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1. I Tried Really Hard (But I Just Can’t Help It) by Erolalia

   Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)  

   • Mature
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • M/M
   • Work in Progress

   22 Aug 2026

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
   • Shane Hollander
   • Ilya Rozanov
   • Yuna Hollander
   • Hayden Pike
   • Rose Landry
   • Jackie Pike
   • Jean-Jacques Boiziau | J. J. Dagenais
   • therapist-OC
   • Scott Hunter (Game Changers)
   • Ryan Price (Game Changers)
   • Troy Barrett
   • Dallas Kent
   • David Hollander
   • Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov
   • Anxious Shane Hollander
   • Shane Hollander Needs a Hug
   • conversion therapy
   • Shane Hollander is Trying
   • Shane Hollander is a Mess
   • Hurt Shane Hollander
   • Hurt Ilya Rozanov
   • Intervention
   • Internalized Homophobia
   • Shane Hollander Has Internalized Homophobia
   • Shane Hollander Has Panic Attacks
   • Happily Ever After
   • the writer promises a HEA
   • HEA
   • Trigger Warnings in Summary and Notes
   • Angst
   • Angst and Hurt/Comfort
   • Angst with a Happy Ending
   • Good Friend Hayden Pike
   • Good Parent David Hollander
   • Good Parent Yuna Hollander
   • Supportive David Hollander and Yuna Hollander
   • POV David Hollander
   • Heavy Angst
   • Bad therapist
   • Bad Therapy
   • Self-Hatred
   • Self-Worth Issues
   • Good Friend Rose Landry
   • POV Rose Landry
   • Warning: Dallas Kent
   • POV Hayden Pike
   • Protective Hayden Pike
   • Protective Rose Landry
   • Self-Harm
   • Implied/Referenced Self-Harm
   • religious trauma
   • No beta we die like Grigori Rozanov
   • Protective Yuna Hollander
   • Protective David Hollander
   • road to recovery

   Summary

   **TRIGGER WARNINGS**
   *Internalised homophobia and conversion "therapy" are the main parts of this story (there are also elements of self-harm). I promise a happy ending - Ilya is going to get a queer and allied posse together to fight this, but it's going to be a rough road getting there*
    

   Afraid of hurting Ilya, the disappointment of his mother, the embarrassment of the league and his teammates finding out, Shane makes a radical decision - he admits he's gay, and decides to stop. He embarks on a treatment of conversion therapy to make everything better for everyone.

   Or

   Shane understands only four words in Russian: Svetlana - I - love - her.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   46,199

   Chapters:

   37/40

   Comments:

   170

   Kudos:

   398

   Bookmarks:

   112

   Hits:

   15,456