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No rest for the wicked it seems. December Holiday finds herself struggling to sleep once again. It’s hard for her to do so nowadays since she’s constantly congested and has the constant need to cough up whatever builds up in her throat while she lies down. All she can do is cough since modern medicine can’t seem to figure out how to help her and her special “knightly conditions.” Groaning, she drags herself out of bed and throws on whatever she sees first in her closet. In this case, it’s a red flannel to go over her white t-shirt, along with a pair of black athletic shorts. Her wardrobe hasn’t been updated since she came back. Nothing really fits her anymore, but she hasn’t been able to bring herself to go out and buy new clothes. The darkness of her room is just too comfortable for her to leave. Plus, whenever she does go out she doesn’t go with the intention of talking to anyone, so why should she care about her appearance?
She wakes up her computer, which is set to the dimmest possible screen brightness, and looks at the clock. It’s 1:30am… which means nearly two hours have been wasted trying to fall asleep. Two hours of coughing and hacking. Two hours of wondering if she’ll ever sleep soundly again. Too much thinking. It’s something she’s been trying to do less of… thinking leads to her spiraling almost every time.
Another round of coughing reminds her why she’s out of bed. Unfortunately, Tylenol and NyQuil don’t help out with “stuck-in-eternal-darknessitis.” Eating or drinking always seems to help out… and what better way to forget misery than taking from her mother’s wine stash and drinking by the lake?
At this point, it’s become routine. She sneaks around to gather a bottle of wine and maybe a glass if she’s feeling fancy enough instead of just drinking straight from the bottle. Sometimes she’ll bring something to eat as well. After she stopped being the knight, she’s had this insatiable hunger that she can’t seem to get rid of. Despite all the eating she’s done, she hasn’t gained that much weight. For Dess, it’s just another worrisome pattern that serves as a reminder of her time as the knight.
No one’s going to stop her from sneaking out, and she knows it. Dess was in the weird territory of having everyone treat her like she’s made out of glass, while also simultaneously having a big amount of freedom to do whatever she wants. She figures that either her mother or Noelle knows about these late night excursions, so never being confronted has been surprising to her.
Not like she’s complaining. The cool air of Hometown hits her black fur, a side effect from her time as the knight, as she sets off to the lake. People give her odd looks whenever they see her. A deer with night black fur isn’t something you see every day, but Dess finds humor in it all. She truly looks like a shadow of herself. The Moon is crescent in the night sky, with stars accompanying the scenic backdrop. With her eyes not being able to withstand the brightness of the Sun, Dess has gained a further appreciation for the moon and stars. They’ve always had her back. They've never judged her. She feels more connected with them now than ever since her white spots now look like stars in the night sky thanks to her black fur.
She can’t help but laugh every time she walks to the Lake. Hometown just hasn’t changed at all. Same buildings, mostly the same people, and the same rowdy girl skulking around at night. Last thing Dess wants to deal with is someone asking where she’s going or what she’s doing. Talking to people is difficult for her… really, it’s always been difficult, but even more so nowadays.
Wine doesn’t ask questions though! The tranquil atmosphere of the lake makes the perfect backdrop for some tasteful drinking. Dess grabs a seat at one of the tables near the Lake and pops the cork off the bottle. The first sip of wine directly from the bottle coats her mouth with a pleasantly bitter taste. A sense of relief hits her as she becomes just a little less congested. Although she also feels a little annoyed… she might have to admit that her mom has good taste in wine…
After a while, she feels herself getting drunk. It’s her usual playbook. If she gets drunk enough, then she’ll fall asleep despite how congested she is. Any looks she gets from her mom the next day are small potatoes compared to the hangover she’ll inevitably have. The bottle is half empty… she starts to wonder if she should’ve brought another. Her thoughts are interrupted as she hears someone walking to the lake.
Normally, Dess would be a little worried… but she’s literally seen the code that makes up her world, or a window to her world at least… honestly nothing could possibly phase her. Still, she glances behind her shoulder to see a somewhat familiar face. The girl with hope crossed on her heart is approaching her table, looking no worse for wear… lucky.
Susie takes a seat and asks, “What’re you doing out here?”
“Could ask you the same thing… plus, isn’t it obvious?” She replies while waving the wine bottle, “want a sip?”
The hero shakes her head no, “I don’t drink.”
Dess laughs and then coughs before replying, “Your loss.”
A tense silence falls over the two. Dess takes another gulp of wine, “Are you here for a fight?”
Susie’s eyes widen for a moment, “No?”
Another round of laughs and coughs comes from Dess, “Good, I can’t give you a good fight anymore Fahaha!”
Susie just looks at her… the doe doesn’t bother deciphering her expression. The girl is looking much healthier nowadays. Noelle’s gotten her to eat properly, and she’s started to build up some muscle since she’s also working out with her sister as well. There are hints of scars from her last clash with Dess, but they’re faint enough that one would have to squint to see them.
“So, if you’re not here to beat the shit out of me… then what are you doing here?” She asks the girl.
“… Just worried about you,” she tells her in a neutral tone.
Because she hasn’t really talked to anyone since she’s made her grand return, Dess isn’t quite sure where she and Susie stand. The tenseness is obvious, she was literally the villain in Susie’s story after all. Of course, she’s harbored no ill feelings towards her, defying and changing a prophecy is totally badass… but she can’t help but be just a little envious. She’s a good kid… and the only reason that Noelle can finally move on from her.
Dess rolls her eyes, “I’ll add you to the list. I’m not going to disappear again, if that’s your worry.”
Susie’s stare turns into a glare, “Like you haven’t already?”
That turns the doe’s mood sour, “And the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“Are you joking? When’s the last time you’ve talked to Noelle? When’s the last time you’ve talked to Kris?! When's the last time you’ve talked to anyone?!?!” She roars.
The knight roars back, “Boo fucking hoo, am I supposed to be at everyone’s beck and call?! The world continued to spin without me here before, and last I checked it’s still spinning now!”
“You know that’s not true damn it! Noelle never moved on, your mom definitely never moved on, your dad, Kris, Asriel, man I don’t know if anyone moved on! What happened to that cool girl Noelle talked about? Because all I see right now is a bitter. Drunk. Asshole who just wants to waste away in front of everyone who loves her,” Susie rants with passion. A passion that’s bitterly familiar to Dess.
Her eyes start to water, but she resists the urge to cry at how effortlessly she got verbally torn apart. The last thing she’s going to do is cry in front of her, “and why the hell do you care? You should hate me. I’m the villain. When we fought I could feel the animosity you held for me. If you were smart, you’d leave now and move on. I’ve got nothing else to contribute to your story.”
There’s a pause before Susie speaks, “… No…. No I can’t accept that. If I did, I’d have to tell Kris what you told me. When I first moved here, I hated them. I hated that they had what I didn’t. Every time I saw them I just thought ‘why couldn’t I be in their shoes?’ Before I’d just get angrier. They felt the full brunt of my frustrations. I tried my best to make them miserable…” she trails off, muttering something Dess can’t hear.
A sad look crosses Susie’s face, but she presses on, “the point is… I was their villain for a long time. But they… they gave me a second chance. A chance for me to make things right. I don’t know why, but I’m glad they did. Why can’t the same be true for you? You deserve a second chance. You’ve been given a second chance! Do you really just want to waste it?”
For a moment, Dess doesn’t know what to say. Then, she starts to laugh. A giggle turns into a chuckle, which then turns into a full out burst of drunken laughter. Inky black tears stream down her face, another side effect of her knighthood, as she slams her hand on the table. To an outsider, it sounds like she’s been told the world’s best joke.
Eventually, her laughter dies down, “I can see why Noelle likes you. You’re so damn true to yourself…” You remind me of who I used to be…
Susie blushes and looks away. Dess continues, “it’s just hard. I’ve got no prospects. Hell, I never even graduated high school! Everyone’s changed so much. Noelle isn’t my little sister anymore… she’s just my younger sister. I couldn’t be prouder of her, but I don’t even know how to talk to her! How sad is that?”
The Lizard laughs, “You could start by at least trying to talk to her! Seriously though, maybe you could do two things at once.”
The doe gives a questioning look, so Susie explains, “You can still get your GED. Plus, you’ve got the world’s best tutor living with you! If she can drag me through high school, then she can do the same thing for you.”
“… It’s a start,” Dess admits. She spins the wine bottle before taking another drink from it.
“Hey, that’s all you need sometimes.”
“I guess.”
“Look, all you need to do is try, and you’ll make your sister happy. You'll make everyone happy. If you need help with… actually, don’t come to me for anything school related.”
That gets a laugh from both of them. For the first time in forever, Dess felt… happy. She can’t help but laugh until another coughing fit comes on. That stops Susie’s laughter, which is quickly replaced by a look of concern.
It takes a moment for Dess to stop coughing, but she’s quick to quell any concerns, “I’m fine, it’s just… a chronic thing that I’ve got from being… well you know…” she takes another sip of her wine to wash down anything that’s caught in her throat. It’s only then she realizes, “oh geez, I’m crying,” inky trails have streamed down her face and onto the table. She can’t tell if it’s more joy or sadness, so she just assumes it’s a mix of both to be safe.
“You really are a hero, aren’t ya?” Dess asks rhetorically.
Susie answers anyway, “nah. Even though the prophecy said I was, I broke that shit, so… not a hero.”
“Faha! Alright, how about a badass then?” She asks her.
“I like the sound of that,” Susie grins.
“Well, I think it’s badass of you to help out someone who’s done nothing but hurt you,” Dess says emphatically.
“Before all of this, I wouldn’t have!” The girl admits, “Now though… I can’t bring myself to hold any grudges. Those aren’t going to help anyone.”
Silence befalls the two. It’s less tense than before. The only noise is the ambience of the nature surrounding them. Before she knows it, Dess has an empty bottle of wine in her hand. Doubts start creeping into her mind, “I don’t know. I already fucked up things with Asriel,” memories of the shouting match the two had after he found out that she was the reason Kris was missing their hand, “I’m afraid I’ll just do the same thing with Elly…” she’s on the verge of tears again. The wine has not helped her temper her mood at all.
“Alright, let’s get you home,” the girl says, getting up and looking at Dess expectantly, “Elly loves you. You’re just too drunk right now to realize that.”
When the doe goes to stand, she finds it hard to keep her balance. The wine has hit her hard, but it’s another reminder of her new bouts with exhaustion due to her body recovering from knighthood. It distracts her enough to forget about the misty feeling in her throat, begging her to cough. After gaining her balance, she stumbles her way home with Susie. The sky is starting to get brighter, which is irritating her eyes that are still not used to light despite nearly a week of her trying to adjust.
The Holiday Manor looms large in the distance. It’s not a long walk, but the two constantly stop so Dess can cough or try to keep her balance. Eventually they reach their destination. The older doe pauses when she sees Susie follow her past the gate.
“… You can’t seriously think I’m going to let you walk up the stairs by yourself after you stumbled all the way here,” Susie says flatly.
Dess shrugs and slurs her words, “Suit yourself.”
Ultimately, it’s a wise decision after Dess completely misjudges a step and falls into the stairs. It takes a while for her to agree, but eventually Susie carries her up the stairs. The younger girl doesn’t stop there, choosing to just carry her to her room and then plop her down on her bed.
Dess stretches and feels herself about to fall asleep. She notices Susie leaving and speaks up, “Hey,” Susie turns to face her, already in the doorway, “thanks for dealing with me tonight. I’ll try to be less of a jerk tomorrow.”
A genuine smile forms on Susie’s face, “No problem. Night.”
The door closes, and Dess quickly drifts off…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Susie sighs, silently hoping that Dess decides to at least talk to Noelle tomorrow…
“Susie…?” Speak of the angel. Noelle yawns as she pokes her head out of her room. She’s dressed in a white nightgown, not too dissimilar to her outfit in the dark world.
“Hey Jingle Bell,” Susie says quietly. Last thing she wants to do is wake up Carol. Her heart races as she watches Noelle’s face become flush.
“Hey… usually when you visit you come through the window, Faha,” she gives Susie a confused look, “you know Mom will let you use the front door right?”
The lizard grins, “Yeah, but it’s not as cool.”
The doe laughs, “Well, what are you doing here? I mean, I’m not annoyed or anything, but-“
Susie cuts Noelle off before she starts rambling, “I was just bringing your sister back from the lake.”
A sad look forms on her face, “She went out again?”
“Yeah, and she’s in for a massive hangover tomorrow. She downed a full bottle of wine.”
That does nothing to help her girlfriend’s sad mood. She sighs and glances at the door to Dess’ room, “I just… I don’t know, it’s just that… I thought when Dess came back, we’d be a family again. But Dess has been so… unresponsive to everyone, mom is acting like everything is back to normal, and dad…” isn’t going to make it, is left unsaid, “even though we’re all together, it’s like we’ve never been further apart,” Noelle laments.
Susie puts a hand on Noelle’s shoulder, “Hey, we broke a freaking prophecy together. There’s no reason we can’t figure this out too.”
“Susie… you’ve already done so much for us, you don’t have to-“
“I want to. I love you so much, and it kills me that the only time I see you happy is when you’re with me. You should be happy here too, so I’m going to do whatever I can to make that happen. Even if that means getting along with your mom,” Susie mutters the last part.
Noelle takes Susie’s hand and guides her into her room so they don’t have to speak in whispers. Before she says anything, she gives Susie a peck on the lips, “I don’t deserve you…”
The lizard blushes and smiles, “I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving than you.” Although Susie knows that there’s still a long way to go before the Holidays can truly be a family again, she’s filled to the brim with hope that it can happen.
“C’mon, let’s go to bed,” Noelle yawns, leading her girlfriend to her bed.
All of Susie’s confidence goes out the window, “I-I don’t want to be a bother, I was-“
“Oh shush,” Noelle lies down, leaving enough space for Susie to join her, “or is my hero too scared to share a bed with her girlfriend?” She teases.
“No!” Susie protests and practically dives into the bed with her.
Both girls laugh. Eventually Noelle falls back asleep, cuddled up next to Susie, leaving just the lizard awake. For a moment anxiety builds up in the back of her mind, wondering if she can really bring the Holidays back together. She can’t help but laugh internally at the fact that breaking the prophecy might end up being easier than the challenge before her now.
She steels her resolve. I’ll make sure this all works out, no matter what, Elly…
For that moment, she has no doubts.