Chapter Text
Robin was nine years old the first time she heard the name Steve Harrington.
She was in a terrible mood when she came back home from school, throwing her backpack in the entryway instead of putting it upstairs in her room. She sat down at the kitchen table, and it only took her mom one look at her dejected face before taking out the emergency snacks and a glass of juice.
“Oh, sweetie, what’s wrong?” her mom asked.
“It’s Mary. She doesn’t want to hang out with me this weekend because she’s going to eat milkshakes with stupid Mark. He’s her boyfriend now, and she doesn’t have time for me anymore.” She grumbled.
Her mom froze for a few seconds, her mouth open, before: “She already has a boyfriend? That’s…early. You don’t have one, my little bird, don’t you?”
Robin cringed. Boys were disgusting. What would she even do with a boyfriend?
“No! I don’t have a boyfriend, they’re dumb and noisy, and they take all of your friends’ free time and then you can’t even go to the pool with your best friend because a stupid boy is more important than you. I don’t want one.”
Her mom smiled.
“That’s okay, you don’t need to have a boyfriend just yet. Take your time, it’s a grown-up thing anyway.”
Robin glared at her mom.
“I’m never getting a boyfriend, Mom.”
“Sure, sweetie.”
“And the worse thing is that Mary said that at recess in front of everyone, and then Tina said she has a boyfriend too, but he goes to another school. So I told her it was stupid, because they’re only one elementary in Hawkins, and where does her imaginary boyfriend lives, Indianapolis? And she said he was a year older, and already in middle school. Which is such a lie, because no one in middle school would want to hang out with any of us. They’re all full of shit like that.”
“Robin, language. Wait, what did you just say?”
“Middle schoolers don’t want to hang out with us?”
“No, the other thing. That Tina girl is dating a middle schooler?”
“Well, that’s what she’s saying to everyone. I’ve never seen them together.”
Her mom was silent for a few seconds, staring at her with a weird look on her face. Robin wiggled on her seat, uncomfortable.
“You really don’t have a boyfriend, baby?” Robin shook her head. “Good. Listen, I understand you think boys are a bit gross right now, but you’ll change your mind pretty soon.”
“But…”
“Let me finish, please. I’ve been in your shoes, baby. One day you’ll meet a boy, and you will think, ‘Oh, not all boys are gross! I want this one!’ and that’s okay! That’s how life goes. But sometimes we have to work with some additional rules, some that are pretty obvious, and others that may seem a bit… arbitrary.”
It didn’t make a lick of sense and Robin was totally lost. Still, she shook her head, hoping her mom was going to finally say something logical.
“There is a boy in particular… He’s a few months older than you, but he’s already in middle school, like Tina’s boyfriend.”
“Tina’s imaginary boyfriend.”
“Like Tina’s imaginary boyfriend, yes. Well, that boy… His name is Steve Harrington. And you can’t date him. Ever.”
“I don’t care about that stupid boy!”
“Good, good. But can you promise me you won’t try to date him when you’re older and boys starts being interesting?”
Robin sighed.
“Okay, Mom, I promise. Can I have another cookie, now?”
She patted her hair and laughed when Robin complained.
“Of course, baby. Anything you want.”
It took Robin a few years to ask why she couldn’t date Steve Harrington. She had almost forgotten about the boy, his name lost in a blur of boys are gross and undatable, forever. She must have passed him by in the hallways in middle school a thousand times without really paying attention.
Then, she started high school.
And she suddenly realized that not a single other girl in Hawkins had ever heard their mom say the words, “You can’t date Steve Harrington.”
And, God, did they act like it.
Her freshman year marked the beginning of her one-sided hatred for Steve “the Hair” Harrington.
It all started, of course, with Tammy Thompson.
Robin had been playing the trumpet since she was ten, and decided to join band. It was fun: she had people to talk about music with, and with whom she could eat lunch now that Barb wasn’t hanging out with her anymore.
Most importantly, band had Tammy Thompson. Tammy, with her lovely chestnut hair, her big blue eyes, and her dreams of becoming a famous singer. She was a year older than her, and popular when Robin was just another face in the crowded hallways. And now, Robin was spending all her band time mooning over her, trying desperately to find the courage to talk to her. She was almost ready. She would confess her love to Tammy, who would be flattered and tell her she had always found Robin cute. They would secretly date, then Robin would follow Tammy to Nashville, and help her realize her dreams. It was the perfect plan. Already she was doodling little heart on her partitions, and going as far as writing “Mrs. Robin Thompson” in her diary.
Then she heard Tammy Thompson whining to Tina that Steve Harrington didn’t seem to see she was flirting with him.
And all of Robin’s plans crashed down.
She found herself in history class, ignoring Mrs. Click, glaring at the head right in front of her. At the stupid fluffy hair that was taunting her, screaming, “look, I have everything you ever wanted, but I don’t even care.”
She wanted to set it on fire. See if Tammy Thompson would still like Harrington’s stupid face if he was bald.
The guy was a total idiot who didn’t seem to care enough to listen to the teacher, answered systematically wrong when she asked him a question, and ate his bagels like a savage. She sat behind him, each week, daydreaming about the acrid smell of burned hair, Harrington’s horrified screams, and Tammy turning away from the now bald jock. And all the while, that asshole munched noisily at his bagel, throwing crumbles everywhere.
One day, three weeks after she had eavesdrop… heard Tammy talk about Harrington, she lost her favorite pen, and rummaged through her bag, hoping against all odds it had just fallen at the bottom of it.
She didn’t find her pen. No.
Instead, she found crumbles. Bagel crumbles. Steve Harrington’s bagel crumbles, because that gross boy was a damn barbarian who couldn’t even eat properly.
And that was when she remembered her mom’s words.
His name is Steve Harrington. And you can’t date him. Ever.
Robin sat down on the floor, pen forgotten. What could have driven her mom to forbid her from dating that specific boy? What did she know that Robin, and all the other girls in Hawkins ignored?
More importantly, was it something shameful enough to destroy all the attraction Tammy had for Harrington?
She had to know, right this moment. It was maybe her only chance with her crush. If it was something really repulsive, Tammy would be horrified, so ashamed she had even thought about dating stupid Harrington, and Robin would sweep in and console her. One thing would lead to another, and ta-da! She would get a girlfriend.
Robin glanced at her alarm clock and jumped on her feet. Her mom would be home soon, and Robin would have to extract the truth from her by any means. She had done very well at her last exam and had kept it in her sleeve for occasions like this one; it would be a useful tool to put her mom in her good graces. And once she had buttered her up, she would question her, and get all the information she needed to get her dream girl away from that douchebag.
Her plan was perfect.
Robin had tons of problems in life, but at least her parents were always proud of her. Consequently, her good grade brought a smile on her mom’s face, and she immediately praised her good work. She was on the right track. She just had to ask.
“Mom, can I ask you something?”
“Of course, Love. What is it?”
She took a deep breathe. “You remember that time you told me I couldn’t date Steve Harrington?”
Robin’s mom froze, visibly panicked.
“I… I remember, yes. You… Nothing is happening, right?”
Her face was pale. Clearly, whatever Steve had done to provoke such reaction had to be horrible. Terrible. Ignominious.
She couldn’t wait to make him fall from his pedestal.
“With Harrington? Pfff. He’s a stupid peacock. A really dumb one. He’s like, really not my style. If I was stuck in a deserted island with him, I would roast him over a fire and marry a turtle instead.”
Her mom let out a weak laugh.
“I like your plan, love. Maybe keep cannibalism out of it?”
“Why? Is he horribly diseased?”
Diseased. The thought hit her like a brick. Shit. Maybe Steve had somehow caught the illness that was spreading through gay people. It couldn’t affect only people like her, it had to infect straight people from time to time, too. What would she do if that was the reason why her mom was so against Steve Harrington? She couldn’t…
“No!” He mom laugh was more genuine, this time. “No, nothing of the sort.”
Robin releases a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. Good. It would have been… It would have been bad if Harrington’s big secret was something like that. She couldn’t have told everyone about it, not without feeling like the scum of the earth. And she hated the guy, but she didn’t want him dead. Bald and single for life, yes, but not dead.
“So, why don’t you want me to… date him?”
“Baby…” Her Mom’s face was doing something complicated, and she was clearly looking for an out. Robin couldn’t let her find one.
“Mom, it’s killing me! I’ve been thinking about it non-stop for days!” She tried to make her eyes bigger. Maybe she could puppy-eyes her mom into telling her the truth. “Please, I need to know!”
Her mom’s resolve crumbled.
“Alright. Wait a minute, I’ll make hot cocoa.”
Robin watched with trepidation as her mom slowly made their drinks, the good way, not with cocoa powder but with real chocolate, and marshmallows on top. It was not a usual drink; it was the kind of thing her mom made when something bad had happened. She was a strong believer in making bad news easier with a sweet treat, but Robin had learned after years of watching her that the process was also meant to sooth her mother’s nerves.
When the hot chocolate was ready, she let her mom lead her to the couch, and they sat down.
“You know I love you, baby, right?” The tension in her voice made Robin tense too in response.
Still, she nodded. “I love you too, Mom.”
“You know your dad also loves you? You’re the light of our life.”
Robin was starting to lose the plot, here. What did her parent’s love had to do with Douchebag Harrington?
She watched as her mom took a trembling sip of her drink, before putting it down and taking Robin’s hand in hers.
What was happening.
“When I was young, just after I graduated, I wanted to become a lawyer. And during that time, I got an internship at a law firm in Indianapolis, Miller & Associates. That’s where I met Richard Harrington.”
Robin’s throat suddenly felt too tight.
“There was that work party, it was the first one I was invited to, and I was nervous to attend. I may have drunk a bit too much to deal with my anxiety. And then there was Richard. He was so nice to me…” Her Mom grimaced, looking a bit ashamed. “He made me laugh when before I just wanted to hide from all the important people around the room.”
Robin had always loved puzzles. When she was young, she could spend hours on the big ones, those with thousands of pieces meant for older kids, and always resolved the small ones in record time. She had been good with patterns, and she still was.
She didn’t like this one.
“You have to understand, baby, I was young, and a bit stupid, and I didn’t know he was married, with a baby on the way.”
She was starting to wish she hadn’t opened her mouth, for once. She could deal with Tammy Thompson loving someone else. Anything but…
“I wasn’t very careful. And I fell pregnant.”
Anything but that.
“I told Richard, and he was furious. He wanted me to get an abortion.” Her mom’s hands tightened around hers, and Robin squeezed back. I love you, it meant; I’m here. “But I couldn’t, baby. I already loved you so much.”
Her mother stayed silent for a moment, still holding her hands like a lifeline. It was strange; Robin could feel her tight grip, but the rest of the room felt almost unreal. The world was made of cotton, and nothing around had substance anymore.
Nothing except her Mom holding her hands.
“Somehow, Mr. Miller found out, and he fired me. Which is understandable, considering I had slept with his son-in-law.” Robin winced. Oh yes. That was bad.
“The first trimester was difficult, I think it was mostly the stress of everything that happened, between Richard being an ass and me getting fired, and worrying about the future. I fainted once, and I ended up in the hospital. I was fine almost immediately, but they wanted to do some tests, and I found myself in the waiting room, sitting right beside that sweet guy who had cut himself pretty badly trying to saw a couple of shelves.”And she already knew that part, the sweet guy a bit too clumsy with a saw her Mom had fallen in love with. There were just a few missing pieces she hadn’t known to look for. “We sat there for hours, and when they finally called him so he could be stitched up, he left me his number. And the rest is history.”
Robin’s eyes were burning something fierce.
“Did he know…” her voice died down.
“That I was pregnant?” Her mom gave her a sad smile. “Yes, baby, he knew. He told me it didn’t matter if I was expecting already, because I had bewitched him, his words, and he was ready for it if I was. And once you were born, he could barely bear to be in a different room than you for days. When he had to go back to work he was a mess, babbling about your tiny fingers and your tiny nose, and your tiny everything. Your grandmother always joked that he was the one who got hormonal after birth, not me. Your dad has loved you from the very start, honey.”
“But he’s not…” Once again her voice betrayed her. Saying the words was simply too hard right now.
Her mom sighed, and wrapped her arms around her.
“No. He’s not your biological father.”
“So Steve Harrington is…”
“Yes, Robin. He’s your half-brother.”
