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Julius,
Take my advice and fix your hair. Terribly distracting—it is dragging down my productivity during calculus class. It is too perfect. Have this fixed by Tuesday.
Yours, Sadie.
Sadie,
We can compliment each other's hairstyle like normal people. Then again, nothing about us is normal.
I shall try a new hairstyle by Tuesday.
Your beloved boyfriend, Julius.
Julius,
I thought we were over the boyfriend thing. I hear from Abigail that you are shoving that brag down everyone's throats. I appreciate how much you adore me, but we need a better nickname. We do not settle for a basic nickname, Caesar.
Your hairstyle today was... acceptable. Perfect, but not dazzling enough not to grab my attention all lecture. (Do not take this as a challenge. We play fair.) Though please see to have your hair done to your old hairstyle on Saturday, our date, if you haven't forgotten.
Yours, Sadie.
Sadie,
Well, took us a decade to get together? Can't a man savor his final victory? I bagged Sadie Wen. The Sadie Wen. This is an achievement I am willing to put on my resume. But you are right, we don't settle for basic. We go above and beyond; otherwise, we are not Sadie Wen or Julius Gong. If I may, yours is a little basic as well.
Sadie is a little hard to make a nickname out of, considering it took the usual -ie you would make a nickname with. Let's go with some classics, yeah? Timeless.
Therefore, I suggest the following for you:
- Darling
- Beautiful
- Gorgeous
- Love
- Angel
Also, the below is for me:
- Not Julius Caesar
- Mr Perfect
Unfortunately, I am not blessed with the mind of my friends—who are equipped with overflowing creativity to make nicknames like my sweet honey baby bunny boo (yes, I have seen him say that long speech to his girlfriend when they met, to which she replied with oh, my snuggle wuggle cuddle buggie bugga boo. I prefer to steer away from that madness if possible.)
Please send your final judgement or amendments by Friday. I love you.
P.S. I reject babe. You're not a baby, nor am I... Though I may find it acceptable if you call me that in private.
Your boyfriend (and proud of it), Julius.
Julius,
I find it comedic that you are so serious about this. Sounds more like an office report than nickname suggestions.
I shall seriously rate these nicknames, as you have so seriously suggested them to me.
Here are my ratings for mine, for reference:
- Darling - Iconic nickname. Acceptable. 8/10
- Beautiful - No. You sound like someone who does not take projects or life seriously. 0/10. May reconsider depending on the mood and tone of voice used.
- Gorgeous - Same as above. 0/10
- Love - Nice. Iconic again. I can get behind this. 8/10
- Angel - I prefer to call you this.
Here are my ratings for yours below:
- Not Julius Caesar - I find it funny to call you Caesar once in a while when I need you to do something. Lighthearted. I rate Caesar a 6/10, not for usual daily use, but like calling your full legal name.
- Mr Perfect - Already true. Everyone knows this. 4/10
- Babe - 1/10. Cheesy. Prefer not.
Here are some I rather like for you:
- Pretty boy
- Idiot
- Pretty boy idiot
TL;DR I am calling you angel; you're calling me darling and love.
Let me know if there are any questions or concerns, angel.
Your girlfriend, Sadie.
Sadie,
No TL;DR required when you're with me, my treasure (? Rate this). I know every word of the emails you sent by heart.
You also know I'll go with whatever you like—especially when you call me angel—except when we are competing. That's a different story.
Your Angel, Julius.
Julius,
My treasure sounds nice. Bit fancy, though it is Julius we are talking about here (and here am I speaking as if I am not writing to you).
See you Monday.
Your treasure, Sadie.