Chapter Text
It all started innocently enough.
Come to think of it, they probably ignored it because, at the time, they had much bigger problems than the SDN’s socials.
They were still in the middle of trying to catch Rapture and stop him from creating a full-scale hate movement against metahumans, so the video of Flambae at the bar, saying “Stay in school, kids, don’t let the internet teach you nonsense” going mildly viral wasn’t a concern.
The tech team watched the analytics and the marketing and press teams watched public opinion, so any comments related to that event never even made it to the Z-Team.
Chad remembered that night for far different reasons –he was sure Robert did, too, the lightly scorched handprint on his ass lasted a day or two.
Then, once Melvin was captured and his very public kiss with Mecha Man exploded all over Torrance, though, he did brace himself for an uptick in his social media presence, whether he liked it or not: upon Robert’s advice, he locked his privacy settings tighter than his latex corset-pants and privated anything that could even remotely be used against him.
Not that there was much to use… yes, he had a very wild and free sexual conduct before Robert, but he owned up to it and wouldn’t deny it even on national television –his known attitude making it easier for him to “yes, and” anyone trying to shame him. Yes, he had a criminal record, it was part and parcel of being in the Phoenix Program in the first place and he was learning not to be ashamed of his past, considering it led to his present.
It was a work in progress, but still –he was prepared for whatever the spotlight of being Mecha Man’s other half would bring… or he thought so.
He was not prepared for the internet to like him.
Apparently, his “nonsense” comment went viral enough that it got captioned and made into gifs, and people were posting it as a reaction image under anything from conspiracy theories to mildly broke takes about Netflix series.
Then, people started going back and found both his interview for that stupid Bone Zone podcast and the time Robert sent him to a dating show.
Which brought Chad to where he was now: after trying to track down the source of the fascination with him in particular, he was looking at a list of his apparently “best quotes”:
“I skipped the closet and went right to the club.” (776 comments)
lexie92: Legend. What a thing to say in response to being called a “closeted homosexual” on the Bone Zone.
> CityFace: lmao, right??? like, homie walks around in a flaming leotard with more cleavage than Jessica Rabbit, was it ever a question?
legalize_catboys: honestly, I thought he was kind of a dick at first, but we stan a queer king with a redemption arc
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[Fan Submission] “The Gays WILL step in if the cis-hets don’t stop with their shit.” (832 comments)
Mod_Stella: Sent by a client that Flambae rescued from her dipshit boyfriend, apparently it’s verbatim.
FieryFemmeFatale: absolute king shit. 👏THEY 👏ARE 👏NOT👏 LONELY👏 ENOUGH 👏
> bossanova_babe: like to boost, share to recast
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“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heav’n of Hell, a Hell of Heav’n.” (1168 comments)
LunaFreya: I still remember when this leaked. At the time I was just shook because, you know… rando trying to use a hero to immolate a bunch of people? Objectively terrifying. Now that I know they got his ass, though? Absolute BALLER thing to say to the dude trying to pass you off as the devil. Respect.
> lexie92: Not only that, specifically choosing someone from the Phoenix Program was extra fucked up, like how dare??? Bitches work hard to turn their life around and this fucking walking Colgate ad comes in to try and ruin it??? FUCK THAT! What, is redemption only a thing for those who conform?
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[Fan Submission] “Flying fucking slaps.” (486 comments)
Mod_Artie: Sent by someone who saw Flambae just coming off a rescue and shooting the shit with the other hero he was with.
> Prism-stan-n1: Was it Prism? I bet it was Prism.
>> Bmdd: I think they said it was Golem, actually. You know, big rock dude?
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LunaFreya: I mean… I can’t fly, but yeah, it would fucking slap.
-
Chad was more than a little confused. So many of the posts weren’t even about Mecha Man, or his relationship with Mecha Man. It seemed like people on the internet just… thought he was funny.
It honestly weirded him the fuck out –he’d never been “well liked”, before.
Prism, of course, was no help.
Well, she was, but she laughed her ass off first.
“Boo, how is this even a problem?” she asked, between cackles, “This is the definition of Hot Girl Problems. ‘My steak is too juicy’ type of shit… people like you, now. It’s about time! What are you so scared of?”
Flambae scoffed, even as he continued to apply her nail polish for their night out.
“Yes, yes, the attention was nice… for about three seconds.” He conceded, shaking his head. “Now I have to watch everything I fucking do and say, lest I get cancelled… and it’s not just my ass on the line, my shit will reflect on Bobert, too!”
Alice stopped him, just so she could take off her glasses and level him with a proper ‘Bitch, Please’ look.
“Welcome to every day of my fucking life, boo.” Yeah, okay, she had him there. He resumed applying the polish, and she continued: “Besides, I don’t think it’s that dire for you… from what I’ve seen, they like you because you have no filter. You’re the most authentic motherfucker to come out of the cookie-cutter, bitch ass hero factory that is SDN! Own it!”
Slowly taking in Alice’s words, he found himself nodding.
“Own it.” He repeated.
“Hell yeah! Look, if you ever need advice, I can be your social media Mr. Myagi!”
Now that sounded fun. He chuckled.
“Girl…” he sighed, “What would I do without you?”
She didn’t miss a beat:
“Post thirst-traps with mediocre lighting, and you know it.”
…Harsh, but fair.
-
Once they met up with the rest of the team, Robert didn’t seem too bothered by Chad’s sudden internet fame, either, nor about how it could reflect on Mecha Man.
In fact, the sarcasm in his voice was thicker than Golem:
“Ooh, nooo… the internet found out that I’m dating the infuriatingly gorgeous fire hero who’s not worried about swearing in public and saves children from house fires… I’m sooo ashamed…”
The entire team laughed uproariously, and they all started echoing Robert’s ‘oh, no’ sound, getting closer and closer to a Lucy Darling impression.
After the last “eoh neow”, Sonar dragged his chair closer to Flambae.
“Dude, you should capitalize on it. Imagine the sponsorship opportunities!”
“Vic…” he managed to fake a friendly smile for all of two seconds. “That sounds like an actual fucking nightmare. Our work is hard enough as it is!!!”
On Chad’s other side, Coop turned pensive.
“You know… people at the office might actually want you to lean into this.” She remarked, “Good for morale, helps sell the Phoenix Program… good for publicity overall.”
“That’s the part that fucks me up the most!” he replied, feeling slightly hysterical, “When have I ever been good for publicity? They called me ‘walking fire hazard’ at the office!”
“Well, they’re probably feeling real stupid now!” Punch-Up pointed out, gesturing with his drink, “When’s the last time any o’ them starchy-arsed corporate gobshites interacted with real humans, anyway?”
That was actually a fair point. Mandy herself was guilty of a few “how do you do, fellow kids” moments.
If all they asked of Flambae was simply to play ball a little, do a couple more things like the Bone Zone, then maybe he could deal. No more dating shows, though… for obvious reasons.
“Hey.” One such reason bumped shoulders with him, having switched seats with Sonar. “You’ll be alright. I’ll be with you, and eventually the internet will find someone else to bother.”
Hopefully sooner, rather than later –Chad’s fifteen minutes of fame already meant that Robert had to come drink with them with the Mecha Man mask on: he didn’t want people to accuse Chad of cheating, and Chad didn’t want Robert’s identity to be leaked… which was a very minor inconvenience, but still.
Flambae hoped that, by committing to the bit, he’d speed up the loss of interest and be left in peace.
At least no one was saying he was corrupting the kids, yet.