Chapter Text
“I’m in a relationship.” He blurted out. Oh fudge that is not what he meant to say.
Stratt raised an eyebrow. Her hair framed her face, the grey hairs she incurred while working on Project Hail Mary more evident than ever.
“And when did you have the time to enter one of those?” She asked calmly. Her hands tightened imperceptibly together. If Ryland hadn’t spent far too many hours in meetings with her, he wouldn't have even noticed it.
“On the ship. In the middle of the ocean. Haven’t uh, haven’t had a chance to leave.” He laughed out, cringing out how unbelievable he sounded.
Stratt’s eyebrows rose higher. There’s no way she believed him. Absolutely no way. Ryland was a bad liar on his good days. Immediately after being asked to go on a suicide mission? Stratt wouldn’t believe him.
They both knew it.
“And who is the name of your… partner?” Stratt asked.
Oh fudge. Quick, who is everyone you know on this base. The other scientists would never back him up, a lot of them already held some level of contempt for him. Or were in a relationship. Or he didn’t know that well. Okay so the more he thought about it the less people he knew in general. Any engineers come to mind? He’d worked with quite a few while working on equipment for space use. Did any of them-
“Simon.” He blurted out before the thought even finished. “Simon Fischer. We uh, we’ve been seeing each other.”
She narrowed her eyes. Okay, maybe not the smartest name to blurt out. Objectively one of the worst people he could’ve said. The engineer had to get broken out of jail for goodness sake; Stratt would never buy it.
She gave him a look. She didn’t believe him. He knew it. She didn’t believe him and he was going to get sent to space. This was a long shot that was about to fall through his feet. He was going to die.
“We will have to verify this but if your.. partner is okay with it, would you be willing to go?” She asked, keeping her voice steady.
Ryland gaped. There’s no way this was going to work. They had a month. He was still going to be sent. They couldn’t train another scientist in time. He was-
He shook his head in response to her question. “I couldn’t leave him here. Y’know, getting broken out of jail doesn’t do well for potential job opportunities. And I need to do everything in my power to keep him out of jail.”
What in the world was he saying? Simon and him had talked a handful of times, Ryland couldn’t even tell Stratt why the man was in jail, or how much longer his sentence was supposed to be. Fudge.
She wrinkled her nose for a fraction of a second. She debated something in her head, weighing the pro’s and con’s for a long moment.
“And I assume you’ve discussed the desire to not go to Mr. Fischer.” She mumbled to herself.
“Yes! Yes, of course he knows.” Ryland blurted. Anything to keep him out of that darn spaceship. “I would still help prepare the third back up, of course. I just-”
He stopped. He just what? Couldn’t bring himself to die for all of humanity? Needed to stay here for his students?
He just didn’t want to die.
“I just can’t leave him alone.” He finished lamely.
Stratt nodded slowly. She waved her hand in dismissal, reaching to make a phone call. He heard her talking in Polish before he had even left the room.
Where the fudge was Simon Fischer.
He only had a few minutes at most before someone would come ask him about their relationship. Only a few minutes to prepare him for the inevitable storm of questions that would surely get thrown his way. Only a few minutes before Simon would deny anything and they would send him to space anyways.
Only a few minutes to confess to Simon that he was a coward.
He sprinted down the hall of the building, wood walls racing by him. He let out a few murmurs of apologies as he raced towards the engineering hall, mentally trying to recall where Simon’s workspace was. Fresh air greeted him as his eyes settled on the converted air hanger they were using to finalize construction on the Hail Mary.
He pushed open the heavy metal door of the hanger. It was a massive space that the different engineering departments had fought over before the aerospace engineers took over. Simon wasn’t an aerospace engineer, but he was handy with tools and soaked information in like a sponge.
He frantically scanned around the hanger, looking for the mop of black hair he would recognize as Simon. Black hair green shirt, black hair green shirt, black hair gree- There.
He walked towards the man, a futile attempt to look calmer than he was feeling. Anxiety pounded in his chest, nausea settling in his stomach. He walked a little quicker.
Oh fudge. Two men in black suits walked towards Simon. Ryland walked faster. They were discussing something. The thing Ryland just blurted out to Stratt, if Ryland were to go off of the confusion etched on Simon’s face. Fudge, why were they so far away? He walked around a group of welders, debating about different parts of the ship.
Simon glanced around the hanger, eyes landing on Ryland. They narrowed for a fraction of a second, scrutinizing him. Analyzing him. Simon looked away, satisfied with whatever he found. Simon turned back towards the men, answering whatever question they asked. They nodded, before quickly turning to leave the hanger.
Ryland continued his speed walk towards the engineer. He needed to apologize for mixing Simon up in his mess. For attempting to use him as a scapegoat. Simon’s eyes landed on him again as he walked up. It was nerve wracking, having that piercing gaze so fixed on Ryland. Like he was analyzing every inch of him.
Ryland stopped at the table in between the two of them, leaning on it with one hand.
“H- Hey Simon.” He said, dragging out the ‘o’. “How’s it going?”
He threw out a desperate smile, hoping that whatever god Simon believed in was a merciful one.
Simon raised an eyebrow in response. “That’s what you’re opening with? ‘How's it going?’ I hear that we’re in a relationship from two men in suits that I’m fairly sure want to throw me off the ship and you ask me, how’s it going?” He settled his right hand on his hip.
Ryland let out an uncomfortable laugh. “Yes?”
Simon stared at him. What was this guy and staring? Ryland's skin itched while being picked apart under his gaze.
His face softened at whatever he found and he let out a sigh, dropping his hand.
“If anyone asks, we got together a couple weeks ago.” He muttered, turning back to the equipment he was working on.
“I am so sorry about dragging you- Wait, what?” Ryland said, brain short circuiting. He was- Simon had said- But that would mean-
Simon glanced back at him. “They asked me how long we’d been together. I said two weeks. That work for you?”
He was joking. He had to be. Ryland’s brain was scrambled. Simon had to be joking with him somehow. He had said- He had said they were together? And for two weeks?
Ryland heard a sigh from in front of him and Simon quickly stepping away. His gaze was fixed on some control panel Simon apparently was finalizing. Gosh, he picked the worst person to claim he was dating. He could barely tell you what Simon was working on.
A warm, gruff hand tugged on his lightly, directing him away from the lab. Or was it a workshop? Either way, Ryland’s brain slowly caught up to him, realizing Simon was dragging him away to a private part of the base.
He stumbled over his feet in his attempt to adjust to Simon’s fast pace, the man’s grip on his hand only tightening when it happened. Simon gave him a quick once over, before continuing to drag him away from everyone else. They stopped outside the hanger, too far for anyone to hear, close enough for people to see them.
Simon dropped his hand and Ryland immediately missed it. He hadn’t had human contact on this mission- oh jeeze, nearly the entire time. Not that he really had any before. He shook his head. That wasn’t important right now.
Simon stood in front of him, leaning on the metal wall. His black hair was fixed in a bun, twisted together with a pencil. His eyes stayed fixed on the floor, his facial scar moving when he squinted.
“Look man, I’m not going to say I understand why you said it. God knows I don’t understand people on the best of days, but I can recognize panic when I see it. Why did you-” He paused, briefly looking towards Ryland before fixing his eyes to the horizon. “Something had to have happened to make you say that. I need to know what.”
Ryland sharply inhaled. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. Simon was supposed to say no and Ryland was supposed to get shot into space if something happened. He took a deep breath.
“They asked me to be another backup. In- in case something happened. Stratt said I had no family, no one to miss me. Not even a dog.” He spat out, the recent conversation fresh in his mind. “I needed a reason. To say no. To not go. I- I can’t do it. I can’t go into space. And apparently me not wanting to go wasn’t reason enough. Apparently I needed someone here to miss me to say no.”
Tears pricked at his eyes, threatening to spill over. He would not cry, he couldn’t. Simon shouldn’t have to deal with his emotional state just because he didn’t want to go to space.
But the tears kept threatening to spill over, and soon they did more than prick at his eyes. They spilled over his eyelids and down his cheeks. They fell faster than he could gather the will to stop them.
“I’m sorry I made that person you.” He whispered, voice choking on a sob.
Simon didn’t say anything for a while, just silently let Ryland cry. He did shift closer, hand resting gently on his bicep. Ryland could feel his thumb tracing small circles. He swallowed another sob, letting out a small hiccup.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He took half a step away from Simon, his hand falling. “You shouldn’t have to see this. You shouldn’t even be wrapped up in this. She just asked and I- I panicked! And you were the name I threw out! And sure you’re attractive but we’ve interacted like 5 times all in all and-”
Ryland cut himself off as the sound of quiet laughter filled his ears. He looked up, only to see Simon covering his mouth. A sheepish grin crept out from behind his hand and his eyes were shining.
He began pouting. Simon couldn’t laugh at him for this! Simon shouldn’t have even been dragged into this! He should be furious!
“Wha- Hey! Don’t laugh at me.” He whined. “I just told you I dragged you into some stupid pretend relationship because I needed an excuse to get out of going to space, you should be- I dunno, mad or something.”
Simon laughed harder, and not the muffled laugh he was hiding earlier. A full body laugh. His eyes were squeezed shut in delight, the widest grin Ryland had ever seen on his face. Ryland let out an annoyed huff as Simon slowly stopped laughing. It took far too long for Ryland’s taste.
By the time Simon finished laughing, a flush had settled on his cheeks. He opened his eyes and-
Oh.
Oh.
Ryland realized why he blurted out Simon’s name earlier.
Simon took a deep breath. “You don’t-” He looked at Ryland, once again scrutinizing his every move.
“You don’t realize what you said do you?” His eyes shined with mischief.
Ryland flushed. What was he talking about? Ryland was just letting him know how bad of a position he would be in, with Stratt watching his every move and-
‘And sure you’re attractive-’
Ryland could feel his ears turning red. Oh he did not say that. He did not drag Simon into this mess and then confess he found the other man attractive. Ryland did not just do that. He was bad at social situations sure, but there is no way he just-
Simon smiled, something soft in his expression. “It click for you?”
He opened and closed his mouth a few times, struggling to find anything to say to that.
“I’m sorry?” He squeaked out.
Simon snorted. He rolled his eyes in a way that could only be described as fond before lightly shaking his head.
“I told you, if anyone asks, we've been together for two weeks.”
“I didn’t even ask you-”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not like you're stopping any potential suitors from asking me out. I think you’re the only one with the balls to even suggest being in a relationship with me.” Simon said, eyes looking vacantly towards the horizon. His hair had come loose during his laughing session, a few strands blowing freely in the wind.
Ryland frowned. “That can’t be true. A guy with a brain like yours? Gotta have people lining up out the door.” He joked.
Simon turned to him, eyebrow raised.
“You think I have people lining out the door? A man that got arrested for eco-terrorism, got sentenced for said eco-terrorism, and subsequently broken out because of the machines I made during the eco-terrorism? Don’t exactly have the best track record.”
Ryland blanched. Eco-terrorism? It wasn’t the worst thing you could get arrested for, not that getting arrested in general was a good thing. And if he was arrested for eco-terrorism and Stratt broke him out for his mechanical experience then-
“She broke you out for your mechanical experience?” He asked, the question leaving his lips before he had a moment to think about it.
Simon stared at him in disbelief. “You mean to tell me-” He cut himself off, eyebrows furrowing.
“You mean to tell me she didn’t tell her second in command why she broke me out? I know you mostly work with all the science portion of everything but without the mechanics building your components, you can’t do the science part.”
“Second in command?” Ryland exclaimed. “Me? I- You’re joking right? I’m not any kind of second in command. I know the astrophage stuff not-”
“You’ve also been to every meeting Stratt has been to. You’ve personally inspected every single part of the ship. God, Dr. Grace- I’ve seen you explain astrophage to her. If someone has a question and they can’t find her they go to you.”
Ryland winced. That last part was true but that was- that wasn’t because he was any kind of person in charge. He just knew about astrophage. He studied it.
“She’s not a scientist.” He retorted quietly, shrinking into himself. He buried his hands in his jacket pocket. “They have to go to me about astrophage and-
“And every other part of the mission? You have to be the one to check on the progress of the space ship we’re building? Dr. Grace you-” He took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “I understand you’ve got some confidence problems. I think everyone has been there at some point. But you, you have a Ph.D. in molecular biology. You’re the first person that discovered how to breed astrophage. You’re the person people turn to when they have a question about the logistics of all this.” He waved his hand, gesturing to the entire compound.
Simon checked a watch on his wrist. Had that been there the entire time?
“Listen, I have to go. I only got a ten minute break. Meet me after my shift is over and we can talk more but-”
He looked at Ryland, something warm in his eyes that Ryland couldn’t put a name to.
“Have some more confidence in yourself.”
The last thing Ryland remembered from that conversation was Simon walking away, twisting his hair back into a secure bun.