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Sam realized how much he took the normalcy in his life for granted.
Between moving to a new city, Micheal’s brief stint as a vampire, shooting a crossbow for the first (and hopefully, the last) time, and killing his mom’s boyfriend, he felt that point had been stressed enough. But why would anything ever be that easy?
Ever since Sam was a kid back in Phoenix, he knew something was different about himself, but he couldn’t place it until recently, very recently, in fact. The fateful day he met the Frog Brothers in the comic store caused the burning realization to shoot itself to the front of his mind. One of the boys in particular really set the discovery in stone.
I’m totally gay and super into Edgar Frog.
He had already told Micheal and his mom about the gay part, which wasn’t really a surprise to either of them, but he kept the crush part under lock and key. They would be supportive, of course, they had made that very clear but stating it out loud made it too real. He didn’t want Edgar getting hurt because of him. A very large number of people aren’t as accepting as his family was. He was already being called all kinds of names in school, and if some of those were actually true… Sam didn’t even want to think about what could happen.
Edgar was probably straight anyway, so why even bother trying?
Though, he did trust his best friends enough to keep his secret, even if one of them were a very integral part of it.
One night, the trio had decided to stroll around the Boardwalk for a while before finding a grassy patch of grass to lay on once the sun had set. Sam was flanked on either side by the two brothers, Edgar on his left and Alan on his right. Alan was sprawled out on his back, arms pillowed under his head. Edgar was on his side facing the other two, his hand holding up his head so he could hold a conversation with his brother.
Sam was practically vibrating from where he was sitting upright, nervous energy waving off of him in spouts. He was staring directly out in front of him, contemplating whether or not he should go through with his plan.
He was snapped out of his zoning by two taps on his ankle. His head whipped around to find the culprit.
“Earth to Sam. Are you good?” Edgar’s voice sounded next to him, making contact with his dark brown eyes that sparked with concern. Alan perked up as well, heaving himself up onto his elbows.
“Yeah, you look a little out of it, dude.” Alan added.
The hard pit of lead that seemed to inhabit his stomach decreased in weight at the look in his friends’ eyes.
“Yeah, I’m okay. I just… I have something to tell you guys. I-”
Edgar cuts him off. “I swear to all things holy if you say you're a vampire-”
“NO! No, no, no. That’s umm... No, that's not it.” Sam sucked in a deep breath before letting his words tumble out, his eyes falling to his lap.
“I…uh…I think I’m gay?” It came out as a question, and Sam internally cringed. The silence engulfed the group for a few painstakingly long moments before Alan spoke up.
“Was this not common knowledge?” Sam’s head snapped around the look at Alan next to him.
“I sure hope not!”
The black-haired boy sucked his teeth for a beat. “Oh, well, thanks for telling us… uh, Ed, you good?” Sam’s eyes caught on Edgar’s form, as nerves spiked sharply once again.
Edgar was looking down at the soft green grass below him. He refused to move his gaze, even when his brother called out to him. His breathing had sped up more than usual, and the tips of his ears were tinged red.
“Do you have a problem with me being gay, Edgar?” Sam’s voice shook, his throat tightening.
That got him to look up.
“NO!” Edgar cleared his voice, clearly flustered, “oh, um, sorry, no. I-It’s all cool man, I’m happy for you.”
Before Sam could process Edgar’s reaction, a sharp rev of a motorcycle sounded off near their resting spot. The three of them jumped and whipped their heads around, catching the sight of Micheal’s red motorcycle pull up. He saw his brother’s hand beckon him over the bright headlight.
“Sorry guys, I’ve got to go. See you guys later!”
He was sent off with a chorus of enthusiastic goodbyes, but a lingering feeling of unease settled deep in his chest.
*****
“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!”
Sam whimpered from where he was scrunched up in between the corners of the wall in the living room, hands shaking violently as he brought them to his mouth to muffle his cries. He could feel the bruise forming on his from where he hit the wall after Micheal pushed him out of the way of his father’s swinging arms.
He caught a glimpse of his mom standing in the entryway to the living room, clutching the side of her face where his dad had slapped her. Tears shimmered in her eyes as she watched his dad approach his older brother. He swayed for a moment, his drunken state affecting his movements.
“You don’t disrespect me in my own house, boy, you understand me?”
Micheal stood up a little straighter, tilting his chin up. “And you don’t get to hurt my mom!”
His dad bared his teeth before punching Micheal square in the nose, sending him straight into the hardwood floor. Sam cried out in shock, shrinking further into himself.
His father continued to beat on his own child, kicking him multiple times in the stomach. Micheal’s blood dribbled on the floor, seemingly reaching out towards Sam in thin, finger-like smudges. His mother tried to step in, but he immediately pushed her back with such force that she slammed into the arm of the sofa.
“SAM! SAM HELP! SAM!” His brother’s mouth didn’t seem to be moving, but his voice echoed around him like a taunting spirit. He tried to move towards his bloodied brother, but he seemed to be rooted in place. Hot tears drifted down his face as his brother’s voice continued to reverberate around him.
SAM. SAM. SAM. SAM!
“SAM! Please wake up!” The voice suddenly shifted, and his eyes flew open. He scrambled to sit upright, causing whoever was leaning over him to lose their balance for a moment. Sam felt like he couldn’t breathe, his lungs contracting from the panic.
“Hey, breath, breath, it’s okay. You're at home. Alan and I are here.”
The recognition of the voice speaking to him allowed Sam to finally take a breath, slumping forward and catching his face in his hands. Right.
He had invited Alan and Edgar over for a sleepover since Micheal would be staying with Star for the night. He peaked over the top of his hands to see not only a frightened Edgar looming over him, but a sleeping Alan on the floor. Pillows and blankets were awry on the floor, presumably from Edgar scrambling to help Sam out of his nightmare.
Tears pressed behind his eyelids, a few stranglers bubbling out of the corners of his eyes and falling down his cheeks. The images of the lingering nightmare, which was, in reality, a flashback, invaded his mind like a swarm of angry wasps. A ragged sobbed escaped his lips, and he heard Edgar take a sharp inhale of breath.
“Can I touch you, Sam?” Edgar whispered, the weight of his body sitting down causing the mattress to dip. Sam nodded his head, and he immediately felt a warm arm snake around his shoulders and pulled him into his friend’s side. He gingerly started rocking both of them in a back-and-forth motion.
If Sam wasn’t so shaken, he would be absolutely freaking out about his crush holding him so close, but nothing was properly processed currently.
“I-I-I’m sor-ry.” Sam blubbered, soft sobs slipping from his lips.
“No, it’s okay, I care about you a lot, okay?” Edgar dipped his head down to press a kiss into Sam’s hair… wait… what did he do?
Sam’s head shot up from his hands and stared at Edgar’s face. His mind must have just realized what he did, because Edgar immediately flushed. Before he could open his mouth to apologize, Sam made the rashest decision he had ever made in his life, possibly even more than shooting a crossbow at a vampire.
He crushed his lips against Edgar’s, warmth surrounding him almost immediately. His lips were a little chapped and cracked, but it was perfect all the same. Butterflies exploded like a volcano in Sam’s stomach as his brain caught up with what he was doing. His helpful mind also supplied him with the fact that Edgar wasn’t kissing back.
Sam shot backwards, scrambling out of Edgar’s hold on him. An apology was ripped from his mouth.
“Oh my- I’m so sorry Edgar I never meant to-”
Sam never got more than that out before Edgar crawled over and smashed his lips against his. Their mouths now moved in sync, their lips slotting together like a puzzle piece. Their noses collided with each other and their teeth clacked together, but it was perfect all the same.
Sam’s hands slid up from his lap to cup Edgar’s neck and cheek, the tan skin warm under his touch. He felt a slight weight of hands hesitantly settling around his hips, pulling him impossibly closer.
The two boys broke apart simply for the need for air in their lungs, hot breath billowing around their faces. Both of them seemed to be at a loss for words.
Sam felt sudden emotion bubble up in his throat. He tried to stop it from overflowing, but to no avail. A silent tear trickled down his face. Edgar must have noticed, even in the barely lit room, because he moved his face away to look at Sam straight on. Panic glinted in his eyes for a moment. His hands slightly retracted from his hips.
“Did I do something wrong? I-”
“No! Of course not, that was amazing.” Sam cut him off frantically, “I never would have thought you would like me back.”
“Why wouldn’t I? You killed a vampire within like a day of knowing they even existed, and I’ve spent years figuring out how to fight one. You’re just so… brave. You show your emotions like it’s nothing. And you're really pretty.” Edgar grinned back at Sam, who leaned over to peck him one last time on the lips before leaning his head on Edgar’s shoulder. Exhaustion washed back over him like a gentle wave, causing his eyes to slightly droop. Edgar must’ve noticed the fatigue-ridden weight that settled into his side, because he reached his hand up to tap on the nape of Sam’s neck to get his attention. He lifted his head just enough to meet Edgar’s chocolate brown eyes.
“Do you want to go back to bed, Sam? It’s almost… 3a.m.” Sam glanced back over to a still-sleeping Alan, who was still curled into himself on the floor. He then eyed the unmade blankets and dented pillows next to him, the shape of Edgar still evident in the mess. His chest tightened at the thought of being left alone again
There was no way Edgar would stay with him. He would realize how hard being gay is and leave him for some pretty girl he can actually have a life with. No hiding in the shadows just to show any kind of affection towards each other.
“Uh, yeah, we probably should.” Sam plastered a tight smile on his face before sinking down into his bed, his head hitting the pliant pillows. He spun to face the wall, not wanting to watch Edgar slip off the bed.
The feeling never came. Instead, the mattress stressed even further until a warm presence settled over him. Sam almost burst into tears from relief. He flipped himself around, his face ending up centimeters away from a beautiful tan face staring back at him.
“You’re staying?” Sam tried not to let his watery surprise show through his voice, but it shook slightly anyway.
“Of course. I mean unless you don’t want me t-“ Edgar cut himself off when Sam reached over to grab his hand and bring it up to his mouth, pressing a small kiss to the back of his hand and keeping it there. Edgar scooted closer so that they could tangle their legs together, keeping their hands intertwined between them.
“Sam… I think I’m gay.” Edgar whispers in the darkness, eyes shining from the slight light from the streetlamp outside the window.
“Oh really? Then what does that make us?” Sam giggled.
“Hmmm. I was thinking about boyfriends?”
Sam leaned in, nuzzling their noses for a moment, causing Edgar to snicker.
“Yeah, I was thinking that too.”