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As Subaru felt the warm breeze against his skin, the sun started to set beyond the horizon with a harsh glare, painting the sky with a mix of red and orange. The sky doesn't seem any different from his world, so he often took comfort from gazing at it even at night, where the stars unfortunately don't mirror any constellations back home. Maybe he should pick up a book about this world’s astrology once things settle down.
“Subaru!” The moment that infuriating voice called out to him, the said man had to hold the urge to grumble out loud.
It was Julius with his stupid pretty face, wearing that stupid smile Subaru wanted to wipe off his face for good. The purple prick climbed the hill as a hand rested on the hilt of his sword and the other waved at his direction. The black-haired’s gaze met the knight’s eyes and held a finger in front of his lips.
“Shhh— Not so loud, Beatrice is sleeping.” True to his word, Julius found Beatrice sleeping peacefully on Subaru’s lap. The artificial spirit exerted too much mana after a big fight and had to recharge without much choice.
“Oh, I apologize.” Julius muttered softly. With that being said, Subaru had hoped that the knight would leave them alone and just put aside the matters for tomorrow. Everyone's exhausted after a big fight, and even he found Julius' lack of signs of weariness amazing. But it seems things didn't go his way (like always).
“So? Is something so urgent that you have to report it now?” Subaru curtly asked as Julius seated himself besides him under the tree, earning a glare from the former.
“Report? No, there's no such thing. I just want to keep you company this evening.” Julius confessed as he offered a smile, watching Subaru's expression change into dismay which in turn elicited a soft laugh from the knight.
“Ha! Like I need your company when my cute, sweet Beatrice is already doing so.” The black-haired lightly caressed the child’s head with a fond look in his eyes. It then quickly turned sharp when his gaze landed on Julius once again, making a dismissive gesture with his free hand. “So shoo, shoo. I’m sure your effort is much more appreciated somewhere else. What of Anastasia?”
The knight let out a chuckle, not making any move to leave. “My lady was terribly exhausted and had to turn in early. And everyone else prompted me to take a rest while they take care of tying up loose ends.”
Subaru frowned, Julius indeed had a major contribution during the fight and deserves to take his hard earned rest. The black-haired didn't say anything else as he turned his attention back to the sky, suddenly feeling melancholic. Julius soon did the same, idly watching the clouds pass by in this rare opportunity of a breather. It was quiet, the soft rustle of leaves and blow of wind could only be heard.
“I don't know why you just had to come here though.” Subaru jabbed after a while, realizing he could've spent his time with Emilia here instead.
The knight smiled helplessly, letting out an amused huff, “Don't be like that, Subaru. It's rude to turn someone away after they make an effort to look for you.”
Subaru let out a sound of realization, “Right. It seems like you were about to say something earlier… Well?” When he earned a nod from the other to confirm his suspicion, he continued, “Out with it then.”
Julius looked thoughtful for a second, as if picking the right words to say before he cleared his throat, turning his attention back to Subaru. “Natsuki Subaru, I… Thank you. For everything you’ve done up until now.”
The said man looked back at the knight with his eyes wide as saucers, jaw dropped as he struggled to form words from the sheer absurdness of the situation. “I— Wha… Huh????”
“I can't comprehend the reason as to why you found this all confusing.” Julius frowned, raising a brow. “I've merely expressed my gratitude. Things wouldn't be the same if it weren't for you.”
Subaru raised a palm, stopping Julius from speaking anything further, “Wait, wait, wait— You don't know how ridiculous you sound! You, thanking me?” He scoffed whilst shaking his head. “I must be dreaming... And.. I didn't do much anyway.”
The knight straightened his posture, leaning closer to the black-haired, “Don't sell yourself short, Subaru. You've done plenty of things that deserve more than recognition.” He sternly said as if offended. “If you'll allow me, I'd gladly list all of—”
“Okay, okay! I get it! You don't need to go that far.” Subaru huffed, noticeably flustered as he looked away from the knight. He took a moment to calm his frantically beating heart and sucked in a deep breath. “T-Thanks, I guess…” He then muttered.
“I’m afraid I didn't catch that.” Julius flatly voiced.
This jerk… Subaru forced a smile as he grits his teeth, strings of curses already forming on the tip of his tongue, “Listen here you asshole—”
Just when he sharply turned his head back, he found Julius’ face alarmingly close to him to the point their lips almost touched. He let out a yelp as his hand instinctively slapped right on the other’s face, forcing out an “Ack!” from his lips.
“Wh-Wh-What the hell was that you perverted knight!” He stammered, his face turning redder.
Julius groaned as he rubbed his throbbing face, “I don't know what you mean, Subaru. You're the one who's suddenly whirling his head.”
“That's it! I’m telling on you to Anastasia! She needs to discipline you more regarding respecting other’s personal space.” Subaru grumbled as he gathered the still sleeping Beatrice in his arms and prepared to leave.
Slightly alarmed, Julius soon collected himself and hurried after the two. He then promptly summons Ia to light up their path when he realizes it's already getting dark.
“You're being childish right now, Subaru.” He commented as he stared at the back of the said man’s head. “It was just an accident. Nothing even happened.”
When the other said nothing, Julius reached out to the his arm in an attempt to stop him in his track, “Subaru—”
“Quit that!” Subaru cried out, jerking his arm away from the knight’s hold. The two stopped dead in their place and awkward silence soon fell between them. The knight looked at the man, confused and hurt. He doesn't understand Subaru's tendency to have sudden mood shifts when he seems to be doing fine just a second ago. And this isn't the first time either.
“If you don't understand why I'm being like this…” Subaru started, sounding solemn, “Then you simply lack the consideration of other's feelings.”
And with that, he continued on the path ahead towards the Roswaal Manor, leaving a stunned Julius alone with his quasi spirit.
“Natsuki Subaru you idiot idiot idiot!” He muttered under his breath, clutching his head in desperation to forget what just transpired between him and Julius. How could he just act like a self-centered jerk? Why is he even bothered in the first place? He frowned as he stared down at his feet trying to ease the butterflies in his stomach.
“I like Emilia-tan.” He suddenly blurted out, as if consoling himself from the fact he doesn't want to acknowledge.
A sigh was dragged out of his lips. With exhaustion finally catching up to him, he turned to his bed and lay down, covering himself under the blanket and scooted closer to the artificial spirit he promptly laid down earlier. He stared at the child for a while and smiled fondly, feeling his worries being washed away before closing his eyes shut.
“Goodnight, Beako.”
Subaru fell asleep easily that night. Like every other day, he'd dream of his past. He found himself back in his bedroom, dark and cramped. The smell of a room that hadn't been aired out for a long time assaulted his nose, giving him an odd sense of familiarity and comfort. No matter how much he has experienced this, he couldn't stop those feelings from bubbling up in his chest.
Another lucid dream… He thought to himself as he looked around his room. For some reason, he doesn't feel like getting up so he just shut his eyes and waits for the real him to wake up. But it seems things didn't go his way once again (like always).
He heard his door open and close as someone entered the room, footsteps light but they didn't say anything. His desk chair soon creaked under the person’s weight and the sound of flipping paper filled the empty room. Much to Subaru’s dismay, he couldn't fall back asleep when he's conscious about someone else's presence in the room.
With a groan, he peeled one eye open to confirm the person’s identity as he groggily spoke, “Dad, if you're going to read my manga do it outsi…”
“Ah, sorry. Did I wake you up?”
Subaru felt his heart jump up his throat as he spotted a familiar purple hair belonging to no other than that person.
“Wh-Why are you here?!” He questioned, jutting an accusatory finger towards the man. Why is he here in his dream? This doesn't make any sense!
Julius placed down the manga he was reading as he turned to face Subaru, “What do you mean? I don't know why you look so surprised.”
The black-haired fell silent at that, bewildered by the knight’s presence. He then reminded himself this is nothing but a dream, forcing himself to calm down and scrutinize the man. He… isn't in his knight uniform. Instead he wore a black shirt under a white polo and navy blue trousers. And, as much as he hates to admit it, those glasses with black frames really suit him.
“Earth to Subaru?” Julius prompted when he noticed the man’s prolonged silence. He then chuckled, looking slightly bashful as he scratched his cheek, “I don't hate it, but when you stare at me like that for so long….”
“Ah, sorry..” Subaru muttered after a while, awkwardly rubbing his nape, then suddenly feeling conscious about his own appearance. “You look… sharp. What's the occasion?” He randomly asked.
Julius looked surprised at the question but he quickly shook his head, his expression turning soft. “Did you really forget? If you need a reminder, today's our date.”
That, yet again, stunned Subaru for a good minute. His lips opened and closed like a dumb fish not sure how to take in that sudden information.
“W-WHAAAAAAAAA—”
“—AAAAAAAATTTTTT??!!”
“W-What is it, Subaru?! You scared Betty, I suppose!”
Subaru found himself panting heavily as he sat up on his bed, his gaze immediately landing on a worried Beatrice, holding his hand. “Ah... Sorry Beako, did I wake you up? How are you feeling?” He choked out, offering a reassuring smile as he calmed himself down. It was just a dream. A dream.
“Betty already came to eight Earth Time earlier, completely revitalized, I suppose. It's ten Earth Time right now, in fact.” Beatrice informed. “Did you have a dream?”
The black-haired nodded, sighing. “I don't think I can sleep back in after that…” He muttered to himself as he made a move to get out of bed. “Will you accompany me for a morning walk, Beako?” He asked, hoping to distract himself.
“Hmph. Betty would follow you even to the end of Lugunica.” She declared as if she found Subaru's need to ask the question ridiculous.
After a quick breakfast courtesy of the two oni sisters, Subaru and Beatrice made their way to the garden. Floral scents of different flowers wafted into the refreshing air, prompting the man to take a deep breath.
“Come on, Beako! It's time to do radio calisthenics!” He encouraged the artificial spirit before the two went through the daily routine they've become accustomed to.
“Victory!” They both exclaimed, raising their arms up in the air as they reached the end of the exercise.
Subaru then picked Beatrice up in the air, twirling both of them around. “Good job, Beako! You're getting better and better at this!” He laughed cheerfully whilst the artificial spirit complained to be put down. With the dream forgotten, he wonders what he has to do later in the day. He's already getting an idea until—
“You certainly have too much energy, don't you?”
The black-haired flinched at the voice, almost dropping Beatrice on the ground. He set the artificial spirit down and held her hand, quickly composing himself.
“Yo, Julius! What got you up so early?” He prompted, twirling dramatically to face the man. What he didn't expect, though, is to find the knight in a slightly disheveled state. With dark circles marring his pretty face, he couldn't help but worry. “What happened to you? You look like… shit.”
An amused huffed escaped the knight’s lips as he walked closer to the two, giving Subaru a closer look on his condition. “I wouldn't deny that. I just… had to do a lot of rethinking.”
“Whatever is it, you should put it aside for later. You need to sleep! Do you want Anastasia to worry?” The black-haired scolded without thinking.
“I don't intend to worry anyone.” Julius defended.
“Well clearly you just failed at it.”
“Are you worried?”
“No! Well, yes— just a little! But that's not the point here!” Subaru grumbled.
The knight smiled softly at that, “I see. Now I understand what you mean by it.”
“Huh?” Subaru interjected before he could feel a sudden weight leaning against him. Within seconds, the ghost of a breath against his ear made him shiver as he tried not to stumble back from the added weight. “Julius? Hey Julius!”
This bastard fell asleep on me… He concluded as he heard the other snore.
Without much choice, he carried the knight back to the manor, muttering strings of complaints. It didn't take long for someone else to spot them, making his throat tighten. Why Anastasia of all people…
“Julius! What happened?” The merchant gasped, running towards them. He never saw her so worried and he couldn't help but feel at fault.
Subaru awkwardly shifted on his feet, “Don't worry, Anastasia. He's just sleeping. He mentioned rethinking about something…”
Wait. Was it because of what he said last night? It can't be, right? He didn't even mean to say it in the first place. This bastard actually…
Guilt washed over the black-haired, shutting his mouth with a click. Anastasia and Beatrice looked at him with both curiosity and worry but didn't ask about the sudden shift in his demeanor.
“If that's the case, then I have nothin’ to worry about.” Anastasia stated, sighing to herself. “My knight always pushes himself that it gets to my nerves, ya know? But he bounces right back up so ya can rest assured.”
With a light pat on his shoulder, the merchant gave him a reassuring smile. “So don't look so worried and bring him back to his room for me, ‘kay?”
Did he really look that worried?
With a nod, Subaru continued on, keeping Anastasia’s words in mind. It didn't take long for him to find Julius' room and settle him down on the bed. With unexpected deliberation, he got rid of the knight’s garments and placed it on the nearby cabinet.
“He'll be alright,” Beatrice echoed Anastasia's words, grabbing his hand when he stared at Julius longer than he intended to. “Betty doesn't know what happened between you two but I can cast a rejuvenating spell on him, I suppose. If that helps Subaru ease his worries.”
Subaru squeezed the child’s hand, “Please, Beatrice.”
The artificial spirit nodded, raising a hand as she casted a spell, a soft blue glow surrounded Julius' form. With the lack of physical indication whether something changed or not, Subaru just simply decided to trust the child. He lowered himself to her level, patting the child fondly.
“Thank you, Beako. I feel much better. I guess I have to make it up to you, huh?” He said, still sounding rueful.
Beatrice merely crossed her arms, looking away. “Hmph, Betty simply doesn't like seeing Subaru so down, I suppose. Don't mind it, in fact.”
Subaru chuckled at that and picked up the child. With one last glance at the knight’s sleeping form, he quietly left the room and thought of things to occupy himself with for the rest of the day.
A drink party was the farthest thing from Subaru's list of thoughts. With Anastasia's camp departure for Kararagi tomorrow, Roswaal himself proposed a drink party to have a toast to their newly attained accomplishment. And, truth to be told, the majority find the offer irresistible. Even Subaru himself.
“Emilia-tan, I think you've had enough…” The black-haired commented when the half-elf downed her sixth shot of granhiert brandy, the girl stumbling about on her feet.
“Huuhhh? You're wrong, Subaruuu~ I can handle more..” Emilia slurred, finding herself slumped against Subaru’s chest, making the latter even more flustered that is certainly not the alcohol’s fault.
“Jeez, you're so stubborn, Emilia-tan…” He muttered under his breath before bringing her to the nearby couch, in which she passed out a second after.
“So Emilia is a lightweight, huh?” Anastasia noted as she approached the couch, letting out an amused laugh.
Subaru nodded in agreement as he fixed the half-elf’s posture, “It seems so. What about you, Anastasia?”
“Oh it's quite embarrassin’ to tell, but I've already finished almost three bottles of alcohol. And honestly… it's still not enough.” She confessed, eliciting a bewildered look on Subaru.
The black-haired crossed his arms, watching the girl take a seat beside Emilia, “That's impressive…”
The merchant raised a hand over her lips as she giggled, “I'll look over her, so why don't ya have yer fill, Natsuki? The night is still young.”
Subaru looked hesitant at first before he eventually nodded, feeling the need to consume more alcohol. With a brief “Thank you,” he made his way back to the collection of different brands of alcohol, opting for the oni sake. He poured himself a shot and sipped it slowly. That is when he spotted a figure outside the balcony, seemingly deep in thought.
He stared at Julius, he’s been trying to forget about his presence the whole time but even he knows that he can't keep up with the act forever. With a newfound determination and lingering hesitation, he bought a pair of shot glass and bottle of oni sake, making his way to the knight out in the balcony.
With a set of footsteps behind him, Julius was prompted to turn his head around. “Oh, it's you…”
Subaru huffed, “What, disappointed?”
“Certainly not.” He said quickly, drawing out a smirk from Subaru. “What are you doing out here?”
“I could say the same to you.” The black-haired retorted, offering one of the cup to the knight.
The knight mulled it over, watching the alcohol being poured in his cup. “Just thinking.”
The black-haired paused momentarily before he eventually filled his own cup. He set the bottle down on the railing, watching the liquid swirl about in the cup. “Is it about what I said last Darksun?”
Julius shortly nodded, raising his cup to his lips to take a sip, the alcohol in his system a welcome change. He then bit his lower lip, gathering the courage to continue, “Subaru, I—”
“About that,” Subaru cuts the knight off, looking anywhere but him. “Can you just… forget about it?”
“What?” Julius sounded so startled that Subaru felt his heart constrict. They're supposed to be having fun tonight yet the man couldn't just bite his tongue. “I’m afraid I don't understand.”
“It's exactly what it sounds like, you prick.” Subaru hissed, clutching his cup. “I don't know what I was thinking when I said those words back then— I, I was just being complicated.”
That's right… Because of him, Julius lost his sleep thinking about what he said. He was already spent as is and had no time to waste on such trivial things. But even if he did, is Subaru really worth the effort?
Subaru expected the knight to get angry, to tell him that he's not making any sense. He could only imagine the look on the knight's face, disappointed and disgusted by his perplexing choice of actions when he’s nothing but a shallow, egoistic, disgusting excuse of a person. He doesn't deserve to be understood, there's nothing worth understanding about him.
“Natsuki Subaru, look at me.” The knight coaxed, voice stern. With a shaky breath, the said man put down his cup on the railing and wasted no time in meeting the other’s gaze. He just wants this to be over.
There was no disappointment nor disgust as Subaru feared. Julius' expression was instead a mix of sternness and faithfulness, his eyes shone brightly like citrine under the moonlight. His gloved hand pressed against his chest as if anchoring himself from his bubbling emotions.
“Now I ask you to tell me what you've just said, without looking away from me in the eye.” He demanded.
Subaru froze, lost for words, “I.. What? I don't get why would I—”
“If it were that easy for you to brush this away, then you wouldn't hesitate in the slightest!” Julius pointed out, his voice filled with emotions. “But you can't, right? Because deep down, you wanted someone to understand you. You wanted me to understand you.”
“No! You’re wrong!” The black-haired cried out, covering his ears in desperation. It's too loud. Too true. He slowly took a step back in an attempt to get away.
“Subaru, I hate how you're always putting yourself down. I hate how you always put others first. Do you think you're being too selfish by asking for so little?” Julius effortlessly closed the distance between them, grabbing both of Subaru's wrists. “Please, don't run away. Not when I can almost see you.”
The sound of soft sobs filled the night air as countless tears escaped Subaru's closed eyes. All the laughter and festive noise muffled behind the closed doors momentarily forgotten as Subaru drowned in the countless emotions he tried to hold back only to get tempted by the solace oxygen brings. Soon, warmth enclosed around him as Julius pulled him into an embrace. He cried ugly, but he was free. He felt so shameful, so vulnerable and so seen, but he was undoubtedly free.
“I’m sorry,” Subaru choked out between sobs, “I’m sorry…”
“You have nothing to apologize for.” The knight comforted, rubbing soothing circles on his back. “It is me who should apologize to you. For not being able to understand you clearly, for being inconsiderate of your feelings...”
The other shook his head as he cried, cried his lungs and stopped crying. “It's alright…” He managed to croak out after a while, "As long as you don't bother me anymore, you purple prick.”
“Of course...” Julius only commented in a slightly amused tone.
“Seriously though…” Subaru cleared his throat in an attempt to compose himself. “Thanks.”
Julius smiled at him, simply shaking his head. He promptly retrieved their drink and held one of the cups towards him. “Care to share a toast with me?”
The black-haired raised a brow at the sudden offer, but nevertheless reached out and asked, “What are we toasting to?”
Julius' gaze softened as he raised his cup.
“To you, Natsuki Subaru.”
“You startled me, Subaru. What gives? Are you really that shocked to learn about our especially planned date?” Julius asked, looking slightly dejected.
“I'm sorry…” Subaru murmured, still a bit lost about the situation. “Why don't you kick yourself out so I can start getting ready?”
Despite the harsh wording, Julius practically beamed at Subaru’s announcement on getting ready. With a brief goodbye, he left the room. After a beat, he could hear the man conversing with his mom as if that's the most casual thing to do.
So I'm back to my dream last night, huh… That didn't occur before. Subaru thought to himself as he forced himself to get out of the bed and dress up for the occasion.
He opened his closet, naturally reaching out for his tracksuit but quickly stopped. With slight deliberation, he opted for a white dress shirt instead, thinking it'll pair up nicely with his dark blue cardigan that he never got to wear, and black cargo pants for the bottom. He approached the mirror then, giving his appearance a once-over before letting out a slight wince. Why am I even bothered about it now?
Calming his beating heart, he left his room and into the kitchen. His gaze caught Julius' first, the latter looking surprised at his undoubtedly new appearance. “W-What?” He muttered bashfully, rubbing his neck.
“Nothing, it's just… It suits you, Subaru.” The purple-haired complimented with an encouraging smile.
“Right! You finally wore that cardigan I gave you on your birthday last year!” Naoko exclaimed as she gave her son a hug.
“Okay, mom, I get it…” Subaru became self-conscious, awkwardly patting her back. “Julius and I will be out.”
Naoko hummed happily, “Yeah. You two have fun, alright?” She then turned to Julius, taking his hand in hers, “Please take care of Subaru.”
Julius nodded, “Of course, Auntie. I'll make sure of his safety.”
Auntie? Just how close are we to call her that… Subaru wondered, growing even more flustered by the second as he made his way to the door, putting on his shoes. “Come on, Julius! I'm going to leave you behind!”
“Ah, coming!” Julius shouted back, turning back to Naoko one last time to say his goodbye.
The cherry blossom is in full bloom, just like in his any other dream. Pink petals fluttered about in the air that soon littered the concrete below. He continued walking as Julius catched up to him, masking his breathlessness with a smile.
“That was mean of you, Subaru. Leaving me behind…”
“Hmph, you were taking too long so I just decided to ditch you.”
The purple-haired just chuckled at that, “This is the first time I've seen you raring to go since we started dating. You were usually hung up about it.”
“Me? Hung up about it…?” The black-haired raised a brow at that, isn't dating supposed to be fun for both parties? He can't imagine himself being hung up about it… Well, dating someone infuriating like Julius is a pretty good reason to cause anyone distress. Hm, hm, hm..
He then paused in his track, coming to a realization. He looked at Julius straight into the eye, furrowing his brows. “...We're not really dating, are we?”
That prompted the other to stay still, but no surprise can be seen on his face. He just smiled flatly, sighing softly as he slipped his hand in his trouser's pocket.
“I was wondering why you got surprised by it now, when I've been teasing you about it for a while.” Julius shrugged, his gaze turning sharp. “Are you actually just half asleep, or…”
Subaru flinched, he didn't expect that the Julius in his dream is a sharp one. But learning about the truth upsets him more, turning his mood sour.
The purple-haired continued to observe him, his smile turning playful after a moment. “Just kidding. It seems like you're a little lost, so let's take a step back, shall we?” He suggested, continuing onward down the road.
This is just a dream, Subaru. He reminded himself, forcing himself to follow after the man.
“We've met over two years ago,” Julius started, sounding wistful as he slowly recounted the event.
It was just the beginning of a new school year. Just like anyone else, the first-years took their first step in a new environment filled with nervousness and anticipation after graduating from junior high. However, Natsuki Subaru was an exception. With an unmatched energy as his, he buzzed around the place as if trying to make a good first impression on everyone. As if trying to make a name for himself. With Julius a member of the school committee, and as a third-year, that boy quickly piqued his interest.
But the boy’s exuberant personality backlashed on him, unable to make any friends. With his high school debut a failure, he slowly struggled to go to school and thus completely isolated himself in his room. It didn't take long before Julius caught wind of it, and somehow, he couldn't help but worry about him. He trusts that Natsuki Subaru has a bright future ahead of him, and he simply can't let the boy fall from here.
And so, he bided his time and took his chances to know more about the boy. It wasn't easy, and over the past two years, he has only made a small crack on the boy's shell. With his studies in university, he could only have little time to spend with the boy, and he was afraid that it’ll give him enough time to mend the cracks he hatched.
“But instead, it seems you managed to break free from your shell yourself. You stand there as if you've completely reborn as a person. As Natsuki Subaru. Tell me, what are you feeling right now?” Julius concluded, directing a question towards Subaru.
The latter didn't expect such a long history between them when Julius doesn't even exist in his world in the first place. Nevertheless, it still moved him. He felt it in his very core, that there was someone always there for him.
“I feel... light. Glad, and happy. Julius, I…” Subaru's throat tightened, everything's becoming blurry and before he knows it, he's crying once again.
Julius wasted no time in lending his shoulder, wrapping his arm around the boy. “There, there. Let it all out. You've done well, Subaru.”
Shame floods the black-haired, crying in front of the same person two times in a row? He doesn't know if the jerk is someone meant to be his lifelong confidant, but if he is, he's glad that it's Julius.
Once Subaru had calmed down a bit, the purple-haired led him to sit on a bench and soon handed him a bottle of cola. He sniffled, opening the bottle away from him as he expected it to burst. And it did.
“Uncle has taught me it's an effective way to cheer you up.” Julius confessed, watching the spectacle with an endearing look.
“I'll give the old man a talking to.” Subaru grumbled as he let the fuzzy drink ease his sore throat.
Julius chuckled as he joined Subaru on the bench, drinking his own beverage. It was quiet between the two for a while, prompting them to watch the people pass by.
“Why'd you lie about it?” The black-haired started, breaking the silence. “About the date.”
The other hummed in distaste, “I admit it's an unfair teasing on my part, in an act of desperation…” He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “I hate to say it while you're vulnerable.. But do you really want to know the reason?”
Subaru nodded.
“It's because I've fallen in love with you.” He confessed, making the black-haired's heart skip a beat. But the purple-haired himself doesn't look thrilled about it. “I've fallen in love with every aspect of you. Your flaws, quirks, personality… I've come to love Natsuki Subaru. I know I haven't seen all of you just yet, but I'll take my time getting there. It's just… I regret that I failed myself in containing my personal desire to make my feelings known to you, hence the “teasing”.”
He paused, taking a deep breath, “The look of dejection on your face earlier made me realize how shallow my actions were. I apologize, it won't happen again.”
Subaru listened intently to the man, unsuspecting to his honesty. The Julius he knows has the determination but will struggle to express his real thoughts outside of practicality. He hoped the knight would bare his heart to him as well. But right now, he should focus on what he sees right now.
“If you really feel that bad, then you should make it up to me.” He heard himself say, looking at the other's eyes.
“Of course, I would fulfill no matter what you ask me of.” Julius said quickly, tone full of resolution.
“Then, will you… date me?” Subaru sounded unsure after all that confidence, making him shift in his seat.
Julius' eyes went wide as saucers, his jaw slacked. “I— What?”
The black-haired prompted to look down, his face heating up. “D-Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this because I want to make it up to you for the things you've done for me!” He explained, his palms growing sweaty. “In fact, I'm not as clueless about my feelings as you think. I know very well about myself and I've concluded that I like you as well.”
A beat passes by without a word from the other, making him take a peek in uncertainty. His heart then started to beat impossibly faster when he saw the redness of Julius’ face, which even reached his ears.
“W-What?! You didn't look that flushed when you spewed those corny lines earlier!” He pointed out, jutting a finger towards him.
The purple-haired pressed a hand against his lips, “It's because I didn't expect you to reciprocate my feelings! I didn't confess for this to happen…”
Subaru crossed his arms defensively as he looked away, “Well clearly I did confess just now and you're still unsure about it? Talk about rude.”
“That wasn't my intention..!” Julius let out a sound of frustration before a weight settled against the black-haired's back, making himself stiffen into the place. “I love you so much, Subaru…” He heard the other whisper, meant only for his ears. “I'm incredibly happy to receive this chance.”
Ba dump, ba dump, ba dump
Subaru could practically hear his heart in his ears despite his efforts to calm it down. With a shuddering sigh, he slowly faced Julius once again and guided his hand against his cheek. He leaned towards it, eliciting a soft gasp from the other. For a moment, it felt like they were the only ones in the world. They wordlessly stared in each other's gaze before the distance started to close between them. No one knows who's leaning closer but that soon didn't matter as they found each other's lips.
Subaru slowly woke up with teary eyes, the sunlight hitting his skin as he stared at the familiar ceiling of his room. He let the lingering ecstasy wash over him before turning wistful, realizing it was just a dream. Just when he tried to wipe away the moisture in his eyes, a singular finger beat him to it. He flinched, looking at the owner, unexpectedly finding… Julius?
“Had a bad dream?” The knight asked, voice soft.
The black-haired attempted to blink away his sleep, “It was a good dream…” He heard himself say before he became fully aware of the situation. Why was Julius in his bed with him? His gaze trailed down, finding the other’s bare chest. Without thinking, he let out a yelp as his hand instinctively slapped right on the other’s face, forcing out an “Ack!” from his lips. Wow, what a sense of déjà vu…
“What the hell?!! Why are you naked?!” Subaru cried out as he scampered away.
“You mean, you don't remember what happened last Darksun…?” Julius said dejectedly, sounding like a kicked puppy as he rubbed his throbbing face.
Subaru grumbled, “Grr… Don't be vague, you asshole!”
The knight let out an amused huff at the other's antics, “You threw up on my uniform.” He explained, shaking his head. “You had too much to drink.”
He did what now?
Embarrassment isn't enough to describe what Subaru is feeling at the moment. Not only did he embarrass himself in front of Julius, but also because he can't remember it!
The black-haired scratched his cheek awkwardly, his voice small, “Sorry about that…”
Julius chuckled, “It's quite alright, Subaru. I’ll let my quasi spirits handle it later. But, thinking about it more clearly, maybe you threw up out of sheer nervousness…”
That made the other look up, nervousness? What's that about? He wants to bang his head on the wall for drawing a blank. “Uhm.. I’m a little lost here.”
With those words, Julius breaks his train of thoughts, looking right into his eyes. “Oh my, you also forget about that part? Now that's troublesome…”
Subaru’s curiosity peaked at that, leaning towards the knight in desperation. “Stop teasing me, out with it!” He demanded.
“After we raised a toast, you started to drink a little too much, leading you to confess your feelings to me.” He recounted, smiling to himself. “While you may not have a recollection of it, I will never forget about it.”
The black-haired can't help but freeze in his place. Confess? He thought he only did that in his dream… Is he still dreaming after all? His mouth was momentarily stuck into an ‘o’, having a hard time taking in the information.
The knight proceeded to look at him endearingly, as if reading his thoughts, “I’m guessing that you don't believe me?”
“It's hard not to..” Subaru admitted, avoiding his gaze.
The other hummed at that, his eyes softening. “Then, I just have just the right thing to prove it.” He announced, closing the distance Subaru made between them.
Subaru shivered, watching Julius get closer and closer to him. His heart leaped out of his chest when the knight lifted his chin up, forcing him to gaze upon his loving eyes. He finally lets go of his hesitation, closing his eyelids as the two shared a soft kiss. When Julius’ lips started to part from him, Subaru wasted no time in chasing it once again, eliciting a muffled gasp from the other. It was slowly becoming passionate by the second until a cough from someone else made Subaru jump.
“Ahem! Don't forget Betty is here, I suppose!” Beatrice announced her presence, looking awkwardly at the two from a chair right besides the bed.
The black-haired pushed away from the knight, crawling towards the artificial spirit in record time. He forced out a laugh, scratching his head. “B-Beako! Why didn't you say anything?”
The child crossed her arms, pouting. “You two were too preoccupied with yourselves that Betty doesn't know how to interject, I suppose!”
“Ahh! Sorry about that, Beako!” Subaru cried out, pulling her in a hug. “Don't worry, you'll be the number one in my heart no matter what!”
“That's right, Beako.” Julius joined them after a beat, planting his feet on the ground as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Even after Subaru confessed his feelings for me, I know you and Emilia-sama will always be the first one on his list.”
“And you're alright with that…?” Subaru muttered, dubious about the knight’s words.
“Hmph! Only Subaru can call me Beako, I suppose!” She pointed out, jutting a finger towards Julius furiously.
The door to his room soon opened, accompanied by a familiar voice, “You three certainly have sooo much energy this morning, huh?” Emilia peeked, eyeing the trio as she giggled.
The black-haired gasped, “Emilia-tan! Good morning! You look so beautiful as always, that's my E.M.T!!!”
“Thank you, Subaru.” The half-elf smiled before clasping her hands together, “Ah, right! Anastasia was looking for you, Julius. She said you need to start loading up the baggage on the carriage before lunch.”
“Understood. I'll be right there.” Julius nodded as he watched the girl close the door with a wave, leaving as quickly as she came.
With a sigh, Julius shifted on his seat. “I guess it's almost time for us to leave… I should… Hm? Subaru?” The knight called out when he noticed the shift in the other’s demeanor, making him worry.
Subaru promptly shook his head, trying not to hold Beatrice anymore tighter. “It's nothing, it's just…” He sighed, he can't really control his feelings when he's around Julius. “I mean, we just got together and now you had to leave. It's lame.”
Julius stared at him, he couldn't deny the boy’s words knowing that he felt the same way. It was rather unfortunate timing for them, but he just let out a hum, pressing a kiss against the other's temple.
“My departure may be inevitable, but that's no reason for you to feel down.” He comforted, pressing their heads together. “We will see each other soon in the future because my heart will always be with you. There will be no time where I wouldn't seek your presence the moment we part.”
Subaru pressed his lips together at those words, face flushed redder than a tomato. “Stop saying such corny shit…”
Even though the knight had no idea what “corny” might mean, he couldn't help but still chuckle at his lover’s adorable reaction.
They've forgotten about me again… Beatrice thought to herself, pouting. But as she watched the two love birds, she couldn't help but melt at the sight and put the scolding aside for another time.
She then wondered how Subaru would react the moment he learned the fact that he confessed to Julius in front of everyone else.