Chapter Text
Melissa woke to the sound of waves breaking against the shore.
The gentle whisper of the sea. The salty scent drifting through the air. Waking up in the Caribbean felt like living in a paradise. Even if she still had to get ready for work, every morning felt like a dream. After years of searching, it seemed she had finally found peace.
How had Melissa ended up here?
It had been the best decision she had ever made. Taking that first step hadn't been easy. Telling her mother. Leaving behind everything she had ever known and embracing an uncertain future. But without a doubt, it had been worth it.
Convincing her mother had been difficult. Melissa was an only child. It had always been just the two of them. It wasn't the perfect mother-daughter relationship. They weren't best friends. But her mother had raised Melissa on her own, doing everything she could to give her a better life despite all the hardships they faced. She worked long hours, picked up extra shifts whenever she could, and sacrificed more than Melissa probably realized. Even if she couldn't spend much time with her daughter, she treasured the little moments they had together. Even if it was only the drive to school.
Yet Melissa needed to live.
She wanted to breathe. She wondered who she could become if she finally let herself change.
Most people would have called it childish. A seventeen-year-old girl deciding the course of her own future.
But Melissa had never doubted herself. Not once. She needed a change.
Melissa was an outcast. Practically invisible. The few people she ever interacted with only spoke to her because a teacher had assigned them to work together. Melissa never dared to speak first.
Whenever an opportunity appeared, or whenever she felt the urge to try something different, she always convinced herself not to. She simply watched.
And let life move forward without her.
She wasn't even a supporting character in her own story. She was background extra—the kind people barely notice before the camera moves on.
She'd had more than one chance to step outside her comfort zone. When she saw the announcement for the soccer team tryouts, she knew she was fast enough. She trained at home. Exercised every day. She even wrote the date of the tryouts in her iphone’s calendar.
But when the day finally came, she walked onto the field, saw all the other girls and froze. It wasn't like anyone would notice she was gone. If the team needed to win, she probably wouldn't even get called onto the field. She'd stay on the bench, watching everyone else play. And she walked away.
She let countless opportunities to make friends slip through her fingers. Maybe if she'd spoken a little more. If she'd forced herself to go to a few parties. If she'd joined a club.
But she never did.
And so, she reached her senior year of high school as nobody.
Melissa. The girl no one remembered.
And then came what Melissa would remember, as a miracle.
As she wandered through the school hallways, something on the bulletin board caught her eye. Volunteer Program. Coastal Cleanup in Vieques, Puerto Rico.
Melissa walked over to the flyer and began reading through the requirements. Students interested in biology, leadership, environmental sciences, and community service were encouraged to apply. After completing two months, participants would receive a letter of recommendation and the opportunity to continue volunteering in other parts of the island.
Flights, housing, and meals included.
Melissa looked up and down the hallway.
There had to be a catch.
This had to be some kind of joke.
She quickly took the flyer down before anyone else could read it. It looked too perfect. Too generous. Too good to be true. She folded it and buried it at the bottom of her backpack. It wasn't like anyone would notice it was gone.
That night, she lay on her bed, turning the flyer over in her hands.
Questions crowded her mind.
What if they didn't accept her? What if her mother refused to let her go? What about college? What if everything fell apart? What would happen to her life? What life? She didn't have one, she murmured to herself, reading the flyer over and over again. Yet, after all those years, she wasn't asking herself whether she should try.
She already knew the answer. She needed this.
And this was all the excuse she needed.
The next morning, Melissa rushed downstairs.
Her mother looked up from her coffee.
“Melissa? Are you okay? You look... happy.”
Melissa almost smiled.
It was heartbreaking to realize that her mom was the only one who could tell she looked different.
She had spent so long feeling numb that happiness looked unfamiliar on her face.
“Is it because I actually came downstairs to have breakfast with you?”
Her mother narrowed her eyes.
“What are you up to?”
Melissa took a slow breath.
“They're offering this volunteer program at school. I think it could help with college... maybe even open other doors for new opportunities”
Silence settled between them.
Melissa carefully placed the flyer on the table.
“Mom... please. I just want to do something different before college starts. Look at me. I haven't done anything that matters. Maybe this is my chance to help someone.”
Her mother picked up the flyer without saying a word.
Melissa took the silence as an answer. She went upstairs. Got dressed. She took a moment to steady her breathing before going back downstairs to face her mom.
The drive to school was quiet. It always was. But that morning, the silence felt heavier. With every passing minute, the tiny spark of hope she'd found the night before began to fade.
When they arrived, Melissa reached for the door.
“Bye, Mom.”
“Melissa.”
She turned around.
“Do you really want to go?”
Melissa nodded immediately.
“Yes. I've never asked you for something like this before. It's the first time I've ever...”
“Okay.”
Melissa blinked.
“What?”
“I said OKAY. I'll call the organization first and make sure everything checks out. But if it does... I think you should go.”
For a second, Melissa thought she'd imagined it.
She threw her arms around her mother before she could change her mind.
“I promise I'll be the best daughter ever. I'll do everything you ask until it's time for me to leave.”
A faint smile crossed her mother's face.
“We'll see. Now go. I'll see you after school.”
Melissa stepped out of the car feeling lighter than she had in years.
She walked differently that day.
And in what felt like forever, people seemed to notice her. Maybe it was only in her head. Or maybe hope had a strange way of finding someone who had spent her whole life feeling invisible and making her feel like she finally mattered.
That feeling carried her through the final weeks of high school.
She attended the volunteer orientation with her mother. While Melissa listened with quiet excitement, her mother asked every practical question she could think of. As the date drew closer, Melissa began packing days ahead of time, making sure she had everything she needed. Checked her documents over and over. There was only one condition. Her mom asked her to at least attend her graduation.
Melissa didn't want to. She had no friends to say goodbye to. She doubted any of her teachers would remember her name a few years later. But if graduation was the price she had to pay to leave, she'd pay it. So, she went. For the last time, she felt invisible in a room full of people. For the last time, she felt that familiar numbness. The difference was that something inside her had changed. A tiny spark. A fragile hope.
The quiet belief that maybe, just maybe, her life was finally about to become something else.
Melissa would never lie about that. When the day finally came she cried when she hugged her mother goodbye. She cried while waiting at the departure gate. She cried as the plane lifted into the sky and New Jersey slowly disappeared beneath the clouds. She cried for everything she was leaving behind. And for everything she had no idea she was about to find.
When the plane landed in Puerto Rico, the applause from excited passengers, their laughter, and the flashes of cameras were the first signs that this new world was different—in the best possible way.
Melissa made herself a promise. The girl who had boarded that flight would stay behind in New Jersey. She wasn't going to pretend anymore. She wasn't going to hide. She could finally be Melissa. Not the version others expected. The real one.
Melissa got off the plane and searched for her suitcase. A small one. A symbol that she had left her past behind and that things would be different now.
A coordinator from the university's volunteer program met her at the airport. The coordinator greeted her, guided her toward the bus, and explained that they would stop for lunch before heading to the ferry that would take them to Vieques.
When Melissa climbed aboard, she realized several students were already there. More kept arriving every few minutes. She chose a seat by the window near the middle of the bus. The kind of seat where people usually went unnoticed. A few minutes later, a dark-haired girl stepped aboard and dropped into the empty seat beside her.
She smiled.
“Hi. I'm Gen.”
Melissa smiled back almost immediately.
“Melissa.”
Then something unexpected happened.
Gen talked as if they'd been friends forever. About the ocean. Sea turtles. Coral reefs. College. Everything she wanted to do with her life.
Melissa realized that not everyone had come to Puerto Rico trying to run away from something.
Gen was there because she genuinely loved biology. She wanted to become a marine biologist and had even applied to a university in Puerto Rico. Her parents hadn't made the decision easy, but eventually they had agreed.
Melissa listened the entire ride. And, this was the first time in years, she realized this could be the beginning of a friendship.
The next person she met was Van.
During their first stop, while everyone sat around eating lunch, Van joined Gen and Melissa at the table, pulled a lighter from her pocket, and gave them a mischievous smile.
“You smoke?”
Melissa shook her head.
“Never.”
Van laughed.
"There's a first time for everything."
Melissa laughed too. She had no idea where Van had found marijuana after only being there for a few hours, but she agreed anyway. This was a new Melissa. And somehow, between sharing a blunt and talking about everything and nothing, the conversation lasted longer than the high ever did. It felt strange. In less than a day, she'd spoken to more people than she had during most of high school. Without even realizing it, Gen and Van became her first friends.
The first week wasn't easy. The heat was relentless. The humidity clung to everything. By the end of each day, Melissa was exhausted. Even though they were working, cleaning was an important job, but it was far from easy. But little by little, she fell in love with the sun. The ocean and the salt in the air. She loved the work they were doing.
Every beach they cleaned made her feel as though she was slowly clearing something inside herself too.
When the workday ended, Melissa, Gen, and Van went looking for little adventures, hidden beaches, quiet trails, places that didn't exist on any tourist map.
Melissa learned how to surf. Bought her own board.
On weekends she explored the coastline with a scuba group and eventually earned her diving certification while living on the island. At night they returned to the large house where all the volunteers stayed. Melissa shared a room with Gen and Van.
The three of them stayed awake talking until sleep finally claimed them.
Without realizing it, Melissa was building something she'd never had before.
A place where she finally felt like she belonged.
Time passed too quickly.
So quickly that one morning Melissa found herself stepping onto a ferry again.
The same route back. The same destination. The airport.
But something inside her refused to leave. In fact, Melissa never confirmed her flight.
That night, she called her mother.
She begged.
“Mom… I’m not coming back.”
“Melissa, what do you mean? I’m supposed to pick you up from the airport in a few hours.”
“I’m not getting on the flight. Just a few more weeks. Please…”
And the silence on the other end was all the answer she needed.
She needed to stay a little longer.
Because, for once in her life, she had found a place where she didn't feel like she was just surviving.
She felt alive.
When she arrived at the airport, she realized she wasn't the only one who couldn't leave paradise behind.
It was like the island held some kind of magic, the kind that made people feel like they could become someone new.
Melissa and Van looked at each other. And they both knew.
There was nothing to discuss. They were staying.
Gen had a different plan.
She would find an apartment nearby before starting college. Then she would return for the rest of her belongings.
So, Melissa and Van joined her in that new adventure.
They found a small apartment. Nothing fancy. But perfect. It was in a central area. Minutes away from the university. And close enough to the beach.
For Melissa, that was everything.
The plan was simple. Melissa and Van would find jobs. Gen would do the same when she came back.
Except during those first few days, Melissa and Van weren't really looking for work. They always had an excuse. They just wanted to explore. See if the nearest beach was good. Try restaurants. Walk around without anywhere to be. They went out dancing, drinking, and smoking like there was no tomorrow. Experience a life they had never had.
In two months and one week, Melissa felt like she had lived more than she had during all her years before.
And even though they were technically living there, it wasn't until Gen returned that they finally started seriously looking for jobs. Because they were spending all their savings on partying.
Van even began considering applying to college.
The idea caught Melissa's attention too.
It tempted her.
She found herself wondering if applying to college wouldn't be such a bad thing after all.
But maybe taking a year before college wasn't the worst idea.
But after Gen's endless threats that if they didn't find a way to pay rent, she would get new roommates, Melissa and Van finally started searching. Because they were spending all their savings on partying. Which meant they really needed to get jobs.
It happened on an ordinary afternoon.
Melissa was walking along the beach with no real destination when she accidentally wandered into a hotel lobby.
It was one of those hotels built right along the ocean. Maybe it was the kind of construction that upset local communities, and maybe it wasn't entirely right, but somehow, it still felt different.
The moment she stepped inside, she stopped. The marble floors. The polished walls. The massive plants filling the space. It looked like a hidden tropical forest inside a building. A place that shouldn't exist.
Then she heard someone clear their throat.
Melissa froze.
Someone behind the front desk looked at her curiously.
“Are you a guest?”
Melissa immediately reacted.
With the Spanish she had learned in two months—more than she had ever learned in school—she answered:
“No. Vivo aqui cerca.” It was supposed to sound more like, "I live in the area. I was just stopping by.
The person looked confused.
"Well... then you'll have to leave."
Melissa had learned something during those months.
To dare.
To speak before overthinking every word.
So even though what she really wanted to ask was whether they had any positions available, the words came out before she could stop them.
“Are you hiring?”
The person behind the counter looked her up and down.
And Melissa did the same.
Of course.
She wasn't exactly dressed like someone looking for a job.
She was wearing pool shorts, a top, an open shirt over it, and a hat.
She went quiet for a second.
“Oh... maybe I should have come another day. Better dressed.” She mumbled it more to herself than to the other person.
The girl watched her for a few seconds before giving a small smile.
“I think we might have a few positions available. Wait here.”
Melissa felt a small victory.
She used those minutes to pull out her phone and look for other job opportunities in the area. Because even though this place felt perfect, if they rejected her, she needed to find something else. But it had to be close to the ocean.
She didn't want to be far from that.
The girl came back holding a piece of paper and handed it to her.
Melissa took it and immediately frowned.
“Oh... this is in Spanish. I only know how to speak it a little.”
The girl took the paper back, turned it around, and showed her.
Of course.
It was written in both languages.
Melissa felt a little embarrassed.
“I’m Mari, by the way.”
“Melissa.”
Mari crossed her arms.
“I think I deserve at least a thank you.”
Melissa smiled.
“Thank you. Sorry… Gracias. Really.”
She looked back at the paper. They were looking for lifeguards, housekeeping staff, servers. Even other positions.
Melissa would apply for anything. Anything that meant staying.
The moment she left the hotel, she called Van. She had news.
The next day, they came back together wearing the best clothes they had. It wasn't like they needed an impressive resumé or CV. They didn't have years of experience. But they had determination. And apparently, that was enough. They both got hired.
The first few weeks were perfect. Melissa became a lifeguard.
Some days she worked by the pool. Other days she was assigned to watch the beach.
And she loved her uniform. Red shorts, white shirt, a hat and whistle hanging around her neck.
It felt like she had found a way to spend every day at the beach and somehow get paid for it. It was exactly where she wanted to be.
Of course, there were difficult days too. Days when she ended up soaked because some irresponsible parent left their children alone in the pool. Or days when she finished with sand in her shoes because she had to walk the entire beach doing rounds. Or when she ended up with a sunburn because she forgot to put on sunscreen. But even those days still felt better than any day she had ever spent in New Jersey.
Meanwhile, Gen worked nights at the restaurant as a server. During the day, she would study not only to prepare for when classes began, but also to get used to the routine. The schedule worked perfectly for her.
Van, although she refused at first, eventually had to accept that her permanent vacation lifestyle couldn't last forever. She ended up working in housekeeping. And, to everyone's surprise, less than a week later she was begging to be moved to. Van, of course, had a different idea. She wanted to work at the bar. The problem was that she wasn't twenty-one yet.
Then she tried applying for the pool area, but they required experience. So, she ended up becoming a server by the pool.
And even though she complained at first, she eventually admitted it wasn't that bad.
Especially because she spent her days surrounded by the same thing that had brought them there.
The ocean and women.
Melissa, meanwhile, quickly joined the lifeguard team. She had taken advantage of her time on the island to get certified in scuba diving and snorkeling.
But there was something the others didn't know. When she was a teenager, she had started working as a lifeguard during the summers camps to help at home. That's where she gained experience. She became CPR certified. And every summer, she returned to that job.
She had never thought it was anything special.
Until now.
Now that small piece of her past was exactly what allowed her to stay.
Melissa was living what felt like the best time of her life. But even dreams have an expiration date. And hers arrived when summer ended.
That same day, her mother called.
Melissa looked at her phone several times throughout the day. She saw her mother's name on the screen. But she didn't answer.
Until, that night, her mother called one final time.
And Melissa picked up.
“Mom...”
Silence followed.
“I'm not coming back.”
“Melissa?”
Her mother's voice changed.
It wasn't anger.
It was fear.
“Mom, just give me a little more time. A year. Please. I'm working. I'm saving money. I'm doing things I actually love. And maybe... maybe I'll apply to college here.”
Another silence.
“Melissa... what happened to your application to Brown? Your goals?”
Melissa looked down.
“Mom, I only wanted to make you happy. I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me. For every sacrifice you've made.”
She took a breath.
“But here... here I am the happiest I've ever been.”
“When will I see you again?”
Her voice softened.
“I swear I'm okay. I have friends. I have a job. I have a life.”
“One year, Melissa?”
She closed her eyes.
“Yes, Mom. One year. I promise.”
And so, Melissa stayed.
Time kept moving. The seasons changed, but one thing remained. She could always go to the ocean.She could always feel the sun. She could always remember that she had chosen this.
Her Spanish improved too. She could finally hold conversations without searching for every word.
Van made progress as well. After getting certified, she started taking some lifeguard shifts. Although most of the time she still worked around the pool: cleaning, organizing towels, and helping wherever she was needed.
But a few hours a week, she wore the whistle around her neck.
And that was enough.
Gen had started college. She was fascinated. In a way, she was always trying to convince Van and Melissa to come with her to campus. Maybe because she wanted to share that part of her life. Or maybe because she hoped they would fall in love with the idea too.
When the holiday season arrived, something changed inside Melissa.
Nostalgia slowly found her. She missed her mother. She missed the little things. She even considered asking her mother to visit.
But Melissa knew something. If she went back before completing that year. Maybe she wouldn't return.
And for the first time in a long, long, long time, she didn't want to lose what she had found. The only thing that hadn't changed was her love life.
Melissa had never dated anyone.
She was embarrassed to admit it.
Her only kiss had been in kindergarten.
But Melissa looked at Van and couldn't help wondering how she made it seem so easy.
That was the other problem. It was obvious from the way she dressed, the confidence in the way she carried herself, and the little femininity she showed, that Melissa was a butch lesbian. But that didn't mean everything came easily.
Actually, it was the part she struggled with the most. And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't change that.
It wasn't until after several attempts that Van finally managed to drag her out and convince her to talk to girls. Van was her wingwoman.
While she flirted with one of the girls, she would find her friends and then somehow create an opportunity for Melissa to talk to them.
“Talk to her.”
“Melissa, she's literally looking at you.”
“Just say hi.”
Other times, it happened at work. Van would tell her there was nothing wrong with looking.
She even gave her strategies. Bring her a towel. Ask if she needed anything. Use the excuse that she was just making sure she was okay because Melissa was a lifeguard.
For Van, it wasn't complicated. She had flirted with women in their forties without any hesitation.
Gen, on the other hand, had a crush on a guy from her biology class.
But Melissa... No matter how much she tried, she just couldn't. That didn't mean nothing had ever happened. She had been able to kiss a girl. She had been able to flirt. But actually, liking someone, having a crush, feeling something deeper, that was different. That was the part she couldn't understand. Or at least, that's what Melissa thought.
Until Christmas's week arrived.
For Melissa, working wasn't a problem. It was her first year there. She was going to be away from her mother during the holidays, and maybe a part of her needed to see her.
But at the same time, maybe she needed to stay busy. To distract herself.
During Christmas, Melissa was still working at the pool.
That morning, she walked to her lifeguard station and opened the pool area like she always did. Everything was normal.
Until, she saw a group of girls quickly walk past the pool chairs. They dropped their bags. Adjusted their towels. And laid down to soak up the sun.
Melissa wasn't someone who stared.
She never had been. But she couldn't help noticing one of them. Especially when the rest of the group got up to order drinks. At nine in the morning.
Yes. Nine. Melissa actually had to look at the clock to make sure.
One of them stayed behind, sitting alone.
A dark brunette sat by the pool, wearing a black swimsuit and loose white beach pants. Sunglasses covered her eyes as she held a book in her hands, completely absorbed in what she was reading.
When her friends walked away, she took off the pants and settled back in the sun, wearing only her swimsuit.
As she turned the pages, Melissa caught herself looking away and then looking back again. If it wasn't for the dark sunglasses, she was sure the girl would have noticed.
Luckily, she didn't. The girl never looked up. Never saw her.
But it was different.
She was the first girl who had ever truly caught Melissa's attention.