Chapter Text
Valentino hated the way Marc looked at him. Not the anger and resentment, those emotions he understood, he shared those towards the younger rider.
No, he hated the amount of fear Marc's gaze carried whenever it fell on Valentino. Fear of what Vale could say, how he could ruin Marc's life by just sharing one simple fact with the world. Fear that Vale would share the secret, that secret he had sacrificed and was still sacrificing so much for to keep it hidden, that secret he had once upon a time, it felt almost like it had been in another universe, trusted Vale enough for to share it with him.
After all this time, despite whatever that had happened between the two of them and how much Valentino despised the Spaniard, he would forever be honored that he was one of the trusted few who knew. He would never spill it, had sworn to never spill it, keeping it well locked in his heart, careful to never even do as much as hint towards it.
He had tried to convey that to Marc time and time again whenever their eyes met from across the paddock, tried to make Marc believe him that his secret was safe with him. He had even sent Marc a text, only daring to do so a few months after his retirement when he didn't have to be near him every other weekend, the text simply stating that he shouldn't be worried, that Vale would keep his mouth shut about it no matter what. Went through all the trouble to convince his brother to give him Alex's number so he could send the same message to the younger Marquez brother when it appeared that Marc had blocked Vale's number.
He simply had been left on read, forcing to act like that didn't sting somewhere deep down in his heart, acting like he didn't know why it had stung. And the next time Valentino was in the paddock Marc had looked at him with the same fear-stricken look as before Vale had send those messages, as if he hadn't even sent them in the first place.
In a last desperate attempt to stop those looks, he had begun to talk less about Marc in the press, opting to try and steer the conversation away from the Ducati rider whenever he could. Don't get him wrong, he still complained about him, but the amount had significantly reduced over the past few years since his retirement, and that wasn't solely because he spoke less to the press. He had been making an effort, not to restore their friendship and what could've been something more, he still despised the Marquez's, but to make Marc feel a bit safer with Valentino knowing, to stop those damned looks which made his own heart ache with guilt. Guilt, Valentino Rossi wasn't supposed to feel guilt.
Which, after all his efforts, is why he was so confused as of why the other was currently storming towards him. Before he could react, he was pushed back into the wall from the Yamaha garage behind him, Marc's fingers digging painfully in his shoulders.
"Why did you say it? Why after so many years? Why now? What do you earn from it? We're not even in a championship battle anymore! If you want me to let Bezzecchi win you could've said so, to me, in private. I would've helped him win it if that would've stopped you from saying it to everyone! You know I would've done so, why did you say it anyway? Do you enjoy seeing me suffer? Does that make you so happy that you, that you- I should've never trusted you!"
The words were spat in his face which such force that it left Vale frozen in place. He had never seen nor heard Marc like this. His eyes were blown wide and bloodshot from the tears rolling down his cheeks in a rapid waterfall. Eyes which looked at him with such hatred -no that was the wrong word- there was no hate in his gaze, only pain.
Atleast he isn't looking at you with fear anymore, his brain added unhelpfully.
"Why, what did I do to you to make you say it, why couldn't you-, just, just…" Marc finally looked him in the eye, "why?", his voice barely a whisper.
Before Valentino could reply and figure out what the fuck was going on, what the it was that Marc kept referring to, Alex appeared behind his brother, putting a hand on his shoulder and turning him away from Vale. Not without saying a few words which so much hatred in his voice, that Vale began to seriously worry for his life.
"You're unbelievable Rossi."
He then walked away in quick steps, the hand not holding his brother clenched in a tight fist by his side, guiding Marc with him, who was trembling and stumbling like a newborn dear who tried his luck at using his way too unstable legs to walk for the first time.
That's when Valentino's gaze fell on Pecco and Bez, his students standing in the direction the Marquez brothers were heading. He made eye contact with the eldest, but Pecco just shook his head, the disappointment towards Vale clear in the gesture. He echoed Alex with a "unbelievable" leaving his lips, before he hurried over to support Marc's other side, supporting his teammate with a arm slung around his waist.
Bez looked between Pecco and Vale like a child of divorced parents, unclear which parent to choice to follow, knowing his decision will upset the other and nothing he could do about it. Pecco's push to his shoulder made the decision for him and he quickly turned around to follow the others, not without turning his head around a few times to glance anxiously at Vale. They turned around a corner and left Vale alone with only his thoughts to accompany him, not that the confusion was a great companion.
Valentino didn't know how long he had stood there looking like a fool with his jaw dropped to the floor, before he seemed to snap back into reality. He blinked a few times, but the pain still lingering from where Marc's fingers had pushed into his shoulders blades was proof that this all hadn't been just some twisted dream. He managed to make his legs cooperate with his brain and began walking in the direction of Luca's motorhome, hoping that his brother could maybe enlighten him in whatever it was he must have done to upset Marc in such a way.
He was just a few hundred meters in his journey, when reporters and big camera's swarmed him the second he left the press forbidden area between the Gresini and Yamaha garages, where he had been walking on his way towards his team's garage when Marc had cornered him.
"What are your thoughts on the big new regarding Marquez?"
"Did you know about Marquez's issue before today?"
"Any words you want to say about what has happened in the press conference?"
One voice stood out to him and made him freeze for the second time in just a sort period of time. It came from a reporter who was infamous for his insensitive way of wording questions, always trying to create drama and upset riders in a pathetic attempt to get the most clicks.
"How does it feel that a female has the same amount of championships as you, Valentino? What do you think that her name was before she changed it to Marc in her confusion? Marbella maybe? Marian? Mary? Do you think she should be banned from racing duo to her clear mental issues? Do you think tranny's belong in this sport?"
Fuck. Marc's nightmare had become reality. He was outed as transgender to the world.
Vale pushed past the reporters, not caring about how rude that made him look. He quickened his pace to a jog and hurried towards his original destination. He fumbled with his key ring for a bit, before he found the right key and opened the door of his brother motorhome. He shut the door behind him with a slam and sunk down on the couch opposite it. His brother didn't appear to be in his motorhome, otherwise he would be cursing Vale out by now for not being careful with the door.
A shaky sigh left Vale's lips, a hand carding through his hair. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back, hitting the wall behind the couch with a soft thud.
Fuck.
It was the only thing that Vale could think, the only thing that seemed appropriate to think right know.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
Marc had been outed. Outed. How could someone do something so vile to Marc, to anyone for the matter?
He remembered the way Marc's eyes had darted all around his motorhome all those years ago, before their rivalry had turned sour and their relationship was destroyed. The way he had seemed unable to look at Vale, every muscle in his body tense, face a deathly pale color. His mouth opening and closing a few times before he finally found the courage to say what had made him storm into Valentino's motorhome after the race in such a haste.
"I'm transgender."
The words said with the same weight like they were a death sentence. Maybe if said to other people they were, but not when said to Valentino. He may have not know exactly what those words exactly meant back then, but with the way Marc had looked ready to sprint out of the door, terrified of Vale's reaction, he knew what he had to do. He had engulfed the younger in his arms, the heartbreaking sobs coming out of his body had motivated him to hug him closer to his chest.
"I'll always be there for you," he had muttered, fully believing it at the time. How naïve he had been back then to underestimate so massively what a title fight would do to their relationship.
When Marc had finally left, after answering the questions Vale had been hesitant to ask, fearful to come over as insensitive or rude, they were met by the sight of Alex waiting by the staircase leading up to Vale's motorhome. He had looked so juvenile, standing there with his arms crossed and a frown on his face. It had been quite endearing, Alex being back up for his big brother, ready to fight the Valentino Rossi if needed, like the good protective brother he was.
Marc has smiled softly at his little brother and jumped into his arms, dragging Vale with him whose hand he had been holding. They had been in a situationship back then, as Marc had liked to call it. Something between friends and lovers. Vale had been the one holding them back to fully evolving to relationship status, feeling like a creep for falling for someone so much younger than him. Also uncertain if Marc really loved him, or if it was just childhood idolization he was confusing as love for his childhood hero. Though he had never shared those thoughts with Marc, knowing it would only upset him.
Marc had been so understanding of Vale's hesitation. No, understanding was the wrong word, he hadn't understood why Vale was so hesitant to accept his love or saw himself as a creep, "I'm an adult, not a child", he had said, the pout on his lips contradicting that statement. Marc had been very patient however, claiming that maybe in a few years time, when he himself was older, Valentino might finally feel comfortable being in a proper relationship with him.
Vale's heart ached when he thought back to how Marc had fully believed they would still be together years on from that moment, how further from the truth that could be…
They had never gone further than cuddling and holding hands when they were in the private of either of their motorhome's, a kiss occasionally shared between them, although it was rare and never more than simply pressing their lips together, never a tongue involved. All following the boundaries Vale had set so carefully, boundaries that made him feel slightly better about being so close to someone so much younger than him, someone who was supposed to be one of his biggest rivals.
Marc had been respectful of those boundaries, although in hindsight that may be because it was easier to hide the fact that he was transgender that way. Which had been why he had let Vale in on that secret that night, they had been having more and more talks about taking things further. Though it never came to that, Vale pushing to other away bit by bit since the beginning of the 2015 season, until it came to a peak in Sepang that year. The day that had turned the loving and longing way Marc had looked at Vale to a terrified one, one that hadn't left since.
The door of the motorhome slammed open, hitting the wall with a banging noise and ripping Valentino back into the present.
"Is it true what Pecco said?"
A fuming Luca stormed in. And because Valentino was Valentino, he couldn't help himself and muttered under his breath what his brother has said so many times to him before, "Don't slam the door".
Wrong thing to say.
Luca took two quick steps towards him, the door making a loud noise again as it slammed shut behind him.
"How could you! I know you hate him and might not understand him but that doesn't give you the right to out him! Do you know how serious this is?"
He towered over Vale, a finger pointing in his direction, reminding him how their mother used to scold him when he was little.
Vale ignored the words spewed at him, ignored the implication that his brother seriously thought he would do such a disgusting thing, in favor of asking the one question that had been on his mind since he heard that horrible reporter say those horrible things.
"Do you know if Marc's alright? Is Alex at least with him? Please tell me he is, he shouldn't be alone right now."
Luca was clearly taken aback by that response, literally taking a step back and frantically scanning his eyes over Vale, like he couldn't believe that the man in front of him was really his brother.
"Wha- what do you mean?" Luca stammered.
"Is Marc okay?" Valentino repeated himself, patience wearing thin, it didn't seem like such a difficult question to answer.
"Why do you care, don't you hate him?"
"Yes I do," Vale answered automatically in a monotone voice, "but never about this".
"I don't know, Alex and Pecco were with him when I saw him. He didn't look… great" Luca finally answered. His own worry for the Ducati rider taking over the anger he had felt for Vale. Marc hadn't looked okay by what he could make out from the way Alex and Pecco had dragged him past him, barely supporting his own weight and his face hidden in his brothers shoulder.
"Maybe talk some sense in your brother, he has lost his mind. Doesn't matter how much he hates Marc, he had no business outing him," Pecco had hissed his way. Luca had never seen him that angry, normally his fellow Italian was always very levelheaded and calm. Bez had trailed behind the trio, keeping his gaze to the ground and not even acknowledging Luca.
The latter had rushed to the place where he knew Valentino always hid when something happened, no matter how big or little it was or that whatever had happened was due to his own wrongdoings. Which led to him standing here in front of his brother, playing back the words he had just heard.
"Wait, what, you're implying that you knew Marc was transgender before today?" he asked incredulously. While he had accused Vale a minute ago of outing Marc, he hadn't actually thought that his brother had really done so, thinking it had been a misunderstanding by Pecco. His brother despised Marc, but he wasn't evil. Even Valentino Rossi would know that outing someone isn't something you can just do. He however didn't put it past his brother to latch onto this information and use it to talk even more shit about Marc to the media.
"I already thought you were taking the news very calmly, hiding in here instead of spewing poison about Marc to the first journalist willing to listen. That explains a lot."
"What, you thought I would be transphobic? Vale asked offended.
"Well, you're not exactly fond of Marc. This seems like something you would use to spread your hatred for him to the world."
"Wow," was all Valentino could reply to that, baffled and offended that his brother thought of him that low, thought of him as someone capable of using this of all things against Marc.
Luca, catching on Vale being offended, tried to defend himself.
"Come on, we all know you hate him with a passion. Don't blame me for thinking you would use this to target him even more."
"I don't hate him," Valentino mumbled softly without thinking.
"What was that?" Luca asked, not believing his ears.
"You heard me."
"Who are you and what have you done to my brother?"
"Well fuck you, for the matter I've been trying to make Marc less afraid of me for the past however many years!"
Luca snorted. "Marc afraid of you? I knew your ego was big, but that it is so big that you genuinely believe that Marc Marquez is afraid of you? Didn't expect that."
"Think about it, me, his most hated rival, knowing his biggest secret. A secret that will ruin his life if it gets out… fuck he thinks I'm the one who outed him!"
"Yeah no shit, why do you think I came here to yell to you about that?"
Truth is, Valentino hadn't thought about it, too consumed by his worry for Marc. That's why the younger had stormed towards him, yelled all those words to his face. And why Pecco had looked so disappointed in him. Secretly Vale was proud of his student for standing up for Marc, for defending him against his own mentor who he had thought had done a horrible thing to him.
He couldn't find it in himself to feel offended anymore by the assumption he would do such a thing. Deep down he knew he had acted unreasonable towards Marc and his whole family for the matter. But in old Valentino Rossi style, once he had messed up once he just couldn't help himself and keep making it worse, too proud to admit that he had made a mistake. And the hatred also turned out to act as a good excuse to hide his feelings for Marc away, using them as a weapon towards the younger.
Luca must've read something on his face and let out a desperate sigh. "Fuck, tell me you're not still in love with him." Damn drunk Valentino from the past for spilling this secret to Luca. Well, better than accidentally sharing Marc's one he supposed. Not that it mattered now anymore.
"No! Where on earth did you get that from?" Valentino bit back, realizing his mistake of being so defensive a little too late. Luca's face softened, an "oh Vale" leaving his lips.
"Don't 'oh Vale' me! I don't have feelings for him! I can't have feelings for him," he whispered the last part. His brother simply sat down next to Vale and drew him in his arms, ignoring his initial protests. Soon enough Valentino gave up fighting the comfort that the hug was and relaxed into it.
"You should tell him how you feel," Luca said mindlessly.
"Yeah, like now's a great time," Valentino sarcastically chuckled, hating how wet it sounded.
"Yeah maybe not now," Luca agreed with his own humorless chuckle before they fell into a silence again.
Their peace was short lived, disturbed by knocking on the door. Reluctantly Luca let go of Vale and went to open the door. Franky came in, looking expectantly at Valentino without saying anything. Diggia stood behind the half Brazilian. Normally he never came to Vale's motorhome -technically Luca's but when Vale was going to race weekends he also stayed there-, not being a part of the academy naturally made him more distant to Valentino than his students, seeing him still more as a childhood hero than a friend.
Vale raised his eyebrows at him in a silent question of why he was here now. A shrug of the shoulders was all the explanation he got. Still, Valentino knew why the VR46 riders where here and with a sigh he began to explain what had happened. How Marc had stormed towards him, accused him of outing him and how Pecco had believed that. That he already knew for a long time that Marc was trans, but that he would never dare to out the other and that he didn't know who had done so, but if he found out who they were that they would be dead. He left out the part that he was in love with Marc, his brother knowing was more than enough damage.
His team's riders seemed taken aback by how defensive Vale was of Marc, but made no further comment on it. They also made no hateful or disgusting comments about Marc and Vale was secretly proud to be surrounded by good people. He didn't know how he would've reacted if he heard any transphobic comments made about Marc from the people close to him.
"Well, fuck," was all Franky could say after Vale had finished. Diggia could only nod in agreement.
It summarized the situation pretty well.
Well, fuck.