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Dean sat down on his bed and opened his testosterone kit with displeasure. He hated needles with passion and fear, but it needed to be done. The doctors had recommended he shots rather than the gel for reasons Dean could no longer remember. He took off his t-shirt and rubbed the spot he was going to stick the needle in with numbing cream. It didn't do much, but it made him feel better about it, and that was good enough for him right now. At least he now only had to take the shots once a month. So after this was done he didn't need to worry about it for another thirty one days.
Dean sighed. He was stalling; he really didn't want to do it. The needle went into the bottle of testosterone liquid and came out with the amount he was prescribed. As much as he wanted to get more, it wasn't worth it if his body reacted badly to it or something. It's not like they exactly had any doctors nearby.
Eventually, the needle went into his stomach and Dean winced. It was over now, but that didn't make it any better to him. Just as he pulled out the needle, his bedroom door - which was locked - opened, and Cas came in.
"Dean, I-" He stopped when he noticed what was happening. Well, to the extent of what he understood.
"Cas! Shit. That door was locked for a reason, man." Dean was startled. Cas didn't exactly know Dean was trans, and he wasn't planning on telling him anytime soon. That, of course, would have to change now, since the angel likely wouldn't just let it go.
"I am sorry, Dean." Cas said distractedly, looking at the syringe still in Dean's hand, and the opened bottle labelled testosterone next to him.
"It's alright, Cas." Slowly, as if that would make Cas not notice what he was doing, Dean put the now empty syringe in the box it came from, along with the bottle.
"What is happening?" He asked. "What is that?"
"It's none of your business, Cas." Dean snapped, making the angel flinch. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Cas. I wasn't really expecting to explain it to you right now. Or ever, for that matter." Cas watched him with curiousity, not judgement. Never judgement, with Cas. "I take testosterone shots." Dean said after a while.
Cas cocked his head to the side in that adorable way he did when he was confused. "Testosterone, the hormone?"
Dean nodded, not looking at Cas.
"I thought that human men naturally produced that as they reach a certain age."
"Most of them do." Dean said quietly. "But.... I'm transgender. Which means I was born a girl, and so I have to take these shots to get the testosterone that CIS men can produce normally."
"Oh." Was all Cas said.
"Is that it?" Dean was confused. "Not going to say some shit about how it's wrong, and that I'll go to hell, again? Or- or how God would hate me for this?"
"Why would I say that it is wrong? How you live your life shouldn't affect me, Dean. Also, who cares what he thinks?" Cas crouched down in front of Dean, so that he could make him look at the angel.
Dean shrugged.
"You humans and your limited concepts of gender." Cas said. Dean smiled. Oh how true that was.
"I guess you don't hate me, then?"
"Dean, I could never hate you. How could you ever think that?"
"So many people say that because of who I am angels, and god, and everyone else related to that would hate me."
"So many people already hate you," Cas so helpfully reminded the human. "But that has nothing to do with the fact that you are transgender. It's got everything to do with the fact that you are a hunter and have killed so many other angels."
"Gee, thanks, Cas." Dean said sarcastically. Cas smiled softly at him.
"Dean, I understand that was hard for you to tell me." He said. "And to that, I say, my view of you has not changed."
"And what view would that be?"
"One of love, and fondness." And then Cas was kissing Dean. He was caught off guard at first, not realising the angel felt like this about him, but then Dean was kissing Cas back.
Eventually, they pulled apart, and Dean said, "So you love me, huh?"
"Very much, yes."
"Well then. I love you too, Cas."
Cas smiled at the human with utter adoration. Dean looked back at him exactly the same way.
They were disgustingly adorable.
They had made their way under Dean's covers. Nothing sexual happened between them, it was just late and Dean wanted to go to sleep. With Cas. Dean was resting his head on Cas' chest. Neither of them had moved at all for a while, but then Cas noticed the top surgery scars Dean had on his chest. He began to rub his thumb across the thin red line, which made Dean jump.
"I am sorry, Dean. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable." Cas apologised.
"It's fine, Cas." Dean said absentmindedly.
"Do you want me to get rid of them?" He asked. At the question, Dean looked up at the angel with shock.
"You can do that?" The hope in his voice was heartbreaking.
"Of course I can. When I raised you from perdition, did you have any of your old scars? No, you did not. I can heal wounds; of course I can heal these scars. Do you want me to do it?"
"Yes." Dean whispered instantly. "Please."
Cas hovered his left hand over Dean's top surgery scars, and the two of them watched as they faded to nothing. Dean choked back a sob.
"What is wrong? Did you change your mind? Do you want me to bring them back?"
"No. No, everything's great. Thank you so much, Cas. I love you so much." Dean buried his head in the crook of Cas' neck and started crying happy tears.
"I love you too," Cas said. "And I am glad you're happy."
"Only when I'm with you, though." Dean's voice was muffled, but Cas heard it perfectly clear.
"If there's anything else I can do, you can tell me."
At those words, Dean's head popped up to look at Cas. "Anything?"
"Just tell me." Cas repeated.
"Can you, um. Can you make my body able to produce testosterone without having to take shots? I really hate needles, Cas."
"Of course. You likely won't actually notice a difference, but...." Cas put his right hand on Dean's chest and closed his eyes. Something definitely happened, but Dean couldn't be sure of what it was. "I did it." He whispered.
"Thank you." Dean snuggled into Cas more (if that was even possible) and fell asleep. Of course, Cas didn't often sleep since he was an angel, but that night he did, smiling happily since he was hugging the human he'd been pining over since they'd met.