Chapter Text
Yosuke didn’t always think too highly of himself, but he had never thought of himself as a coward. After all, in the past six-ish months, he had confronted his own evil doppelgänger, fought weird slime monsters, and been electrocuted, burned, and stabbed. He never thought that he would develop a preference for being stabbed over electrocuted, but here he was.
However, through all of the ordeals they had been through, nothing had rattled him quite like the sight before him.
Yu looked so blank.
Sure, Yu wasn’t exactly animated at the best of times. To say his Partner was stoic was putting it lightly. To the untrained eye, he almost seemed detached to the point of apathy. But, after all the time they had spent together, Yosuke had learned to read the emotions hidden behind the impassive mask.
This time, there was nothing. His eyes were impressively blank and dull. He almost looked like a doll. A doll with prominent eyebags and rumpled clothing, but a doll nonetheless. Yosuke was tempted to grab his Partner by the shoulders and shake him, beg him to freak out, to scream or cry or something, but he knew that was the last thing Yu needed right now. Instead, he stared at Naoto as they trudged out of Dojima’s hospital room and tried to convey his concern through the power of meaningful eye contact.
He couldn’t decide if he was relieved or not that Naoto looked uneasy as he did. On one hand, it was nice to know that he wasn’t overreacting or seeing something that wasn’t there. On the other hand, if Naoto didn’t know what to do, as smart as she was…
The sterile hallway was silent apart from the slight hum of the fluorescent lights and the tapping of their footsteps.
After it was clear that no one had anything to say, Naoto tried her best. “Senpai,” she started, “I’ll… We can…,” she trailed off.
Yosuke decided to take over. “Partner,” he said, reaching a hand out and placing it on Yu’s slumped shoulder. “We’re gonna save her. We haven’t failed yet. Believe in her and believe in us.” He tried his best to make his voice as reassuring as possible, but he had never had the same ability to console people that Yu did.
Yu didn’t turn to look at Yosuke, but he closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “I do,” he finally whispered, eyes fixed to the floor as they walked.
“Good,” Naoto said, voice firm. “We will not let you down.”
Yosuke thanked God for Naoto. How she managed to fit so much authority and self-assuredness in such small a package, he would never understand. As they reached the sliding glass doors that led outside, Naoto pulled out her flip phone from her blazer pocket.
“Yakushiji will be arriving to drive me home shortly. He insisted that he did not want me walking home unaccompanied with the situation being as it is.” She turned to Yu with a compassionate look on her face. “Please, let me request that he take you two home as well.”
Yosuke opened his mouth to agree, but Yu was faster. “No, thank you.” His low voice was uncharacteristically small.
Yosuke and Naoto frowned simultaneously. “Partner, it’s late. Let Naoto give you a lift.”
Yu shook his head. “I want to walk. Please.”
Yosuke internally sighed a bit, but externally nodded. He was exhausted, but what kind of friend would he be if he let Yu walk home alone to a dark, empty house after everything he went through today? Plus, while Yu wasn’t really the sort to do anything drastic or stupid, he would feel better seeing him home himself.
He gave what he hoped was a comforting smile to Yu. “Then, we’ll walk together. It’ll give me an opportunity to practice being a gentleman.” He held his arm out for Yu to hold like he was escorting a girl. “Milady,” he drawled, quirking an eyebrow up at Yu.
Finally, that was enough to break through Yu’s blank exterior. He didn’t smile, exactly, but the corner of his mouth twitched up almost imperceptibly. A warm feeling bloomed in his chest at the sight, but the feeling was quickly superceded by rising panic as Yu actually hooked his arm around Yosuke’s. Despite this being legitimately one of the worst times for him to go into his blushing schoolgirl routine, he felt his cheeks redden.
He could keep it cool, though. “W-well then, Natoto, we’ll see you at the food court tomorrow. I have a lovely lady to escort home.” Oh my God, that made it so much more weird, holy shit Yosuke, this is so not the time—
His panicked thoughts were cut off by the sound of Yu snorting next to him. Yosuke mentally sighed (again) and pulled Yu towards the sliding glass doors, carefully avoiding the knowing look that he already could tell was on Naoto’s face.
The rush of cold air felt good on his flushed cheeks as they stepped into the night. He let the ambient sounds of wind and crickets wash over him for a second before setting off towards the Dojima residence. He expected Yu to pull away from him after they started moving, but he didn’t. And so Yosuke didn’t either.
Yosuke turned the events of the day over in his mind as they walked. How could everything have gone so wrong, so quickly? They had solved everything, saved everyone. Yosuke hadn’t even really minded that no one would ever know it was them who caught the killer, he was just happy to be with his friends, to have done something worthwhile. He felt like a hero. And then everything went to shit in one day.
But, no matter how bad he felt, he knew Yu felt worse. He may have only come to Inaba a few seasons ago, but Nanako was everything to him. The fond look on his face as he helped her with her homework or walked around Junes while holding her hand always made Yosuke feel exceedingly sentimental for a teenage boy.
Yu never spoke about his parents back in the city, and so Yosuke never asked, but he had a sneaking suspicion that Dojima and Nanako might be it in terms of friendly familial relationships.
At the thought, the already lurking guilt sitting heavily in his stomach surged forth once more. How could he have let this happen to Yu’s only family? What kind of Partner was he?
He had fucked up. They all had, but he was supposed to be the one that protected Yu as his Partner, and he failed. He resolved to himself, right then and there on the freezing streets of Inaba with Yu’s arm snaked around his own, that he wouldn’t fail again.
And that started by supporting him now.
As the Dojima residence loomed into view, it looked cold and desolate. Despite knowing that it was probably just in his head, it was unnerving to Yosuke. Cold was normally the last word he would use to describe Yu’s house. When he thought of the Dojima’s, he thought of laughter, movie marathons, and Yu’s criminally delicious cooking. But with the events of today, all of that warmth had been sucked out of the home, just as the cold wind leeched the warmth from his bones, save for where Yu was still clinging to him.
Yosuke didn’t release his grip on Yu’s arm as he abruptly stopped walking, inadvertently jerking him back a bit at the sudden halt.
Yu tilted his head to the side, but didn’t say anything. “Please don’t…” Yosuke started, but even he didn’t know where he was going with the rest of his sentence.
Yu made eye contact with Yosuke, technically, but he seemed to be looking right through him as he waited for Yosuke to finish his thought. The bags under his eyes were a frightening shade of purple.
Normally, Yosuke was frustrated at the faultiness of the filter between his brain and mouth, but for once he wished he could get rid of it. “Are you going to be…okay?” Yosuke asked hesitantly, brown eyes searching tired grey ones.
Yu didn’t respond at first, but eventually gave a bone-weary exhale. “I’ll be fine, Yosuke.” He untangled his arm from where it was intertwined with Yosuke’s and went to unlock the door, but Yosuke grabbed his wrist before he could step away.
“Don’t give me that shit, Partner. You’ve seen the worst of me. Don’t try to hide.”
Yu’s shoulders dropped and he hung his head. Yosuke couldn’t see his face, but his shoulders began to shake and he realized in horror that he was crying.
Before he could process what he was doing, Yosuke was surging forward and wrapping his arms around Yu. He tensed for a moment as Yosuke embraced him, but after a few seconds he relaxed and brought his arms up around Yosuke. He had a death grip on the back of Yosuke’s jacket and tucked his head into the crook of his neck.
The two of them stood like that on the dark stoop of the Dojima house. Yosuke shoved down his intrusive thoughts about how hugs were for girls and squeezed his Partner tighter. He would be as girly as Yu needed right now, down to the skirt and strawberry hair clip.
Yosuke didn’t know how long it was before Yu’s sniffles finally subsided, but he mourned he loss of body heat as he finally pulled away. He had to resist the urge to pull him back in as the frigid night air caused a shiver to wrack through him.
Yosuke watched him carefully as Yu wiped his eyes and collected himself. It’s really, really not fair that someone can look so pretty while falling to pieces, he thought to himself, and then immediately felt guilty for letting his thoughts wander in that direction at a time like this.
“I…Thank you, Partner,” Yu said. Yosuke felt his stomach flip in the same way it always did when Yu used the same moniker that Yosuke threw around flippantly.
Yosuke grinned and patted him on the shoulder in what was intended to come off as a completely casual, non-emotionally charged bro-move. “What are friends for, Partner?”
His brow furrowed as he realized that this was normally the time where he would turn on his heel and head back home. After all, it was late as hell, and they would both need their energy if they were going to go into the TV tomorrow. But the idea of Yu walking into a vacant, lonely house gnawed at him. He wanted to give him alone time if he needed it, but…
Luckily, Yu decided for him. “Could you…Would you stay here tonight?” His Partner asked hesitantly, scuffing the toe of his shoe against the ground and refusing eye contact. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”
Thank God. “Well, that’s a happy coincidence, because I also don’t want you to be alone right now. I’ll stay, Teddie can let Mom know where I am.”
Yu nodded, and they finally left the freezing stoop for the slightly-less-freezing foyer. Yu and Yosuke were often alone when they spent time at Yu’s house, but the privacy had never felt so oppressive before.
The silence seemed equally stifling as they lay on their futons that night. The creaks and groans of the house settling felt like gunshots compared to the blanket of quiet that laid over them.
Yu laid stock-still on his futon, with his hands folded neatly over his stomach. With the positioning and stillness, it eerily reminded Yosuke of someone laying in their grave.
Despite the fact that Yosuke had not felt this tired since he awakened Jiraiya all those months ago, sleep eluded him. After what felt like hours of trying and failing, he propped himself up on an elbow and glanced over at Yu once more. From this angle, he could see that Yu’s eyes were open wide, staring at the ceiling blankly. He hadn’t even blinked at the sound of Yosuke moving.
Don’t make it weird, don’t make it weird, Yosuke chanted to himself as he scooted over, dragging his pillow with him until he was halfway on his futon and halfway on Yu’s. He turned onto his side to face his Partner, shoving one arm under this pillow and reaching the other out towards Yu.
He placed his own hand on top of Yu’s folded ones. He felt Yu startle slightly at the contact and almost pulled away, but Yosuke stopped himself. He lightly squeezed and rubbed his thumb reassuringly across the back of Yu’s hands.
“She’ll be back home tomorrow,” Yosuke mumbled, too scared to look at his Partner’s face.
After a moment, Yosuke moved to pull his hand away, but as soon as he started to pull back Yu grabbed Yosuke’s hand again. He held them there like that for a moment, and then interlaced their fingers, laying their clasped hands between them. Yu’s hand was rough and callused from swinging his swords around and slightly clammy, but Yosuke wouldn’t have let it go for the world.
Yosuke thought that he heard Yu whisper something back to him, but he didn't catch it. Instead, he focused on the rhythmic rise and fall of Yu’s breathing and the feeling of Yu’s hand in his own, and fell into a light and uneasy sleep.
Yosuke was half-right. Nanako was rescued the next day, but she didn’t come home.
Yosuke found himself torn between relief she was alive and fear that she wouldn't recover. Even going as fast as they could, who is to say that they hadn’t been too slow? That the fog didn’t do irreversible damage?
He wanted to kick himself after he wondered aloud if the doctors could help Nanako. The look of abject terror on Yu’s face after he said it tempted him to literally flee the room from guilt. Yu didn’t need to deal with his stupid mouth on top of everything else.
Despite the fact that they technically succeeded, Yosuke didn’t feel much better. Yes, Nanako was safe from shadows and crazed deliverymen, but it was much harder to protect her from an illness no one could detect the exact cause of. He felt more powerless than ever.
Not to mention the fact that Namatame’s shadow sucked. Like, even more than usual. The look of horror on Yu’s face as Yosuke lunged at him with his kunai was burned on the back of his eyelids. The normal ailments were bad enough, but feeling his own body get hijacked and try to murder his best friend was hellish.
Speaking of hell, the fluorescent halls of Inaba Municipal Hospital were starting to feel awfully similar to it. Maybe closer to Purgatory, at the very least. He would be thrilled if he could go the rest of his life without ever hearing the rhythmic beeping of machines or smelling the harsh scent of antiseptic.
At least his headphones could do something about the beeping. Yosuke tilted his head back against the bland, beige wall and closed his eyes as he waited for his Partner in the hospital’s waiting room. He had switched to his most aggressive, driving playlist in an attempt to stave off sleep, but his eyes burned too bad to not at least close them as he waited.
Yosuke was just starting to drift off despite the blaring music when he felt someone tap him lightly on the shoulder. He opened his eyes to see Yu standing over him, face grim. Yosuke tugged his headphones down to rest around his neck and stretched as he stood up. He couldn’t have been waiting for more than an hour, but his muscles were always stiff after fighting in the TV world. Especially when they fought as hard as they did today.
Yu looked drained. The bags under his eyes were darker than they were yesterday, which didn’t seem possible. He was walking slower and more carefully than usual, which meant that he was either incredibly sore or trying not to aggravate an injury he had hidden. Or both, knowing him.
But, the scarily blank expression from yesterday was nowhere to be seen, and Yosuke marked that down as a victory. He could handle exhaustion, anxiety, and unease. He couldn’t handle seeing his Partner that again.
This time, they didn’t discuss it beforehand. They both walked out of the hospital and headed towards Yu’s house without saying a word. Yosuke had already told his mom that he was staying with Yu tonight. Honestly, with how much she had been fretting about Yu after she found out what happened to Dojima and Nanako, Yosuke was surprised that she hadn't insisted that Yu come stay with the Hanamura’s until Dojima was discharged.
She didn’t need to worry. Yosuke was bound and determined to take care of Yu as much as the other boy would let him. He wasn’t exactly a natural nurturer like Yu; Yosuke had once caught him working at the daycare on the hill and almost fell over in laughter at the sight of three children crawling all over him like he was their personal jungle gym. But for reasons he didn’t feel like examining right now, mother-henning his Partner tended to come naturally to him.
Which is how he ended up red as a tomato, trying to contain his composure as he sat on the couch. Because, without thinking, he had asked Yu if he could give him a shoulder rub.
He knew that Yu had to be sore. He constantly saw him rolling his neck and shoulders while he took his fighting stance in the TV world. Even without the physical indicator, swinging around those heavy swords would leave anyone aching.
And so, when he saw him rolling out his shoulder for the millionth time as he stepped out of the bathroom, freshly showered and clad in sweatpants and a loose t-shirt, he had spoken automatically.
“Dude, can I give you a shoulder massage or something?”
Yosuke was happy to see a little more color on his Partner’s cheeks, but he didn’t mean to make him turn that red. It was strange to see him blushing in the first place; Yu was notoriously unflappable.
Yosuke instantly started scrambling. “I mean, your shoulder seems like it hurts—I didn’t mean to—I’m sorry, I’ll—”
Yu took mercy on him by cutting him off. “It does hurt.” He grimaced a bit. “It normally does after fighting. Something’s probably wrong with my form, because I pull my shoulder a lot.” He bit his lip and looked away. “You don’t have to, though. Only if you want to.”
“I do! I mean, not like that—like–, I’m not trying to—” He stopped himself and let out a heavy exhale. “I-I’m just gonna stop now.”
Yu let out a bright peal of laughter, the kind that had him throwing his head back and holding his stomach. Yosuke’s embarrassment was overshadowed by the joy he felt at the sound. He let out a small chuckle of his own and checked a pillow at Yu, who caught it easily and tossed it back on the couch.
“Shower’s open,” Yu told him. “You can get your hands on me when you have less shadow gunk in your hair.”
Yosuke made a mock-offended face, but headed that way. He did feel nasty. Even when they hadn’t had a marathon battle like today, something about the fog in the TV world seemed to leave a weird film on his skin.
Yosuke did his very best to not freak out as he showered. It was totally platonic and normal for friends to give each other back rubs. It was only weird if he made it weird. He just had to turn off his normal knee-jerk reaction to make everything weird and a thing. He grabbed a small bottle of lotion from the bathroom before he stepped back out into the living room and prepared to put on the best performance of normalcy in his entire career.
Yu had some action movie playing on the TV when he walked in. He was sitting on the ground, with his back resting up against the couch cushions and his legs stretching out towards the kotatsu. His eyes were facing the screen, but he didn’t seem to be absorbing much of what was happening on it.
Yosuke cleared his throat to get his attention. “Alright, Partner. Shirt off. And scoot forward.”
Yu very kindly did not draw attention to Yosuke’s flushed face. In fact, he didn’t say anything. Or move. He kept staring at Yosuke with those wide, grey eyes. If Yosuke felt uncomfortable before, now he felt like he was going to crawl out of his skin and die.
He couldn’t take it anymore. “Uh, Partner?”
That seemed to snap Yu out of his daze. “Sorry, Yosuke, what?”
“You kinda gotta take your shirt off. And move so I can sit behind you.”
Yu blinked. “Yeah, sorry.” He pulled his shirt off in one smooth motion and scooted forward so he was up against the table. Yosuke pulled a floor cushion over and kneeled behind him, grateful that Yu wouldn’t have a way to see his face.
He did his very best to keep his thoughts under control. He had seen Yu shirtless before; it shouldn’t be a big deal. He knew Yu was muscular. Though Yosuke had definitely toned up from their battles in the TV, he was built for speed, not power. Yu was, well, built.
Yu also had a red, irritated scratch on his ribs, as if someone was aiming to stab him and he barely managed to sidestep out of the way. Which was probably exactly what had happened. Yosuke clenched his teeth at the sight, and tried to tamp down his frustration at his Partner’s refusal to take care of himself as well as he did others.
He placed his hand next to the graze, tracing an invisible line parallel to the injury. He was just barely brushing his skin, but Yu shuddered at the touch anyway.
“Why did you not let Yukiko heal this? Or heal it yourself?”
Yu turned his head to glance at Yosuke over his shoulder. “I didn’t notice it until we got home.”
Yosuke wasn’t sure if he believed him, but he chose not to push it. “Does it hurt?”
“No. It’s not deep at all. Just a scratch. I put bactine on it.”
Yosuke nodded, but there was a knot in his stomach. Did Yu often patch himself up at home? He cringed at the thought, but returned to the task at hand. He squeezed out a small bit of lotion into his palm and swept it across his shoulders. Yu tensed at the cold first contact, but relaxed as the lotion warmed up under Yosuke’s hands.
Yosuke didn’t strictly know what he was doing, but he thought he was doing a decent job. He pressed down in long, firm strokes, following where he kind of remembered the muscle groups being. When he found a knot, he gently pressed into it with his thumbs, smoothing over the skin until he felt it release. The first time he worked one out, Yu let out a deep groan that sent a spike of heat directly through Yosuke. He immediately began thinking of naked old people as a defense mechanism.
Yosuke lost track of time. The process of running his hands of Yu’s warm skin, finding tense spots, and working them out was sort of soothing. He also felt a deep sense of satisfaction that grew the more Yu melted into the table.
But, after a while, Yosuke was worried that Yu might’ve actually fallen asleep. Not wanting to wake him up if he had, he softly tapped him on the shoulder. Yu turned to look at him over his shoulder with a sleepy look on his face, eyes half closed. Yosuke felt his heart swell with pride as he noted that Yu looked serene and content, the most he had since Nanako was kidnapped. Maybe he did have a knack for this caretaking thing.
Yosuke kept a hand on Yu’s shoulder and rubbed soothing circles with his thumb as he said, “I think it’s about time for bed, Partner. We have school tomorrow.”
Yu groaned and sat up, rubbing the heels of his palms against his eyes. “Don’t remind me.”
Yosuke gave him a sympathetic look. “I don’t think anyone would blame you for skipping. I’m sure the whole town has heard the news by now.”
Yu looked away. “I would.”
“Well, I wouldn’t.” He softened his voice. “You’ve been through hell, Yu. Taking care of yourself isn’t slacking.”
“I think you’ve been taking care of me better than I ever could.” Yu got a serious look on his face. “Thank you for that, Yosuke,” he said quietly. “For…everything.”
Yosuke beamed at him. “Anytime.”
The pair went upstairs and retired to their futons. This time, the exhaustion beat out his stressors. Yosuke was unconscious before his thoughts could run wild.