it!

The music kicked on and immediately Akito launched into his first line, keeping a tight hold on his voice as it wavered the slightest bit. There couldn’t be any mistakes, not now and not ever–he’d worked hours, days, weeks, months, years just to get even a little closer to his dream.

And now some random-ass nobody wanted to look him in the eye and tell him she would be the one to surpass RAD WEEKEND?

Hell no.

I won’t let it happen!

The rest of the show was a blur, but distantly Akito knew the extra effort that week had paid off. His and Toya’s voices knit together as well as they usually did, his partner’s presence right behind him the way it always was. It was reassuring amidst his frustration to know that Toya would always have his back.

That’s why it’s gonna be us.

“We’re BAD DOGS!” he yelled as the music finally ended, saluting the crowd as they backed offstage. “Thanks for coming tonight!”

He grabbed his bottle and took a long draught, raising his eyebrows at An as she and Kohane hurried forward. “Your turn. Not gonna let us down now, are you?”

“Just you watch. I expect you to be in the front row,” she snarked, tossing her head. “Come on, Kohane! Let’s give ‘em a taste of our best song!”

“Yeah!” Kohane squeaked, shooting him what looked like a confident grin as she hurried into the wings.

“Tsk,” Akito muttered as he set his bottle down. “Let’s go find a place to watch.”

“...Alright.”

Toya trailed behind him as Akito led him through the crowd towards the front “row” as An had demanded. He didn’t say anything–which wasn’t out of character for Toya–but Akito got the feeling he was thinking carefully.

He’s been a little spacey today.

Maybe I should pry a little…

Nah, I’ll just leave him be.

He’ll tell me when he’s ready.

Anyway, we’ve gotta see how they take this.

Akito folded his arms and watched as An and Kohane bounced out onstage, waving eagerly to the crowd as the opening to BRING IT ON started. She’s not quailed yet. That’s good, I guess.

Last time she did alright until Mita cut the power…but it’s not like she was that great, anyway.

Let’s see what she’s actually made of this ti–

Kohane lifted the microphone and began to sing, and Akito felt his whole world tip abruptly upside down.

Huh?

Her voice was nothing like it had been last time. It was still soft, and had that typical newbie edge to it–but it was much more powerful, and it didn’t shake quite as much this time.

She was able to hold longer notes better, too, and she didn’t trip up over the rap parts as much. She didn’t look so out of place next to An anymore–she was still clearly miles away from completely matching up to her skill, but the power and resolve in her voice was clear as glass.

…It’s just like…

Fuck, it’s just like–

“I thought so.”

Akito stared up at Toya in shock as he spoke, smiling just a little. “Those two are the same as you.”

“The same as me?” he repeated, dazed.

His partner tilted his head gently towards the stage, where the Vivids were still singing. “Don't you think it's about time you just admitted it?”

The same as me…

Are they really?

Honestly, he would really be stupid to deny it any further.

He’d demanded proof, and now he had it. Kohane was true to her word–she did have the resolve.

Those two…

“We're the Vivids!” An yelled, waving her hands above her head. He could see Kohane shyly copying her. “Did everyone enjoy the show?!”

She was answered by the audience’s absolutely roaring cheers. “Uh, t-thank you!” he heard Kohane squeak out into her mic. This was met with cheers almost as loud.

He couldn’t help snort. What a shrimp.

…Still, she…

“We may be new at this, but one day we're going to throw an event that'll surpass even RAD WEEKEND!” An announced, her grin suddenly particularly smug as her gaze swept over his face. “We hope you'll be there to support us!”

“Well? You finally convinced about Kohane’s ability?”

“Why do you sound so proud of yourself?” Akito scoffed. Geez, you’d think she raised her or something.

Still, I guess anyone would be proud to see their partner do so well…

I remember our first live together.

I guess they’re really not so different.

“I admit it,” Akito said at last. “It looks like you might have the resolve after all.”

He crossed his arms, taking his first real look at the two since he’d first seen Kohane in the cafe all those days ago. “So let me ask you this. Are you two actually serious about surpassing RAD WEEKEND?”

“Of course!” An shot back, Kohane beaming beside her.

“...I see.”

Damn it.

It looks like Toya was right the whole time.

So annoying.

“Your song was great,” he muttered. “Sorry about messing things up before.”

Both girls looked startled. “Huh?” Kohane stammered, looking as though she couldn’t decide whether to be surprised or happy. “Uh, um…t-thank you!”

An chuckled. “That was easier than I expected. Could it be that you're actually more honest than I thought?”

“Oh, shut up,” Akito groaned. “If that's all, then get out of here already.”

“Alright, alright! Oh, but before we go,” she added. “You two weren't half bad yourselves. Good job~”

“Now hold on a minute…”

“Come on, Kohane! Let's go get changed.”

“Sure!”

And so the two left at last, Kohane shooting him one last awkward smile. So full of themselves.

“Ugh. Let’s get going, Toya. We're going to need to change up the set list for the next event,” Akito muttered, grabbing his bottle and stuffing it in his bag. “We're going to put on a performance that'll make them regret ever messing with us, you hear me?”

Surprisingly, Toya didn’t answer, just stared at the ground.

He’s spacing out again.

Or…he’s thinking.

Something heavy’s on his mind.

Maybe I should’ve said something sooner.

“Toya?” he tried. “What’s wrong?”

At last his partner took a deep breath, not once raising his head. “Akito, I…”

There was an agonizing beat of silence as he waited for the other boy to finish.

“I can’t perform with you anymore.”

“You…you can’t perform anymore? What are you talking about?” Akito repeated, unable to make sense of what he was hearing. “You know you aren't any good with jokes, so stop messing around.”

“This isn't a joke,” Toya muttered. He still wouldn’t meet his eyes.

What’s he going on about?

He can’t perform anymore…what’s that supposed to mean?

Is it…?

“What's wrong?” he asked again, now more worried than he’d ever been. “Did your old man say something again?”

Toya seemed to hesitate just a second longer before looking back up.

“This is my own decision,” he answered at last. His expression was colder than Akito had ever seen it. “Our kind of music doesn't mean anything, Akito. It's just a bunch of kids making some noise.”

“...Are you being serious right now?”

Why is this happening?

What is he saying?

Toya is–

Toya–

“You're the one who said I wasn't any good at making jokes,” Toya said coolly.

“That’s going too far and you know it,” Akito growled, clenching his fist around his bag strap to try and calm himself. “Our music has no meaning? Why don’t you try saying that again? I won’t take this, not even from you, Toya!”

Something almost familiar flashed across Toya’s expression, but it was gone faster than he could read it. “What are you gonna do if you quit, anyway? Go crawling back and let your dad control you again after saying how much you hated it?!” he yelled. “How is that any more meaningful?!”

Toya took a step back towards the exit, halting in place only when Akito seized his arm. “Let go of me,” the other boy snapped.

“Like hell I will! This conversation isn’t over, Toya!”

Abruptly Toya yanked his arm out of his grip. “Don't you think it's about time you grew up and stopped chasing after some tiny event that no one's even heard of outside of this town?”

“You–!”

Before he could stop himself Akito seized Toya’s shirt and yanked him forward again, bringing his fist against the tiny beauty mark on his cheek as hard as he could.

The other boy stumbled back with a gasp, clumsily grabbing for his bag without looking up. “Fine. Leave, then,” Akito snarled, shoving his bottle into his chest. “And don’t ever show your face around here again.”

Toya straightened upright, not bothering to raise his head as he left at last.

Akito forced himself to grab the rest of his things and take the other exit, refusing to be near him for any longer than necessary.

If he looked at the horrible mark he’d left on Toya’s face he was going to be sick.

♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

It was a brand new morning.

With breakfast taken care of he quickly brushed his teeth before grabbing his keys and phone. He stuffed them in his pocket as he hurried outside for his daily jog, breathing in the crisp autumn air. It was just early enough his usual route was clear of most pedestrians, and the resultant quiet was nice as always. It gave him time to think.

What do I do?

Unfortunately, today Akito didn’t really feel like thinking.

Did that really happen?

There’s no way Toya would’ve actually said all that, right?

Toya’s face swam in and out of his vision, cold and hard like ice on the surface of a lake. He still had no idea what emotions it was hiding–did Toya really hate their music so much?

…Did he mean it?

Did he really not want to keep going with me?

It hurt.

Akito slowed down as he approached the turn that led back home, trying to make sense of it all. He was still reeling.

I don’t know how to make sense of it.

How long has he been feeling that way? And why did he just suddenly snap like that?

Was it even real?

He thought about it just a little more, trying his hardest to ground himself.

…If it was real…

If it was real, then I’ve got no choice but to just keep going.

That was what he always did.

It didn’t matter who got in his way or who insulted him, Akito never stopped. Why would now be any different?

I just have to keep going.

Even without him, I…

I have to keep singing.

These reflections continued on as he made his way back home and shrugged on his outfit for the day, pausing to tiredly warn Ena under pain of death not to touch the cheesecake he’d bought the other day before leaving the house again. She seemed to hesitate before biting back, but he was out the door before she could say anything.

Toya was waiting patiently by the entrance to Vivid Street, staring at his phone with a slightly distracted expression. Akito stopped in his tracks and stared–what the fuck is he doing here?!

Didn’t he…

Didn’t he just–?!

Before he could rationalize the audacity before him Toya looked up and saw him. “Oh. Good morning, Akito.”

…Why’s he acting like nothing happened?

What’s going on?

“Akito?” Toya’s brow furrowed the tiniest bit. “Are you alright? You look…”

“Oh–I’m fine,” Akito said hastily, trying to fix his expression. “Just…just was confused for a second.”

“We are meeting early for practice, right?” Toya asked, looking a little worried. “I was sure we’d agreed to meet last night…”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. Don’t worry.”

“Ah. That’s good to know.”

They fell into step beside each other, the rhythm nice and easy. Gradually Akito felt the tension in his shoulders loosen and fade away until he was completely relaxed again.

It must’ve just been a dream.

Too much crazy shit happened anyway. First that shrimp actually does well onstage, then Toya pulls that…

There’s no way it could’ve been real.

“You’re rather quiet.”

“Just thinking,” Akito said, shooting him a smile. “I think I had a bad dream. That’s all.”

…Thank God it wasn’t real.

I’m glad he’s here.

The day wore on, almost dragging on too slowly for his liking. Akito was never one to turn down an opportunity to practice, but he was itching to hit the event already.

I’ll show ‘em for sure this time.

Something felt off, though.

What’s with this constant sense of deja vu?

“Well, it’s time to put your money where your mouth is,” he said haughtily as they approached An and Kohane, trying to figure out what was bothering him so much about the night. “Let’s see what you can do.”

He clicked his tongue in disapproval. “As if.”

Maybe it’s just my imagination.

“We’re on first today. Let’s show ‘em what real talent looks like,” he said, glancing back at Toya…who was zoning out again, staring at the girls. “Hey, Toya?”

“So bright,” he heard the other boy murmur over the backstage buzz.

“Bright? What is?”

Toya flinched the tiniest bit before quickly shaking his head. “It’s nothing. Let’s go, Akito.”

…What’s up with him?

Well, whatever. We can talk about it later.

We’ve got a show to take care of…

Akito had a bad feeling about this, though.

“Hey,” he said gently, catching Toya’s sleeve. “Are you sure everything’s alright, Toya?”

His partner hesitated for a moment. “Yes,” he said at last. “Don’t worry, Akito.”

“If you say so.”

He was probably coming off as clingy or something embarrassing like that, but Akito couldn’t hold back one last try. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

“...Yes.”

That’s all I wanted to hear.

Akito released Toya’s sleeve at last, trying for an awkward smile. “Well, let’s hurry and get out there. We’ve gotta show those two who they’re messing with, you know?”

Toya nodded, although he swore he looked less enthused than he usually did before events. “Alright. Let’s go.”

At last they entered the wings. Akito yanked the mic off the table and headed for the stage, pausing only to grin at Toya as the lights flickered on again. That’s right. It doesn’t matter what they do. They’re no match for us like this.

We’ve been together longer. God knows we’ve worked harder, too.

You can’t surpass RAD WEEKEND just by picking up some rando. What happened to all her talk about finding someone with the same resolve?

She’ll figure it out sooner or later when they crash and burn. Azusawa doesn’t have what it takes.

But we do.

He impatiently smothered the flicker of anxiety inside him–now was not the time to be listening to his worst fears.

And that’s why we’re going to be the ones that surpass it!

And now some random-ass nobody wanted to look him in the eye and tell him she would be the one to surpass RAD WEEKEND?

Hell no.

I won’t let it happen!

That’s why it’s gonna be us.

Right?

“We’re BAD DOGS, everyone!” he yelled as the music finally ended, saluting the crowd as they backed offstage. “Thanks for coming out to hear us tonight!”

He grabbed his bottle and took a long draught, raising his eyebrows at An as she and Kohane hurried forward. “Your turn. Not gonna let us down now, are you?”

“Just you watch. I expect you to be in the front row,” she snarked, tossing her head. “Come on, Kohane! Let’s give ‘em a taste of our best song!”

“Yeah!” Kohane squeaked, shooting him what looked like a confident grin as she hurried into the wings.

“Oh, well,” Akito sighed, setting his bottle down again. “Let’s go find a place to watch, Toya.”

“...Alright.”

He’s really worried about something.

He’ll tell me, right?

Should I pry more?

Or should I just let him be?

Akito debated asking again what the matter was but decided to just leave it be. If it’s not important, he won’t tell me. Toya’s just like that.

Anyways, we’ve got a show to watch.

Time to see how these two handle it.

Akito folded his arms and watched as An and Kohane bounced out onstage, waving eagerly to the crowd as the opening to BRING IT ON started. She’s not quailed yet. That’s good, I guess.

Last time…

Last time?

Didn’t she handle it well last time…?

…No, that was a dream. Idiot.

I must be tired.

It doesn’t matter. Let’s see how she handles th–

Kohane lifted the microphone and began to sing, and Akito felt his whole world tip abruptly upside down.

Huh?

Her voice was nothing like it had been last time. It was still soft, and had that typical newbie edge to it–but it was much more powerful, and it didn’t shake quite as much this time.

…It’s just like…

What else am I remembering?

“I thought so.”

Akito jumped as Toya spoke, ridiculously spooked for some reason he couldn’t name. “Those two are the same as you.”

“The same as me?” he repeated, shaking his head to clear it.

His partner tilted his head gently towards the stage, where the Vivids were still singing. “Don't you think it's about time you just admitted it?”

What?

Why do I feel so nervous?

“We're the Vivids!” An yelled, waving her hands above her head. He could see Kohane shyly copying her. “Did everyone enjoy the show?!”

She was answered by the audience’s absolutely roaring cheers. “Uh, t-thank you!” he heard Kohane squeak out into her mic. This was met with cheers almost as loud.

Akito should’ve been incensed, but the uneasiness that had been building inside him all morning was only growing louder by the minute.

Was it really all a dream?

“Well? You finally convinced about Kohane’s ability?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m convinced,” Akito muttered. For some reason he didn’t have the energy to bite back at her. “You did great. Congrats on not flopping like last time.”

“Hey, I’ll remind you she only messed up ‘cause you were a jerk,” An said sharply, crossing her arms. “Geez, don’t you know how to admit when you’re wrong?”

Honestly. She’s so eager to start a fight.

…I’d do the same if someone was talking to my partner this way, I guess.

And she does think I intentionally ruined their show last time. Stupid Mita.

Stupid me.

Well, whatever.

“I admit it,” Akito said at last. “It looks like you might have the resolve after all.”

“Of course!” Kohane answered, beaming.

“...I see.”

Damn it.

I guess they’re not bad after all.

“Your song was good,” he muttered. “Sorry about messing things up before.”

Both girls looked startled. “Huh?” Kohane stammered, looking as though she couldn’t decide whether to be surprised or happy. “Uh, um…t-thank you!”

An chuckled. “That was easier than I expected. Could it be that you're actually more honest than I thought?”

“Oh, shut up,” Akito groaned, rolling his eyes. “If that's all, then get out of here already.”

“Alright, alright! Oh, but before we go,” she added. “You two weren't half bad yourselves. Good job~”

“Now hold on a minute…”

“Come on, Kohane! Let's go get changed.”

“Sure!”

And so the two left at last, An shooting him one last snarky grin. So full of themselves.

Surprisingly Toya didn’t answer, just stared at the ground.

He’s spacing out again.

Or…he’s thinking.

Alarm bells abruptly began ringing in his head.

Fuck.

If he says what I think he’s about to–

“I can’t perform with you anymore,” Toya blurted.

“B-But why?”

That horrible sense of deja vu was pressing against him, so heavy Akito could hardly breathe. “Seriously, what’s going on?” he stammered. “You know saying stuff like that isn’t funny, Toya.”

“This isn't a joke,” Toya muttered. He wouldn’t meet his eyes.

Why’s this happening?

Wasn’t this a dream?

How do I make it stop?

“Can’t you at least tell me why?” he asked again, now more panicked than he’d ever been. “Did your old man say something again? W-What’s going on?” And how can I fix it?

I can’t lose Toya.

If there’s something I can do to stop this, then please–

Toya seemed to hesitate just a second longer before looking back up.

…What the hell?

Who does he think he is to say something like that?

Even it’s Toya–

“You don’t have the right to say that,” Akito growled, clenching his fist around his bag strap to try and calm himself. “You of all people–”

Something almost familiar flashed across Toya’s expression, but it was gone faster than he could read it. “What are you gonna do if you quit, anyway? G-Go crawling back and let your dad control you again or something?!” he yelled, fury and anguish almost making him sick. “How is that any more meaningful, huh?!”

Toya took a step back towards the exit, halting in place only when Akito seized his arm. “Let go of me,” the other boy snapped.

“Like hell I will! This conversation isn’t over, Toya!”

Abruptly Toya yanked his arm out of his grip, disdain more potent than any emotion he’d ever seen on his face twisting his expression. “Don't you think it's about time you grew up and stopped chasing after some tiny event that no one's even heard of outside of this town?”

“You–!”

Before he could stop himself Akito seized Toya’s shirt and yanked him forward again, bringing his fist against the tiny beauty mark on his cheek as hard as he could.

The other boy stumbled back with a gasp, clumsily grabbing for his bag without looking up. “Fine, then leave!” Akito snarled, shoving his bottle into his chest. “And don’t ever show your face around here again, you hear me?!”

Toya straightened upright, not bothering to raise his head as he left at last.

Akito wanted to crumple onto the floor and cry, but he managed to grab the rest of his things and leave by the other exit.

He could’ve sworn he bumped into An on the way–heard her call out to him–but he shoved past and hurried away, wishing the horrid nightmare around him would end.

♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

It was a brand new morning.

Akito shut off his alarm and clambered out of bed, grabbing his jacket and pulling on his track pants. Without wasting any time he hurried down the stairs and dropped a few slices of bread into the toaster and turned it on, quickly stuffing the first piece into his mouth as he tied his sneakers. He liked to be methodical about his morning, after all–and today he felt as though if he dared to break his routine he’d fall apart.

Unfortunately.

…It wasn’t a dream.

The thought bounced around his head like a screensaver. Akito barely noticed the direction he was running in, only able to focus on the horrible feeling in his stomach.

Toya really quit singing.

I want to say it was a dream, but it doesn’t look like it was. That was all real.

Does Toya hate me?

Did he really hate street music so badly?

If so, then why did he keep playing it?

I don’t get it.

I don’t get it at all.

What do I do?

Should I try and reach out to him?

…Haven’t I already done this?

These reflections continued on as he made his way back home and shrugged on his outfit for the day, ignoring Ena completely as she asked about the cheesecake in the fridge. He didn’t have the heart to care, and really, it seemed like he’d already warned her about it twice now. He really needed to eat it before it went bad…

Toya was waiting patiently by the entrance to Vivid Street, staring at his phone with a slightly distracted expression. Akito was speechless.

He’s here again.

What’s happening?

Isn’t he supposed to be gone?

Am I going crazy? I could’ve sworn–

“Akito?”

Toya was standing before him, a hand pressed to his forehead. “You don’t seem to have a fever,” he murmured. “But you look unwell. What’s the matter?”

“...What day is it?”

His…the other boy blinked, looking confused. “Saturday. We were planning to meet up and practice early, right?”

“Yeah,” Akito managed, trying to breathe like a normal human and not someone who’d just come to a horrible realization. “I–let’s go. We’ve gotta work as much as possible before tonight.”

Toya nodded, glancing at him in what seemed to be concern before turning and heading down the road.

…Why?

Why is this happening?

“...The time loop or temporal loop is a plot device in fiction whereby characters re-experience a span of time which is repeated, sometimes more than once, with some hope of breaking out of the cycle of repetition…”

Akito carefully read the article amid the cafe buzz around him, trying to make sense of the predicament he’d found himself in. He couldn’t believe it had taken him an extra day to realize it–curse his stupid desperation to believe the first day had been a dream.

So.

I’m stuck in a timeloop.

It was completely ridiculous, but Akito didn’t have any choice but to accept it was happening. He’d met Toya Saturday morning three times now–that couldn’t be normal in the slightest.

Besides, he’d now seen Toya reject him twice now only to find the other boy waiting patiently at Vivid Street to meet him the next morning. There was no sign of the bruise Akito had left on his face twice now, either.

And even if the other boy was just an expert trickster the entire time, he couldn’t trick the date on Akito’s phone. It was September 19th still–Saturday, the day of the event at Mossy Stone–and it had been September 19th for three days.

…I’ve lived through the same day three times now.

I’ll have to fight with Toya every single day until I figure out how to break out of it.

But how do I break out of it?

“Akito, you’ve hardly touched your pancakes,” Toya pointed out. “Is something wrong?”

“Huh?” Akito focused on him with difficulty, finally registering that he was talking to him. “Oh. No, just looking something up.”

The other boy frowned. “Can it wait? Your food is going to get cold.”

“Fine.”

…What’s he playing at?

In just a few hours he’s gonna tell me to grow up and stop being stupid.

Why’s he acting so nice now?

Akito surveyed Toya warily as he sipped his coffee, looking for all the world like his normal self. What changed?

He was normal all day…right?

I can’t remember anymore.

Did I do something that pissed him off?

But why didn’t he say anything?

“...Toya?”

The other boy immediately looked back at him. “What is it?”

Akito hesitated.

What did I do wrong?

“Nothing,” he muttered. “We’re still on for the event tonight, right?”

Toya’s mouth flattened into a thin line, but he nodded. “Yes. Tonight’s the event with Shiraishi and Azusawa, right?”

“Yeah, that one. We’re gonna show ‘em who’s really gonna surpass RAD WEEKEND, right?”

Right?

Aren’t you going to surpass RAD WEEKEND with me?

An eternity seemed to pass, but in reality only a few seconds went by before Toya nodded. “Right.”

Liar.

Akito sliced a bite off his pancakes, unable to look at the other boy’s face anymore.

The day wore on, the remaining hours he had before Toya betrayed him slipping rapidly through his fingers. Akito tried to look on the bright side as the day waned–he now had an infinite source of time to practice without having to worry about school–but the thought that he might have to live through the one day for the rest of his life wasn’t any comfort.

Unfortunately the sky began to darken and the crowds began to gather, and although for once he wished they’d wait just a little longer the doors to the venue they were playing at opened. Reluctantly Akito pushed past the chattering rabble–Toya right behind him like always–and made his way backstage, where the other performers were waiting. Here we go again.

“Time to put your money where your mouth is,” he called as they approached An and Kohane, trying to keep his usual venom in his tone. He failed miserably. “Let’s see what you can do.”

“I don’t plan on it,” Akito said tiredly. “Just make sure you actually try.”

An scoffed. “I told you, we’re gonna rock your socks off! Don’t go doubting us right before we kick your ass!”

“We’re going to try, Shinonome-kun,” Kohane replied, managing a fierce smile. “J-Just you wait and see.”

Ugh.

I’m so sick of this.

“Let’s go, Toya,” he said shortly, slamming his bag down on the table and setting off for the wings. “We’ve got a show to take care of.”

“...Alright.”

My last show with Toya.

If I’d known, I…

Why didn’t he say anything sooner?

Why did he let this go on for so long if he hated it this much?

He yanked the mic off the table and headed for the stage, pausing only to glance at Toya as the lights flickered on again. I don’t know what’s going through his head right now.

It’s scary.

What is he thinking? Is he even enjoying himself the way he used to?

Did he ever enjoy this?

I could’ve sworn he did, but–

Whatever.

I have to sing.

And now it was falling apart around him.

My dream…

It was so much closer when Toya was there.

What will I do now?

What can I do?

The rest of the show was a blur, but distantly Akito knew that his emotions were obvious to anyone listening–the crowd’s cheers were just a little less loud than they’d been the last two times he did this. His and Toya’s voices didn’t knit together as well as they usually did–perhaps it was because he was so confused, or maybe it was because Toya no longer cared.

How do I fix this?

“We’re BAD DOGS!” he yelled as the music finally ended, trying to ignore the catch in his voice as they backed offstage. “Thanks for coming tonight!”

He grabbed his bottle and took a long draught, halfheartedly raising his eyebrows at An as she and Kohane hurried forward. “Your turn. Not gonna let us down now, are you?”

“Just you watch. I expect you to be in the front row,” she snarked, tossing her head. “Now come on, Kohane! Let’s give ‘em a taste of our best song!”

“Yeah!” Kohane squeaked, shooting him what looked like a brave smile as she hurried into the wings.

“Come on,” Akito said into the silence, not bothering to look at Toya as he set his bottle back down. “Let’s go find a place to stand.”

“...Alright.”

Toya trailed behind him as Akito led him through the crowd towards the front “row” as An had demanded. He didn’t say anything–which wasn’t out of character for Toya–and now that he had an idea as to why it frustrated him.

Akito folded his arms and watched as An and Kohane bounced out onstage, waving eagerly to the crowd as the opening to BRING IT ON started. I can’t even care about this anymore.

It’s clear Azusawa has the resolve I thought she was missing. There’s nothing I can do about it, though.

Even if we could be honest rivals, now that I’m like this…

Is this the end?

Is there anything I can do to get out of this and get back to normal?

He could feel Toya’s gaze on him as he stared at the two onstage, but he refused to meet it.

“Those two are just like you,” Toya said quietly as the song wore on.

“...Oh, yeah?”

Are they now?

What did you mean by that, anyway?

“We're the Vivids!” An yelled, waving her hands above her head. He could see Kohane shyly copying her. “Did everyone enjoy the show?!”

She was answered by the audience’s absolutely roaring cheers. “Uh, t-thank you!” he heard Kohane squeak out into her mic. This was met with cheers almost as loud.

“Well? You finally convinced about Kohane’s ability?”

“Yeah, I’m convinced alright,” Akito muttered. “I see you’ve got the resolve to surpass RAD WEEKEND. You’re not just talk after all.”

He did mean it, but he’d now had this conversation three times. He was getting thoroughly sick of the whole affair.

Knowing what followed immediately after it was the worst part.

“...Your singing was good. I have a feeling you’re better than I thought.”

Still, it was important to acknowledge that he’d lost just this one time.

Both girls looked startled. “Huh?” Kohane stammered, looking as though she couldn’t decide whether to be surprised or happy. “Uh, um…t-thank you!”

An chuckled. “That was easier than I expected. Could it be that you're actually more honest than I thought?”

“Oh, shut up,” Akito groaned, unable to keep his frustration out of his tone. “If that's all, then just get out of here already.”

“Alright, alright! Oh, but before we go,” she added. “You two weren't half bad yourselves. Good job~”

Akito didn’t have the energy for a comeback, and An just smiled. “Come on, Kohane! Let's go get changed.”

“Sure!”

And so the two left at last, Kohane shooting him one last awkward smile.

Bullshit.

All that practice just for us to fall apart onstage…

We were so good before.

Why is he just throwing it away?

It was completely silent as Akito packed his things up, wondering halfheartedly if he didn’t say anything this time Toya would stay.

Is there any way I can change his mind?

I know it’s going to happen now, so maybe if I just change the way I argue–

“Akito, I…”

It was his partner that broke the silence at last.

“I can’t perform with you anymore.”

He’d heard the words three times now and they only made him sicker every time.

“...Why?”

Akito turned back to face Toya, gritting his teeth at the sight of how the other boy refused to meet his gaze. “Tell me why,” he snapped. “If you’re gonna just leave without warning, don’t you think I deserve the reason why?”

Toya hesitated. Why, he didn’t know–Toya was always supposed to be honest.

“Why are you saying this, anyway? Is someone—is your dad messing with you?” Akito was well aware he was only delaying the inevitable, but maybe, just maybe he’d stumble onto the reason this time. “Is your dad telling you you can’t perform anymore?”

Please, can’t it be that?

Akito could handle Harumichi’s hatred. He was used to it.

He couldn’t handle Toya’s.

“This is my own decision,” the other boy answered at last. “Our kind of music doesn't mean anything, Akito. It's just a bunch of kids making some noise.”

He’d heard the words three times now, and they still enraged him.

Why?!

“But why?!”

Akito slammed his fist against the wall beside him, not caring for the sharp pain that followed. “Why didn’t you say anything?! Why did you keep performing with me if you hated street music so much?!”

Why did you stay my friend so long if you never cared?!

Toya didn’t say anything, only staring at the wall just a short distance away from Akito’s face. “Answer me!” Akito yelled, seizing his shirt with his bloody hand and yanking him forward. “Was it all meaningless, Toya?! Did nothing we did really mean anything to you?!”

Wasn’t it fun?!

Didn’t you have fun being with me?!

“...No.”

Toya met his eyes as he spoke, expression more closed off than he’d seen it in years.

“None of it meant anything.”

Akito shoved him back towards the wall and yanked his bag off the table, slamming the door open and leaving the live house behind.

♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

It was a brand new morning.

Akito shut off his alarm and clambered out of bed, grabbing his jacket and pulling on his track pants. Without wasting any time he hurried down the stairs and yanked the cheesecake he’d been saving out of the fridge, tucking into it without a second thought. He liked to be methodical about his morning, and running on nothing but cheesecake probably wasn’t healthy in the long run–but it wasn’t like it was affecting him.

It had already been a week since that first day, and Akito was still stuck in the timeloop.

He’d fought with Toya eight times now, and he still hadn’t gotten any closer to breaking out. For starters, even if he knew it was coming it was impossible to stay calm when the voice he’d gotten used to loving suddenly turned harsh and cold–Akito had hurt his partner several times now, and it felt rotten.

…Even if he’s betrayed me every time…

I hate that I can’t stay calm.

If I could just stay calm…

But Toya seemed dead-set on leaving, and his argument changed every time. Even when Akito thought he was prepared the other boy still blindsided him.

It’s like he knows exactly what to say to rile me up.

He’s doing it on purpose. Even I know that.

But why?

What’s he hiding?

Akito had become surer and surer with each day that something had changed, that Toya hadn’t been feeling this way since they teamed up–but he still couldn’t figure out what it was.

Well, I won’t find out just thinking about it.

I should head that way soon.

His idle worries continued on as he made his way back home and shrugged on his outfit for the day, tuning Ena’s complaints about him eating the cheesecake out before leaving the house again.

Toya was waiting patiently by the entrance to Vivid Street, staring at his phone with a slightly distracted expression. “Yo,” Akito greeted on autopilot, relishing the way his partner looked up and bobbed his head back in greeting–it was one of the last times he would see such a normal expression. “You’re up early again.”

“I figured you would want to practice some before the event tonight,” Toya replied, pocketing his phone. “We’ve been meeting earlier than ever lately, after all.”

“Well, duh. There’s no way I could go up there at our current level and mouth off about being better, you know?” Akito stretched, allowing his muscles to relax a little. “Plus, it’s Saturday, so we’ve gotta do whatever we can to be ready for tonight.”

Well, I say that, but there’s not much to worry about.

I could recite what happens today in my sleep. Me and Shiraishi argue, she and Azusawa get up onstage after us and surprise me with how good they actually are, I apologize, they praise us, Toya leaves…

It’s going to be the same no matter what I do.

He sighed and turned his thoughts away. At least he could still practice.

…Well, it didn’t mean anything, but at least it kept him from losing his head just a little longer.

Akito had noticed after being stuck for eight consecutive days that nothing he did seemed to affect the next loop. Even after he’d punched the wall on day three he’d woken up to a hand that bore no scars from the incident whatsoever, and even though he’d stayed up all night on day six he’d woken up fully refreshed the next morning. No matter what he did to his body it was smoothly, surgically clean again when he woke up again.

His voice hadn’t changed at all in the past week, either–it hadn’t declined, at least, but he hadn’t made any notable improvements, either.

As such, there was nothing to even think of as “the bright side” anymore.

What a pain.

Why’s this happened, anyway?

I still don’t have any answers.

How did I get stuck in a timeloop today of all days?

I don’t understand it.

…How do I get out of it?

The day wore on, the time gleefully slipping through his fingers. He couldn’t even complain anymore–Akito was never one to turn down an opportunity to practice, but he was itching to hit the event already so this day could end.

He knew it would only begin again, but maybe something would be different tomorrow.

Or maybe today’s the day I get through to him.

I wonder if there’s any point in this anymore.

“Time to put your money where your mouth is,” he said coldly as they approached An and Kohane. “Let’s see what you can do.”

He clicked his tongue in disapproval. “As if I’d stoop that low.”

God damn it, Mita, he thought, shooting a glare at the boy nearby as the girls skipped off. He jumped and hurried away. I shouldn’t have stuck up for him.

…I dragged Toya down with me, didn’t I?

Maybe that’s why he’s upset.

Where would I be if I hadn’t taken the blame for Mita?

Would it have changed anything?

Geez, why can’t I be stuck me on that day just so I can see if it would change anything?

Unfortunately you couldn’t just run from the consequences of your actions. Akito was well aware of that.

All he could do was make do with what he had and hope it did something.

“It’s our turn, so let’s get onstage already,” he said hollowly, glancing back at his distracted partner. “You listening?”

Toya jumped a little before nodding. “Yes. It’s our turn?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

They stepped onstage, Akito taking a deep breath as the lights began to flicker on. Our last show.

I have to make it count.

Maybe this is the key.

If I could just remind him of how it feels to sing together–

Of what it’s like when we’re together–

Maybe, maybe, maybe–

He didn’t understand anything that was happening. Why had Toya changed so suddenly and so violently?

I have to know.

I have to try.

I can’t lose Toya.

Toya meant so, so much to him–he was the one who’d joined Akito, the one who’d stood by Akito, the one who’d opened up to Akito–he was the one and there was no one on this planet that could replace him.

Akito could not lose him.

The rest of the show was a blur, but distantly Akito knew his desperation had to be shining through. His and Toya’s voices knit together as well as they usually did, his partner’s presence right behind him the way it always was. It felt horrible to know that despite their synergy, despite how well they worked together–

–Toya no longer wanted to be his partner.

It hurt.

“We’re BAD DOGS!” he yelled as the music finally ended, saluting the crowd as they backed offstage. “Thanks for coming tonight!”

He grabbed his bottle and took a long draught, raising his eyebrows at An as she and Kohane hurried forward. “Your turn. Not gonna let us down now, are you?”

“Just you watch. I expect you to be in the front row,” she snarked, tossing her head–although there was an unfamiliar look in her eye he couldn’t place. “Come on, Kohane! Let’s give ‘em a taste of our best song!”

“Yeah!” Kohane squeaked, shooting him what looked like a happy grin as she hurried into the wings.

“Tsk,” Akito muttered as he set his bottle down a little too hard. A slightly unpleasant sound followed this–maybe it had broken–but he paid it no mind, knowing it wouldn’t matter by tomorrow. “Let’s go find a place to watch.”

“...Alright.”

Toya trailed behind him as Akito led him through the crowd towards the front “row” as An had demanded. He didn’t say anything, and Akito wanted to hit him for it.

Stop clamming up.

Why can’t you just tell me what’s going on?

They reached the front of the crowd at last. Akito folded his arms and watched as An and Kohane bounced out onstage, waving eagerly to the crowd as the opening to BRING IT ON started. Here we go again.

Their singing really is good. I bet they’re gonna go far, honestly.

Unlike Toya and me, they’re…

Whatever.

“They’re so bright,” Toya murmured. “Akito, don’t you think?”

“...Yeah. They are.”

What are you thinking right now?

Akito risked a glance up at his partner’s face, wondering halfheartedly what thoughts were going through his head as he watched the Vivids.

Eventually the music ended. “We're the Vivids!” An yelled, waving her hands above her head. He could see Kohane shyly copying her. “Did everyone enjoy the show?!”

She was answered by the audience’s absolutely roaring cheers. “Uh, t-thank you!” he heard Kohane squeak out into her mic. This was met with cheers almost as loud.

He couldn’t help snort. She’s still such a shrimp.

…But she looks so happy up there.

I remember how it felt when I finally felt like I pulled a show off.

Really, Toya had been right all those days ago. An and Kohane really were just like him.

For some inexplicable reason this made him sad.

“Well? You finally convinced about Kohane’s ability?”

“I’m convinced,” Akito said shortly. He really didn’t have any energy left—Toya’s betrayal was just a mere three minutes away, after all. “What else do you want?”

“Uh, an apology?” An asked sarcastically. “You know, for wrecking our show and being an asshole since?”

“…Right.”

I’m so tired of this.

Every single time…

“I was an asshole about the show. I am sorry,” he muttered. “Your singing was good.”

Both girls looked startled. “Huh?” Kohane stammered, looking as though she couldn’t decide whether to be surprised or happy. “Uh, um…t-thank you!”

An chuckled. “That was easier than I expected. Could it be that you're actually more honest than I thought?”

“Oh, shut up. Just get out of here already.”

“Hey, cool it! You weren’t so bad either,” An laughed. “You two work really well together, you know? You were good opponents!”

She grinned, wrapping an arm around Kohane and tugging her close. “Now that you know we’re serious about surpassing RAD WEEKEND, we can be rivals. Looking forward to fighting you guys again sometime!”

On any other day, her words might’ve inspired him—even if it was only through annoyance and a sheer disliking of the possibility of his dream being seized by a pair of shrimpy upstarts.

Today it just made him sad.

“Yeah,” he said as carefully as possible, trying to hide the catch in his voice. “Looking forward to it.”

…I wish we could be rivals.

The Vivids and the BAD DOGS, gunning for the same dream…

But we can’t.

Not until I break out of this.

“Come on, Kohane! Let's go get changed.”

“Sure!”

And so the two left at last, Kohane shooting him one last hopeful smile.

Akito grabbed his broken thermos and stuffed it into his bag, tiredly waiting to hear the words he’d heard all week.

Toya seemed more hesitant tonight, though.

“...You’re quiet today.”

“I was just thinking.”

Toya stood watching him in silence for a few more moments as he uselessly checked to make sure he hadn’t lost anything.

“Akito, I…”

He waited.

“I can’t perform with you anymore.”

Why did it still hurt even today?

Why won’t he tell me what changed?

Why does he feed me the same stupid excuse every time?

Why is he trying so hard to rile me up?

“What, can’t take me seriously anymore?” he muttered, hands shaking as he zipped up his bag. “Feel like telling me why this time?”

…Ah. I slipped up there.

Whatever.

It doesn’t matter anyway.

“I just…” Toya hesitated. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

Why?

“Our music…it’s just a bunch of kids making noise.” He couldn’t see his face from where he was standing, but he was sure it had that awful disdain on it again. “It doesn’t mean anything at all.”

“Oh, yeah? And what about me?”

“Akito–”

“Did I mean anything?” Akito growled, finally looking back at the other boy. As expected his expression was carefully arranged again to hide whatever he was really saying. “Was I really just meaningless to you?”

The silence was dangerous, and he wondered if Toya was only delaying to answer because–

The other looked away. “Yes.”

“But why?!”

Akito slammed his bag down on the table as he shouted, not caring even if his voice was too loud for the small room they were trapped in.

“It’s been us two since forever! We’ve been together for so long, but–why only say this now?!

“If you hated me so much–” Akito could hardly breathe– “–then why did you only say something now?! What did I do wrong?!”

Toya’s expression seemed to crack. “Akito–”

He slammed the door open and left the room behind, not even taking his bag with him.

It didn’t matter–it would appear again like magic at the foot of his bed for him to grab the next morning, and the next, and the next, and the next–

–because this would never stop.

♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

It was a brand new morning.

Akito shut off his alarm and lay back in bed for a few more minutes before sitting up at last. Here we go again.

What’s today again? The…twenty-first try?

I wish I could keep track.

I’d mark it on my calendar, but…

…I’m so tired of this.

Why does it keep going?

I don’t even want to get up anymore.

But he had no other choice but to keep trying, so at last he clambered out of bed, grabbing his jacket and pulling on his track pants. Without wasting any time he hurried down the stairs and opened the fridge, hesitating just for a moment before closing it again. He didn’t have the energy to care about even cheesecake anymore.

It’ll be there tomorrow anyway.

Again, and again, and again…

Akito stood in front of the fridge for what felt like forever, just staring at the handle.

…I need to go on my run.

But I should eat something first, right?

If I don’t eat…

Well, does it even matter? It’s not like I’ll die.

With that he reluctantly brushed his teeth before grabbing his keys and phone. He stuffed them in his pocket as he hurried outside for his daily jog, shakily breathing in the crisp autumn air. It was just early enough his usual route was clear of most pedestrians, and the resultant quiet was nice as always. It gave him time to think.

He didn’t appreciate it quite as much lately, though. The silence every morning was beginning to wear at him, and he’d begun to feel as though even his thoughts would turn against him before long.

I don’t know what to try next.

I’ve tried reasoning with him, I’ve tried getting him to talk, I’ve tried everything–but it’s not worked. I’ve not gotten close to a different ending at all this entire time.

I can’t take much more of this.

What if the rest of my life is like this?

Unable to grow, unable to get Toya back, unable to surpass RAD WEEKEND…

What will I do if I can’t ever break out of this?

Akito stared at the street around him, trying to imagine running in this perfect morning every day for the rest of his life.

The idea was so monotonous he wanted to scream.

I have to try something new.

If I do all this one more time—

Akito quickly backpedaled, finding a random street and turning down it.

It helped…a little.

He tried to pretend it was enough for now.

Akito got home and tossed his sneakers in the general direction of the shoe area, reluctantly dragging himself up the stairs and into his room to change into his street clothes. As he went through the kitchen he could see Ena opening the fridge and taking the cheesecake out, but he couldn’t care less. It wasn’t like he was planning on eating it today anyway.

Toya was waiting patiently by the entrance to Vivid Street, staring at his phone with a slightly distracted expression. “Hey,” Akito greeted, unable to put much energy into his tone as his partner looked up and bobbed his head back in greeting. “You’re up early again.”

“I figured you would want to practice some before the event tonight,” Toya replied, pocketing his phone. “We’ve been meeting earlier than ever lately, after all.”

He frowned. “You look exhausted. Did you not sleep well?”

“...Ah. I was just…”

Akito hesitated a moment. “Just thinking,” he said at last. “Don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?” Toya asked. “I don’t want to press, but you look…less put together than you have been all week. You weren’t out practicing late, were you?”

So annoying.

In the past he would’ve been touched to hear Toya worry for him like this.

It was hardly sweet now when he knew all too well what he was planning.

“I’m fine,” Akito said a touch sharply. “Just thinking about tonight.”

He tried for a smile. “Let’s head out now, yeah? We’ve got a lot of practice to take care of.”

At last Toya nodded, gazing at him in what seemed to be concern before turning and heading down the road.

Shit. It’s starting to really get to me.

Physically Akito felt fine—but the constant looping was starting to take its toll on him. He could hardly channel his usual bravado anymore, and recently the others had started picking up on it. Even An had asked him a few times what was wrong with him, which was a pretty good sign he wasn’t doing so good at covering up his distress.

At least they didn’t have long to get used to it. Akito was strangely grateful for this.

…Toya always looks so worried whenever he sees me, right up until the live show.

But why?

Why does he keep acting like he cares?

In a few hours he’ll be saying I didn’t matter…

So why does he look so worried?

I don’t get it at all.

The day wore on, almost dragging on too slowly for his liking. Akito was never one to turn down an opportunity to practice, but he was itching to hit the event already.

I want to run away from this venue forever.

But I’ll just end up in front of it again, so there’s no point.

“Time to put your money where your mouth is,” he said haughtily as they approached An and Kohane, feeling as though the words were coming out at half the speed. “Let’s see what you can do.”

He clicked his tongue in disapproval. “As if I’d stoop that low.”

I’m so tired.

It’s not even been a month of this, but–

I wish I could make it stop.

What do I have to do to make it stop looping?

“Uh…I can’t believe I’m saying this,” An said unexpectedly. “But dude…are you okay?”

He stared at her without comprehending what she was saying for a minute. “Huh?”

“You looked really miserable for a second there,” she answered. Her brow was furrowed more than Akito had ever seen it. “Didn’t he, Kohane?”

“H-He did,” the other girl agreed. “Um…Shinonome-kun, is everything alright?”

…Huh?

Vaguely he could sense Toya gazing at him out of the corner of his eye, concern apparent even on his face.

“I’m fine,” Akito said at last. “Just thinking.”

He crossed his arms, willing the sadness inside him to disappear again. “Besides, we’ve got an event to do. I don’t need your pity.”

Kohane wilted slightly as An scoffed. “Fine, sue me for being worried! You’re such a jerk.”

She turned sharply on her heel and stormed away, and despite himself Akito couldn’t help but feel bad.

It doesn’t matter.

She won’t remember it tomorrow.

Toya didn’t say anything as he yanked the mic off the table and headed for the stage, pausing only to take a deep breath as the lights flickered on again. Why do I keep trying to do this?

The show doesn’t even matter anymore. There’s no point in trying to preserve my pride or even make a point anymore because it won’t matter tomorrow.

I just want this to end.

What am I doing wrong?

How can I make it end?

The music kicked on and immediately Akito launched into his first line, desperately keeping a tight hold on his voice as it shook. There couldn’t be any mistakes, not now and not ever–he’d worked hours, days, weeks, months, years just to get even a little closer to his dream.

And now it was falling apart around him, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it.

Why is this happening?

How do I fix it?

The rest of the show was a blur, but distantly Akito knew it was probably the worst one he’d done so far. His and Toya’s seemed to slip and miss each other, his partner overpowering him for once as his mind faded in and out of reality.

Maybe they really couldn’t be partners anymore.

It was going to be us.

We were going to be forever together, but–

“We’re BAD DOGS,” he yelled as the music finally ended, trying to suppress a cough–his control hadn’t been quite as good this time. “Thanks for coming tonight!”

He grabbed his bottle and took a long draught, raising his eyebrows at An as she and Kohane hurried forward. “Your turn. Not gonna let us down now, are you?”

“Just you watch. I expect you to be in the front row,” she snarked, tossing her head. There was an angry gleam in her eyes tonight. “Come on, Kohane! Let’s give ‘em a taste of our best song!”

“Yeah!” Kohane squeaked, shooting him what looked like a worried frown as she hurried into the wings.

Akito reminded himself to try better to hide it tomorrow and dropped his bottle back on the table, not caring even as it rolled near the edge. “Come on. Let’s go find a place to watch them from.”

“...Alright.”

Toya trailed behind him as Akito led him through the crowd towards the front “row” as An had demanded. He couldn’t tell whether or not he’d said anything this time over the static in his head was too loud to make anything out.

I need to do better tomorrow.

I wonder if it would’ve changed anything to tell them what was going on.

Why am I even considering it? I don’t know any of them.

Not even Toya.

And even if they were worried at first…

…I guess I’m better off dealing with this alone after all.

I’m sure I can get it.

I just have to keep trying.

Again and again and again–

–until I get it right.

Akito folded his arms and watched as An and Kohane bounced out onstage, waving eagerly to the crowd as the opening to BRING IT ON started. I’ve seen it so many times now, but she’s not given up once.

I was wrong about her the whole time.

Both of them. Shiraishi picked a good partner, and Azusawa has the resolve after all–I was wrong about all of it.

I wish I could take it back.

But that was useless, so Akito ignored the thought.

Kohane lifted the microphone and began to sing, and he listened while feeling that part of him wasn’t even there.

“Well? You finally convinced about Kohane’s ability?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought that would be more satisfying,” he heard her mutter. “Seriously, what’s your deal, dude? You’ve been a lot less grouchy today.”

“Um…did you sleep badly?”

“Like, I thought you’d be itching to rub whatever you could in our faces. You looked like you were falling apart onstage, too!” An’s incredulity hid a note of concern. “What’s gotten into you, Akito?”

He could only shake his head, feeling almost numb.

Why can’t it end already?

I have to say it and get them to move on.

Just tell ‘em their song was good. That’ll be enough.

Just say it.

God damn it, why can’t I–

“Well, you better head home. I don’t like you, but I’d hate to think of you getting hurt,” An admitted. “Toya, you gonna walk him back?”

“...Yes.”

“Good to know!” she chirped, sounding relieved. “Come on, Kohane. Let’s go get changed already.”

“A-Alright.”

Kohane let An tug her away, looking as though she wanted to say something–but in the end she remained silent.

Akito was glad, but distantly he could feel dread rising up inside him.

It was just him and Toya in the live house now, and the reminder of what was coming was enough to send him into a full-blown panic.

Any minute now.

Any minute now he’s gonna leave and say–

“Akito–”

“Don’t you fucking say it.”

“Akito, you–”

“Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it, DON’T–”

Akito didn’t remember getting home that night.

♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

It was a brand new morning.

Akito turned off his alarm and dragged the covers over his head, choking on a raggedy breath. I don’t want to get up.

It’ll just be more of the same.

He’d done the same thing forty-two times now, and it was beginning to wear on him. Even the thought of seeing Toya’s face was unbearable.

What do I do?

Nothing I’ve tried has worked. I tried holding Toya back until he talked, I tried canceling practice and going out to the arcade, I tried begging and crying and–

–and none of it worked!

What am I doing wrong?! Why hasn’t this stopped yet?!

How do I make this stop?!

He sat there trembling and gasping under the covers for a few minutes longer as the sounds of the morning gradually reached him–Ena trooping downstairs (no doubt to steal his cheesecake), his father moving around in the study just a room off and his mother cleaning. The sounds were so nice and normal–so everyday–that they seemed to be sinking into him like knives.

…I’m late.

He’d delayed the timeloop by another few minutes. Does that change anything?

I need to get up.

I have to go on my run.

I have to or I’ll fall apart.

And so Akito dragged himself through great effort out of bed, grabbing his jacket and pulling on his track pants. He took the stairs slowly one step at a time, holding the railing tight to try and ground himself. Today it felt like his head was stuffed with cotton.

He stopped in the kitchen and just grabbed a piece of bread before leaving, too tired to even consider toasting it. His mother threw him a concerned glance as he headed for the front door and pulled on his shoes, but she didn’t stop him.

With breakfast (sort of) taken care of he grabbed his keys and phone and stuffed them in his pocket as he hurried outside for his daily jog at last, slowly breathing in the crisp autumn air. It was just early enough his usual route was clear of most pedestrians like always, and the resultant quiet was…

Well, Akito wasn’t sure what to make of it today.

He’d always found it better when it was quiet–although livehouses and hanging out with Toya were the exceptions to this, too much noise had always made him nervous. It reminded him too much of when Ena and their dad would fight to be comfortable, and as a result he much preferred a lack of noise to the frustrating stimuli outside.

But lately the quiet had been unsettling.

…It’s starting to wear me down for good.

I don’t think I can take much more of it. I’m going to lose my mind.

I need to end it.

But how?

Akito was running out of ideas.

I don’t even feel like showing up to practice, let alone the event.

Would anything change if I wasn’t here?

Would Toya even worry?

Surely he’d at least ask. He’d been pretty nosy lately, anyway.

But would he really care?

…Who am I kidding?

There’s no way he’d care.

I don’t mean anything to him, anyway.

These thoughts continued to swirl around his head as he finally turned around and went home, heart pounding slightly.

Akito dropped his sneakers in a somewhat neat pile and headed upstairs again, trying not to talk himself out of meeting Toya. I have to go.

Toya will just worry if I don’t.

And maybe if I don’t go he’ll leave faster—I can’t risk losing even a little bit of time.

Maybe today will be the day.

Maybe if I just show up again like usual—

If I just keep trying, I have to keep trying—

I have to keep trying, I can't lose him—

Akito dragged his hand across his face to get rid of the tears trickling down it, trying to swallow past the lump in his throat. I can’t lose him.

He’s so important to me.

Toya was the only one who’d bothered to stick around when things went bad—when school was just too unreasonable or the pricks too mean or his family too loud Toya was there, staunchly practicing beside him so that they could fulfill their dream together.

He’d thought it was their dream, at least.

He’d thought Toya would always be there.

And yet Toya had rejected him forty-two times now, and Akito was rapidly running out of the little sanity he had left.

I can’t do this anymore.

He was as stubborn as they came, but even he had to admit when he was beat, right?

…No more.

I’m sick of this timeloop.

I’m done.

It felt odd to stay home for once.

Akito sat against the side of his bed and mindlessly scrolled through Twitter, ignoring the multiple texts Toya had already sent him. Distantly he knew he wasn’t acting right—Toya likely had no idea what was going on this morning—but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Time passed, and gradually he heard Ena shouting in the room beside him. God. It’s really never quiet here.

I want to get out, but…

I don’t want to run into anybody.

What do I do?

…I guess I could at least drown her out with some music.

Wearily Akito opened the music app and scrolled through his many playlists, feeling almost sick to his stomach as he did. So many of these are based around Toya.

The covers we were planning to do, the study mixes we came up with together, songs we just thought were nice…

Many a day had been spent relaxing with Akito’s old earbuds split between them, silence broken only by Toya’s quiet murmurs or a thought Akito needed to speak aloud.

But those days were over.

Quickly Akito closed the playlist tab and navigated back to his song list instead, deciding to just listen to anything that sounded interesting. Didn’t an artist I like release something new recently?

I guess not.

Under Dog, Utage, Under Blue…

…Untitled?

What is this?

Akito studied the song with a frown. It had no cover, no title, no artist and no other credits. He had no memory of even downloading it—it must’ve been before the timeloop, at least, but that period of time felt as though it had been eons ago. It was entirely possible he had downloaded it.

Still, this made no sense.

Maybe something was deleted?

Let me play it and see what happens.

Akito tapped the song. Immediately his screen lit up in a blinding flash of white.

Wait, wha—

He didn’t have time to process what was happening until the air around him seemed to burst in every color of the rainbow, glowing brighter and brighter until he couldn’t see anything. What the—?!

Abruptly the light faded. Akito realized very quickly he was standing in the middle of a street he’d never seen before.

What.

The fuck.

I—seriously, what is this?!

He tried to take in his surroundings, panicky brain noting flyers and graffiti and countless alleyways as he spun around. Somehow—unless he was hallucinating, which would be a pretty good explanation for the timeloops—he had really traveled to another place just by pressing play on a song.

Has my brain just finally snapped?

“Oh! You finally noticed Untitled!”

Akito registered a cheery voice and a flash of yellow before a kid with spiky blond hair popped up in front of him, beaming brightly. “Hi!”

“Wha—Kagamine Len?!” he blurted out. “The Virtual Singer?!”

What’s happening?!

The boy (maybe it seriously was him) tilted his head and studied him with bright blue eyes. He looked surprisingly normal in his comfy camping jacket and not at all like the Len he was familiar with, but his voice was unmistakable. “Huh? Is the other one not with you?”

“Other—”

“Oh, well, this makes three!” The boy seized his arm and dragged him down the street, his grip surprisingly strong. “Come on, we’ve gotta let Miku and MEIKO know!”

“Hey! What’s going on?! Stop pulling me!”

“Miku! MEIKO! Akito finally came!”

“How do you know my name?!”

“Welcome,” the green-haired girl at the counter greeted, grinning as Len shoved him towards a chair. “So you finally noticed, then.”

“Hatsune Miku’s here, too?” Akito groaned, massaging his face. “I’m seriously hallucinating, aren’t I?”

“Hey, we’re no hallucination!” Len said indignantly. “You’re Akito of BAD DOGS, right?”

BAD DOGS.

Wait—

“You sing with your friend, Toya—”

“That bastard’s no friend of mine!” Akito yelled, slamming his fist down on the nearby table.

Len flinched, and Miku looked surprised. Oddly enough Akito felt guilty.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “It’s complicated.”

“I bet,” Miku agreed, playing idly with the string of her jacket. “I’m sure the timeloop’s messing things up quite a bit.”

“…Huh?”

How does she—

“Now, now. Let’s not overwhelm him.”

A brown-haired woman had come out of the back of the kitchen with a bag of coffee beans, and something about her relaxed air eased some of the tension in his shoulders. “Why don’t you sit down?” she offered, gesturing to one of the empty barstools in front of her. “I’m MEIKO, and this is my cafe.”

She set the bag down and pulled a mug out of the cabinet behind her. “I can make you some coffee if you’d like. I’ve also got a nice slice of cheesecake I’ve been saving for…a while.” She smiled wryly. “I think we can explain some things to you, too. I’m sure you’re confused.”

…I really am.

Do they really have answers?

I mean, Hatsune Miku knows I’m in a timeloop, so…

I guess it couldn’t hurt.

At last Akito eased down into a seat by the counter, Len clambering into the one between him and Miku. MEIKO patted him on the shoulder before turning her full attention to her work.

“So,” Miku said, stirring a sugar cube into her mug. “You got here by playing Untitled, right?”

Akito nodded warily.

“Makes sense. This is SEKAI, a world created from your feelings,” she explained. “There’s a lot out there, but this one is created from you, Toya, An and Kohane’s feelings of wanting to surpass the legendary night. You following?”

“Somehow,” Akito sighed. Them being involved barely shocks me.

I guess if all our feelings revolve around RAD WEEKEND…

…Then why is Toya a part of it?

He said it didn’t mean anything.

So why…

“The SEKAI was normal for a while when Kohane-chan and An-chan were visiting,” MEIKO said, carefully pouring hot water over the dripper. “They popped in once before their big show against you two, and then…”

“The SEKAI just got stuck!” Len burst out. “No one’s come in at all until you, and it’s like we’re frozen on the one day!”

“We couldn’t figure out why for a little while, and then we realized it was because of someone’s feelings,” MEIKO said gently. “I believe it’s because of your feelings.”

Huh?

This whole time…

This whole time, I—

“Let me get this straight.”

Akito didn’t even realize he was speaking at first. His voice was flatter than he’d ever heard it.

“I’m the reason I’m stuck like this?”

There was quiet as the three Virtual Singers studied the cafe around them.

“It looks like it,” Miku said at last. Her expression was sympathetic. “Our best guess is that something happened to make you wish for another try, and the SEKAI responded to that by trying to really give you another chance.”

Did I…

Did I really wish for another chance?

Did I really do this to myself?

“B-But it’s okay!” Len piped up, clearly trying to lighten the mood. “You’ve just gotta figure out how to fix it, right? It should be easy, right?”

“…I’ve tried forty-two times.”

Len wilted. “Oh.”

“Every time I’ve—I’ve tried everything I can think of! Absolutely nothing worked! And if I can’t get anything to work—

“If I can’t get anything to work then I’ll be stuck like this forever! I don’t even care about the stupid event anymore, or the Vivids, or even Toya! I just want it to be over!

“I don’t want to live like this anymore!” Akito yelled, clenching his fists so hard his nails pierced skin.

Silence reigned over the cafe as he tried to catch his breath, head spinning.

“…Are you sure you don’t care about Toya-kun anymore?”

“Of course I’m sure,” Akito said defiantly, trying his hardest to mean it. “He doesn’t care about me, anyway. I’m tired of trying.”

Did he…

Did he ever—

“Did you two fight, Akito?” Len asked cautiously, shuffling a little closer.

…Forty-two times.

He’s cut me off forty-two times now.

“We did,” Akito mumbled. “He told me he wanted to quit singing. Every time. I don’t—I don’t even think he ever thought of us as partners.”

Miku reached over and gently patted his back. There was something oddly novel about it, and half-heartedly he wished he was in a mood where he could appreciate it more. “That sounds rough.”

“I have a friend who’s really important to me, too,” Len piped up after a moment of quiet. “We sing a lot just like you guys.

“We argue a loooooooooot, too, but we usually make up super fast.” He smiled almost wistfully. “I think this is the longest I’ve gone without talking to her. I don’t even remember what the fight was about anymore.”

“…I wish I knew in the first place.”

Akito buried his head in his hands as MEIKO set a mug before him, groaning. “I’m not an idiot. I know he’s trying to rile me up before I can question him properly, and I know he’s hiding something…but I don't know what.”

He took the sugar jar she offered him and dropped a few cubes inside his coffee, slowly stirring everything together. “I’m out of ideas,” he muttered. “I don’t…if there’s a chance I can reach him, I…

“I just…he’s acting so weird! I’ve been doing worse and worse lately, and he’s always worried and shit—but then he leaves me every single night. It doesn’t make any sense!”

Akito’s hands were shaking slightly as he lifted the mug, staring down at his own miserable reflection in its contents. “I don’t know what he’s thinking anymore. It scares me.”

MEIKO hummed quietly, carefully guiding a slice of what looked like the best cheesecake he’d ever seen onto a plate and putting it down beside him. “I have a feeling he really does care about you.”

“But if he does, then why—”

“I’m sure there’s a reason. I bet you’ve just not been able to pick up on it just yet,” she continued without scolding him for the interruption, her voice warm and oddly soothing to his ears. “You’ve been having trouble because you don’t think he cares anymore, right?”

Akito opened and closed his mouth uselessly for a second, then nodded.

“Why don’t you try again with this in mind?” MEIKO offered him a fork. “I bet you’ll get farther this time.”

“…You really think I can do it?”

“Your feelings have created a good deal of the SEKAI here. They’re strong enough to bring us together and carve out an infinite number of second chances.” She set a hand over his and gave it a small squeeze. “I’m sure they’ll reach him this time.”

At last she pulled away, glancing at the clock behind her. “Hmm…I recommend waiting until tomorrow, though. The event should be beginning now, and there's no point in causing yourself unnecessary stress.”

“Can you handle one more loop?” Miku asked, raising an eyebrow at him. It felt almost like a challenge.

“…Of course I can.”

Akito sliced a bite off his cheesecake and popped it into his mouth, for the first time in weeks properly savoring the taste.

“I’m gonna do whatever I can to bring him back,” he promised. “So…thank you. I’ll bring back good results.”

It’s my fault this is happening in the first place.

Both ‘cause my feelings got us all stuck, and…

Whatever Toya is hiding, he felt like he couldn’t tell me.

So I have to fix this.

He glanced at his phone, where he could see the latest of his partner’s texts on the screen.

Partner:

Where are you, Akito? The event’s beginning now.

As he stared more appeared.

Partner:

You didn’t show up to Vivid Street all day, either. Even the Vivids are worried.

Is everything alright?

…I feel bad now.

Maybe he does care.

I don’t know anymore.

He felt Miku’s eyes lingering on him as he picked up his phone and began to type a reply.

Me:

smth came up. can’t meet tonite

srry I didn’t tell you sooner

He hesitated before adding one last message.

Me:

see you tomorrow toya

There was a pause as Toya read the texts, then his answer appeared a second later.

Partner:

See you tomorrow, Akito.

Honestly.

What’s his deal?

Akito didn’t feel quite as hopeless tonight, though.

“You can stay here as long as you’d like,” MEIKO promised. “If you’d rather sleep here tonight, too, that’s fine. You should appear back in your own room tomorrow.”

Akito thought it over carefully. In the end, it didn’t really matter—whatever he decided on today couldn’t possibly influence tomorrow. He was stuck in a timeloop, after all.

A part of him felt bad for basically running away that night—his mother was sure to worry if she thought to check on him—but…

“Just today,” he said at last. “If you don’t mind.”

Maybe it would help.

“Whoo!” Len cheered, hopping off the counter and sprinting for the stairs. “MEIKO, can he sleep in my room? Can he? Can he? Can he?”

“If he doesn’t mind,” she chuckled. “Akito-kun, do you have any preferences?”

“I’m fine with whatever. You just can’t be this hyper all night.”

“Hey! I’m one of SEKAI’s deepest sleepers, actually!”

“He is,” Miku confirmed, mouth quirking into a grin. “What he’s not telling you is that you’re gonna want earplugs.”

“HEY! I don’t snore that loudly!”

Despite himself Akito smiled. It was an atmosphere unlike any he’d been a part of lately.

They’re arguing, but they’re getting along well.

I wish I…

If I could just…

He tucked those thoughts aside to worry about later and finished his cheesecake, feeling oddly calm this time.

Maybe I don’t have to give up yet.

♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

It was a brand new morning.

Akito turned off his alarm and stared out of the window above him, mind whirling. That all really happened.

I really met the Virtual Singers, and really slept in the same room as Kagamine Len…

I can’t even believe it.

…But it was helpful.

I feel like I can really do this today.

With that he clambered out of bed, grabbing his jacket and pulling on his track pants. Without wasting any time he hurried down the stairs and dropped a few slices of bread into the toaster and turned it on, quickly stuffing the first piece into his mouth as he tied his sneakers. He needed to be methodical about his morning–he needed all the energy he could get, and eating something attempting a breakfast was important for the day he had ahead.

With that taken care of he quickly brushed his teeth before grabbing his keys and phone. He stuffed them in his pocket as he hurried outside for his daily jog, breathing in the crisp autumn air. It was just early enough his usual route was clear of most pedestrians, and the resultant quiet was nice as always. It gave him time to think.

It’s gonna be today.

Akito felt his pace quicken slightly. I think I can really do it this time.

My head feels clear for the first time in weeks. I know more than I did before, too.

I know that he still cares.

He wasn’t sure why MEIKO had been so confident, but something about her tone had made it hard not to believe her. Maybe being in charge of a special world created from the feelings of the kid in question helped…

…It feels obvious, though.

Toya does care.

Even as the night had become later and the event had started–and with it the timer until his partner left again–Toya had still messaged him, clearly worried for him despite how coldly he would speak that night. Whatever he was doing, it was clearly all an act.

Why, I don’t know…

But I’m going to find out once and for all.

I won’t get distracted this time.

I’ll pry the real reason out of him tonight no matter what it takes.

…How, though?

Countless ideas bubbled up inside his head as he made his way back home and shrugged on his outfit for the day, pausing to tell Ena she could eat the cheesecake he’d bought yesterday before running outside again. None seemed to make sense–in fact, he’d tried a good deal of them already.

Calm down.

I just have to stay calm and watch for any kind of opening–any kind of chance to make a different choice.

It’s all I can do now.

“You wanted to practice early,” Toya said quietly, pocketing his phone. “That’s why I’m out here.”

Something about the way he stated it–obviously he’d be there with Akito–was soothing, and Akito felt a genuine smile tug at his lips. “I figured,” he said lightly. “Come on, Toya. We’ve got hours of time ahead of us, so let’s use it well.”

“Alright.”

They set off down the road together, neither boy saying anything. The silence didn’t feel quite as charged this time, though.

He’s probably still thinking about it.

…I have to think it was an impulse. There’s no way he could’ve been planning that.

I guess I don’t really know.

Was I paying any attention to him before?

Already he knew he hadn’t been. No doubt Toya had been worrying constantly over…whatever this was while he raged about the Vivids.

I wasted so much time.

…If today might be the final day, then I need to address that too.

I need to settle this properly.

“I’m excited for the event tonight,” he said aloud. “The Vivids might actually be serious.”

Toya looked back at him in what looked like shock. “Eh?”

“I dunno. Just something I’ve been thinking about…lately.” Akito smiled wearily. “I think I acted like an idiot.”

His partner’s expression smoothed out into something like relief. “I see. I’m glad to hear that.”

He’s been rooting for them since day one.

What’re you so interested in them for, Toya?

I wonder if you’ll tell me this time.

…How should I play this?

Even if I know more this time around, nothing I’ve tried has worked.

What if it ends the same way?

If I have to keep going–

Akito realized he was a lot more worried than he’d thought he was.

…So much is riding on tonight.

My partnership, the SEKAI, and everyone else who’s been stuck with me–my feelings made everything worse, and I don't know how much more we can take.

I know I have to fix it, but how?

What would MEIKO-san tell me?

The day wore on, sailing cheerfully towards the evening faster than he could think. Akito was conflicted–he felt readier than he’d ever been, but he still had no plan. It was concerning.

However, the sky began to darken and the crowds began to gather, and at last the doors to the venue they were playing at opened. Akito pushed past the chattering rabble–Toya right behind him like always–and made his way backstage, where the other performers were waiting. This is it.

I’ve done this forty-three times now…

If I fail today I don’t think I’ll ever find the energy to try again.

It’s do or die now.

“Time to put your money where your mouth is,” he called as they approached An and Kohane, grinning. “Let’s see what you can do.”

“Careful what you wish for. We’ve come prepared with our best song yet!” An retorted, answering his smile with one of her own. “Oh, and just make sure you don't pull some cowardly stunt like last time.”

Akito surprised himself by laughing out loud.

All of a sudden all of this was so ridiculous. How long had he stood there and exchanged useless barbs with the two while knowing just how serious they were?

It’s so stupid.

It’s all so stupid.

He’d looped this moment over and over and over without end…

Maybe the solution had been simpler than he’d thought.

“You good?” An asked, looking alarmed. “I thought you’d be, like…super tense and grumpy. You’re not making fun of us, are you?!”

“No, no,” Akito said hastily, desperately attempting to cover up his grin. “It’s just–sorry. I sound weird as hell right now.”

“Akito?” Toya asked cautiously. “Is everything–”

“I’m folding tonight.”

“What?” all three of them said at once.

“I accept my loss. I was wrong about you guys–seriously,” Akito added as Kohane’s eyes widened. “You have the resolve and spirit to surpass RAD WEEKEND. I was an idiot for not seeing it before.”

An blinked a few times like she’d been hit around the head. “Uh–wait–what?”

“Akito?”

“W-Wait,” Kohane stammered. “I don’t understand. Shinonome-kun, what do you mean you–”

“Toya, let’s bounce. There’s no point in staying here,” Akito said, slapping his partner on the back and turning around. “Good luck with your show, you two.”

“You’re just–leaving?! But–but aren’t you gonna–?!”

“I told you. I know you guys’ve got the spirit.”

He paused to shoot one last grin in their direction. “See you in SEKAI.”

And with that he left with Toya right behind him, unable to keep a smile off his face as he heard their shocked gasps.

“Akito! Wait up!”

Toya jogged behind him as he ran out into the evening, catching onto his hand and dragging him to a stop. “What’s wrong? Why did you leave like that?”

“Meh, I didn’t feel like performing tonight. And I know how it was gonna end up, so why bother?”

“But–”

“Hey, it doesn’t matter. We’ll work something out with them later if we have to,” Akito promised him. “Besides, you didn’t want to fight them either, right?”

Toya nodded slowly, looking a little surprised. “No, I…no, I didn’t.”

I figured.

“This whole time, you knew they were just like us,” he continued, feeling a flicker of shame. “That’s why you were trying so hard to get me to stop, right?”

“...Yes.”

“Is that why you wanted to leave?”

Silence reigned over them for a moment. Akito had never seen Toya so shocked.

“How did you know?” he asked at last, letting go of Akito’s sleeve.

“Just a feeling,” he answered, choosing to stay quiet about the loops for now. “That’s not important right now, though.

“Instead of hiding it, or trying to distract me…can you tell me everything honestly?”

His partner hesitated, staring at the road between them without saying anything for a moment.

Akito let him be, choosing not to worry about the time sliding by.

“I…I don’t think I’m the teammate you need, Akito.”

Toya didn’t meet his eyes as he spoke, but his expression was nothing like any Akito had seen before. It was sad and accepting all at once.

“I only started singing because I wanted to anger my father,” he continued, a little catch in his voice. “When you asked me to join you, I was so happy. I’ve had so much fun singing with you over the years, really. Nothing…nothing is better than being by your side.

“But…I could never think of singing just for my dream like you did. You’re always looking right ahead, not letting anything get in your way…but I can’t just sing for my own sake like you and the Vivids do. My resolve…it isn’t like yours.”

Toya shook his head, eyes faintly glossy in the setting sun. “I was trying to figure how best to cut myself off without making you worry. I didn’t want you to hate me, but–I didn’t want you to fight me, either.”

“...You should’ve just told me.”

“I know,” Toya said wearily. “I’m a halfhearted coward. I never deserved to stand by your side.”

“That’s not true,” Akito shot back. “You’re the only one I ever wanted to sing with me, Toya.”

“But I–”

“Shut up for a second. You really think I would’ve teamed up with you if you didn’t have the same level of resolve I had?”

“You were wrong about Shiraishi and Azusawa.”

That got a surprised laugh out of him, funnily enough. “Oh, shut up. I admitted I was wrong, didn’t I?”

Amazingly Toya smiled a little. “After two weeks.”

“Oi, give me a break already. Anyway,” Akito huffed. “I wouldn’t have teamed up with you if I didn’t know you were completely serious. You know that, Toya.”

“...I suppose.”

“Remember our first show together?”

Toya’s brow furrowed slightly. “Yes. But why?”

“There were a few punks picking on us right after we got offstage. Remember that?”

“...Ah.”

“I remember being mad as hell, but you didn’t say anything after that,” he chuckled. “All you did was keep showing up for practice with me. It surprised me at first.

“But I realized it was like you were saying we couldn’t let them beat us.” He met Toya’s eyes, drinking in their lovely pale silver. “I already knew you were the one then, but that was when I really knew I’d made the right choice. You were just as stubborn as me, and knowing that–trusting in that–was the best feeling in the world.

“Trust me, I don’t think I’d be better off surpassing RAD WEEKEND with anyone else. You’re the only one I want as my partner.” Akito seized Toya’s hands and shook them slightly for emphasis. “I’m sure you’re the same. If you still want to sing with me, then just go for it.”

His partner’s expression shifted ever so slightly, the faint curve of his eyebrows showing his uncertainty.

“Is that really fine?” he asked softly, voice cracking just a little. “For someone with such weak resolve to stay with you…is that really alright?”

“Your resolve’s not weak,” Akito retorted, lightly punching his shoulder. “You may think it is, but to me…well, you’re the best partner a guy could ask for.”

He’s the only one I’d ever want.

It’s always been Toya.

“There’s no point in overthinking it anymore. I wanna be with you, and you wanna be with me–all that's left is to realize our dream together,” he said quietly. “Isn't that enough?”

Time seemed to hang still between them as the silence wore on, the sun dipping lower and lower past the horizon. The last of sunlight ebbed slowly away, dying them both in a blue so deep it was like a sapphire.

This is my last hurrah.

If this doesn’t work…if I can’t make him stay…

If I have to go through this all over again–

“If I want it, just go for it,” Toya murmured at last. “So the answer was that simple the entire time.”

“Hell yeah it was,” Akito snorted. “You know, for someone who's so good at school, you sure are stupid.”

His partner–his beautiful, sweet partner who had chosen him again at last–laughed out loud at that, almost doubling over as he clutched Akito’s hands. “I suppose–I suppose I really am.”

I did it.

He almost couldn’t believe it for a second.

He’d really, seriously done it this time–he’d gotten through to Toya and even gotten him to stay.

He’s going to stay.

This should fix everything…right?

Abruptly the world tilted sideways.

Akito didn’t even realize he was falling until his knees hit the hard asphalt below him.

“W–Akito! Akito, what’s wrong?”

God.

I’m so tired.

"Untitled - No Artist"

01:12 ━━━━●───── 03:30

◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤ

It was a brand new morning…

…and rain was pounding against his window.

My head hurts.

Akito groaned as he pushed back the covers. Geez, I’m sore all over. What happened?

Sleepily he grabbed for his phone and checked the time, stopping short when he saw the time–it was already way past noon.

What.

Wait, wha–what happened to my alarm?

And how come I slept so long?!

He quickly sat up in bed, abruptly realizing he was still in his sweatpants. A wild glance out his window showed him the dramatic difference in weather and time, and gradually he realized something had changed.

Wait.

He looked at his phone again, heart pounding.

Sun, Sep 20

…I did it.

I’m actually out.

His eyes stung and the screen blurred, and he dragged his hand across his face in a halfhearted attempt to stop crying. I can’t believe it.

I thought I’d be stuck this way forever.

But I’m really out. I managed to stop him.

It’s too good to be true.

At last he noticed the text banner floating up his screen, sent at nine pm yesterday. Akito scrambled to open it.

Partner:

I called Ken-san for help when you passed out and brought you home. Please call me when you’re awake, Akito.

By the way, I turned off your alarm, so please don’t forget to turn it back on later.

I passed out?

Akito gingerly touched his head, wincing at the way it ached. Ouch. I guess it all caught up to me.

I don’t even remember sleeping on some days, but I woke up again and again anyway…

Maybe it just all hit me at once. I bet MEIKO-san could explain it to me.

I wish I could’ve noticed sooner, though…that seriously hurts.

Still, it’s weirdly reassuring to feel pain now.

When I was stuck there…

Akito quickly shook his head with a shiver to dispel the thought.

I never want to think about it again.

I thought–

I thought I’d go crazy.

He’d come so close to giving up, too. If not for MEIKO, Miku and Len, he wasn’t sure what he would’ve done.

I could’ve been stuck on that day forever.

I was so close to…

“Hey, Akito.”

He jumped as Miku appeared on the surface of his screen, almost dropping the phone. “Gah!”

“Sorry. Did I surprise you?”

“Uh…kinda,” Akito admitted, easing into a more comfortable position against his pillow. “Did it work?”

“Looks like it. An and Kohane have popped into the SEKAI for the first time in weeks,” she said with a tired smile. “Whatever you did this time did the trick. Everything’s back to normal, and Len’s going out to find his partner now and talk to her. You did it.”

“That’s good to know,” he sighed. “Did Shiraishi and Azusawa notice anything?”

“Nope. You and us Virtual Singers were the only ones affected,” Miku answered. “Although I assume you told them something yesterday ‘cause they’ve both been super casually asking us about you two. Are you planning on telling them what happened?”

“...No. At least not now.”

“That’s fine, too. I’ll let everyone know not to say anything until you’re ready.” She patted his finger with her small hand, offering him an encouraging smile. He couldn’t even feel it. “Let us know if you ever want to talk about it, alright? I’m sure it was rough.”

“Alright,” Akito muttered. “Thanks.”

“I’d better go. I think MEIKO is making cookies, and I really want to help,” Miku said with a rueful laugh. “Take it easy today, but try to come back to SEKAI at some point, alright? Len’s dying to hang out with you more.”

He managed a smile at that. “Got it. I’ll try.”

And with that she disappeared in a burst of colorful light, leaving his screen blank once more.

…I want to hear his voice.

He quickly pressed call and waited semi-patiently. He didn’t think he could go another minute without hearing him.

Thankfully, Toya picked up almost instantly. “Akito?”

“Hey,” he greeted, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “Morning. Or…well, you know what I mean.”

“Good morning,” his partner replied, breathing a quiet little sigh of relief. “Are you alright? You didn’t seem badly hurt yesterday, but you’ve slept rather late…”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. Just–I think I didn’t sleep well,” Akito said guiltily. “I’m sorry if I scared you yesterday.”

“It’s alright. I’m just glad you’re alright,” Toya reassured him. “How are you feeling? Would you like me to bring anything over?”

“Nah, I’m fine. I’d rather get out some.”

“Alright, but please don’t push yourself. Where would you like to meet?”

I almost lost this.

If I’d given up…

I can’t ever tell him how close I got.

“...Maybe the cafe by the arcade?”

But Toya is here now.

Nothing else matters to me right now.

“Mm. That sounds fun,” his partner agreed. “Please take your time. I’ll order when I get there.”

“Got it. I’ll be there soon.”

“Good to know. I’ll see you soon, Akito.”

“See ya,” Akito sang as he hung up.

With that taken care of he clambered out of bed, grabbing his jacket and carefully tugging it over his arms. He did everything as slowly and deliberately as possible, relieved to see that weird exhaustion had vanished but not keen on testing his limits much just yet. I’ve already wasted most of the day sleeping, and I don’t wanna do that again.

I need to make do with the time I have left today.

He grabbed his keys and phone and stuffed them in his pocket as he grabbed his umbrella and hurried outside, enjoying the sound of the rain as it smacked against it. It hasn’t rained in a while.

It was supposed to, but…

Akito couldn’t resist twirling his umbrella and letting the rain fly off of it. He was in an oddly good mood today.

God, I’m gonna confuse the heck out of him again.

Hell, I’m confused.

Just the other day I didn’t even want to keep trying. How do I feel so light now?

I guess that’s just how it is.

Toya was waiting patiently in their usual booth at the cafe, tapping his fingers against the table to the rhythm of the song currently playing. It was such a Toya thing to do it made him want to cry.

I missed him so much.

“Hey,” Akito greeted, relishing the way his partner’s face lit up at the sound of his voice. “Sorry for being so late.”

“No worries. I’m just glad you could come out,” Toya replied as he sat down. “You scared me last night when you just collapsed like that…”

“Again, sorry. I haven’t slept well lately.”

It was a half-truth, but thankfully his partner didn’t combat it. “I think we ought to take a break from practice today. The atmosphere around Vivid Street is a little awkward, anyway.”

“Huh? Oh–shoot, I forgot I ghosted the manager. I didn’t even warn ‘em we were leaving.”

“Shiraishi told us we owe her for apologizing on her behalf,” Toya chuckled. “She seems to have taken last night in stride. Apparently Azusawa asked if we could battle properly some time soon, too-I thought you’d want to know.”

He made room on the table as the server approached with their food, nodding politely to thank her before looking back at him. “They both said they hoped you felt better today. Shiraishi thinks you had some sort of brain injury, so I’d advise you to correct her soon.”

Akito chuckled. “I guess I really did freak ‘em out acting how I did.”

“They also want to meet soon,” Toya added. “Azusawa said it was important, but to do it when we’re feeling up to it.”

…There’s so much to talk about.

The show, the SEKAI, everything else…

I should probably talk to Mita, too. It’s not like I wanna just sell him out, but I don’t really want to cover for him anymore.

I’d rather be honest with those two, especially if we’re gonna be rivals.

Or more.

That would have to wait until their meeting, though.

“I’m up for it,” Akito said at last. “Maybe sometime during the week.”

He smiled at his partner, happy to see his own contentment reflected back at him. “Right now I just wanna sit and be for a bit.”

Toya nodded. “I understand.”

He pushed the sugar jar over to Akito with a soft smile, lifting his own mug and taking a sip as Akito stirred creamer into his. “I’m happy to just sit like this for a while, too.”

…I’m glad.

Dealing with that was a pain in the ass, but…

Looking at what’s happened now, maybe it was worth it.

It had to be worth it.

Because if it wasn’t–

I’m scared.

Despite the warmth that came from sitting across from his partner, almost no secrets between them anymore, Akito felt a cold shiver of fear go down his spine.

What if it happens again?

Can I bear all that again?

He had a sinking feeling it would destroy him.

…I have to bear it for now.

I can’t let it devour me.

I have to enjoy what’s before me, and focus on my goals–

“Akito, what if we try learning a new song tomorrow?”

He blinked, startled out of the pit he was rapidly falling down by Toya’s voice. “What?”

“I know it may be a little out of the blue, but we spent the past week only practicing for the event at Mossy Stone,” his partner said as he fiddled a little with his mug. “And besides, I haven’t been practicing as seriously as I ought to as your partner.”

“...Huh.”

“I know I’ve caused you a lot of trouble, and I understand if you’d rather do what we usually do,” Toya continued. “But there’s a lot I want to express, and I don’t think I can do it with just my words. Do you mind?”

That’s so like him.

It was deeply reassuring.

“That sounds nice,” Akito said at last. “I can handle it tomorrow, yeah.”

Toya nodded sharply, and he could tell he was pleased. “Alright. Don’t push yourself too much, though.”

“I won’t,” he promised him. “I know my limits.”

I guess I just have to get used to it.

Maybe I can…

Akito gently nudged that thought away. One day.

I’ll think about it one day, but not now.

“So what song were you thinking of doing?” Akito asked, propping up his head in his hand as Toya quickly grabbed his phone.

“Well, we both know the artist, so you’ve probably heard it already…”

There were things Akito needed to say, both to his partner and the Vivids, both tomorrow and in the future, but for now it was enough to sit there and listen to him talk about music with that faint glow in his eyes.

For now it was just enough for him to be with the boy he loved.

Notes:

hello everyone!! thanks to my (time loop obsessed) friend azelin and my friend purple for betaing this!! i almost had a pyschotic break writing it lmao

ive been wanting to do a time loop since the new vbs cover came out, so when this idea occurred to me late sunday night i rushed to get it all out the next monday. it was both surprisingly easy and tricky to write, but it was a lot of fun.

also im ngl writing main story akito was weirdly fun. he's such a fucking brat man i love him

see everyone tuesday for the reverse isekai chapter!! thank you for reading <3

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