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The way on the street towards the park was oddly quiet besides the dozens of people walking around, trying to get to their destination in the bustling, crowded city of Shibuya. Undoubtedly, it was extraordinarily hot and the crowd itself did not make this feeling of the stuffed, hot air any better in the slightest around. People usually didn’t talk here— and for Tenma Tsukasa, the world’s most future star, silence and stares was something he was often used to.
After all, he was the world’s greatest star! He was destined for absolute stardom and to become the best of the best! Tenma Tsukasa, world’s greatest star, the future idol! His fist pumped his chest tighter as his strides became wider and more confident through the crowd. People obviously stared at his attire and loud demeanor but he didn’t care. They were just envious of his absolute idol aura!
(He didn’t notice the people whispering about how weird he was and the fact he’d been narrating his own thoughts extremely loudly for the past five minutes. Of course he didn’t. Tenma Tsukasa, after all, has always been an expert at somehow being blissfully unaware when people are obviously uncomfortable around him and the people who view him as uncomfortably strange.)
Finally, he managed to push through the crowd far enough to see the park in his sight, which quickly visualized to become right in front of him: there were some swings, a humble space for children to play at and it was quite welcoming towards children, teenagers and adults all alike. Although, it was exceptionally hot out here.
What a disappointment and worry there. He just hoped Nene, Rui and Emu wouldn’t feel as though they were dying from this heat during practice. Rui was a very trusted friend and companion: although he often put him through challenges, it was all, at the very end, what he needed to become a star! He’d shine so brightly as a star when he got big with Wonderlands x Showtime! He would reach for the skies—
His voice roared loudly, vocalizing his thoughts as he stood up from the swings, striking his beautiful pose (although a very certain someone would’ve said something very different,) “Tenma Tsukasa! Soaring pegasus!”
Silence. Nobody seemed to reply to him— but they all stared at him when he turned his head to look. What could’ve been the cause of this?
…oh, he scared a kid. His face frowned upon the sight of this child, going to comfort the child, but the kid just ran away towards their parents, beginning to cry as they clinged onto them and the father gave Tsukasa a look of irritated annoyance and disgust. Well, that was a great start.
Tsukasa sat back down on the swings, checking his phone as his legs swung back and forth wildly. Nene had suggested for the entirety of Wonderlands x Showtime— Rui and Emu, to hang out with them at the park for a day off to have fun. No theatre troupe meeting today or practice.
But it seems Emu and Rui cancelled the further he read— Emu was busy with a management program that she was getting experience at and Rui probably just locked himself in his workshop for too long and didn’t realize. He could’ve went to go drag Rui out from his house but it would've been far too long of a walk from the park to there.
Something at the cancellation of the two of his beloved and dear friends hit a pang in his heart but he immediately pushed it down.
They must have things going on so therefore he shouldn’t be sad. He was Tenma Tsukasa! He didn’t get sad, no matter what. He was always strong and could handle this. He was big brother Tenma Tsukasa! Plus, Nene was going to be there. His dear and beloved Nene! Oh, he couldn’t wait to see her when she got here. The diva had finally got off of the videogames and wanted to hang out with the world star Tsukasa!
It was now 12:26PM, August 15th and he heard the very familiar footsteps of Nene! Of course, he practically ran towards her to greet her on this very fine summer day in the park, hastily shoving the careless phone in his pocket.
His voice was bolsterously loud, probably loud enough where even the shops on the next town over could hear him and they just pretended to not hear his idol aura.
“Gooooddddd morninggggggggggg Nene!” His arm instinctively wrapped around Nene’s shoudler without much care in the world, despite the massive fool he was now beginning to make of both himself and Nene. “How is my beautiful diva?”
She winced, her face turning as annoyed as her usual fiery temper among the two’s bantering and jokes. “Good morning to you too, Tsukasa. May you quiet down so they—“ she points at the couple behind them that already has their phone out, like a bad omen to be around them, “—don’t call the cops on us?” She finished her sentence, pulling away from Tsukasa gently. “..also, don’t call me a diva.” She blushed, turning her face away from Tsukasa.
“Of course!” He yells, seemingly even louder then beforehand and that reply towards the dearest diva of them all, Nene, earned him a muttered glare of shut up, Tsukasa, you dumbass… you’re making them stare even more…
He took Nene by the hand despite the initial blush and embarrassment from the physical contact and led her over to the swings in the park, happily (and loudly announcing they were going to swing together) jumping onto the swing first.
While Nene sat right besides him, he began violently swinging up and down like the sunshine was his personal motivator to be extra annoying to her. It was almost as if Nene got a part of him that was inside of him even more fired up whenever he saw her— surely he respected the quiet moments she often needed between the two. But she was always more comfortable even if she complained about how annoyingly loud Tenma Tsukasa was.
It was silent for a few moments. Not for long, of course not! “So, did my favorite diva finally venture out of her room for once?” His smug voice filled the silence between them as whole, so whole that the park was beginning to stare at the both of them again. He really needed to learn what an inside voice was. Not like Nene didn’t lecture him about it constantly.
“Jeez, do you need to be so loud about it?” She paused for a moment in speaking to him and Tsukasa looked down, his face turning into visible confusion yet excitement, immediately halting on the swings. “Nene, is that—“
“Yes, I see. It is a cat.” She replied.
Nene.. had a cat? On her lap?
His eyes practically went wide from happiness and surprise, studying the cat with one hand on his chin, deep in observation. It was a black cat that had these piercing eyes that seemed to stare right through him, as if it might read his thoughts. It was creepy but it was really something trivial that he noticed. “It’s a cat!” He notes his observation. He reaches over the swings to pet the cat who had skillfully climbed into Nene’s lap…
—and it bit him, hissing violently as it climbed even further up onto Nene, almost as if it was scared of him for some odd reason. He frowned, his fingers prickling with a bit of blood. Why did the cat absolutely seem to hate him and not Nene?
She chuckled, her eyes folding at the corners slightly and the faintest laughter appeared on her face. “Guess it just doesn’t like you, Tsukasa, then.” She suggested gently, but her face told a different story of smugness behind the action.
He sighed, his voice about an octave lower than usual so as to not scare the cat. “Well, excuse you! I’ll have you know cats absolutely adore me!” He pumps his chest as if it proves his case, dramatically so. He must defend himself against Nene! She bruised his beautifully fragile world star ego.
She giggled. “Oh yeah, then, go and prove it.” Nene’s face was absolutely beautiful and something he wanted to keep admiring. If only he could’ve stayed in this moment forever with Nene, then—- he would’ve given the actual world for this to occur infinitely.
Although, he pondered, what would an infinite loop of loving Nene forever at the swingset and the cat even feel like? His cheeks flushed a deep crimson red.
A hand poked his cheek, a very familiar hand that belongs to a very familiar diva. “—Oi, you’re zoning out.” She crossed her legs as one hand went to go pet the cat. “That’s not in character for you, ‘the world's greatest star.’ Lighten up.” Her tone was a jab at Tsukasa, physically nudging him aggressively to ground him and he just gave a thoughtful hum.
“Nene, you’re just jealous of my aura!”
“Oh, god no. I wouldn’t want to be jealous of you of all people.”
“Absolutely not! How dare you say that about THE Tenma Tsukasa!?”
“Take it back!”
“No, you take it back!” and so on.
And soon, their bickering died down into just quiet murmurs and the thought of making thoughtful gestures towards the other. Tsukasa quickly checked his phone while the two of them found temporary comfort in the solitude and silence.
Surely enough, it was 12:29PM, August 15th.
This was oddly nice for the two of them, the two that usually seemed to always bicker and never found a way to stop arguing towards the other about something stupid. On an oddly hot summer day on the swingset in the park, with the most comfortable silence that seemed to stretch between them, was something Tsukasa liked. It was peaceful.
Surely, it was relaxing, almost pleasing. It made Tsukasa not say anything of a loud noise— only uttering a quiet hum from his lips and instead simply admired Nene from a short distance away, his lips pursued. So beautiful.. the canary, as one of their roles had called, Bless… the princess… the one Nene played.. god it was beautiful how many roles she could play and how amazingly she did in each one.
“You know, I kinda hate summer, Tsukasa.” Nene remarks as the two of them are sitting on the swingset together, cat still in Nene’s lap casually. It was almost casual in the way it was said to Tsukasa, like Nene had only recently considered this fact being a possibility.
“You, Nene.. hating summer?” He couldn’t possibly imagine that for someone like Nene.
Nene? Hating summer? It didn’t exactly make much sense. But the more he considered it, the more he thought it was definitely in character for Nene. It was easier to lounge inside and play endless rounds of videogames.
Besides, whenever they practiced and performed shows in the glistening and burning heat in Phoenix Wonderland and beyond, it was honestly unbearable sometimes, causing usually one of them to inevitably even pass out or almost pass out before practice training had ended. So, really, it must’ve made sense.
Had he ever paid attention to something as small as that to realize she must’ve despised the summer heat all of this time? Possibly not.
Well, it was another thing he now knew about her that he hadn’t before that he could accommodate for. He could suggest to Rui on doing more of the shows towards the inside with air conditioning or even cutting practice short in the future on the days where a heat wave warning might be needed, or—-
All of the sudden, it was like a blur.
The cat, happily content on Nene’s lap while she pet it, had now suddenly gotten off of her lap, running away towards the flashing street lights in a panic. Nene, eagerly stupid yet brave, began running after the cat at a speed he hadn’t ever seen from her in the past during training. How attached had she gotten to this stupid cat? He needed to stop her right now from doing something as rash as she usually had done.
He was so stupid! The boots he was wearing was unbearably slow compared to the soft click clack of her sneakers against the asphalt streets.
He just had to make this work somehow and keep running— because he absolutely couldn’t let her run into the street! The cat would have to be okay on the other side, but he needed to stop her.
“Nene! Wait up!” He desperately yelled, his voice louder then ever before, where he finally approached the street where the cat had now finally darted into the court road, barely managing to catch up to her. The light was green, yes, but that didn’t mean danger wasn’t going to be there in the streets. “The street lights— they’re green, but—“ His breath ran ragged as he ran faster.
But, oh poor Nene, so ambitious, she had run into the before he could’ve grabbed her hand to pull her back. Nene had run into the court road right there.
Right when the light turned red.
Right when a truck came flying through the intersection.
Before he saw it, he let out the loudest scream of horror that pierced even his own ears so loudky, before realizing it was his own, as the truck cruelly drove away from the two of them, nobody else strangely around within this moment. Nene was in the middle of the intersection, but the cat was strangely absent from her surroundings.
Her limbs, oh god, her limbs, they were uncannily twisted together and bent. Blood drooled off of her mouth and her eyes looked so robotic. So, so robotic to the point it was dizzying.
He let out another scream as he attempted to grab her cold and lifeless hand and it disconnected right there, melting like the sun itself has a personal vendetta, causing him to throw up right there.
It was disgustingly gross, disgustingly silent, everything was so disgusting. His barely conscious hand that was numb went up to reach towards her face, cupping it so gently.
He didn’t want to break that next, too.
Nothing of her body was unlike actual human bone and flesh anymore. She was dead, wasn’t she? This was bad, oh no, oh fuck… oh, oh, oh, no. His sweet Nene! Nene.. He couldn’t lose somebody else, not after Saki, not after anything. But it wasn’t temporary this time. Of course, it wasn’t.
Tenma Tsukasa, the happiest world star, one that could cheer up even an inadequate tree, absolutely weaped on the sidewalk, his chest hysterically shaking and his body horrifically shaking as he slammed his fist into Nene’s body, her blood and scent splashing all over him, as if praying she would’ve given a pulse and suddenly woken up right again.
But nothing. The heat was so cruel, he swore he heard it already mustering cruel remarks at him for being so stupid and dumb. Of course he lost another person he couldn’t even protect or save, but this time they were permanently gone and never coming back again.
“Nene! You were supposed to be the best vocalist of this generation!” He screamed-cried, although he couldn’t even tell his voice which was distorted from this sadness, desperate hands clutching at her clothing tighter like he could revive her with pure, sheer will.
“You.. you promised you’d never do something stupid! So- so- stupid! Nene!” He sobbed. He couldn’t handle Nene dying, or anyone dying, really. But especially not Nene. He couldn’t take this anymore! Why was this world so cruel!? He slapped himself for how hard he was panicking. Where was everyone, more importantly!? This street was so busy, god, where was someone to revive Nene and gently pick her up into their arms and save her?!
As he cried on the sidewalk, clutching her broken body in his shaking hands to his chest, praying that this wasn’t real and that she was indeed alive and this was a dream, the weirdest and dumbest thing ever must’ve occurred.
Cicadas— dozens and perhaps hundreds of them, surrounded him and Nene, filling the awkward silence into a packed and chaotic feeling of being trapped in this summer heat, right next to his best friend’s dead body that he couldn’t tear his eyes away from.
The heat from the most distant summer lake back at the park somehow had travelled through the trajectory from there to here, reminding him nothing of this cruel accident wasn’t a dream nor a joke. Nene Kusanagi was dead.
The last thing Tenma Tsukasa saw before blacking out were the sounds of those cicadas surrounding him while his fingers interlocked with Nene’s hand, the cruel heat plundering through his imagination to remind him of how cruel this world had been.
—-oh, it was just a nightmare he had. He woke up in a cold sweat and panic in the dark of his room, the open room design intentionally now feeling something akin to exposing his biggest secrets and vulnerabilities right there that nagged at his heart like bugs. Bugs, ha.. not helpful to think about in this scenario. His chest heaved tightly, tears still falling down his still and dried out face. So, Nene wasn’t actually dead in the road and nor was he in such dreadful despair. It must’ve been far beyond when the night had begun. What time was it?
He forcibly grabbed the alarm clock, which had then read off 12:03AM, the clock hands pointing to it being August 14th. That was funny, actually hilarious for the world’s greatest future star. Really funny, to be honest.
Because he remembered his nightmare quite clearly for somebody who represses every nightmare he usually has— it was August 15th, 12:30PM, a truck plunged into Kusanagi Nene while chasing a runaway cat, making her dead seemingly instantaneously among the contact of the truck to her body.
He even remembered down to the moment he made that child accidentally cry and the annoying bickering with Nene over how loud and bolsterous he apparently was, the walk to the park, the subtle tug of admiration and attraction he held for Nene when she sat on the swings like that. But he especially remembered the annoying cicadas that seemed to not leave his side at that very moment, haunting him like ghosts and bad omens he feared.
It was quite enigmatic actually— he’d never utter such words to his diva Nene about this horrific nightmare, but it was oddly descriptive. Perhaps, he could use that fear one day to incorporate it into whatever acting he had in the future.
But it was also terrifying simultaneously. What if this was foreshadowing something? He couldn’t let Nene get hurt under his watch if he knew he could prevent it from happening again! Absolutely not! He always promised to protect her no matter what and he would uphold his promise to protect the diva!
Was he already grieving the death of somebody that was just a stupid nightmare he had experienced? Gods, he was pathetic. If Nene, Rui and Emu ever saw him in this vulnerable state, they’d certainly fall so worried and dare he ever worry his troupe about his wellbeing! That was disastrous and heartbreakingly sad to dump onto them! So, therefore, he mustn’t ever express some dumb sadness over this again!
Would they just call him stupid if he even tried anyways? No, Rui, Emu and Nene were realistically way too kind for that and instead they’d utter nonsense of something along the lines of Tsukasa-kun, we care for you! Please come to us with any worries you have! Don’t bottle your feelings up.. and so forth.
He laid his head back down on the pillow, the star not letting out another sound. Only then, did he bury his face in the pillow and sob back to sleep.
The way on the street towards the park was oddly quiet besides the dozens of people walking around, trying to get to their destination in the bustling, crowded city of Shibuya. Undoubtedly, it was extraordinarily hot and the crowd itself did not make this feeling of the stuffed, hot air any better in the slightest around. People usually didn’t talk here— and for Tenma Tsukasa, the world’s most future star, silence and stares was something he was often used to.
After all, he was the world’s greatest star! He was destined for absolute stardom and to become the best of the best! Tenma Tsukasa, world’s greatest star, the future idol! His fist pumped his chest tighter as his strides became wider and more confident through the crowd. People obviously stared at his attire and loud demeanor but he didn’t care. They were just envious of his absolute idol aura!
(He didn’t notice the people whispering about how weird he was and the fact he’d been narrating his own thoughts extremely loudly for the past five minutes. Of course he didn’t. Tenma Tsukasa, after all, has always been an expert at somehow being blissfully unaware when people are obviously uncomfortable around him and the people who view him as uncomfortably strange.)
Finally, he managed to push through the crowd far enough to see the park in his sight, which quickly visualized to become right in front of him: there were some swings, a humble space for children to play at and it was quite welcoming towards children, teenagers and adults all alike. Although, it was exceptionally hot out here.
But it was strange, something compelled to pull at his heart stings tightly. He remembered his nightmare from last night and he knew that he needed to protect Nene from whatever could happen at this park. Even though the threat was seemingly nonexistent and just a nightmare.
But the events among the two of them seemed to play out the exact same as in the nightmare: that same kid cried to their mother and father again once he spoke, Nene and Tsukasa entered into the park and bickered on the swings for a long while, talking about seemingly nothing and everything, Tsukasa admired her face for even longer, but the cat seemed strangely absent.
Well, at least, until now.
It was silent for a few moments. Not for long, of course not! “So, did my favorite diva finally venture out of her room for once?” His smug voice filled the silence between them as whole, so whole that the park was beginning to stare at the both of them again. He really needed to learn what an inside voice was. Not like Nene didn’t lecture him about it constantly.
“Jeez, do you need to be so loud about it?” She paused for a moment in speaking to him and Tsukasa looked towards the direction—and that cat was right there, just creepily watching the two with a mischievous glint. So, he was right. That god awful black cat was back again! No, he couldn’t let her fall to the same fate again!
Before the cat could scurry to Nene’s lap, Tsukasa suddenly grabbed Nene’s arm. “Oi, Nene, I— think we should both head home now! It’s so hot out here and you’re practically sweating!” His words tripped over themselves quickly as he pulled her along with him, away from whatever the cat seemed to have planned for them. He couldn’t risk this playing out the exact same within his dream, no. He couldn’t risk losing Nene again in the same way he had beforehand. He just couldn’t bare to see it!
“Okay? You’re such in a rush, Jesus. What are you—“ but he ignored what she had to say, pulling her further and further away from the source of the threat— being the black cat ominously following them through their escape away. Only then, as the two of them were towards the side streets, had something awful occurred once again.
Right as he had begun explaining what his nightmare was to Nene as they walked, she stepped in front of him just for a lone second. “—and then, in the nightmare, you ran in front of the court road after that god awful black cat and then you—“ His panicked and distracted fearful tone meant he wasn’t paying attention for a single, lone second.
That lone second was seemingly all of the time it needed to repeat a horrible fate for Nene.
Because, oh poor Nene, poor sweet Nene, looked up with the confident yet absentminded strides of the two talking about the strange nightmare as she took one more step forward, agreeing with Tsukasa about how stupidly weird the nightmare was and then it happened again.
A pole from the sky fell down.
And pierced right through her body.
Those stupid cicadas, huh? They were right there, right there, as he once again fell to the floor, sobbing violently with a pierced scream. Nene was dead— again. But this time he was aware of it and couldn’t even stop her! What was wrong with him!? He could’ve easily saved her, if only she didn’t walk ahead of him, if only he had done something more! And it was that god awful stupid time again! August 15th, 12:30PM.
Would it always be August 15th, 12:30PM forever? No, that couldn’t be right. This had to be some kind of sick dream that he was reliving again and maybe he just dreamed of it way beforehand or falsely remembered something. She couldn’t actually be dead again.
He couldn’t accept that she was dead again, not again when he could’ve had the power to stop it once more. No, no, just absolutely not.
Tenma Tsukasa, the happiest world star, one that could cheer up even an inadequate tree, absolutely weaped on the side street, his chest hysterically shaking and his body horrifically shaking as he slammed his fist into Nene’s body, or well the hole in Nene’s body— the blood from the pole impaling straight into her and her scent splashing all over him, as if praying she would’ve given a pulse and suddenly woken up right again.
But nothing. The heat was so cruel, he swore he heard it already mustering cruel remarks at him for being so stupid and dumb. Again. This stupid heat plundering daze was sneering at him again like it was already useless to try again.
Of course he lost another person he couldn’t even protect or save, but this time Nene was permanently gone and was never coming back again. Oh, Nene. He just cried and cried, sobbing right there with no clue on what to even do anymore. What could he do in this situation?
He was still just a kid himself, barely even eighteen, with a future ahead of him to become a grand star. He had to be happy for everyone else around him yet failed to do even that trivial yet simple thing. Why was this happening to him of all people? Why not anybody else? It was selfish and cruel to think of it that way but it really was true.
He’d rather just not have this happen at all and then he and Nene could go on with their life, get married one day, have children, become famous, do what they wanted to do in the end if he somehow managed to secure Nene as his girlfriend— okay, maybe not, but...
But of course, that’s not reality. Of course it isn’t.
I look so stupid. So, so stupid, is only what he could think on the ground right there, tears flooding his vision. He had the nerve to laugh but it sounded absolutely insane from his fear driven state, his hands shaking. This was a dream and he’d just wake up again the next day and this would all go back to normal again. It wouldn’t happen again, he had to delude himself into believing that.
But her body was as lifeless as before.
But there was one thing apparent through the blistering heat of the sunset that never seemed to go away, even in his sorrow, something that lingered around him as if it was a cloud of misery, pain, doom and despair, something he noticed.
Nene’s cold, lifeless hand in his, her face had now turned to him and cruelly smiled. She was smiling? But it was so wrong. This wasn’t Nene at all.
She never smiled like this and this absolutely and definitely and utterly and totally wasn’t Nene. Maybe his face was really distorted from the sobbing he was doing but even then, it wouldn’t had distorted a single smile on her face to appear and then taunt her with the heat.
The cicadas— they came back again to haunt him in his peripheral vision. Again, as his eyes closed to the dizzy heat daze once more, he saw the last thing he never wanted to see again: the distorted sight of a dead body of the one he loved, smiling right back at him, and the runaway cat right behind him, smiling mischievously.
..this again, huh? He woke up in another cold sweat and let out another piercing scream of terror despite knowing the reality of what would happen next. Of course it wasn’t just a dream. Tsukasa had figured that out by the last cycle, only the second cycle and he had begun to accept that he was destined to always fail in the loop.. again.
But he was going to keep trying to save her, no matter what happened. He needed to save Kusanagi Nene against all odds and protect her from the wrath of this evil, evil world that had a time loop seemingly infinitely forever. Now, he had started to begin to regret wanting to love Nene forever. He regretted ever loving her at all.
Absolutely not! That was stupid. He’d keep going on and on, because if it was for Nene, his dear friend, his dear troupemate, his dear crush (that part hurt to even admit), his dear anything..
The pain of knowing that she would repeat in this loop anyways alone of dying to a truck hitting her again and again if he wasn’t there to stop her and save her each and every time was enough to fuel him.
It was enough to make him let out a wordless and pained laugh, considering the cruel reality of everything. Well, he must’ve got what he wished for when he wanted a world where he could infinitely love her forever.
It just wasn’t currently in the way that he wanted for it to go for the two of them, for him, at the very least. He should be careful about what he wishes for next. He should wish for the safe arrival of Nene to survive the next time and to be able to save her again. He refused to give up.
As the world’s most future and world newfound star, he needed to save Nene before he ever became a star. He needed to save her before he could ever think to consider he might have the chance of becoming her savior. He needed to save her now and about yesterday. Tsukasa just prayed he wasn’t too late to save her this time. He just needed more time, even in a world where time seemed to infinitely stretch on for a specific moment only: August 15th.
Well, he couldn’t despair another second over his supposed agony to the situation. Agony he didn’t deserve to feel for himself. He had somebody he needed to save and somewhere he needed to go to save that someone, because, now, Tenma Tsukasa would save Kusanagi Nene, finally, once and for all.
He didn’t even bother walking to the park that very next day on August 15th, nor at the proper time of when it would supposedly happen again. He immediately went to Nene’s house where she was getting ready to leave to get some ice cream at one of the nearby shops near her house, standing at the door as he knocked and Nene was just leaving.
“Tsukasa?” Her usually playfully annoyed voice led to confusion, staring innocently in his eyes. “Why are you here, idiot? It’s not even time for us to go to the park yet. Did you not check your clock?” She crossed her arms.
She was in a casual green sweater top, a white undershirt and dark shorts, something she tended to wear to practice. He couldn’t help but admire her even when knowing the impending doom that rises every second he isn’t moving to save her. Save her. He needs to save her now.
She sighs, scrunching her nose at Tsukasa. “I’m not in the mood for you just staring at me, Tsukasa.” She uncrosses her arms and Tsukasa finally realizes he was staring at her, not responding.
A huge amount of embarrassment spawns way on his face through the stupidity he felt from focusing only on her outfit. Goddamn, Nene was too beautiful sometimes, it was hypnotizing.
“Nene, I can’t explain it, but,” His voice turned louder, commanding power and respect among her. “You will believe in me, Tenma Tsukasa, world future star, to save you!”
There, he grabbed her hand and despite the fact she raised a suspicious eyebrow and looked even more annoyed, calling him a word he definitely didn’t want to repeat to his own mind, there was a mutual understanding and trust for the other that everything would turn out alright.
Maybe Nene knew this was going on and was also aware of the reality that she was dying, but that seemed too far-fetched to make sense to him. So he stuck with the reality that she was unaware.
“Let’s go!~” and off the two went, to where, was questionable. But anywhere from there, far or near where they were might break the loop this time.
It was oddly quiet as the two began walking down the streets, Tsukasa’s pace unnaturally fast. His head darted around to make sure that dumb cat wasn’t following them again and that no poles were going to impale straight through Nene again, keeping her purposefully next to him but slightly behind him. Good, it was working. No black ominous cat to ruin the day and no stupid pole or truck to ram right into Nene and take the thought itself away.
Only as they left the city after thirty minutes of walking and off into a more reserved area of Shibuya did the two begin to banter again as before.
But this time, Tsukasa knew it might be their last time bantering again, so he made sure to have the most and memorable absolute fun with her on the way: the two bickering like an old and feral couple between the other loud enough for actual old couples to stare, holding hands together, even running freely through the meadows of the grass in the countryside endlessly until they found a new destination.
Those few hours were fun.
But of course, nothing lasts forever. It never did in the other loops or cycles of this stupid world, after all.
“Hey, idiot, I am getting hungry over here from you dragging me around all over the city.” She laughs at her own words and how much fun this was. “Let’s go get some ice cream over there.” Nene points at a seemingly unassuming ice cream shop. Tsukasa’s already on high alert for whatever might occur there— that stupid cat better not appear again, but nods anyway, not stopping her beautiful dream of getting ice cream.
The door chime brought him out of his thoughts as now Nene led him into the ice cream shop, the two of them getting a pile of a monstrous amount of ice cream and finding solace in a seat in the very back of the store, right across the other.
Well, better now then later, if Nene wasn’t even going to remember this in the end anyway. He must’ve had absolutely no fear at this point knowing Nene would most likely never reciprocate his own love back, and even if she did, if she died would she have even remembered his love for her?
Probably not.
But he had to say it, the thing choking at this throat, the one thing— no, the only thing, that might save them both out of the seemingly endless and infinite time loop once and for all.
it was 12:28PM, August 15th.
“I love you!” Well, it could’ve been a better start then just that being blurred out so quickly. He couldn’t control what his mouth had to say to her, however.
He watched Nene’s eyes grow absolutely wide and the immediate blush of a lifetime return to her face that made her absolutely ten times more beautiful and adorable, reminded just how much he loves this girl. He’d probably sacrifice anything for her if she asked at this point, for even five more minutes with her.
“Tsukasa..!” Her face turned worried and then relaxed. “So, that was what you were worrying about?” Well, it wasn’t, not really at the very least. She didn’t need to know that, however. He just had to lie and explaining everything that was happening to the two of them would become impossible in the time he had. He saw the way her face paused and her chest rose and fell before she responded again:
“I love you too.” Her smile turned into something bordering on possible happy tears if it was possible, her shoulders shaking perhaps from sobbing and her own happiness.
“You.. do?” Tsukasa’s eyes reflected the same exact thing, but in his was reflected an emptiness already in the very bottom of his eyes and a desperation that this might end the cycle once and for all. Please just end this stupid cycle and let them please get together and everything becomes a happy ever after like all of the plays they’ve done and not one of the tragedies they’ve done in the past.
“Do you..” want to be my girlfriend, was something he didn’t elaborate on. He didn’t need to put the full words to see the immediate confirmation of Nene’s face and lips moving to speak the final words he needed to hear, words that ignited some form of hope into his mind.
“Yes. Absolutely.”
That was probably all he needed. He gave a gesture to ask if she wanted a kiss and she nodded.
The two of them leaned across the table to the other, their eyes both full of sparkles and happiness in the ice cream shop. This was it, this is what would end the cycle once and for all, right? This had to end everything.
Their lips were just about to touch…
But oh, 12:30PM, August 15th rang out.
And August 15th, 12:30PM when the summer was hot enough to feel insanely warm, even when indoors and away from that specific black cat still wasn’t kind to Tenma Tsukasa nor Kusanagi Nene in the slightest.
All he could do was helplessly watch as the staircase they were sitting right next to began to crumble in front of Tsukasa’s very own eyes, causing Nene to immediately pull back from his lips.
No! Not this stupid cycle again! He couldn’t let it happen this time, not this time when he was sure he had avoided it entirely, just when he confessed his true feelings for Nene! How useless was he!? He failed again, again and again. How many more times must he fail to finally reach her and end this endless cycle of love?
But when he attempted to do the one thing he could do in that very moment; push her out of harm's way, she shoved him backwards herself, barely out of range of the harm as a pair of stairs came down to crush her right in front of his eyes.
And of course, he let out a loud scream, watching her become flattened like a pancake, her body sprawled out with lifeless and dead eyes. Of course, the many customers in the shop had seemed to suddenly disappear as they had before, it was something he had expected by now.
Tsukasa’s chest heaved as he attempted to lift the stairs off of her body. Of course, even with his strength, it didn’t work. He couldn’t exactly will out the strength to get a whole staircase off of her nor could magic somehow get it off of her anyway. It was probably designed that way so he suffered even more.
She was stuck, only he could see her body parts and limbs sticking out underneath the rubble of the broken stairs and a pool of blood right underneath it, mixed with bone and flesh.
Another disgusting sight of her body that peeled his eyes away, making him throw up once more, wretching violently through an anxiety attack of sobbing and discomfort and fear. Another loop, another time he failed to save her— again. His promise had failed and even confessing his feelings to her hadn’t worked. Would August 15th, 12:30PM repeat for eternity yet again? He found himself asking the same exact questions as the other loops. This must be on purpose. Surely, it’s just to fuck with him.
He felt his eyes and hands go empty. Of course, this would continue even tomorrow and even the next day. He couldn’t even process how truly mangled her body looked in this unaware state of his surroundings and himself, induced by the shock and realization of everything being the same yet again. It felt as though he couldn’t breathe, yet again, trapped in a world that only existed to torture him.
When he did look up, he did see a familiar sight.
That goddamn, dumb, stupid, black cat! It was so smug, staring at him with the most knowing and mischievous eyes he’d ever seen a cat have in his life, as if it was mockingly waiting for him to run after them and pursue a chase of cat and mouse. It was always lingering and following him and Nene, even when they had ran away in this timeline. The cat just stalked like a predator looking for prey and took Nene away like she was the prey and it was so goddamn creepy!
He hated that damn thing already and he knew he would have to deal with that stupid cat for possibly eternity just to leave this loop alive with Nene.
But still, it was back here again and he was not having it! He was not about to black out from the cicadas in front of Nene’s body and he was not about to let the stupid, dumb cat get away with this!
With a promise to get back here as soon as possible, he took off running with the only thing he managed to grab: a knife. It was absolutely an evil thing to do but this cat wasn’t normal. It was magic and it was actively trying to kill him and his girlfriend, well best friend depending on what timeline he considered the two’s relationship on, so he couldn’t just stand it! But that stupid cat was sly and magical, of course it was. It just had to be to ruin his day.
No matter how fast the cat ran, he couldn’t catch up even when he ran as fast as humanly possible, dashing through the streets like a madman chasing a cat with a knife. Maybe he had actually lost it this time. He was surprised he hadn’t already at this point. Maybe he was beginning to lose it already.
He even tried to throw the knife multiple times at the cat and each time he seemed to miss, nearly taking himself out because it always reflected right back towards him rather than towards the cat. Maybe he was being punished for trying to kill the cat as well. It was frustrating.
He collapsed on his knees at the abandoned sidewalk on the ground, angry tears letting way for a gruesome and loudly pained scream on the ground. He had so much hope, so much opportunity and so did Nene, so much, they both had so much hope and yet they were both succumbing, no, Nene was succumbing to such a cruel fate each and every time.
Why!? What did she even do to deserve this.. what did he even do to deserve this? Well.. there was a long list of things that he had done that would make it worthy for him but not Nene.
Nene hadn’t done anything wrong.
It was the only thing in his mind that he was thinking of at the very moment of that second: everything he had done and everything Nene hadn’t done to suffer this cruel fate seemingly targeted at Nene herself.
So frustrating that this damn cat could smugly take his girlfriend Nene away and kill her for some reason, make him watch each time how disgustingly horrible she always died, make him feel this guilt.
It was torture.
More specifically, psychological torture.
That was the name for it. The cat was psychologically torturing him and Nene in various different ways. But— why? What did the two of them do to even deserve this kind of cruel treatment or fate? Maybe he was too selfish. He could certainly accept only himself being punished for eternity but certainly not Nene too! She didn’t even do anything that could’ve classified any form of rough or harsh treatment, she was innocent in this situation. He could accept himself being hurt but not Nene and that was final, although it was quite a sad and cruel reality.
The summer heat and daze surrounded him, this time, he swore he could hear it again, whispering reminders of how much he was a failure and how much he would never be able to save Nene and everything that he felt insecure about— the fear of abandonment, not wanting to be alone again, the fact that his parents had forgotten him before in his childhood.
All of the ugly and mean and selfish thoughts were there and trying to kill him. It was from a place in hell that tormented each and every second of him, even when he covered his ears once more, trying to block out the hot sounds of the summer forcefully.
He had to end this hell now. He just couldn’t bare to witness it for another time, another year, another forever possibly of insecurity and failed promises of saving. Right there, the most desperate and depressing act he’s ever tried, beyond the stupid method acting stuff that Rui used to always call him out before he fell into total despair, before falling nearly into complete and utter despair once, his own lifeless hands wrapped around his throat.
End it now, was what he thought.
Well, he could do that. He had to now. He choked and sputtered awkwardly and painfully but it hadn’t mattered, because in the end he managed to secure his hands around his throat as tight as possible and begin squeezing.
Squeezing, squeezing tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter away…
His face was turning blue and everything was getting fuzzy. Was this how he’d finally end the cycle for once and for all? By killing himself lifelessly right there? By not trying to breathe another word again in hopes Nene will be able to free herself from the cycle too?
Oh, those cicadas and the cat were there again. But it was okay, as long as he was going to die, everything might be alright. Besides, even the world was burdened by himself anyway. He was a failed and burned up star if he could even call himself that in his final moments. It sounded too sappy and depressing but he was a sappy actor, for all he knew.
Maybe, just maybe, everything would be alright when he closed his eyes.
Maybe the plundering heat daze and those annoying cicadas would finally go away, and so would he, never to wake up again.
But this feeling of warmth of death was so nice.
It was so, so, so nice…
Nothing changed.
Not even after trying to kill himself, had a single thing changed. He had woke up, yet again, haunted by the image of Nene’s body underneath the rubble and countless other images of possible death scenarios he didn’t want to think about anymore and so forth. He didn’t want to live anymore— in this world.
And that was so unbelievably stupid for somebody who was only on the fourth loop of this.
It was so stupid to even consider how much suffering he would do with killing himself again when Nene would suffer infinite times more, seemingly regardless of what he did.
He couldn’t give up now. No, he had to keep saving her, the “her” that he couldn’t even think of her name anymore at the moment.
He feared it might make it worse in that moment or even in the future; a dumb decision that he immediately forgot about in around five seconds and abandoned that promise to never speak Nene’s name again like he had abandoned her in each four death paths so far.
But alas, nothing is temporary in this universe. He knows that now about this universe— not like he’s stupid, he’s the Tsukasa Tenma after all.
Despite the despair he experienced and the focus on saving her, Tsukasa had observed a few things. Obviously, it repeated at the same time and the same date. The loop seemed to go on even if he brought her away from the primary location, the cat itself must’ve been magic, and there could only be one true way out of this.
No. That couldn’t possibly be it, right? He could figure out a way without having to go through actual hell and back just to try to save her yet again. He had to now.
Everyone was depending on him possibly, even the ones he didn’t realize might’ve been. Rui, Emu, Nene herself, probably that weirdo black cat that stalked the two of them, waiting and watching carefully.
He had to prove himself by saving her and he had to save her because he couldn’t possibly live if Nene died and he survived. It’d bring a terrible amount of guilt towards his heart. He had to prove himself: as the world’s greatest, most future star to grace the planet!
He had to prove he could protect everybody and take on every single challenge presented to him— because he is Tenma Tsukasa! The star that this world will have to see very soon and the star that the world has been waiting for his big debut!
Those words sounded hollow to him, even now. Of course, the cycle is going to repeat again and again. He’ll try countless times, every single method possible to try to save her, the only thing he had any sort of hope or resolve for at this point: saving Nene, his dear love, his dear friend, his dead anything.
Well, it was the only consistency he now had, so he must get used to how unpredictable each ending and each death, that in the end, always changes, will be the next.
But having Nene in his life still in some way, even though it brought him so much pain, even though it hurt them both somehow, in the end, was all he wanted.
He wanted to make sure he loved her even more for the limited time he had left each day, every single day when his resolve crumbled and he found no hope in the future.
He had to keep going, for her.
Well, he must try to save Kusanagi Nene. Again. And again. It would be his only purpose for such a friend he cares so deeply about, somebody who he couldn’t lose ever. He could never lose Nene, he’d do anything and everything for her. Even repeating this sick loop, even when knowing…
Even if he knows what will always happen.
He began to test on the ways he needed to save her and what might work best. If he had to navigate this cruel world alone and had to save her every single time from herself, his plan needed to be absolutely foolproof and something even a master escape artist like that cat couldn’t ruin.
First, he had the first method that he could think of which was probably the most dumb of all of them: simply cancel plans on Nene on August 15th and never show up to the park. Simply lie, lie to Nene to protect her safety about it all.
But he found that in every single timeline of that nature, she still died and he still somehow always managed to find her in some way, even when he physically locked himself in the darkest closet he could find and break his phone. He somehow always failed to save her in this timeline specifically even when he was right there and had the exact chance to divert the cat’s attention to nowhere near her.
She still always died at 12:30PM on August 15th.
And the cat was always there, along with those buzzing cicadas from the first ever timeline that followed him, even in the timelines he attempted other ways that required her to run inside or take any form of shelter inside. He tried it. Too many times to find out it didn’t work. It was practically just repeating the same encounter again to get results he expected.
Next, he tried to take her across the countryside. That just never worked. Something always prevented the two from getting away from that park, even temporarily or even permanently it seemed.
Nene was always crushed right through, ran over brutally, shot, something horrible every single time he attempted to free her in some way. No matter what way he tried in different timelines, nothing seemed to work. Yet again, nothing worked again and again. Again, again, again.
Then, he tried everything he possibly could’ve to save her. Every single option had always failed in the end, every single one that involved him attempting to save Nene.
She drowned, she was electrocuted, she was shot, she was beaten up by robbers, she was taken away and killed in front of his eyes, she was practically choked to unconscious and then her brain cells died, a dog attacked her, everything and anyone, even Robo-Nene herself, Rui (who seemed aware of this, almost, he wished he could've helped him, truly) and Emu in the later timelines. Everybody tried to kill Kusanagi Nene, the greatest canary and songstress of the decade. Even their own troupemates. Even Saki. Everybody who they both knew, even the strangers sometimes.
Again, again, again. He lost the hope he originally had that he’d be able to even save Nene. No, he hadn’t saved her among countless loops, among countless different methods and attempts and tries. He hadn’t saved her at all. In fact, he only pained her more with every time he tried to save her.
It was only pain, pain, more pain, every single time. He’d never become a future star, never reach his dreams, nor would Nene, nor would the two of them ever truly be together again.
In one timeline, he even confessed everything to Nene while breaking down and crying his eyes out in front of her. How much he hated this stupid cycle and how stupid this all was, how much he hated himself and how much he loved her despite the fact they were always going to be doomed, one of them, presumably Nene always, to die in the end. Every single time.
Then he had handed her the gun, practically pointing it at his temple, telling her to shoot him. He begged her that attempt, literally grasping the own trigger. He would’ve pulled it and killed himself again in front of her just to show her this was really real and that everything was not a dream as she playfully yet seriously joked with him then.
Had the gun not suddenly managed to fire the wrong direction and instead aim at Nene, he would’ve been the one to die. He deserved to now. He had always deserved to die beforehand but even now, he knew he deserved this fate. Not Nene, no. But himself. But he just couldn’t die! He couldn’t die. Magic cat, cicadas, same old cycle again.
Tens and thousands of times this cycle had repeated, again and again. Every single time, he watched it somehow get worse, the light in his eyes and any hope and prospect for the future left his side. Every single time he attempted to remind himself of his former dreams of becoming a star, his former memories, anything to distract himself, something would always ruin it.
Something would always go wrong and he would always watch death occur at his hands, never able to end Nene’s life painlessly or permanently. He figured, that at this point, she’d rather be dead then be in this loop herself. He didn’t even blame her. No, he couldn’t blame her. He fully understood everything now. Everything.
Just how useless was he?
He always tried and no matter what he always ended up alone again.
Never a happy ever after, never a perfect play, never anything.
Just that same cat, those same deaths, those same cicadas that he had grown numb to by this point, that same piercing scream he always managed to let out at the same exact thing that happened, especially the few times now where he allowed himself to feel some form of hope that one day, this cycle might change.
—ha, this was so useless. He knew this whole time what he had to do. He had always known. It wasn’t like he suddenly forgot what could’ve been the possible ending this whole time.
No, Tenma Tsukasa, the world’s future star, was a full on coward, like when Rui had said those very words in the past.
He’d never become a star. He was so cowardly that even those words resonated with him now, despite desperately forgiving the man decades and cycles later. He’d never change, that was apparent in the fact he clung onto the same cycle that he understood to be infinite and that he understood he couldn’t possibly save Nene at all.
If he’d tried this long and nothing had changed, he knew what he was doing was wrong. It was wrong in the sense that he knew how this story had to go. He knew what the answer to this was the whole time and he never tried that method. He was too scared and selfishly so, of course.
Maybe the call of new experiences tempted him. Maybe the feeling of the fact that he might survive this cycle with Nene fueled him, but now he knew. It was all useless. He knew what he had to do to save Nene and himself.
In the end, every single story and play has the same exact ending. The meaning to these days, beyond the disgusting summer heat he had grown to despise, must’ve been there, even now. He could see that now. Because even stories come to an end, even when they have hundreds of tales after.
Absolutely nothing in life was permanent and nor was this reality of looping every single time for Nene. Nothing was going to change if he simply tried the same exact methods, in the end, he always sacrificed himself for the greater good. That’s what stars do for their actors, for everybody else around them. They burn up once they're eventually put out of use.
He just hoped it was beyond those repeating summer days that he could find an answer to this reality. Because, there had to be. He believed in even that after all of this time.
He was ready. Now, he was ready. His answer has to be beyond those repeating summer days, the true escape to everything. There was a glimmer of hope right there, waiting for him.
He just hoped it wouldn’t hurt Nene as much.
It’s August 15th, again. But Tenma Tsukasa isn’t focused on exactly what time it is anymore. To him, every single day is August 15th regardless if it’s the night before when he wakes up in a panic again. He’s been training for this very moment, attempting everything he could possibly do just to break this cycle. Finally, it’d end soon.
It was now 12:26PM, August 15th, obviously repeating the exact same day again and he heard the very familiar footsteps of Nene!
Of course, he practically ran towards her to greet her on this very fine summer day in the park, but this time, something was very different.
Something that Tsukasa knew that Nene didn’t.
His voice was bolsterously loud, probably loud enough where even the shops on the next town over could hear him and they just pretended to not hear his idol aura. But he knew better by now.
“Gooooddddd morninggggggggggg Nene!” His arm instinctively wrapped around Nene’s shoudler without much care in the world, despite the massive fool he was now beginning to make of both himself and Nene. “How is my beautiful diva?” It wasn’t like he didn’t care for Nene but everything was an act, a repeat of the very first time.
She winced, her face turning as annoyed as her usual fiery temper among the two’s bantering and jokes. “Good morning to you too, Tsukasa. May you quiet down so they—“ she points at the couple behind them that already has their phone out, like a bad omen to be around them, “—don’t call the cops on us?” She finished her sentence, pulling away from Tsukasa gently. “..also, don’t call me a diva.” She blushed, turning her face away from Tsukasa.
“Of course!” He yells, seemingly even louder then beforehand and that reply towards the dearest diva of them all, Nene, earned him a muttered glare of shut up, Tsukasa, you dumbass… you’re making them stare even more…
He took Nene by the hand despite the initial blush and embarrassment from the physical contact and led her over to the swings in the park, happily (and loudly announcing they were going to swing together) jumping onto the swing first.
While Nene sat right besides him, he began violently swinging up and down like the sunshine was his personal motivator to be extra annoying to her. It was almost as if Nene got a part of him that was inside of him even more fired up whenever he saw her— surely he respected the quiet moments she often needed between the two. But she was always more comfortable even if she complained about how annoyingly loud Tenma Tsukasa was.
Of course, it was the same thoughts, the same exact dialogue and movements and everything, huh? Well, he was determined to end this cycle.
It was silent for a few moments. Tsukasa wanted to try to salvage the rest of their time together, the last four minutes they had together, thinking back to when they first met for a few moments longer.
But the silence was not for long, of course not! “So, did my favorite diva finally venture out of her room for once?” His smug voice filled the silence between them as whole, so whole that the park was beginning to stare at the both of them again. He really needed to learn what an inside voice was. Not like Nene didn’t lecture him about it constantly in every loop anyway. He could predict what she said next perfectly.
“Jeez, do you need to be so loud about it?” She paused for a moment in speaking to him and Tsukasa looked down, his face turning into recognition, immediately halting on the swings. “Nene, is that—“
“Yes, I see. It is a cat.” She replied.
Nene.. had the cat. On her lap. Again. That stupid cat he hated to even be seen near him or Nene was obviously here again, of course it was, it was the first cycle after all repeated. It was back.
Surely enough, it was 12:29PM, August 15th.
Again. It’d happen again soon.
This was oddly nice for the two of them, despite knowing what would soon happen anyways, despite knowing everything was a repeat of reality anyways, the two that usually seemed to always bicker and never found a way to stop arguing towards the other about something stupid.
On an oddly hot summer day on the swingset in the park, with the most comfortable silence that seemed to stretch between them, was something Tsukasa liked. It was peaceful. As peaceful as he could take anymore.
Surely, it was relaxing, almost pleasing. It made Tsukasa not say anything of a loud noise— only uttering a quiet hum from his lips and instead simply admired Nene from a short distance away, his lips pursued. So beautiful, even after all of this time he admired her the same.. the canary, as one of their roles had called, Bless… the princess… the one Nene played.. god it was beautiful how many roles she could play and how amazingly she did in each one.
“You know, I kinda hate summer, Tsukasa.” Nene remarks as the two of them are sitting on the swingset together, cat still in Nene’s lap casually. It was almost casual in the way it was said to Tsukasa, like Nene had only recently considered this fact being a possibility.
“I know.” He blurts it without even thinking, not bothering to explain the sudden change in the atmosphere between the two.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing.”
“Well, if you insist.”
All of the sudden, it was like a blur.
The cat, happily content on Nene’s lap while she pet it, had now suddenly gotten off of her lap, running away towards the flashing street lights in a panic. But it wasn’t Nene who was the one running after the cat in a panic this time.
Tsukasa pushed Nene right behind him, sneakers on, as he ran through the intersection. Right when the light turned red after being green for so long was when he finally ran into the road, after all of this time. It would finally end.
“Tsukasa! Wait up!” She desperately yelled, her voice louder than ever before, where she finally approached the street where the cat had now finally darted into the court road, barely managing to catch up to him. The light was green, yes, but that didn’t mean danger wasn’t going to be there in the streets. “The street lights— they’re green, but—“ Her breath ran ragged as she ran faster.
Her hand grabbed Tsukasa’s own hand.
“Tsukasa!”
Nene was so close to winning to the cycle again, but he managed to save her. He jumped into the road, right as he watched the light turn red again, reliving the same moment he just had again. Nene’s grip on his hand was now gone.
The cat was gone now.
Right when the light turned red.
Right when a truck came flying through the intersection.
Well, was this what it really felt like to die? He felt the truck slam into his numb body in the intersection, hearing Nene’s scream of horror as his eyes began to close. Of course she would scream when she saw his mangled body, the blood splashed all over.
But wow, this was kinda nice now compared to anything he feared death might be. His body was so mangled and broken, he might be in so much pain, the cicadas might be so terrifying now but it would all finally come to an end now.
Today could just be another ordinary summer day, another August 15th that could pass without another person— Nene, succumbing to his own death. He finally freed her once and for all.
As his eyes began to finally close, though he felt Nene’s hands desperately shaking him and her panicked screams of him to not die, he let out a wordless laugh and smile towards her face. She’d understand soon enough. Soon enough, it’d all go back to normal. He was so sorry for everything, so sorry for not ending this even sooner then when he realized possible millennia of cycles ago.
“I’m sorry,” is what he would’ve said. But he didn’t find the strength or the courage to say another word to her again, not just because he was dead.
He feared if he somehow managed to keep his eyes open even a tad bit longer, the look on her face would totally break him, just enough for him to stay even a little longer. But something and somebody, this extraordinary summer day has finally come to an end this time!
On August 14th, a little past midnight, Kusanagi Nene woke up again in a cold sweat in her bed, hands shaking and throat dry from worry. She clutched one of the plushies Tsukasa had given her, one of the last things she remembered of him this time. One of the last things she remembered before he plunged right in front of that runaway truck that ran right through him.
“I failed again.”