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Wow, Earth Really Skimped on Our Spaceship, Guys!

Summary:

The humans get to see the new and improved Blip-A, Rocky and Adrian finally get to watch their beloved Grace sleep once again, and the Eridians muse on their completely and totally appropriate and proportional reaction to the way Earth has treated their human.

Notes:

Heeeyyyyy, I know updates have like, super slowed! But I'm on vacation back to my home country for a couple weeks and the house is full since like, ALL my siblings are visiting, so I don't have a lot of privacy to write and I've also been surprisingly busy for it being a vacation lol.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Eridians, as a rule, tended to view humanity the same way humans viewed nuclear energy- it was awe-inspiring in its power, and it could do things and revolutionize society in amazing ways if properly directed, but it was also incredibly dangerous and notoriously unstable.  Their beloved Mercy from Sol, Grace from the Skies, Courageous Squishy Angel Savior Friend, Bringer of Hope and Knowledge, Guardian of Life and He Whose Exoskeleton is formed of Our Dreams was of course not included under that umbrella- he was Eridian, after all, but in general, Eridians were as wary of humanity as they were impressed by its accomplishments.  

Humans had done some amazing things- their arts and sciences were incredible- and they were also as biologically resilient as they were inefficiently designed.  For all that they were easily breakable, their capacity to heal and recover from damage was far, far, far beyond that of an Eridian’s.  And persistence hunting?  The stuff of literal nightmares (if Eridians were to have dreams at all, that is). 

But they were also so incredibly horrible to each other, and they treated minor differences as disgusting, frightening, inferior, or all three.  They started wars- wars- which Eridians could hardly fathom.  The last wars on Erid were between proto-Eridians who still hunted for subsistence and hadn’t yet evolved the ability to thrum.  Once they started forming actual societies, although they had their issues, they never got so bad as to kill each other over them.  Murder was so very, very rare on Erid, and it was only ever done when an Eridian had become ill or gone out of their mind for some environmental reason beyond their control.  They didn’t do it out of a desire to compete for resources or, 🎼forbid, out of some sick pleasure the way some humans did.  The few Eridians who ended the lives of other Eridians were to be treated with compassion and subjected to every reasonable effort to cure and rehabilitate them, because they did what they did because they were sick and it was out of their control.  

Not to mention, what the fuck was up with the way humans raised their pebbles, anyway? Sure, they’d learned about ‘unplanned pregnancies’ from the portable Earth-Think machine, so they could conceptualize that not all human pebbles were wanted even though Eridians couldn’t exactly ‘accidentally’ have a clutch of eggs.  All Eridian births were planned and very, very wanted.  If something happened to the parents, social workers almost always had an incredibly easy time finding other family or community members to take them in.  Even in cases of devastating natural disasters that had wiped out entire communities in the old days before meteorology evolved enough to predict them and prevent loss of life- when pebbles were often the only ones to survive because of just how hard the community as a whole tried to protect them, whether the pebbles were their biological offspring or not- it was still fairly easy to find other communities to incorporate them into.  

Social workers were mainly there to support the new family in supporting the pebbles through their trauma, making sure all involved had all necessary resources, and, if the pebbles were adopted inter-culturally, helping them to integrate without losing those emotionally vital connections to their original homelands, as well as helping the adoptive families to learn about and support the culture of their new pebbles.  

But humans just… abused their pebbles sometimes!  For no reason at all!  Their own  Mercy from Sol, Grace from the Skies, Courageous Squishy Angel Savior Friend, Bringer of Hope and Knowledge, Guardian of Life and He Whose Exoskeleton is formed of Our Dreams had been abused by his male parent, and then sent into a system of ‘child welfare’ that did not, in fact, seem to be very good at looking after the welfare of its pebbles, and often even actively made their circumstances worse!  

Autonomy of the citizens under a government’s care was also not nearly as valued among human leadership as it ought to be. For all that Eridian societies were communal, they also valued an individual’s right to make their own choices.  They understood, in theory, the idea of the Hail Mary mission and putting the good of the many above the lives of a few, but they simply couldn’t fathom doing that themselves, especially for a long shot.  And to shoot their Mercy from Sol, Grace from the Skies, Courageous Squishy Angel Savior Friend, Bringer of Hope and Knowledge, Guardian of Life and He Whose Exoskeleton is formed of Our Dreams into space, against his will, for a longshot?  

That was already terrible beyond words in any language either human or Eridian, but for the evil, evil, evil dictator human to make their Mercy from Sol, Grace from the Skies, Courageous Squishy Angel Savior Friend, Bringer of Hope and Knowledge, Guardian of Life and He Whose Exoskeleton is formed of Our Dreams think that he was a coward?  Because he said ‘no’ after only λ human hours to decide whether to die for a plan that had a I in a λλVλλλ++ chance of working?  To treat their beloved squishy savior’s sense of self-preservation as a bad thing when Erid, collectively, would prefer if he had a bit more of that very thing?  Well, safe to say All Rocky Plural held A Big Grudge.  They were so glad that their human Eridian was once again wrapped safely in their claws.  

Unfortunately, he did not seem to be in agreement about their Perfectly Reasonable Big Grudge.  

It was bad enough before, when he’d talk of her with occasional fondness or make the odd noise about how ‘it was me or the planet, guys, she did what she had to do.’  But now, somehow he’d gone back to Earth with full knowledge of what she’d done the first time- and what she’d have been willing to do again- and he somehow got even closer to the dreadful murderess!  

“You’ve even given her a nickname?” Adrian was grumbling to their Beloved, Third of their Soul, as he told yet another Earth story where “Eavie” featured prominently.

“Aww, come on Addi, don’t be like that,” Grace teased gently.  “I really think you’d like her if you gave her a chance.”  

“How Beloved so smart about science but so dumb to trust evil murder human, question?” Rocky demanded, stomping his front foot.  “Grace beloved is too good for humanity, not safe for Grace to trust so easily.  Is very lucky that Grace back home with Erid-inclusive pronoun, so other Eridians can keep safe.” 

“We were doing our very best to keep Gracie safe, Rocky, we promise,” Ilyukhina swore, voice unusually solemn.  Rocky turned his carapace towards her and Yao could swear he was giving her a judgmental look despite lacking a face.  It was actually quite impressive.  

Grace was watching all this go down with a look of pure contented fondness until a yawn broke the serenity on his face.

“How long since last sleep, question?” Rocky asked, or rather, demanded.  

“Dunno,” Grace shrugged.

Rocky pouted.  He couldn’t even ask Mary, since they were still in the tunnel.

“Grace take warm bath and then sleep on Home Ship,” Rocky ordered.  “Other humans can come too, if Grace wants.

“There’s a bathtub on your ship?” Ilyukhina asked, gobsmacked.  “We don’t even have a shower!  We’ve been taking sponge baths!”

“Yes, already established that Earth take poor care of Grace despite Grace saving #🎵## 🎶ungrateful planet’s 🎼🎶#,” the translator voice for Rocky declared hotly.  Grace gave the alien a stern look, and Olesya sighed.

“He never did let me add any swear words to the translator.  But now you’re here, Rocky, so perhaps we could collaborate on that?”

Rocky trilled happily.  “Ohhh, Rocky like this one!”
Grace blanched and looked at Yao.  “Oh no,” he groaned.  “What have I done?”

“I am second-in-command and thus it is not my job to be concerned.  Do you think the reality-breaking aliens would let me take a bath when you’re done with it?”

“If Grace beloved says it okay,” Adrian replied to the man.  Grace gave him a thumbs down and a smile that was punctuated with another yawn.

_________

“Holy shit, the Eridians built you a palace,” Ilyukhina gaped as they made their way into the human-atmosphere section of the Blip-A.  “Is that a movie theater?  And they can’t even see?” 

“Light-sense organs very unnecessary to replicate and improve upon human video technology,” Rocky dismissed easily, scuttling along in his suit along with the Adrian and the rest of the Eridian crew, who were all scrambling to be as close to Grace as possible, although it was of course Rocky and Adrian who were awarded the privilege of being pressed up against either side of him.  “Also, Mary database successfully downloaded onto Blip-A, all human technology, media, and information now in Home Ship, statement!”

“Are they… following him into the bath?” Ilyukhina asked, raising an eyebrow at Yao as Adrian and Rocky followed behind Grace as he shut the door to the truly enormous luxury bathroom.  It had a marble-inlaid Jacuzzi tub, for fuck’s sake!

“No, Rocky Adrian not bathe with Mercy from Sol, Grace from the Skies, Courageous Squishy Angel Savior Friend, Bringer of Hope and Knowledge, Guardian of Life and He Whose Exoskeleton is formed of Our Dreams, all other Eridians-exclusive-pronoun lack buoyancy.  There for safety and company.  Water very scary for Eridians, statement.  Mercy from Sol, Grace from the Skies, Courageous Squishy Angel Savior Friend, Bringer of Hope and Knowledge, Guardian of Life and He Whose Exoskeleton is formed of Our Dreams is very understanding.  Besides, even if Mercy from Sol, Grace from the Skies, Courageous Squishy Angel Savior Friend, Bringer of Hope and Knowledge, Guardian of Life and He Whose Exoskeleton is formed of Our Dreams not have same romantic relationship like  Respected Architect, Human Scientist, They Who Waited Like Penelope, Defenestrator of Presumptuous Suitors, Family of Grace Adrian and Savior of Erid, Hope from Tau Ceti, He who Endured, Bringer of Erid’s Beloved Grace Friend Rocky, but he still part of family cluster, statement.  Mate privileges and norms same, like communal nest and shared ablutions,” Dr. House explained to the other two humans helpfully.

That… that sounded a lot like a qpr but with aliens.  Oh fuck, that sounded a lot like whatever Grace and Stratt had going on, thought Ilyukhina with no small trepidation.  Oh fuck, were the two Eridians sharing a polycule with the woman that it sounded like they would happily eviscerate on sight?  Awkward.  

Yao was having similar thoughts, and he shared a look with Ilyukhina, looking rather nervous.  Ilyukhina raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

Eh, they’re 16 light years away from each other.  It’s not like it’s going to be a realistic concern for us, she tried to convey with her expression.

Yao did not look appeased, but he did seem much more chill when, after Grace emerged with his alien family from the bathroom, he got to take a nice long soak.  The Eridians even had some synthesized disks for his eyes that felt remarkably like cucumber slices.

_______

Yao and Ilyukhina were sitting on an enormous pile of plushies on the floor of Grace’s palatial bedroom.  They were honestly more comfortable than their beds on the Hail Mary, but couldn’t hold a candle to the enormous bed where Grace was currently sleeping with Rocky perched on his chest.  He proudly explained to the two humans that he’d spent years perfecting the exact amount of pressure to make Grace feel as warm and safe as possible.  It sounded like there was actual math involved.  

Whatever Rocky had done, it clearly worked.  Ilyukhina had never seen Grace sleep so comfortably and deeply, and she’d snuck into his bunk to snuggle on more than one occasion (unless Stratt and Carl were hogging the space on the other side of Grace’s small bunk, those selfish Ублюдки).  His deep and restful-looking sleep probably had more to do with the Eridian on his chest, and the other, larger one curled against his side, than it did with the bed that Ilyukhina, after pressing a hand against, was sure was a scientific impossibility for just how soft and cozy it was.

“Dammit, I wanna get adopted by aliens who spoil me like this,” she muttered under her breath in Russian.

“You serious, question?” Adrian asked with Meryl Streep’s voice, while another voicebox hummed thoughtfully.  Olesya blinked, trying to digest the fact that the aliens apparently spoke Russian as well, even if Grace had only started learning once he’d been sent back in time.  “Grace Beloved likes you very much.  Adrian believes you add significantly to his emotional enrichment.  You would be welcome on Erid, statement.”
“Aww, I wish,” Olesya replied back.  “But I really want to see my family back in Russia again.”

“Is not problem.  Faster-than-light video chat software almost ready.  You could speak with them any time.”

“I’m sorry, you invented interstellar video chat?” Yao asked, shooting rapidly into a seating position from the pile of plushies where he’d also been falling asleep only a moment before.

“Obviously, statement,” Rocky’s translator-voice declared, although the frequencies under it were softer and deeper than his usual voice (to be more comfortable for Grace, Ilyukhina guessed.  She was still only a beginner in Eridian, but what little she did know- combined with the extensive knowledge she had about the little Eridian’s love for Grace- made her feel pretty confident in her hypothesis).  “How else yell at Earth for being idiots and not treating Grace with proper respect and honors, question?”

“Dr. House,” Yao asked in a strangled voice, turning to the medic.  “Do you know how to treat stress ulcers?”

Notes:

Hope this is up to snuff! I wrote it in a couple sittings and I feel like it's not the best work I've ever done, so please feel free to tell me in the comments if you disagree with that assessment lol.