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r/AITAH · Posted by u/maddyaddy 7 days ago.
WIBTA if i told my friend’s boyfriend to kill himself?
NTA
Last week my friend R (28f) fell into the river and washed up on the shores of the Water Kingdoms, where she was “rescued” by the Sea King (????m) (he’s “immortal and undying like the sea” whatever that means). He brought her to his ocean palace and gave her a lot of jewels and gifts and the crown of his kingdom. He wants them to be bonded mates, which is apparently a big deal—something about how one person will experience the other one’s pain? My friend has been sending me updates and she really likes him, but she called me about a half an hour ago because the Sea King said that she didn’t have a sealskin to give him as a sign of commitment so he was going to take her cane (she has EDS), cause, get this, she “wouldn’t need it cause she only had to sit on the throne and terrify the courtiers with her beauty”. I’m (27f) on the way to the river right now, but like, I have to tell him to kill himself, right? Like my dude is just asking for it. I literally gotta.
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ComedyJohn200 points · 7 days ago
FELL INTO THE RIVER? WAS SHE DRUNK? ESH? Edit: Just saw the thing about the cane. Sorry
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maddyaddy 1.4k points · 7 days ago
Kill yourself.
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underwaterscholar2.4 points · 6 days ago
I agree that there’s some serious red flags with this relationship (she’s known this guy a week?) but surely there’s some more constructive ways to deal with it. Have you tried having a serious talk with your friend and expressing your concerns? Tenative YTA.
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ForkingGiveUp2.7 points · 6 days ago
don’t bother, OP’s already gone for the heart of the issue. Check recent posts.
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EvilApple1.2k points · 6 days ago
… now INAL but you cannot be admitting these things on bill nye’s internet.
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BrushyBrushy300 points · 6 days ago
I asked this in another thread but in case you didn’t see it, there’s some serious questions that I think need to be asked. What’s this guy’s fiscal policy like, OP? What’s his justice department like? What’s his military budget? What sort of cabinet does he have? Does she know these things? Asking questions about money-handling and ethics are important to any relationship, and much more when structural power is involved.
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MaddyAddy 1.6k points · 6 days ago
doesn’t matter, I solved the issue.
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BrushyBrushy421 points · 6 days ago
OP what do you mean here? Info?
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MaddyAddy 2.1k points · 6 days ago
He wasn’t going to follow directions so I did it for him
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BrushyBrushy521 points · 6 days ago
OP WHAT DO YOU MEAN. INFO?
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BrushyBrushy1.3k points · 6 days ago
DID YOU KILL THE MONARCH OF THE WATER KINGDOMS? SURELY YOUR FRIEND ISN”T GOING TO LIKE THAT.
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maddyaddy 4.6k points · 6 days ago
Follow up: does anyone know how to stabilize a land bond with every ocean at once? with there being some leadership changes, the water is kind of freaking out. BIG storm happening.
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BrushyBrushy900 points · 6 days ago
Oh my god you really killed the Sea King.
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maddyaddy 4.6k points · 6 days ago
He told R to shut up and look pretty he was literally asking for it.
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EvilApple723 points · 6 days ago
I don’t think that’s how murder convictions work.
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WasabiFingers1.7k points · 6 days ago
No i think she’s right. No jury would convict, right?
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PossomProbate642 points · 6 days ago
NONE of us should be talking about this publicly. IAL and I’m advising OP to shut up now
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UnderwaterScholar21 points · 2 days ago
Actually Water Kingdoms don’t accept mundane evidence in court, there’s been some interesting legal precedent about this.
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CornerstoneRemoved1.4k points · 6 days ago
Wait is that why all the hurricanes were popping up? OP did you level miami?
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maddyaddy 2.1k points · 6 days ago
I stabilized the land bond before the hurricanes made landfall don’t be such a baby
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GaterBoneDaddy132 points · 6 days ago
There was a swimming pool IN my roof.
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maddyaddy 921 points · 6 days ago
grow up and enjoy your free swimming pool
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ForkingGiveUp1.1k points · 1 day ago
OP I’m dying for an update. How did you stabilize the land bond? If there was a mate bond involved, is your friend okay? Are you like, stuck in the ocean kingdoms now?
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maddyaddy 4.1k points · 3 hours ago
Wow I almost forgot about this post. I got back and I had like eight hundred notifications. You people need hobbies. Anyways the land bond was easy to stabilize, R was already on the Throne of the Ocean so we just did a little blood ritual and made her the Sea Queen. Turns out it was a good thing I got here when I did because you know how the Sea King was being fucking weird about the mating bond? It turns out that he was using that so when he got stabbed his bonded mate would take the injury, so he’s just been using brides of the ocean to avoid assassination attempts. I got there right before he was going to do the ceremony. R was kind of pissed at me for killing her boyfriend but she got over it when i pointed out that she was the queen now and that meant she could date the cute guard who kept bringing her cushions, and also the former king had meant to kill her. We’re chill now. I might be stuck here, but whatever, I’ll learn to swim or something.
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ComedyJohn152 points · 3 hours ago
OP you went to the Water Kingdoms without knowing how to swim? Did you not read the name of the country?
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maddyaddy 2.4k points · 2 hours ago
I also can’t lay a fucking egg it hadn’t really come up in my life before now. Some of us have jobs.
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ForkingGiveUp923 points · 3 hours ago
I guess all’s well that ends well? Thanks for the update, OP!
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CornerstoneRemoved1.1k points · 3 hours ago
Last months’ hurricanes did $105 billion dollars in damages.
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maddyaddy 324 points · 1 hour ago
Yeah well but R’s safe so literally get over it. Bunch of whiners. Wait till you see the ice reform we’re planning. Let’s just say global warming isn’t going to be an issue any more.
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BrushyBrushy24 points · 32 minutes ago
OP i am begging you to explain. INFO.
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BrushyBrushy6 points · 2 minutes ago
OP PLEASE. INFO.
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SupremeWannabe7.4k points · 7 days ago
There’s a lot to unpack here.
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EvilApple3.2 points · 7 days ago
Can we go back to how your friend doesn’t know how old her partner is? Red flag? How old do we think the sea is? INFO.
ForkingGiveUp2.9k points · 7 days ago
That old and didn’t have a partner already? Like maybe bride of the ocean is a position with a lot of turnover, but let’s be serious, that shows a concerning lack of commitment for an established monarch. I’m going with YWNBTA
BrushyBrushy2.9k points · 7 days ago
All monarchs are bad news are you kidding me. That girl is never going to have a moment’s peace, between court politics and the pressures of the kingdom. What’s this guy’s fiscal policy like, OP? What’s his justice department like? What’s his military budget? What sort of cabinet does he have? Does she know these things? INFO.
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