Chapter Text
The circus was filled with the sound of quiet chitters and laughter.
No sounds of crying and berating that filled the sound of anticipation before another one of Caine’s adventures.
No sounds of loud boisterous talking that the wind would carry for miles.
No…Jax.
Three years, Thirty-six months, One-Hundred and Fifty-six weeks, or One-thousand and ninety-five days since Jax abstracted. Pomni was really the only one keeping count.
Around two years ago she started pushing for a way to get her back. To get her person back. Driven by her grief, she pushed and pushed and pushed until Caine and Kinger finally agreed to at least try. And from that…
The first abstraction, Scratch, appeared in the circus once more. Then the second abstraction. Then the third. And eventually they worked their way down the list, each de-abstraction taking a shorter time due to the growing team of computer nerds. Eight months ago, Kaufmo de-abstracted. It had only taken a month between his and Ribbit’s de-abstraction. The shortest time the team had managed to get. They were on a runner’s high!
That was, until they started on Jax’s de-abstraction.
For seven and a half months they have been working on her. The last person they took this long was Queenie and they had barely managed to get her back, her file nearly corrupting beyond repair.
Pomni had been there through it all, helping along the way. But when it had come to Jax, she started micromanaging and nitpicking every little move the team was making. Even going as far as to throw hot coffee at one of the circus members because they hadn’t updated her in time. At that point she had to be dragged away by Ragatha and temporarily banned from entering the work zone. The circus knew why she was acting like this. It was the grief taking over and blinding her.
Seeing Pomni’s grief, Kinger knew he had to at least do something. He suggested searching Jax’s room, hoping to find something- anything- that might - even a little - explain why Jax hadn’t come back yet.
And now here they are, Scratch, Wormo, Spike, Rattie, and Kinger all searching through the room that looked like a four year old girl had just thrown up all over. Kinger never thought there would be a day he searched through one of his kids' rooms as if they had done drugs and the evidence was hidden in the room.
Scratch was searching through Jax’s vanity.
Wormo was searching through Jax’s dresser, which was empty..
Spike and Rattie were looking at the photos that hung against the wall, hoping something in them would tell them something. Jax had taken photos with every single person who was in the circus. Most of them were of her and Ribbit, but there was at least one photo with everyone. With Gangle, Zooble, Ragatha, Kinger, and even one of Pomni during the gun adventure.
Kinger was searching around the bed, lifting up the pink fluffy bed cover, taking off the pillow covers, even taking off the bed sheet. They searched and searched and searched but nothing popped up.
Right when they were about to leave Rattie had tripped over something. When they looked, it was a shoe box poking out from underneath the bed.
The top of the box was labeled ‘RAGATHA’ in a scrawled and messy blue pen. When they looked underneath the bed they saw six more boxes, each one labeled with a circus member’s name in their designated color. There was even one with Kinger’s name in a dark purple pen.
“What are these..?” -Scratch remarked. Analyzing the boxes, unsure whether to open them or keep whatever is inside untouched.
“I-....I’m not sure..” - Kinger mumbled, sitting on the bed and slowly opening the box with his name on it.
Inside there was a polaroid photo of himself and Jax. A huge grin on the boy’s face, not one of the fake ones that Jax had worn towards the end of her days. A real, genuine smile. Kinger didn’t remember what adventure that had been from, but from the look on his own face, he knew it must’ve been one of the better ones. One before Caine went bonkers.
Behind the polaroid was a folded up paper, at least that's what they thought before Kinger had pulled it out and revealed that it was actually three papers taped together. It was painfully obvious that Jax had never taken a single handwriting class. The handwriting got clearer towards the end of the letter but it wasn’t much better. It took nearly five minutes to decipher what the first couple of sentences said.
“If you are reading this then you have obviously invaded my privacy by entering my room. SO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!! If you are still reading this then I’ve probably abstracted. I’m not surprised and you shouldn’t be either. Look under my bed and gather the other boxes and bring them to the stage. Give the boxes to the members and read the letters outloud.”
Kinger had stopped there. Was this Jax’s version of a suicide note? How long ago did Jax write this?
Wormo could see Kinger beginning to spiral out and took the note and box from him. “We should take these to the others.” - Wormo said, looking at the others.
“Are you nuts!? Look at Kinger right now! If he can barely handle the beginning of the note then the others won’t be able to handle even seeing the boxes!” - Rattie said in her high pitched voice, her brows furrowing.
“Rattie- this could be their last chance to see Jax’s words- to see what he thought of them!” -Wormo argued back, clutching the box in his tail tighter.
“She may have a point, I mean look at Pomni- she’s barely holding on. She threw coffee at me for goodness sake! She’s not well and this- this could lead her to abstraction! It could lead any of them to abstraction!” -Spike said with a concerned look on his face.
“But this is the last memory of Jax. These are- were his wishes. His last, dying, wish. We should be honoring them!” - Scratch said, trying to mediate the conversation.
“No! We should be worried about the people who are alive and in the circus! Spike is right! This can lead to someone abstracting! We can’t risk it!” - Rattie bickered, raising her volume slightly.
Suddenly, a certain chess piece busted through the door, glaring at them all.
“What on earth is going on in here!?” - Queenie shouted, having to strain her voice to let it be that loud. Everyone looked down or away, ashamed of being so loud that she had to come.
Queenie walked over to her husband, sitting beside him and taking his shaky hands into hers. “Breathe hun..Tell me what happened..” - Queenie whispered to Kinger, listening to his rambling about what happened. She looked around at the boxes and the other members before taking a deep breath and speaking. “We will discuss this like adults tomorrow. Bring the boxes to the pillow fort and leave them there. Be discreet about it, we don’t need the others finding out about this before we have all made a decision.” - Queenie ordered as she helped Kinger stand up and lead him to the pillow fort.
The others did as they were told and went off to their rooms to sleep on it and hopefully make a unanimous decision.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day after breakfest, they were all in the pillow fort that was somehow bigger on the inside than outside. The boxes were stacked on top of one another in the middle. They all sat in a circle, everyone looking at each other waiting for someone to say something first.
Eventually, Scratch spoke up first. “I still think we should give them the boxes.” - Scratch said, crossing his arms firmly. His mind was already made up.
“I-..I agree… After sleeping on it, I realized that this is what Jax wanted..and we should…honor his wishes.” - Rattie mumbled, everyone looking at her, surprised by her change of heart.
“Well I agree with Rattie!” - Spike said, quickly following Rattie’s decision.
“Oh my god you were just fighting to back up your girlfriend!” - Scratch said in a teasing and disbelief manner. Spike and Rattie both blushed and blabbled out excuses before being cut off by Wormo.
“I want to share the boxes. They deserve to hear what Jax wanted to say.” - Wormo said matter of factly. Everyone then turned to Kinger and Queenie. Kinger hadn’t touched his box since but he had calmed down. He gave one nod of his head before looking at Queenie.
“Well then… It’s settled. We will give them the boxes after lunch. Spike, Wormo, you two will gather everyone up by the stage. I’m trusting you both to not spill anything. Scratch and Rattie you two go check on Jax and see how he is progressing.” - Queenie said, her voice quiet and soft, a side effect from her abstraction.
Everyone nodded and took off to their tasks. Queenie looked at Kinger holding his hand.
“I’ll stay here with you and watch over the boxes” - Queenie said, looking at Kinger with loving eyes.
~~~~~~~~
After lunch everyone was gathered to the stage. Pomni, Ribbit, and Kaufmo sat on the purple couch, Gangle, Caine, and Zooble sat on the blue couch, and Ragatha sat on the red couch, saving a spot for Queenie and Kinger as she always did. They were murmuring amongst each other wondering why they were gathered. All of them silently hoping it wasn’t what they all thought it was.
Eventually the rest joined them, and they took their spots on the couches. Scratch stood in the middle and handed out the boxes. The new circus members looked at them confused and almost began to open them- “Wait! Don’t open them yet!” - Scratch said quickly, halting everyone’s movements.
“These were from..Jax. We found them in his room yesterday and decided to give them to you. Kinger read the first part of his and it said to read it aloud in front of everyone. We don’t really know when he wrote these and they may be a little hard to read- he didn’t have the best handwriting- but we will be here if you guys need help.” - Scratch said, looking at the faces that were starting to change.
The new circus members’ faces changed into confusion, shock, and realization.
“W-wait. You’re saying that these are from Jax!? That asshole?!”- Zooble said in disbelief, looking down at their own box. Scratch nodded his head, anxiously rubbing his hands together, unsure how to comfort them.
“Is this some sort of prank Jax made..to hurt us again..?” -Gangle asked, looking at Kinger. Searching his face for any signs of dishonesty.
“I can assure you that it’s not…I-..I would offer to go first but I don’t even think I'm ready for that..” -Kinger muttered, Queenie rubbing his back as his hands softly started shaking again.
“I will.”
“I will go first.”
Ragatha said, standing up with a strange sense of confidence that she had earned.
“I want to see what that bastard has to say.”