Work Text:
"Dess? Can you teach me guitar, you're so cool when you do it!"
"Sure, but I warn you Krismas, it is hard to learn! You think you're up for the challenge Krissy?"
Kris nods violently, Dess laughs, and responds,
"Alright then! You gotta practice it every time you're here alright?" Kris nods again, Dess then adds, "Oh also, Kris, do you want to go walk through the forest with us big kids?"
Kris nods eagerly, letting out a toothy grin, running to get their red horns. Trails of apple scent follow them. Dess laughs heartily at the scene, Asriel takes a curious look at the scene, he adjusts his varsity jacket. Noelle peeks from behind her older sister's leg, smiling widely at the scene. Dess ruffles her younger sister's hair, and says sternly to Kris,
"Kris, if you scare Noelle," Dess points to her baseball bat, "this bat is connecting to your face, got it?"
Kris, now back, with their iconic headband on, just giggles mischievously, they obviously weren't going to listen. Asriel lets out a tired sigh, Dess can't help but snicker. Noelle waddles over to Kris and grabs their hand, announcing softly,
"Can we go now Dess?"
Dess nods, and opens the door, grabbing Asriel's hand and running. Kris laughs and runs after, dragging Noelle. Who squeals at the sudden change in pace, but laughs as they follow the two teenagers.
...
After a while of running, they make it into the forest. An orange glow was casted throughout the entire forest, it was a bit dark, but nothing the group couldn't handle. Eventually they slowed to a walking pace. Asriel and Dess immediately talking about Super Smashing Fighters and Dragon Blazers, still holding each others hands. Kris and Noelle were just chasing each other around, still behind the two big kids, but they were doing things like playing tag, and trying to tickle each other.
"Azzy! You never told me you actually didn't baby out on the ice route of Dragon Blazers! Since when did you mature babe?"
Asriel blushes at the pet name, and responds,
"Err...it was mostly Kris trying to mess with me. They managed to sneak onto my save file and change the route to the Ice Route. I'm surprised Krissy even knew how to do it... I only found out because I found them crying after they froze the warrior."
Dess laughs, and glances at Kris, who was chasing her younger sibling around, and asks Kris,
"Kris! I didn't know you actually had the guts to do that Ice Route! You're brave, even braver than Azzy. You're offically... cool Krismas."
Kris cracks their head towards Dess, and gasps, and cheers quietly. Noelle pouts,
"Dess...! But...But that route's bad! And Azzy said Kris still cried! Why do they get it but not me...?"
Dess smirks,
"Noelle... You have to beat me in Super Smashing Fighters to earn your cool kid title. Don't think THAT'S ever happening, right babes?"
She elbows Asriel slightly, the goat sighs and reassures,
"Don't worry Noelle, you're cool. December's just being unfair."
Noelle also cheers, Kris and Noelle celebrate their new titles, Dess frowns and mutters to Asriel,
"Dude! Party pooper. It's funnier to watch her try than to give it to her!"
Asriel rolls his eyes playfully, then announces to everyone,
"We're here!"
Kris and Noelle look up curiously, they were at the SHELTER. Noelle whimpers softly and hides behind Kris, Kris looked a bit afraid too, they mumble softly,
"Dess...? Do we have to go here again? The place is creepy..."
Dess scoffs,
"Krismas, I just gave you your cool kid title and now you want to throw it away? Come on! I'll protect you two, so will Azzy, got it?"
The two kids nod slowly, still trembling but trying to look brave.
Asriel had a look of concern on his face, but it quickly washed away as they approached the shelter.
"Hrgh...I think I managed to get the code to this place... let me try something real quick.."
Dess types something into the number lock on the door, and it lets out a soft click as it opens. Dess laughs in happiness and shock, and breathlessly says,
"Oh my god, it worked! Come on guys!"
The goat and the older doe enter first, then the two children. Dess looks out of the crack of the door as they all enter, before closing the door and enveloping everyone in darkness.
"Kris? You've been staring at that guitar for a while."
Kris jolts faintly and looks at Susie, who was still holding her guitar. Noelle looks at Kris with a sad, knowing glance, and asks,
"Kris? I...I remember you wanting to start playing guitar, do you.. want to try?"
Kris nods faintly, Susie looks at Noelle, a bit confused, yet gives it to Kris. Kris stretches their fingers, even if they played the piano without the SOUL, their fingers still felt a bit sore and needed to be stretched.
"...do you have any music?"
They asked, Noelle nods and quickly runs upstairs. Now that Noelle was gone, Susie asks,
"Kris...what did Noelle mean by that? Did you... want to play before?"
They nod and mumble,
"...she was gonna teach me, but... she disappeared before I could be taught..."
Susie senses Kris's melancholy tone, and decides to not push further, but mutters,
"...Tell me more when you're ready, 'Kay?"
Noelle runs back down the stairs, holding a stack of books and paper, and sets them down on the table.
"U-Um... there's a variety of them. I think.. this is the one she practiced the basics with."
The deer sets down a book, it was a starter guide to the acoustic guitar. Kris opens the book carefully and flips through the pages, stopping at the chords. They strum one chord, it comes out wonky. They adjust their fingers, this wasn't like the piano, it required more weird finger movements. It hurt their fingers to press into the strings, they then strum, it's a bit better... still bad. They slowly adjust and play, adjust and play, over and over till- plunk they get the right sound. They smile faintly, Susie and Noelle clap, the dinosaur cheers,
"WHOO! You're a natural Kris! That only took you... what, like 5 minutes?"
Kris flushes faintly at that, goodness they were garbage at this. Dess could play basically anything, she could strum fast songs, sing while playing, play songs by ear... if only they could. They mouth a little, "thank you", and start to play something random. Just strumming random chords, it sounded like trash at first, like a baby trying to play. Then the human pressed down a little harder, and adjusts their grip, it automatically sounds ten times better.
Kris, now feeling a bit more confident, starts to strum some chords in a random order. Occasionally they messed up, slowed down, paused to move to the next chord, but they were making... music. Susie and Noelle swayed softly to the little song, in the vent... the SOUL muttered, no one would be able to hear it though,
"...keep on playing. It sounds nice, you're a good musician."
"...D-Dess? I-I'm scared... it's so dark..."
Noelle cries, gripping onto Kris's dress. Kris rolls their eyes, obviously scared shitless, and says in a slightly mocking voice,
"I thought you were brave! Let's keep on moving!!"
Noelle flinches at Kris's words, Dess keeps on walking, still holding Asriel's hand. Asriel was holding his phone, which had the flashlight on. The inside of the SHELTER was dusty, it smelled of ash and something unintelligible. Dess freezes as a loud crash is heard up ahead, she lets go of the goat's hand and spins her bat around threateningly. Asriel stiffens, and goes to a defending position, Noelle lets out a soft yelp and buries her head in Kris's shoulder, Kris freezes up, yet tries to put on a brave face, they were also crying slightly.
"Show yourself! If you don't come out... This wiffle bat is going to BREAK YOUR FACE!"
Dess growls, Asriel still holds the flashlight, and moves it around. Before focusing on a specific area, he whispers to Dess,
"...Dear, theres a hint of a tail over there-"
Before both of the teenagers could comprehend what was happening, a cat like entity with pair of pink and yellow eyes attacks, it attacks Dess, scratching at her arm. Dess cries out in pain and whips her bat at it, it dodges quickly. Noelle screams and falls on her back, sobbing, Asriel shouts, alarmed,
"DECEMBER!"
He pulls Dess away from the cat like entity, and pulls her to his chest, the cat was persistent however, and pounced again. Kris was shaking, they wanted to show the older doe that they were brave though! They lunge their little body at the entity, they collide with the thing, and tumble into a wall. They scratch and punch at the entity, the cat like entity fights back, it scratches at Kris's face, and bites their arm. Kris screams in pain, and pulls back slightly, crying and clutching their arm, their eye was all scratched up, their face was bleeding. The creature swipes again, making a long scratch across Kris's chest, and part of their neck.
Asriel whispers a small,
"Shit-!"
As he pulls Dess behind him and grabs her bat, and runs at the thing, swinging, and the wood connects with its stomach firmly, and the creature tumbles far into a wall. It was out of sight now, Asriel turns to check up on everyone, he runs over to Noelle and swiftly picks her up. The goat then runs over to Kris, and picks them up, muttering in their ear,
"It's going to okay Krissy, just please... stay awake!"
Asriel then goes to run over to Dess but...
she was gone.
Kris was still playing their little song, but they pause as they hear sniffling, they look up, and they see the doe crying. Susie jolts in alarm and yells,
"Noelle-!"
Kris sets down the guitar and swiftly moves over to Noelle, and pull her into a hug. They mutter,
"...it's going to be okay Noelle."
Noelle seems to cry more at that, Kris even felt themselves start to tear up at that. That was something Dess always used to say to Noelle whenever something scary happened. Noelle sobbed into Kris's shoulder, and shakily mumbles,
"... sob I-I... you sound so much like her... when she started playing... hic"
Kris now had tears freely flowing down their face, they remembered that day, the day she disappeared. The same day she promised to teach them how to play, it would never come, and it's all their fault.
Susie looks at the two, and simply joins the hug. Susie didn't know what happened, but she knew it was bad.
It felt like ages, but eventually the group hug ends. Noelle was still a bit teary, it was hard to tell what Kris was feeling due to their face being hidden, but one could assume they were teary as well. Susie was a bit concerned.
"...Do any of you want to explain.. why you reacted like that?"
Susie asked, not in a pushy way though. Noelle sniffles and nods, and whispers,
"...t-that's my sisters guitar. D-Dess's. She went m-missing when me, her, Kris, and Asriel were exploring the SHELTER. She... was a pro at the guitar. She... promised to teach Kris... but that was the same day she went missing."
Kris seems to slump at that memory, Susie gently pulled Kris into a side hug, they murmur,
"...i...i just.. wanted to play. so i did. ... it's... honestly my fault she's gone. my fault that my family fell apart. that... everything changed."
Susie lightly jabs Kris's side, and says in a harsh, yet offended tone,
"Huh?! And how the hell is it your fault that she went missing?! It for sure ain't, so stop deprecating yourself so much! I bet it was just... something stupid. You went into THE SHELTER? That place was creepy, something might've taken her from within there. That means it isn't your fault dude!"
Kris laughs blankly, and shakes their head. Noelle, now a bit better with getting it off of her chest, scolds softly,
"Kris... I thought I've told you... it isn't our fault that she's gone! She's... she's gotta be out there. Okay? It's not your fault that Dess disappeared, and it's not your fault that your family fell apart!"
Kris gazes at the floor, their hands shook softly. They weren't convinced, and it was obvious.
Kris slowly opened their eyes... bright lights burned their retinas as they squint again. They attempt to sit up, and wince in pain. They smelled medicine. This was the hospital.
"Kris! Thank the angel you're awake!"
They faintly hear their mother exclaim, they felt their mother's gently hand grasp theirs.
"Oh honey... are you feeling alright?"
They nod and quietly ask, their voice incredibly raspy and hoarse,
"....where dess?"
Toriel seems to slump slightly, and she whispers to her child, trying to reassure,
"...That I do not know. The police are busy trying to find her, so everything will be alright, okay?"
That didn't seem to do the trick, as Kris starts to cry, they pull their knees to their chest and cry into them. Toriel hugs Kris, it even seemed like she too, was crying. She wasn't trying to show and concern them though, she gently ran her claws through Kris's long, unevenly chopped hair, attempting to sooth. She wouldn't know this, but this was the day her sweet child would forever change.
...
"Asgore! Have you even TRIED thinking about your family during this investigation?! You haven't even bothered asking out children how they are doing ONCE during this!"
"Tory! I've been busy with the investigation alright?! I'll talk to them soon! Finding her is incredibly important to the Holidays AND us!"
There is the sound of something being thrown, and more yelling. The human and the teen goat huddle in their room, the human crying and covering their ears, the teen goat is hugging the human, also tearing up, yet his expression is more of anger and tired acceptance. His hands rigid against the young kid's back. The human's face is buried in his sweater. He removes a hand from the human's back and grabs a cigarette from a box he was hiding, and lights it. Taking a huge drag out of it, before crushing it in his palm, and shaking the ash off of his hand. He looks down at the human with slight sympathy, yet all he was feeling was anger and the feeling of wanting to run. He carefully moves the human off of his lap and stands up, putting on his shoes, and opening the window in their shared bedroom. The human looks up, crying, snot running down their face, they ask,
"D-don't leave me Azzy! W-where are you going?"
The goat replies,
"To the forest. Don't. Follow."
He glances back one last time, before hopping through the window. The human is all alone, in a house that is too loud. They cry and cry and wonder if it was all their fault. They know the answer though, and it's yes. They sob more at the answer, it was always like that wasn't it? They always ruined everything, they were the weird kid in the neighborhood, they were the kid who liked to play mean pranks. They were nothing more than a mistake, they didn't deserve to be adopted, to have ANY friends, to even exist.
"...how are you so sure about that?"
They mumble, clenching the cushions a little tighter, they felt their vision grow a bit fuzzy from all the memories. They feel Susie squeeze their shoulder, and Noelle gaze at them. Susie answers,
"Well, I just... do. It can't be your fault that she went missing! You wouldn't have known that at all, you were just a kid Kris. It can't possibly be you to blame for her disappearance."
"Yeah...! Kris... you're reminding me a lot.. of that day. When you changed, when you... drifted away from all of us. You know we're all here for you-"
Kris slams their hand down onto the table suddenly and shouts at the two, finally breaking the glass that held all their pent up emotions,
"Oh that's what I hear ALL THE TIME! 'Oh, we're all here for you Kris! Oh, it isn't your fault! You couldn't have known-' SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! Everyone... in this GOD forsaken town, is so DAMN nice! WHY do you try to empathize with me?! Why do you try?! Noelle, you should know pretty damn well... that if I never said, 'I thought you were brave! Let's keep on moving!!', that we would've turned back around, and got out of that place safely! But no, I decide to be a little ASSHOLE and tell us to continue moving! I could've prevented it entirely! SO STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A GOOD PERSON NOELLE! I caused my parent's divorce, I caused my brother to change! I'm the reason why my dad got kicked out of the police force! And Susie? I think you were right. My mom is already sick of me. That someone who wants to make me disappear? Is myself. She WILL be happier without me. I'm just a fucking mistake."
Kris mumbled the last part, they were sobbing by the time they finished yelling. Noelle was silently crying, only letting out soft cracks of a soft sob every few minutes. Her hand, that was reaching out towards Kris, was now resting against her lap, she stared at the ground. Susie, Susie was utterly heartbroken, she was a bit teary eyed, she felt incredibly guilty. Her hand was shaking against Kris's shoulder, she was dead silent for once in her life. The air was tense and humid, the whole house was silent.
Eventually, Susie's hand fell to her side, and she pulled the human into an aggressive hug, whispering,
"I'm so fucking sorry."
Kris didn't hug back, they simply sobbed into her shoulder, Noelle also hugged Kris, sobbing loudly now into the back of their sweater.
Kris felt someone roughly pull their face up by their hair. Kris winced faintly but otherwise their expression was just the same blank expression they've had. They hear the familiar, hostile voice of Susie above them.
"Well look who it is ... I bet you already know what time it is. Glad you're preparing for these loser."
Kris didn't resist as Susie dragged them out by their hair. They felt bad for her honestly, must've had a hard life, they kinda find her cool. They just don't like how they're treated by her, but they deserve it anyways, so its fine.
First punch, it felt like 500 pound steel slamming against their jaw. They're surprised it isn't broken. Pain shoots through the human's entire body, yet they don't show a reaction in their face. That seems to always piss off the monster.
Second punch, slightly weaker than the last, this time it was against their cheek. It still hurt like hell, but they're used to this by now. It will be over eventually. They don't let out a cry of pain, they don't flinch in their expression. They remain blank. Susie gets pissed off. Then, her third punch will be stronger. Instead of a third punch though, they feel the girl aggressively tug down at their sleeve. Shit.
"Oh, what's hidden behind these things? Probably pathetic scars, and I'll add more onto them..."
Kris immediately started a staring contest on the floor as their sleeve was pulled down, there shined several, rough, red, aggressive scars. Some covered in bandages, others shown in the light. It looked like an incredibly used chopping board. The monster lets out a gasp, and drops the human. It's clear that she wasn't expecting that. Kris fell carelessly onto the floor, still focused heavily on the ground.
"Wha...what the hell?! Damn. Guess your even more messed up than me. Glad you realize that... you're really fucking useless, and that no one is gonna mourn over you when you die."
She tried to sound mean like always, but it obviously held a lot of held back emotions. She mutters,
"You're lucky Kris. You've escaped even more hell today. Hope your ready for more..."
She runs off, leaving Kris on the floor. Kris stops the staring contest with the ground, and pulls up their sleeve. They shakily stand up. They wouldn't know it, but that would be the last time Susie would ever violently attack them.
Kris walks off to the bathroom. Time to hide more bruises... they scramble through their bag and pull out some makeup. They do the same routine, cover up the punch marks with color correctors and foundation until it looks seamless. They put away their makeup, and just look at themselves in the mirror. Susie's right. They really are so fucking useless. They eye over their own figure, and feel sick. They feel their binder tighten against their chest as they suck in a deep breath, they feel buzzing in their pocket. They pull it out and check the caller ID. It's their mom, they feel guilt looking at it. They press accept and put the device to their ear.
"Kris? Honey I'm waiting for you in the car! Please come out when you're ready! I've been getting worried about you lately... you've always been a bit late to leaving school. Is everything good?"
"...yeah, just finishing homework."
Kris hears their mom click their tongue, it's clear she's not convinced, but doesn't want to push.
"...Alright, come out please! I'll be waiting, Love you bye!"
"...bye"
They hang up, and pocket their phone. Ah, where were they? They don't deserve their parents. They're so damn nice, and their both suffering so much. And the human is just adding more worries onto their shoulders. Ever since their depression diagnose, they feel as if they're burdening their mom too much. Making her worry. She has good reason to. ... goodness they hate this. They sense a memory coming back, of that night. Of the promise Dess made to them, that she'd teach them guitar. They feel themselves tear up slightly. Pack it up Kris, you have to get home.
The 3 eventually pull away, Noelle was still hugging Kris however. Susie grabs the guitar again, and asks Kris,
"...Do you want to hear some fire songs?"
They nod faintly, still crying. Susie nods faintly, and starts to strum, it sounded...terrible. Terrible though, in the way that it would make them laugh. Noelle winces slightly at the out of tune chords, Kris lets out a sob-laugh, that quickly turned back into a sob. Susie smiled in shaky confidence,
"Hell yeah... be ready for an encore Kris."
Kris felt Noelle's grip on them tightly slightly as she mutters,
"Susie... a-all due respect... don't."
That makes Kris laugh more genuinely, it still was a more choked laugh, but it was a genuine laugh. Susie lets out an audible cheer, and Noelle laughs softly as well, occasionally sobbing as well.
"WHOO HOO! Aah... anyways. Kris, don't just think WE'RE ignoring that."
Kris flinches at that, ah right. They did just yell at Noelle and Susie.
"Y-yeah Kris...? I'm... sorry I've never bothered to ask how you felt. But... p-please note that.. no matter how much you think it's all your fault... I'll still be here, stubbornly telling y-you that it isn't your fault!"
"Kris. I know I've been... really really mean to you in the past. I'm fucking sorry. I'm so fucking sorry I treated you like shit. I never even knew you've been hiding all of this! And I still treated you like an asshole... Kris. Seriously, please... don't do anything stupid. If you dare come to me with all of this, 'Its all my fault' shit? I'll find every reason that it isn't, and play an instrument horribly. You're my best friend Kris, and I don't want to see you looking all depressed all the time anymore."
Kris felt themselves cry more at their words, they felt the thoughts telling them every wrong thing that they've done slowly disappear. It was faintly still there, but Kris knew. They knew. That they had real friends.
"...sob F-Fuck.. I'm sorry I yelled at you two like that... I'm... sniffle tired."
Noelle squeezes Kris one last time before pulling away and laughing gently,
"W-well we have been crying for like.. an hour. D..do you want to play guitar one last time? It....It soothes me, and I think i-it would help us a lot."
Susie pats Kris's shoulder and hands them the guitar. They carefully take it, wipe their tears, and slowly, start to strum. Just like last time, they mess up sometimes, they slow down, but they're slowly calming down. Susie grabs Noelle's hand, and squeezes it gently. Noelle smiles softly at Susie, and she closes her eyes as the chords move through the air.
"Whoo hoo! Krismas, you're a natural at that! Maybe one day you'll be able to beat me... HAH! No you won't.. I'm the best damn guitar player in this town and I won't allow you to beat me!"
Kris smiles faintly as they continue strumming. They swore... that they heard her voice. They knew... she was proud.