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HUGs From Enjin

Summary:

Rudo wasn't sure when his hands began to throb, but it had become enough to pull him out of his thoughts, looking down at the appendages. He winced, though it was more in annoyance at his arms than it was due to the pain. He flexed his fingers, tightening his hands into loose fists before releasing them with a heavy exhale. If he didn't find a distraction soon, he was going to be dealing with an entirely different kind of problem. One that he couldn't fix on his own. That's when he heard a loud laugh fill the halls, filtering through the door. By the time it reached his ears it was muffled and barely audible, but there was no mistaking where it came from. Enjin.

~-~-~- Or -~-~-~

Bittersweet thoughts cause Rudo to have an epiphany and lead to him wanting to initiate a hug with Enjin.

Work Text:

The day was rather slow for the Cleaners that remained at headquarters. Quite a few teams were sent out on missions, though team Akuta and team Child weren't ones who were dispatched. They were free to spend their free time how they wished, spreading out and using their freedoms for various things. It was somewhere around noon when Enjin, Gris, and Bro were in the lunch room, having just finished their lunch. They were discussing plans to play some card game later when Rudo made his first appearance of the day.

Riyo had decided to sleep in, having not much else planned, and loving the idea of waking up when her body decided to. When she got up, she had chosen to wander the halls, checking on the cleaners that were spread throughout the building. Zanka on the other hand had woken up early, taking to the training room to hone his skills with his Lovely Assistaff. Of course, he also focused on training his own body, keeping up with his physique. A mediocrity like him can't afford to slack off.

Rudo, however, was struggling with his day off. It had been a little while since he had been taken to a nearby pile to go treasure hunting, and he was running out of items to fix up. His hands were beginning to ache as he worked on the two items he had, most likely due to the knowledge that after he finished with these, there would be nothing but his own thoughts. Thoughts he wanted to avoid at all costs. Thoughts that he knew would cause him to spiral and lose his sense of self. If only he had more things to fix. Or maybe an emergency mission would be given to team Akuta. But this was the unfortunate reality.

He finished with the items, standing up and picking them up, walking across the room and placing them gently on his desk along with the other fixed treasures. It really made the room more lively to him. So much more full of color and soul. Seeing the various objects organized throughout his room as he admired them brought an unwanted, though not fully unpleasant thought to his mind. Of course it was a happy comparison, but one plagued by a deep abyss of despair. It reminded him of his and Regto's shack.

Once Rudo started fixing things, Regto allowed him to decorate with them, deciding the best places for them to be. Occasionally Regto would proudly take an item that Rudo fixed up as much as he could, but couldn't get it to work quite right, holding it up to the light to inspect it better. Rudo would frown as if he failed, shamefully looking at the ground as he awaited the seemingly inevitable “It's broken. Toss it.” But of course, that was only Rudo’s fears speaking to him. Instead, every time without fail Regto would smile widely and pat Rudo on the head with a serious but proud “I know just the place for this.” He would then place it in a spot where it'd be on display, turning to face the young Rudo who would always say “but I wasn't able to fix it…” Regto's response was always somewhere along the lines of “Just because it can't be completely fixed doesn’t mean it's not worthy of being loved. You tried your best and put in the work, I'd say that's enough to be proud of.”

Back in his room, Rudo's lip was quivering, not sure what expression he wanted to make. He liked the warm feeling he got in his chest when he thought of his dad and the happy memories shared with him, but remembering Regto meant remembering what he had lost. No, what had been brutally ripped away from him. He wasn't sure what label belonged on this sort of memory, but Rudo didn’t necessarily like labels anyway. He missed everything about his dad in such a deep, physical way. He missed the way he smiled, so full of pride and joy, an expression Rudo was never able to replicate no matter how hard he tried. He missed the way Regto would take a deep breath, sighing when Rudo did something wrong or got into trouble, yet he was always understanding and took the time to help Rudo through the issue. He missed the random hugs, pats, and ruffling of his hair, even if Rudo tried to act like it annoyed him. He even missed the way Regto would tease him about things, laughing and joking about Rudo's mistakes or anxieties.

He wanted so badly to be able to see him again. To see that smile and hear that laugh, but that was never going to be his reality. Regto was gone, even if he refused to fully admit it. He just wanted to show his respect and love for the only family member he had on the Sphere, and maybe this time he'd hug him first. Of course, that was impossible, but he could imagine himself hugging his dad as if nothing bad ever happened. To create a reality in his mind where Regto was still there and Rudo was never thrown away.

Rudo wasn't sure when his hands began to throb, but it had become enough to pull him out of his thoughts, looking down at the appendages. He winced, though it was more in annoyance at his arms than it was due to the pain. He flexed his fingers, tightening his hands into loose fists before releasing them with a heavy exhale. If he didn't find a distraction soon, he was going to be dealing with an entirely different kind of problem. One that he couldn't fix on his own. That's when he heard a loud laugh fill the halls, filtering through the door. By the time it reached his ears it was muffled and barely audible, but there was no mistaking where it came from. Enjin.

The thoughts of Regto were still fresh on the Spherite's mind, and he couldn't help but make an involuntary comparison between Regto and Enjin. But the comparisons didn't stop at just a laugh. There were quite a few things that Enjin did that reminded Rudo of his dad, and they were floating around his head, putting embarrassing ideas into his mind. While Regto would chuckle at Rudo with a softer smile, Enjin would full on burst with laughter, often accompanied by tears, but they both brought the same familiar emotions. They both seemed to be equally touchy people, Rudo being pulled into a random side hug or having his hair messed with somewhat often. And they both had that same look of pride when Rudo accomplished something. Not to mention they both had no issues getting onto him when he did something wrong, but still patiently explaining it in a way that makes him understand.

Enjin would never be able to replace Regto, but Rudo never wanted that in the first place. However, maybe Enjin could be allowed the same title that Regto had, and be just as important to Rudo. Maybe this time he could try and do the things he regretted not doing with Regto… like initiating a hug. As if on cue, Rudo’s hands panged with a familiar sharp sensation, reminding him that he needed to do something, and do it soon. He groaned at the feeling, glaring down at his hands as if they interrupted him on purpose.

Before he even had time to think, his body was moving on its own, heading straight for the door to the hallway. He felt like he had only blinked before his gloved hand was on the door, wincing as he turned the handle and stepped out into the hall. The kid shut the door behind him, not allowing himself any more time to think before he continued towards where he knew Enjin would be.

He entered the doorway of the cafeteria, the doors already being opened thankfully, as his hands started stinging. Any more pressure on them would cause him to rethink his barely thought out plan. He spotted Enjin across the room talking to Gris and Bro, but Rudo couldn't make out the details. Bro had noticed the young teen, gesturing towards him with his head, saying something that caused Enjin to glance behind him with a small nod of acknowledgement. Rudo had caught his breath in his throat, his heart pounding more than before. He had never initiated a hug before, none that he could remember anyway. Though if there was one word to describe Rudo, it would be stubborn. He wasn't about to give up just because he was noticed.

He forced his body to move, Enjin having turned around already, continuing their conversation from before. The small teen managed to make his way up to the Cleaner, standing slightly off to the side, facing him, staring down at the ground with wide debating eyes. “Yes, Kiddo?” Enjin had paused his conversation as he questioned the kid. The others had also gone quiet, curious what Rudo wanted, but also aware that he was struggling to ask for reasons unknown. Rudo's fingers twitched in pain as he thought about what he was supposed to do. When they hugged him they always pulled him in by the shoulders, but Enjin was too tall, and that would be uncomfortable. He couldn't pull him in by the waist because that just seemed weird, and his hands didn't seem to want to work quite right at the moment. The idea of asking was also completely out of the question, he wasn't sure he could speak if he wanted to.

Suddenly, as if he had an idea of what he needed to do, Rudo got closer to Enjin, leaning over slightly and gently placing his forehead against the lower section of the older man's chest, almost on his stomach. His hands dangled between them, unsure what he should do about the appendages. Enjin blinked down at the boy for a moment, slightly confused about what it meant before Bro spoke up with a soft, understanding tone. “He wants a hug, but can't ask. Dear does the same thing sometimes.” Enjin chuckled as it was explained, placing one hand on top of Rudo's head, ruffling his hair as the other hand rested on his back, pulling him closer to complete the hug. Rudo only grumbled in response, adjusting his head to be more comfortable.

Enjin stood there and held Rudo for a bit, continuing the conversation from earlier, mindlessly petting the kid's hair. They had finished discussing when and where they were going to play their next card game, as well as what the stakes would be. Rudo had heard them mention ‘the kids’, the three of them deciding on setting up a so-called ‘play date' so they could keep each other company. Rudo was pretty sure he didn't need anything like that, besides, he could just do something in his room or wander around the headquarters while Enjin hung out with the other adults. As the conversation came to an end, Rudo felt his heart rate increase in anticipation, wondering if they would shift towards the topic of him. With his increased heart rate, his hands started to pulsate painfully, though he was mostly able to ignore it.

“So, feeling extra affectionate today, bud?” Enjin had questioned him, petting his hair a little more attentively. Bro chimed in with a surprisingly helpful “If you can't answer out loud you can tap your foot once for yes and two for no.” Rudo only stared down at the ground for a moment, trying to figure out his answer before tapping his foot once. Enjin hummed, pulling him closer as he asked the next question. “Something bothering you?” Rudo made a choked sound as he wasn't expecting the nail to be hit on the head so quickly, hiding his face a bit more into Enjin as he tapped his foot a single time. Gris was leaning against the wall, a slight smile on his face as he watched the two, glad that Rudo had someone he could go to for things like this. He also knew that sometimes it was better as a private conversation. He spoke up with a gentle suggestion. “If you'd like Bro and I to leave so you can talk to Enjin, we will.” Surprisingly, upon hearing this, Rudo tapped his foot twice almost instantly.

He didn't want them to go somewhere else just because of him. If they wanted to stay they could, and if they wanted to leave, they were free to. He also didn't want to force Enjin to give him this attention, even if it was what he needed and wanted at the moment. “Lemme guess, you don't want to be the one to make a decision for anyone else?” Rudo stopped breathing for a second, shocked at Enjin calling him out again. How was he doing that? Was he reading his mind? Was he somehow speaking all of his thoughts out loud despite his lips feeling glued shut? Was he- “Rudo, I know you. You don't like telling others what they should do…”

Enjin took a deep breath, thinking about how to go about this in the best way, humming when he got his internal answer. “How about this? We can go to my room to have a more private talk, or we can stay here and talk like this. One for room, two for here.. I mean unless you're willing to reply out loud. Either is fine. I am pretty good at asking questions.” He chuckled at the end, Bro and Gris chuckling as well, agreeing. Rudo sighed as he thought, debating the different outcomes. His original goal was to just initiate a hug with his father figure, but Enjin seemed to want to talk about what he was feeling. Regto used to do the same thing in the past. Whenever Rudo would go quiet, focusing on working on his found treasures near the other, Regto would pick up on the subtle tells. The quiet sighs as he turned a wrench, or the nearly silent gasps as something slipped in his hand when normally he'd curse. His dad could always tell when something was bothering him, even despite him trying to hide it. Yet here Enjin was, doing the exact same thing.

His hand twitched again in pain, though Rudo didn't verbally react. Instead, he just blinked hard, scrunching his face for a brief moment. No one could see his face anyway, so there was no way- “Okay, that face settles it. We're going to my room to talk there. Something's clearly bothering you and I'm not gonna be a jerk and make you reveal it to them. See ya, Gris, later, Bro. I gotta take care of the brat.” They exchanged their goodbyes, Enjin guiding Rudo towards the hallway with an arm around his shoulder.

When they made it to his room, Enjin unlocked the door for the pair, shutting it and guiding them to sit down on the bed. Once they got settled, Enjin pulled him back in for a side hug, giving him a questioning look Rudo knew all too well. “Okay, so what's going on? I always welcome hugs, but what made you seek me out today?” Rudo was staring down at his hands, embarrassed and too nervous to look up at the man while he spoke, his voice feeling like it was locked behind steel plates. He tried to force out an answer, but all he accomplished was gaping his mouth like a fish out of water before he shut it, frustrated at his own inability to speak. He shrugged, hoping that would be a clear enough answer. Enjin hummed, tapping his fingers against Rudo's shoulder as he thought. “Okay then.. guess we'll try this a different way. Imma take a wild guess and ask if this has something to do with your dad.”

That educated guess must have been enough to snap Rudo out of his nonverbal state, the Spherite staring up at Enjin and blinking before he stuttered out a response. “I- yes.. h- How?” His voice was hoarse, that being the first time he spoke since yesterday. Enjin only pulled him closer, rubbing his shoulder affectionately. “You seem like you were extremely close with him, and you take very good care of those gloves he gave you, so I know he meant a lot to you. You randomly hugging me without a word as if you needed comfort tells me you were probably missing your dad.” Rudo glanced back down, allowing his hair to fall in his face to cover the light embarrassed blush on his cheeks.

“Well… yeah. I was.. thinking about him.. and I.. also realized that I never hugged him first and I needed a distraction anyway so I decided to try that with you.. hugging first I mean.” Enjin placed his spare hand on the kid's head, ruffling his hair again. “Ohhh I see, how cute, you are such a softie, aren't you?” He teased, causing Rudo to grumble, furrowing his eyebrows. “Oh cut it out, can you blame me? I just didn't want to make the same mistake. I'm trying not to be such a shitty son.” He had tightened his hands into fists as he spoke, which must have been a mistake as the action caused him to wince and release them. Enjin glanced down at them with a brief look before he ruffled Rudo's hair again.

“Easy, son. One, I don't think you've ever been a shitty son, and I'm sure your dad would agree with me if he were here. Two, did you get hurt?” He gestured to the other's gloved hands, earning a twitch from the younger one's fingers as he moved his hands to try and hide them from view. “What? No. It's fine. It's nothing.” Enjin took a deep breath, sighing with a look that meant Rudo already knew what was going to follow it. “Acting defensive like that means I have to look now. Go on. Show me.”

Rudo hesitated briefly before sighing, hanging his head as he slowly and carefully removed his gloves, wincing as that made the pain worse. “It’s nothing new..” He set the gloves beside him on the bed, starting to peel off the slightly bloody bandages. He sighed, knowing that he was going to have to get new ones now, since he couldn't put the dirty ones back on. He doubted Enjin had any laying around, so maybe he'd have to somehow make it to Eishia's infirmary, or back to his room without anyone noticing. He almost forgot that Enjin was even there, so focused on removing the bandages, that he jumped when Enjin sighed. “Jeesus kid…” He muttered, causing Rudo to pull his hands closer to himself instinctively. He had already begun unwrapping the second hand, working on the palm when Enjin startled him.

The older cleaner had a pained look on his face, his eyebrows furrowed in thought as he looked down at the teen's damaged appendages. “This isn't self-inflicted, right? I mean, I saw the bandages before, but I assumed it was for support, like a boxer's wrapping..” Rudo quickly shook his head no, trying to finish while he spoke. “No, not this. You'd have to thank my asshole biological father for this. It happened when I was a baby so I don't remember it. I don't even remember him, just the wounds he left me with. The gloves Regto gave me help a bit with the pain, but it still flares up. Right now it's not so bad, really. More annoying than anything.”

Enjin frowned deeper, taking in the sight of the younger member's hands. Rudo started to fidget slightly, glancing up at Enjin before hiding his face behind his hair again, looking down. “Please stop staring..” This snapped Enjin out of his thoughts, rubbing his hand over his face with a light sigh. “Sorry, not trying to stare. I'm just thinking of how to help you.” He turned his body slightly, facing Rudo as he held out his hands, his palms up. The teen looked up at him, confused, when he saw the focused look on Enjin's face and understood. Gently, he placed his hands in Enjin's, shivering at the contact. The last time he had touched someone's skin had been Regto. He had changed his bandages the night before everything happened. That thought caused his lip to quiver, though he suppressed the majority of the emotions suddenly welling up. If Enjin noticed, he didn't say anything.

The umbrella wielder had surprisingly gentle hands for as rough as they seemed. He moved with careful precision, checking the damage and pursing his lips as he thought. He set them back down as he hummed, looking more determined than before. “I think I know something that might help.” He stood up, ruffling Rudo’s hair once more before heading towards his door, pausing to turn around and say something before he left. “Stay here, I'll be right back, kid. Go ahead and get comfy.” When Rudo nodded, he left, leaving the kid alone in his room. Rudo did as he was told, laying back on the bed and placing his hands on his chest. Having air hit them after being wrapped for so long felt strange, but something about being there in the cleaner's room made it seem almost refreshing.

The teen was thinking about everything that led up to this moment, scoffing to himself as he once again made a comparison between Regto and Enjin. Maybe he already saw Enjin as a father figure on the Ground without realizing it. He may have been a bit of a teasing jerk, but he still showed his love and care towards Rudo without having to say it. Rudo knew that he could rely on him, as well as the other Cleaners, which is what helped push him forward and give him something to hold on to.