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Nico had a cane under his palm and dirt beneath his feet.
He was hiking—a familiar path, one he had endured many times. Despite the aching that made his bones rub against each other, he persisted.
He was fuming, even as he soaked in the sunlight and fresh air.
He wasn’t rebelling. He wasn’t being spiteful. He was just… enjoying one of his hobbies.
“Nico, we need to talk.” Will said.
Nico felt his heart drop in his chest. Will did not come in so quietly and gently unless he had painful news to deliver.
“Hazel?” He asked quickly. “Is she okay?”
Will nodded quickly. “She’s fine.” He paused. “It’s… you.”
Nico moved his knees up on the bed, hugging them to his chest. He patted the bed beside him.
Will moved the curtain slightly as he sat—it was dark in the Hades cabin, even despite the noon sun. The new windows helped… if Nico could find the energy in himself to actually open and close them.
“I think it’s time to talk about… other mobility aids, besides just your crutches and braces. Like… you know. Wheelchairs.”
Nico had huffed. It was stupid. How could he get around in a wheelchair?
He was strong. Even despite the arthritis that had been quickly developing in his damaged legs, he scaled the steep hills of the hiking path.
He was going off trail today, too. The sting of branches hitting his arms and cheek was a welcomed sensation, something that took away from the inner ache.
His knees threatened to buckle every time he bent them too far, every time he let them down a little harder than he intended.
He loathed it. He loathed what it meant. He loathed that the moment he sat in that chair, it would mean he had become so weak he could not even stand on his own two feet.
He reached the top of the mountain—against all odds and every fiber of his body resisting. He looked over the top and… collapsed.
He hit the ground with a thud. He realized, once he met the floor—he could not move.
He had exhausted himself so much he struggled to turn himself so his circulation wouldn’t be cut off. That was as much as he could do.
The realization set in sand falling to the bottom of an hourglass—slow, when you watched it—but the moment you looked away it piled up and was heavy and filling the entire space.
That’s how he felt, the more minutes ticked by that he was lying on the floor and unable to make his body cooperate.
Even when he tried to use his upper body—every move sent pain and stiffness so pressing that it was impossible.
How long would it be until someone went to look for him? He stormed off all the time.
”No!” Nico replied, angrily.
“Nico, please.” Will leaned forward, a hand on Nico’s ankle. “Here, this book has different wheelchair types for different purposes—“
“I’m not- I’m not some fucking disabled person!” Nico wiped away at the hot tears that tried to fall. “I accepted your braces and your stupid crutches and canes. I’ve accepted those. I’m fine.”
He hadn’t brought a backpack. Or supplies. Only a canteen of water at his hip—that he struggled to even grab from beneath himself—and his cane.
He had crawled over to it, clutching it to his chest.
He was scared.
”We don’t need to do anything now, I just wanted to talk about for the future-”
“Everything is about the future!” Nico stood up quickly, catching himself on the bed post from the head rush. He threw his hands up in the air. “Future this, sometime later that—“
He grabbed his cane and shrugged his jacket on, turning his gaze away from Will. “I’m going on a walk.”
It had been about two hours since he left. Two hours he had abused his joints past any point the braces could help. It felt like every pound of himself and the sky was bearing down on his kneecaps, forcing his body to bow to its commands.
He ached. He could not adjust himself well against the trunk of the tree he had shuffled himself too. His clothes were coated in leaves and dirt, and his brace was twisted on his knee.
Forcing himself to sit up was agony as his legs were made to adjust for it. Every touch of the brace sent white hot pain up his spine, making him grit his teeth at every tug.
Finally it was back in place. He was so hungry; he had stormed off before dinner, and now it was almost dark.
The first stars glimmered in the sky, as Nico was left to stare at it. He had nothing else he could do—now that his body collapsed, the pain was increased so much that more tears filled his eyelids at every shift.
He was so angry. Shadows flickered under his feet, and Will coughed at the thickening of the air.
Will pulled out his inhaler, but Nico ignored his own need for it as the weight within his lungs grew. He was filling a canteen in the sink, capping it swiftly and throwing it over his shoulder.
He didn’t say goodbye, he just slammed the door.
At some point in the night, despite hunger eating slowly at his stomach, he had drifted to sleep.
The best he could do was take off his own jacket to prop his knees bent, even if only slight. It left him cold and open to the bugs which crawled on his skin, but a chance at being able to stand in the morning was worth it.
It was early—barely dawn, with Nico only just barely being able to see the sun come above the horizon on the cliff-like hill, when he heard voices.
He could not hear them clearly, but he could almost make out his name being shouted among them. He tried to sit up more and gasped at the pain.
Looking down, his knees were extremely swollen. And it almost hurt just as much, where the braces had been left on all night long.
“I’m here!” He yelled, deep in his throat. He coughed twice, taking one of the last drinks of his water.
People kept calling his name, but his throat felt locked. The sticky mud and sweat that caked over his skin had begun to dry and crack in places as he moved. His legs and hips hurt so much.
They were getting closer. He could hear them more clearly.
The loudest one—Will.
He was the one that was closest and most quickly, voice growing louder by the second. Suddenly the bushes moved and he was there.
Will dropped to his knees next to Nico, hand wiping away the overwhelmed tears that had surfaced and finally fell.
Nothing else was important. Why had he tried to go off on his own? He didn’t know. But he was safe now.
Will had carried him almost the entire way back. His arms bulged from the strain, but he did not stop unless Percy or Kayla or Austin, who had accompanied him, practically forced him.
Nico was given a bath and laid in the private infirmary room bed, knees properly set up and painkillers divvied up in a meal.
He had slept again, exhausted from it. Will obviously was too, it looked like he hadn’t slept the prior night. But he ended up staying awake anyway, tending to the infirmary as Nico slept.
When Nico woke up again, it was to Will shuffling in and taking Nico’s pulse and oxygen.
“Will… I’m sorry-“
Will held up a hand and sighed. His hearing aids were out, but his lip reading was near perfect. He still had enough hearing to have heard what Nico said, though.
LATER. Will simcommed, I’M GOING TO BED.
WAIT. Nico signed back rapidly. JUST FIVE MIN—
NICO. Will signed firmly, no longer speaking. I ALREADY SAY NO. NOW BED I GO.
Nico felt a bit of embarrassment flood his cheeks. He had to wait. But gods, was waiting hard.
He didn’t mean to push Will, but he was more aggravated than when he entered. Will always said that he understood, that Nico’s habits weren’t always a choice just to be an asshole, that it was how he was raised and he was still learning…
But that didn’t make it any easier when it hurt the people he loved.
Will napped for four hours. It was three in the afternoon by the time he had emerged, hair pressed to the side from the pillow.
Nico spent the entire time catastrophizing, wearing himself down over so many hypotheticals that his fingers shook and anxiety was close to the surface.
Will walked in with nothing except a plate of food and still-tired eyes.
He sat up straighter in the bed, keeping his knees where they needed to be. He’d only gotten up twice, and his legs completely protested every movement.
“Here,” Will said, holding out the plate. Chicken nuggets, French fries, ketchup, barbecue sauce, a cut up banana, and a few slices of watermelon. All of his comfort foods.
Nico sniffled again—gods, he was a mess. He knew what Will would be talking about. He knew he had to compose himself. He knew all of these things but still found himself crying into air fried chicken nuggets.
Will let him, rubbing circles into his wrist. It was just a few minutes, but every second of them was punctuated only by silence and the rubbing of sleeves on cheeks.
“What happened yesterday?” The blond began.
He sucked in a breath and gathered his thoughts as he nibbled bites and chunks off of the breading. It helped him think.
“I… fuck.” Nico’s ability to process brain-to-mouth was limiting. “Angry. I was.” He looked down. “I’m not worse. Wheelchairs are bad. Can’t. Do.”
Will let himself process this response, and Nico could tell he was putting in his own contexts—separating the things Nico tried to say and couldn’t, with the things that he heard but didn’t really say.
Learning to differentiate plain language from the normally layered and complex meanings that people often had had prevented many arguments.
“Why are wheelchairs bad?” Will settled on asking.
“I’m strong.” Nico said, like this was obvious. “Disabled. For wheelchairs.”
The words were coming out all backwards and wrong, and he played with the corner of the blanket anxiously.
“You use crutches, though? And your cane?”
Will struggled to understand.
“Fuck. Fuck.” Nico pulled at the sides of his hair. “It’s different. Different.”
Will’s eyes flickered with annoyance, again—he knew it was difficult. He knew that he just wanted to have a simple, straightforward, direct conversation.
But he schooled himself and took in a deep breath. “Keep eating, I’ll bring you some of your things—do you want me to stay here or go while you calm down?”
Nico flitted his fingers, flexing his toes as he thought. “Stay. Quiet.”
Will nodded. “I’ll be right back.”
True to promise, Will came back with Nico’s weighted blanket and favorite stim toys. Nico accepted them gratefully, one hand twisting the tangle and the other eating watermelon.
Will had pulled a beanbag in the room for himself, swaying from side to side as he read over some paperwork easily. Extra large font for dyslexia.
Nico had eaten half of his food through little nibbly, rejuvenating bites.
“Okay.” Nico moved himself so he was facing Will, one leg moved so it could hug near his chest. “I’m ready. I think.”
Will nodded and brought himself a bit closer. He stole a fidget toy too, so they both had one.
“Tell me again. What… did you feel when I told you about the wheelchair?”
“I felt like—I felt like everything I’d worked so hard for didn’t matter. And like I was being forced, and I was weak.” He looked down. “I know… I’m disabled. In multiple ways. But it’s just different. I can still walk. And do things.”
Will waited until Nico was done talking. “Who said you had to only use the wheelchair?”
Nico looked up to meet his eyes for the first time this conversation, confused.
“Just because you would have a wheelchair doesn’t mean that you have to use it all the time.” He gestured out the door. “Think about River. She has a wheelchair that she uses sometimes, but she still uses her crutches or sometimes nothing at all.”
Nico’s ears burned.
“You’ve had to use your crutches way more because your joints are so stressed. Having a wheelchair will help, by letting them rest sometimes so they’re stronger after.”
Will stopped talking for a few seconds and let Nico chew on the plastic to think. He continued.
“Your arthritis is getting worse. You know that.”
Nico nodded. It was.
“And we don’t want to do knee surgery when you’re so young. You’re only sixteen.” Will got up to sit on the bed with Nico, thumb rubbing shapes into his palms. “You don’t need to make a decision now. I inform you about medical things and am your… well, I’m kind of your doctor. But I know when to be your boyfriend first.”
He placed a tender kiss on Nico’s cheek. “I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk to me about it more, I will never force you unless it’s absolutely necessary. I love you.”
The words were lodged in his throat again, so he tapped his own heart and then Will’s. He leaned forward and dipped a fry in ketchup to give to Will.
Will smiled slightly and accepted the French fry.
Nico was scared and knew he needed to work on his fear of himself and who he would become but… it was okay to eat comfort food and cuddle today.