Chapter Text
Perix thought she was dead. For years, she had been dead, only a voice to torment the scientist until Enderian shushed them and began feeling sorry for her pathetic child. They
didn't exactly go anywhere, there was no place for souls to go for a while, until she started floating in a dark and somehow distant place, they didn’t quite know where she was or the cause of it.
She hated being there, too quiet, too calm, as if they were nothing, surrounded by nothing. It wasn't like she could do anything about it. They missed being alive, taking over control after being forced into a stupid mirror after most likely centuries of being loyal to her queen, Enderian. Enderian, the person whom she had cherished and been completely loyal to, the person who decided to throw them away like something useless or broken.
Perix started to feel more sentient; she could feel her body, which was something she couldn't do for a long time. It hurt. They were in pain, something she forgot she could feel. They all of a sudden familiarize the scent of books, like in purgatory, but also the scent of coffee and somehow the End.
“Perix,” the voice of the mind goddess’s son addressed them, making her open her eyes and see a man who looked like a much older Rae standing in front of them with a nervous smile on his face. “You have been reformed, and now you are in the Elysium, it's pretty much a rebuilt Aether with a brand new name.”
Silence swept over the room. Perix did not know what to say, and Rae waited. He waited until she could say anything or do anything, half expecting to have to help her and half expecting violence to occur.
“I don’t deserve to be here,” Perix stated bluntly, after everything they have done to people, being in a place like the Elysium felt like a privilege someone as cruel-hearted and selfish did not deserve.
“Maybe you don’t now, but as much as I hate it, I believe anyone can change and become a better person,” Rae replied with a tint of hope in his voice that Perix would become kind-hearted after he pretty much begged Epros to reform them.
She was going to be given another chance, after all they did to Lodestar Grove, they were given a chance to fix it. She just froze in place. There had to be more to this; this couldn't be real, it was an illusion she knew those well.
“This isn’t real, I’m just seeing illusions. You aren’t real!” Perix yells, breathing heavily in distress, of course, she couldn’t stay dead peacefully. Rae gave her a look of concern as if she were going insane. She hated it; they felt vulnerable, something she hadn't felt since the beginning of learning to be a goddess. “You aren’t Rae, he would never try to give me a second chance, I tried to kill him and everyone he loves!”
She starts to panic. Why was she seeing illusions? It didn't make sense, but neither did the situation of this entire thing being real, and Rae actually wanted to forgive her and give her a life she didn't deserve. The man illusion in front of them held her hand in his. They shook their head, feeling unsteady not just from not having an actual body for a while but also because she couldn't believe any of this.
“I’ve read your diaries,” Rae stated, shit, he would know about her liking Enderian and the heartbreak they faced after realising she had eyes for Isla. “You were angry, mad that after devoting so much to Enderian and pushing your wants away, to be then thrown to the side for a lover, you grew resentful of everyone, especially people who did get people to love and be loved by.”
Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, memories of sleepless nights and levels of devotion that hurt her body and left it rough and callused over time, just for her goddess to ignore it and fall in love with an already married mortal woman. She never really hated Isla; jealousy had blinded the goddess.
“I did everything for Enderian even when it hurt, because I loved her, but your mother is who she had eyes for,” Perix mumbles. “I hurt the traveller, I hurt you, I hurt so many people, just because they had something I didn’t. I’m a god, I have a lot more than any morals, but I hurt them because they had one thing I didn’t…” They started crying.
“You had everything except for what you wanted. It doesn’t justify what you did, but you can learn from it and heal from it,” Rae comforted, opening his arms out for a hug, which Perix slowly and cautiously walked into.
“Do you want to talk to Enderian?” After several moments of silence, the man broke the hug but didn’t move too far away, asking a question Perix didn’t know how to answer. “You don’t have to; they don’t know you’ve reformed.” Perix shook her head; she couldn’t stand to see the woman who betrayed them, not just yet.
Suddenly, Perix could see a brunette man with red, soft eyes walking towards the two. She recognised the man as the overworlder who had turned into a potion trial experiment. They dreaded the thought of having to talk to the person she tortured.
“Hi, babe,” Caspian greeted Rae before pulling him into a small kiss, before turning to look at Perix, but did not meet their eyes with hate, but with concern, maybe for both of them. He takes a deep breath and speaks up after a couple of minutes of silence, “I’m willing to forgive you if you are going to try to change.”
Perix nodded, “I want to try. I don’t want to live with this… pain and guilt,” she pretty much begged, not sure to who or why they did.
As much as Perix hated it, they knew they had a lot of apologies and making up to do and Enderian to unfortunately speak to. She both hates and likes the smile Rae gives them like she did nothing to him, but it also seemed comforting. She was shocked to find out that Caspian was willing to forgive them after the torture they inflicted on him, as if it was nothing.