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The night wind swept across the roof of the building, cold and sharp. Aziraphale stood alone at the edge of the building, his eyes lost in the glittering lights of London stretching as far as the eye could see. Headphones on, he sang as if his life depended on it.
Every word resonated deep within him. It boiled in his veins, an almost painful pressure that threatened to make him explode if he didn't let it out. It was the only way he felt truly alive. In those moments, he breathed fully. He vibrated. He felt.
And above all, he was free.
He didn't notice the metal door that opened behind him with a quiet creak. Nor did he see the slender figure that suddenly stopped moving.
***
Crowley remained frozen, his sunglasses still on his nose despite the darkness. His golden eyes had widened behind the tinted lenses.
Aziraphale was singing.
Not that polite little hum he sometimes let out in the bookstore. No. This was raw, heart-rending. His voice, usually so soft and measured, broke on high notes laden with pain. He was almost shouting, carried by a powerful piano that resonated in his ears. His body swayed to the rhythm of the drums, his shoulders trembling, his hands moving in time with the words he spoke.
Vulnerable.
Exposed.
Gorgeous.
Crowley felt a shiver run down his spine. He hadn't expected this. Not from his angel, so reserved, so introverted, always so self-possessed. And yet… it was as if all the chains Aziraphale usually wore had suddenly shattered.
***
He didn't even know he was singing.
***
And that voice… Enchanting. Filled with such pure emotion that it saturated the air around them. Crowley remained there, mesmerized, unable to look away. In his mind, a single thought kept looping.
He is extraordinary.
An incredible talent, hidden for so long. A pain he never showed. A freedom he only allowed himself here, believing he was alone.
Crowley was speechless. For once, he was at a loss for words.
But everything changed when the next song started.
Creep by Radiohead.
Aziraphale's voice immediately twisted, as if each word were tearing at his guts. He was consumed by the words, by his own emotions, which had been suppressed for too long.
***
He loved Crowley. And that love was a curse. He was so perfect, so handsome, so like him. His best friend. The one he couldn't lose. So he kept it all inside, night after night, crying into his pillow, letting his thoughts drive him mad.
Singing was his only escape. To shout out his pain. To shout out his love.
All this suffering shone through in his voice, pure, heart-rending, vibrant in the cold night air.
***
Crowley felt his eyes burn. He sobbed silently, unable to contain the emotion that overwhelmed him. It was so beautiful. So tragic. And he felt exactly the same. Every note resonated within him like an echo of his own torment.
Then he approached, slowly. And he began to sing with him.
His hoarse, slightly broken voice blended with Aziraphale's in perfect, almost supernatural harmony.
Aziraphale jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder. He turned his head, his eyes wide, still brimming with tears. But he didn't stop. On the contrary, he removed his headphones with a trembling gesture and put the phone on speakerphone. The music rose between them, raw and powerful in the London night.
They sang together. All their feelings finally released, finally expressed.
They looked each other straight in the eyes. And they understood each other. Without a word. Everything was there.
Crowley moved closer. Aziraphale raised a hesitant hand and caressed his cheek, wiping away a tear with his thumb. Crowley instinctively leaned into that warm palm.
They were offering their hearts to each other, there on that rooftop, through that song.
At the last note, Crowley delicately placed his lips on Aziraphale's. The kiss was at first soft, trembling, overflowing with restrained love. Then Aziraphale parted his lips slightly and Crowley deepened the kiss, their tongues finding each other with an almost painful tenderness.
When they separated, breathless and panting, they murmured at the same time.
"I love you."
An incredulous laugh escaped them, forehead to forehead, eyes closed, as if they still dared not believe it was real.
Crowley was the first to speak, his voice still hoarse.
“I didn’t know you sang.”
Aziraphale smiled weakly, still a little out of breath.
“I didn’t know you were listening.”
Crowley let out a soft, wet laugh.
“I was worried, you know. I looked for you everywhere.”
“I just had… Too many emotions,” Aziraphale replied, turning towards the view. “I needed to release them. I like being up here, high up. Seeing the sky. It calms me.”
He paused, his gaze lost in the city lights.
“Shouting what I feel through a song… it’s the only way I’ve found to truly express myself. It makes me feel alive. I feel free.”
Crowley gazed at him, captivated by the beauty of this angel who had just opened his soul to him.
“I thought you expressed yourself mainly through writing.”
Aziraphale turned his head towards him, a sad smile on his lips.
“It’s what I use by default. At home… I wasn’t allowed to sing. I always kept it a secret. I couldn’t. But it’s really what keeps me going. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just… feelings. Deep inside me.”
Crowley nodded his head, understandingly.
“With me, you’ll never have to hide again. You can sing whenever you want, however you want. Your voice is… incredible. I want to keep hearing it. We could even send each other songs. To say what we feel, what we can’t put into words.”
Aziraphale's eyes shone with suppressed tears. He looked at Crowley with almost incredulous adoration.
How was it possible that he loved her in return? That he was so perfect?
Crowley looked at Aziraphale for a long moment, then murmured softly:
“We should go home. It’s chilly.”
Aziraphale hesitated. His emotions were still too raw, too intense. He knew he hadn't released everything. He needed to keep singing, like one needs air. It was intense, almost uncontrollable.
Crowley saw his hesitation and smiled at him tenderly, a rare smile, without any trace of sarcasm.
“Do you want to know something else? Your voice is extraordinary, you know. I would love to hear a little more… if you want.”
Aziraphale lowered his eyes, suddenly embarrassed.
“I don’t know if I can. I’ve never sung in front of anyone. It blocks me… nothing comes out.”
Crowley nodded his head in understanding.
“Okay. I’ll wait for you inside, then.”
He pretended to leave, pushed open the metal door… but didn't go down. He stayed right behind it, leaning against the wall, silent, listening.
Aziraphale waited for the door to close. He took a deep breath, looked up at the starry sky, and began to sing again. Louder this time. Freer. The emotions he had kept imprisoned for centuries were finally pouring out, note after note, into the night.
He sang for a long time.
When he finally stopped, breathless, his cheeks wet, he remained there, lost in contemplation of the horizon, his mind still in turmoil.
The door opened softly behind him. Crowley returned, looking worried. Without a word, he approached and embraced him from behind, his arms around his waist, his chin resting on his shoulder. His body felt warm against Aziraphale's back.
“How are you?” he murmured.
Aziraphale remained silent for a moment, his hands resting on Crowley's. Then he replied, his voice a little hoarse.
“I don’t know… But all I know is that I’m madly in love with you.”
Crowley tightened his embrace, burying his face in Aziraphale's neck. His warm breath contrasted with the cool night air.
“Me too,” he murmured against his skin. “I’m madly in love with you. For so long… So long that I’d come to believe it had become a part of me.”
Aziraphale slowly turned in his arms to face him. His eyes still shone with tears, but this time they were of pure happiness. He raised his hands and cupped Crowley's face, caressing his cheekbones with his thumbs with infinite tenderness.
“My dear, my wonderful Crowley…” he breathed.
He rested their foreheads together. Their noses brushed against each other. For a long moment, they simply remained like that, breathing the same air, their eyes closed, savouring each other's warmth.
Crowley slipped a hand down Aziraphale's back, under his jacket, slowly caressing his spine. With the other, he gently took his hand and intertwined their fingers, bringing their joined hands to his lips to place a slow, reverent kiss upon them.
“I’ll never let you hide again,” he whispered. “Not your songs, not your heart. Everything you are… I want it. All of it.”
Aziraphale let out a small, trembling sigh of happiness. He pressed closer until their bodies were perfectly aligned. He kissed the corner of Crowley's lips, then his cheek, his temple.
“I love you,” he said between each kiss. “I love you, I love you, I love you…”
Crowley laughed softly, a happy, slightly broken laugh, before capturing his lips in a deep, slow kiss, overflowing with love. A kiss that said everything they had never said before. When they parted, Crowley rested his forehead against Aziraphale's again, a hand tucked into his blond curls.
“Let’s go home, my angel,” he murmured. “I want to hear you sing in the bookstore, in the Bentley, in the shower if you want. I want you to sing for me every day.”
Aziraphale smiled, radiant, and nodded his head.
“I want you to stay by my side while I sing. To touch me. To kiss me. To love me…”
Crowley kissed him again, more gently this time, then put an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close as they finally headed for the door. Aziraphale naturally slipped his arm around his waist, his head resting slightly against the demon's shoulder.
They descended the steps slowly, entwined, as if the rest of the world no longer existed. A whispered "I love you" against each other's lips.
On the roof, the wind carried away the last notes of a forgotten song.
Below, two hearts that had finally found each other beat in unison to the same melody.