Chapter Text
Rocky and I may have a slight separation anxiety problem.
But listen, when you spend years on a relatively tiny space ship with only one other person, the annoyance of never truly being able to get away from them slowly devolves into ‘Oh my God, I haven’t seen Rocky in over an hour. Where is he? What if something happened to him? Rocky’s my best friend, he has to be ok. Rocky’s the only thing holding me together, if he dies, I’ll slowly go mad in the cold, dark vacuum of space. Rocky you have to watch me sleep, what if something happens to me?’ and needless to say, there’s no undo button for accidentally rewiring your brain like that.
We’ve slowly improved since arriving on Erid, the threat of dying in space no longer making us metaphorically cling to each other in terror, but it’s still pretty obvious. Rocky visits me for a walk along the beach every morning, and we spend most evenings together after my class, often times with Adrian as well.
Sometimes Rocky shows up when I’m still teaching, but he always sits off to the side, quietly observing and careful not to interrupt. Today however, he could not sit still. Even now, as we walked across the beach, he was jittery, practically falling over himself.
“What’s got you so antsy?” I finally asked.
He stopped, turning to me. “I don’t know that word,” he said.
“Oh.” After all these years, it’s rare to find a word we haven't translated yet. Somehow, this one had never come up. “It’s when you can’t sit still because you’re nervous or excited,” I explained.
“Oh, I understand. We call this ♫♫♩”
“Got it.” There’s no way I was remembering that.
“I can sit very still,” he protested. “More than you can. At least my inside’s aren’t constantly moving.”
“So what’s going on then?”
“Nothing,” he replied as he continued to walk.
I followed him. “You would tell me if something was wrong right?” I asked. “You guys haven’t finally decided you don’t want me on your planet anymore, have you?”
That made him stop again. “No, of course not! Don’t joke about that.”
I held my hands up in defense. “Sorry. It was a bad joke.”
After a moment Rocky said, “It’s the opposite of wrong.”
I tilted my head. “I thought it was nothing.”
He trilled the equivalent of a frustrated huff as he stomped one of his front legs. I couldn't help but laugh.
“Just forget we had this conversion,” he said. “You’re going to ruin it.”
“Well how am I supposed to–” I was interpreted by something tiny poking the top of my head. “What?” I reached up to feel it but there was nothing there, and my hand came back slightly wet. It wasn’t blood, thank God; it had no colour.
“What’s wrong?” Rocky asked.
I looked up into the ‘sky’, trying to see the roof of the biodome. “I think the dome’s leaking,” I replied.
“There’s nothing in the dome to leak.”
I looked back at Rocky just as two more droplets landed on my head. I took a step back, searching the sky again. “Well something’s definitely dripping on me.”
“Strange,” Rocky said, in a weirdly calm tone that did not match the situation.
The droplets continued as I attempted to shield my head with my hands.
“Strange? What if it’s dangerous? We don’t…” I trailed off as I looked around, realizing there was liquid falling all around us. My eyes grew wide. “No.”
For a split second, I was on Earth again. Walking to work those three weeks after my umbrella broke and I kept forgetting to buy a new one. Splashing in the puddles of my childhood home’s front yard. Waiting for the bus during a storm. The familiarity of it all nearly made me feel sick.
“Rocky,” I was practically whispering as I couldn’t believe what I was about to ask, “is it raining?”
Rocky jumped up and down. “Yes! Yes, It’s raining! Do you like it?”
I was speechless as I stared up at the sky. I lifted my hands up, watching the rain splash on them. “I–” I laughed in disbelief. “Rocky, it’s amazing!”
There are so many things I’ve long since accepted I’ll never experience again. I try not to think about it. I could fill my days with nothing but grief, but then I’d have no time for anything else. I prefer to live in the present, grateful for all the things I do have.
I couldn't remember the last time I thought about rain. I hadn’t realised how much I missed it.
The tears spilled out without warning.
“Oh no, you’re leaking,” Rocky said as he stepped closer to me. “What’s wrong? Do you want them to turn it off?”
“No, it’s perfect,” I assured him. “They’re happy tears.” I closed my eyes and turned my face up, letting the water fall on me. “I just need a moment.” The rain was picking up, and my hair and clothes were getting quite wet, but I didn’t care.
How lucky was I? Not many people would call my situation lucky, but I do. The eridians could have left me to die on the Hail Mary. They could have cut me open to experiment on me, maybe locked me up. I can’t say with confidence Earth wouldn’t have done just that if the roles were reversed.
But they didn’t. They took me in, nursed me back to health, built me a home. They work so hard to give me what I need. I’m not sure I deserve it some days, and sometimes I feel bad, but I really am grateful.
And now they’ve made it rain. They went out of their way to figure out how to make it rain in my biodome. It’s not like I need rain to survive or anything. It’s not like I need half of the things they’ve made for me. But they do make me very happy.
“Having a response shared across all emotions seems inefficient,” Rocky muttered, pulling me out of my thoughts.
Without opening my eyes, I laughed. “I know, you’ve pointed it out several times.”
The rain fell harder as we stood there in silence. Suddenly, a large droplet hit me so hard, it was like being slapped in the face.
“Ah!” I opened my eyes and turned my head down.
I was thoroughly soaked by this point, my glasses plastered in droplets and my wet hair stuck to my forehead. The sky was darkening and the rain didn’t show any signs of slowing down.
“I think we should go inside,” I said.
“Yeah, I can’t say I love the rain,” Rocky replied.
“Well, this is a little on the intense side. C’mon.” I gestured for him to follow me as I headed for my house. The rain continued to pelt on top of us, and my brisk walk quickly turned into a run.
It was exhilarating. Soaking wet, sprinting through the rain; it was like a movie. I laughed wildly, yelling my middle school expletives, vaguely aware of Rocky’s skittering behind me. I barely slowed down when I reached the steps, which frankly wasn’t a smart move, but I managed to make it to the door all in one piece.
I turned around to find Rocky still at the bottom.
“Pick up the pace Rock!” I yelled.
“I’m coming!” he called back as he climbed up, notably not going any faster.
Rocky may not have been able to actually get wet in his xenonite suit, but I was soaked to the bone, and stopping made me realize just how cold I was. Finally, he met me at the door.
I threw it open and ran inside, Rocky following me before and I slammed it shut again.
We stood in silence in the entrance, save for the rhythmic sound of a lot of water dripping on my floor. I crossed my arms and raised my shoulders, bracing against the cold.
“Ok next time, let’s maybe turn it down a bit.”