Work Text:
Mint Green @mint404
I should've just called in sick fml I'm too hungover for this shit. The damn evacuation sirens are killing me and they’re making my date with the porcelain a fucking nightmare. Did anyone in this stupid place ever stop to think that the automated ‘keep calm and evacuate’ message repeating over and over again might be panic inducing? AND I THINK I JUST SAW A SNUFFLEPIG WALK INTO THE STALL BESIDE MINE WTF??? DO STUFFED ANIMALS SHIT?
||
Mint Green @mint404
Ok I just finished my business and why tf didn’t the bosses announce what was going on before they fucking ran away??? There’s a magician animating all the toys??? WHY?? Ofc the one day I didn't wish for a villain to attack my workplace, a fucking villain attacked my workplace
||
Sir Ma’am @genderonawhim
OP are you at the CC toy factory? They ordered evacuation fifteen minutes ago??
||
Mint Green @mint404
I have IBS
||
Sir Ma’am @genderonawhim
Ah understood i wish you the best of luck
||
Mint Green @mint404
POST CANCELLED I LOVE MY LIFE
||
Sir Ma’am @genderonawhim
Lmao what changed your mind
||
Mint Green @mint404
THE ORIGINAL JL ARE HERE AND EVERYTHING IS SO BEAUTIFUL
||
Sir Ma’am @genderonawhim
HOLY SHIT I’M SO JEALOUS THE OG JL RARELY SHOW UP TOGETHER ANYMORE
||
Mint Green @mint404
WAHAHAHAHAHAH SEETHE WITH JEALOUSY AS I BASK IN THE GLORY OF THE FOUNDING MEMBERS OF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE I CAN FUCKING DIE HAPPY RN
||
Sir Ma’am @genderonawhim
LMAO ok idiot. Care to share with the rest of us what’s going on? Spill the fucking tea
||
Mint Green @mint404
Ok so like a magician showed up while I was trying not to die in the bathroom (as one does) and the factory orders evacuation ‘cause the stuffed animals are coming to life or becoming animated or whatever. I’m fighting my own demons in the toilet so I can’t escape with everyone else so I finish that battle first and since I do not want to die in the bathroom, I hide. And there’s other people who also didn’t evacuate here and they took all the good hiding spots so I kinda just climbed somewhere high. BUT ANYWAY. I see THE MOST GLORIOUS SIGHT
||
Mint Green @mint404
I’m guessing they were all free or something?? Been kinda quiet lately. But ANYWAY ALL THE OG JL WERE THERE. So the magician starts throwing magic beams or something at them (it’s honestly really pretty and sparkly. 10/10 would hire for a fireworks show). Obviously, the heroes dodge and coz they’re good like that, they’re dodging everything. The only ones getting hit are us fools who didn’t evacuate and nothing really happened except that clothes got switched. BUT THEN F TRIED TO RELOCATE AN IDIOT CIVILIAN AND HE AND BC GOT HIT AND THEIR UNIFORMS GOT SWITCHED
||
Mint Green @mint404
I REPEAT: THEIR UNIFORMS GOT SWITCHED
||
Mint Green @mint404
And their powers too ig coz like Flash screamed coz he was suddenly in fishnets and heels (he’s fucking rocking them. Bros never skipped leg day in his life) and made a little soundwave. Their clothes changed to fit their bodies too which is v generous of the magician so I forgive them for animating the snufflepig and interrupting my date with the toilet or whatever
||
Flash deserves that museum @flashfan
OP I’M BEGGING YOU FOR PHOTOS I NEED BLACK CANARY!FLASH AND FLASH!BLACK CANARY IN MY LIFE
||
Mint Green @mint404
I’ll do you one better. Lemme see if I can livestream
||
Flash deserves that museum @flashfan
YESSSSS OP I LOVE YOU!!! THE JL PROBABLY HATES YOU FOR BEING AN IDIOT AND NOT EVACUATING BUT I LOVE YOU I’LL GIVE YOU MY KIDNEY AND MY FUCKING GUT TO CURE YOUR IBS
||
Mint Green @mint404
Ok not sure how I feel about IBS being a part of my legacy but thank you ig
[Mint404 is now live]
“Is this live?” whispered Mint Green.
Yessss
Hiiiiiiii OP
OP you sound so cute for an idiot <3
Where’s the fight
Omg that walking froggy luggy is so cute
U fuckin idiot just evacuate already
“Oh, wow, the chat is going very fast. It’s making my phone lag. And before you say something about the shitty resolution, I have, uhm, five words for you: I work in a factory. You’re lucky I’m sacrificing my data for you instead of using the shitty work Wi-Fi ‘cause I know that thing would make the stream 280p max instead of the HD I’ve got right now.”
There was some shuffling, the blur of work boots flashing by and then–
Wow
Hot
Fuckkkk
Damn
The lord has blessed me on this day but my thoughts are anything but holy
Raw and going back for seconds
The camera angle changed and the livestream audience were treated to the sight of the Justice League scattered across the factory ground. Flash and Black Canary’s uniforms were indeed switched as Mint Green reported. Given the form fitting nature of both suits, and the vastly differing body types of both heroes, the change was obvious even without prior knowledge.
Flash’s iconic red cowl with its lighting ears framed a softer face, with plumper lips, and smoky eyes shining with glittery eyeshadow. His even more iconic logo was distorted by Black Canary’s chest, the placement clearly designed with a flatter chest in mind. Black Canary’s curves were further accentuated by the lighting bolts that wrapped just below the waist of Flash’s suit, akin to a belt. Further down, the red suit empathised the well-defined musculature of Black Canary’s thighs. Flash’s suit may have showcased less skin than Black Canary’s, however it didn’t feel any less revealing. It was almost as though Flash’s suit was designed to entice, the way sculptors of the past lovingly carved marble statues wearing nothing but drapes of fabric, covering every intimate area, yet every fold highlighted the natural curves hidden beneath. Teasingly. Suggestively.
Mummy? Sorry. Mummy? Sorry. Mummy
I am looking respectfully
Well I’m looking disrespectfully
Call me an omega the way i’m leaking
love how BC is basically covered from head to toe but you can still tell she's beautiful
Lmao its because that suit might as well be latex
Fuck her usual fishnets somehow hid how muscular her thighs are
I’m drooling from both holes
Black Canary’s familiar blonde locks framed a face with a more defined jawline, flowing down Flash’s nape, where her black choker rested upon a prominent Adam’s apple. Her cropped leather jacket laid open as usual, to the view of the low neckline shirt now stretched across Flash’s chest, just as it once had Black Canary’s bountiful one. Flash’s pecs glistened slightly with sweat in the harsh factory lighting but the livestream’s focus was on something else entirely. Black Canary had chosen to wear her short shorts today, instead of the leather pants she occasionally wore, perhaps in respect to the summer heat. Beneath the short shorts, she wore her signature fishnets, which were now wrapped around Flash’s pale legs, muscular calves framed beautifully by the crisscrossing string.
AWOOOGA
Thighs <3
Oughhh fishnets
10/10 would rip them with my teeth
All that running really paid off hot damn
Those shorts do so much for his ass
I get Central now I too would build a museum for this man
i stan this magician supporting hero fandom one mischievous deed at a time
WAIT BC WEARS A WIG???
OMG is this how we’re finding out those blonde locks are fake??
And how come Flash has a mask on???
Despite struggling with the sudden change in powers, Flash and Black Canary showcased their expertise as veteran heroes. They immediately minimised themselves and retreated to the edges of the battlefield, somewhere out of the way. Both heroes took a moment to collect themselves and then, in a show of remarkable adaptability, they began to provide support to their teammates, albeit sans new abilities.
“OMG, GL and Supes just got switched.”
damn, couldn't see his face
yoooo, asshole, why you tryna see gl's face they have secret identities for a reason
OP change the angle!
fuck off
Batman coming in the clutch with that spare mask
why does he just carry them around??? Does this happen often??? Or is he is amazing like that
“Oh yeah, he did that with Flash too. I think Batman carries a bunch of masks on him for some reason,” Mint Green whispered. “Wait, is he? Yeah, looks like Green Lantern is trying to coach Superman how to use his powers and Supes is just telling GL not to move.”
OMG GL just accidentally made a crater in the floor
Damn how strong is supes? he need that much control??
That’s hot af <3
“Okay—” Mint Green hissed softly to themself. “It’s starting to actually look dangerous now. I might have to dip.”
Noooooo
No OP please don’t go
What kind of journalist leaves the scene like this
OP stay!!
You can’t leave!
“Chat, I can’t afford to get hurt. This is obviously not going to get covered by workers comp, and I need rent money.”
[Exo Hub has donated $50]
“Holy shit. Which rich horny bastard entered my chat?”
OP leave your phone here if you wanna evacuate
“Are you fucking for real?? Chat, you’re gonna have to give me way more than fifty if you want me to leave my fucking phone here. I don’t even have it backed up.”
[Gen Dope has donated $25]
[Lost my Hare has donated $5]
[Fast Shooter has donated $40]
[JacknJill has donated $20]
[Servant of Lust has donated $70]
[Venus rules has donated $5]
[Loot this idiot has donated $30]
[Pepe loves heroes has donated $15]
[Superman22 donated $10]
[Wonderwoman Black Canary has donated $35]
“Holy shit, you all have more money than you know what to do with.”
This might be our only opportunity to see the JL like this and you want to dip???
OP do you realise that you’re the only person that’s ever filmed Batman in daylight without him being obscured by a teammate or a wall?
This is actually historical footage and you want to leave???
Are you stupid??
“Okay, fine! Jeez, I’ll fucking stay, you happy? Fuckin– holy shit...”
The spell landed on Batman and Wonder Woman, instantly switching their abilities and uniforms. The seasoned heroes didn’t pause at the change, instead, immediately jumping into action as though planned. Wonder Woman ran towards Batman, black cape spread like a bat’s wings, while man swiftly rolled across the ground in her direction. As soon as the two reached each other, Batman reached into his (her?) belt, while Wonder Woman threw the cape over his head. When the cape settled again, Batman had a black mask plastered over his upper face. Without any further ado, they headed back into the fray.
Wonder Woman’s gloved hands automatically reached into a pouch in Batman’s suit, and retrieved several batarangs. She flung them all at once, zero hesitation in her movements, and pinned several animated stuffed toys to the ground and walls. She didn’t seem at all deterred by the fact that she no longer had her Amazonian strength and physique to bolster her talents. Wonder Woman proved once again, why she was known as a warrior princess, effortlessly taking down enemy combatants with human limitations. Batman’s heavy armour and cape did nothing to impede the elegance of her actions. If anything, they only made her look more imposing, more regal. She was the wind, billowing through cavernous valleys. An unstoppable force of nature. Wonder Woman wore the cape and cowl, with its protruding spikes and claws, like it was hers.
Mark me down as afraid AND horny
Holy fucking shit that’s Batman with a bigger chest and somehow bigger muscles???
Is this how I’m finding out that WW has bigger biceps than Batman?
She can suffocate me and I’ll thank her
The fact that the adapted chest plate is only slightly bigger on WW… ;)
Step on me please I’m begging
I never paid attention to WW’s waist before but that goddamn belt is a siren call and now I think WW has a slutty waist
The way she’s in all black and the only colour I see is a golden belt around a slutty waist and plump red lips…
She’s so fucking hot
“I- I thought I was ace but Wonder Woman and Batman are??? Making me look?? Disrespectfully?” Mint Green said in a hoarse voice. “Am I bi? Or is my type specifically Wonder Woman in Batman’s suit and Batman in hers?”
Mint Green zoomed in on Batman in Wonder Woman’s suit. Their phone, as previously established, didn’t have the greatest resolution, and zooming in only served to further worsen the quality of the footage captured. 280p (or worse) did not stop the livestream audience from appreciating Batman’s appearance.
The world hadn’t known Batman had black hair prior to this, but now that they’ve seen it, they wondered why there was ever a debate. Of course Batman had black hair. No other colour suited him as much as black. His hair bounced slightly from Batman wielding Wonder Woman’s massive sword, looking fluffy and soft. The hardened warrior had soft hair. Of course. He was an angel from hell, why wouldn’t his hair be soft and perfect for running fingers through?
Wonder Woman’s armour consisted of a few components; chest piece, armoured skirt, vambrances, knee-high boots. The chest piece, now lovingly framing Batman’s pecs, like art frames would masterful paintings, followed the curve of muscles, enhancing the overall artwork rather than distracting or detracting from it. The armoured skirt began at the waist, ending mid-thigh, draped over a curvy and perfectly shaped ass. It occasionally fluttered, teasing an opportunity to see more hidden beneath the armour, but never actually fluttered enough for anything to be visible. But as beautifully as the armour framed Batman’s body, one’s eyes couldn’t help but to be drawn to his uncovered skin. It was like seeing a Victorian woman's ankle. Forbidden despite being relatively tame. It was the intimacy of a stolen moment. A faux sense of vulnerability manufactured by the villain's spell. Batman’s skin was not meant to be exposed like this. It was supposed to be hidden under the protection of heavy armour. And yet, here it was. Bare and tantalising, drawing eyes to its forbidden landscape.
Batman’s skin was scarred all over. Slashes, stabs, bullets, acid, fire. He looked to have been injured by every harmful thing in the world. His scars told a story of hardship, of unyielding determination and the indomitable human spirit. They decorated his body, only adding to its charm and appeal, as Batman decapitated a stuffed animal with Wonder Woman’s sword. His exposed biceps glistened with sweat, toned muscles flexing with exertion.
Woah mama
I’m writing this with my clit
I’m writing this with my dick
Well I’m writing this with my tongue because everything else is busy
I need to impregnate him
If not wife why wife shaped
Wanna lick that sweat off his skin
Biceps not as big as WW’s but would happily get chocked out by them
You know what I’ll let him chop off my head with the sword
Which head?
Both
That man was born to carry my babies
Thunder thighs…
Call him mama coz by the time I’m done with him he will be one
“Begone, pervert!” A loud screech cut through the noise in the factory. It was followed by a yelp and what sounded like multiple bodies piling atop each other.
“Um,” Mint Green began. “I think the Titans just finished the battle.”
The camera stopped focussing on Batman and swerved to the right. The sound of multiple bodies piling atop each other was in fact exactly that. The Titans hadn’t utilised any of their usual finesse in fighting the villain, simply choosing to brute force their way into victory. Beneath the heroes was a pancaked magician, looking way too happy for the situation they were in. Cuffs surrounded their wrists, signalling a true end to the fight.
“Ba– Batman!” A young voice cried out.
Mint Green swerved the camera back to Batman.
A little boy dressed in Robin’s uniform (clearly too big for him) ran to Batman’s side and threw his arms around him.
“H- Baby? What are you doing here?” Batman asked the boy, crouching down to better hug him. The boy nuzzled his face in Batman’s chest and whined until Batman ran his fingers through soft black locks. “Why are you wearing your brother’s suit?”
“Because I don’t have my own yet! And I needed to protect you!”
Batman’s lips twitched and a soft smile blossomed on his face. “Thank you, baby, but the JL had the situation handled. We would’ve dispatched the villain ourselves had your brother not signalled us to stand down.”
“I’m protecting your virtue!”
Batman’s hands stuttered, only resuming its jobs of brushing the boy’s hair when the boy let out a displeased huff. “My virtue?”
“Yes! These degenerates are looking at you with sinful eyes!” The boy turned his head and looked, glared, directly into the lenses of Mint Green’s phone camera.
Holy shit
Fuck
Oops
Busted
Yeah just like I busted my nut
Bruh that’s exactly why Batman’s son is upset
He should be used to it with a dad that slutty
I’ve never heard of this Robin before!
That’s the current Robin’s suit
Holy shit we unlocked a new Robin before he even debuted through the power of lust
Mama he’s already a mama
If only Batman in Wonder Woman’s suit would cradle me so maternally
The indisposed Green Lantern burst into laughter. The factory trembled slightly from the sheer force of his joy. “He’s telling you to cover up! OMG, Spooky, have you no sense of shame. Showing your shoulders like that? I can see your collarbones. The scandal!”
“No!” The boy wrapped his body around Batman’s shoulders the best he could but alas, Batman’s shoulders were simply too broad for him to do so. “Don’t look!”
Green Lantern’s laughter slowed into chuckles. “Too late. I’ve looked. I’ve gotten an eyeful. Spooky looks great in a skirt.”
The boy unsheathed a sharp one-handed sword from somewhere and pointed it at Green Lantern. “I’ll gouge your eyes out if you don’t look away.”
Holy mother of god where did he get that sword from
Tiny child with a massive sword
Wtf demon child
This pre Robin is so scary wtf
Does this mean he’ll stab our eyes too?
Cute stabby baby
Green Lantern stuck his tongue out childishly and continued to tease the boy. “Too bad for you, I’ve got Kryptonian invincibility right now and Batman confiscated your kryptonite ages ago!”
Superman sighed. “You should really stop talking. Nothing has ever stopped a Robin from obtaining Kryptonite before.”
“Aw, but it’s so fun to tease him!”
“I don’t understand how you can keep doing this when you’ve faced Robin Retribution so many times over the years.”
“Honestly makes it more thrilling.”
Superman heaved another heavy sigh and gave a look to Superboy at his side. The young hero readjusted his sunglasses and grinned wildly back at Superman. “Got it, Boss.” He slapped a hand over Green Lantern’s mouth and said, “Operation Muzzling the Yapping Lantern on the go!”
“Hey!” was the muffled yelp behind Superboy’s hand.
“Alright, as funny as this was, I do agree with the little one,” Wonder Woman began. She unclipped Batman’s cape from around her shoulders and wrapped it around him. “It was negligent of us to allow this continue so long. Batman could have caught a cold from the exposure!”
Green Lantern escaped Superboy’s hand and added a teasing, “Or gotten burnt from the sunlight!”
Batman readjusted his cape so that it covered the boy, which had the side effect of fully concealing Batman's body from wandering eyes. “Not a vampire, Lantern.”
“Coulda fooled me, Spooky!”
Do you think GL has a death wish?
S looks so done with him lmao
GL’s a freak
ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US
Batman got burritoed cute
I wish WW would wrap a cape around me too
LMAO THE WAY SUPERBOY JUST SLAP HIS HAND OVER HIM
Robin Retribution?? It’s happened enough that it has a name lol
Mint Green zoomed out of the scene and they could see that all the switched heroes were being tended to by their mentees.
“How are these freaks getting even worse about you when Flash’s uniform covers more skin?!” Arsenal groused with annoyance, swaddling Black Canary in a fluffy blanket.
“My charm is just that irresistible,” Black Canary joked, giving Arsenal a pat on the shoulder.
Flash Jr also wrapped his mentor in a blanket, rambling nervously the whole time. “Omg Omg Omg. I’ve never seen people talk about you like that before and now I fully understand the murder in Wing’s eyes when people talk about Batman. Did we accidentally mess up the timeline again? This must be the dark timeline. People are making thirst edits of you in fishnets and it hasn’t even been ten minutes since you’ve started wearing them!”
“Ahhh, Junior, they’ve been edits of me before. Your feed just so happens to be the wholesome ones only,” Flash Sr reported, shattering an innocent’s heart.
“What?? Did Oracle install parental controls on my devices?”
“... Maybe.”
Nightwing leaned on his friend’s shoulder. “Trust me, those filters are absolutely necessary. I have them on for every hero we know.”
“Wait, every… Us too?!”
“Dude, we’re hot, of course there are thirst edits of us.”
oh no the heroes are aware of us
Ofc they’re aware of us they don’t live under a rock
No, fandom is supposed to be hidden!
Parental controls?? Lmao
Nah bro the algorithm only shows you things you’re interested in so the fact that NW saw them…
Bro I like heroes coz they’re cool and the edits showed up on my fyp
Just coz you’re horny doesn’t me the rest of us are too
Yeah sometimes cool superhero videos just happen to also be thirst traps
^^^Me when i lie to myself and the entire internet
The screen glitched and turned black as a green snake slithered into view. It left green pixels behind, spelling the word ORACLE.
[You’ve had your fun.] were the last words on screen before the livestream came to an abrupt end.
Tenacious Freak @tennyfreak
Jokes on Oracle, I’ve already downloaded the livestream AND saved it to multiple hard drives. YOU CANNOT STOP ME FROM MAKING SEXY GIFS OF BATMAN IN WW’S SUIT
[This account has been terminated]
Tenacious Freak @tennyfreak23
YOU CANNOT STOP ME
[This account has been terminated]
Tenacious Freak @tennyfreak67
I WILL NOT BE SILENCED. MY COMPADRES SHALL SPREAD THE HOLY GOSPEL EVEN WITHOUT ME
[This account has been terminated]
Batman? More like My Man @Batstan
Bro none of the other thirsty accounts are getting deactivated. Just yours. I think they hate you in particular
“Damian, habibi, you cannot nuke the entire internet,” Bruce said, running a soothing hand up and down his youngest’s back.
“But Baba, they’re saying dishonourable things about you and spreading your image around!”
Damian tried to look menacing and frightening but the way he was snuggled up in Bruce’s lap was just too adorable. Bruce pressed kisses against his son’s face and tickled him. “Are you saying you’d rather waste time policing people than spend time with me?”
“No! No, Baba, I-” Damian’s face flushed red. “I love spending time with you.”
“Then forget those people and let's go to the park together.”
Damian huffed. “Fine. I’ll go get changed.”
Bruce smiled and ruffled Damian’s hair before leaving to change as well. As soon as Bruce left the room, his siblings descended upon him.
“Don’t worry, Baby Bat, you may not be able to get revenge on a bunch of internet strangers, but we do have someone who participated that you can relieve your anger on,” Dick soothed.
Damian looked excitedly at his siblings.
Tim grinned. “Hal Jordan.”