Chapter Text
Stanford felt a wave of dread overcome him as he adjusted his glasses to take in the view. The sight stole the breath from his lungs.
Gravity Falls was beyond recognition. The rivers, for instance, once a brilliant blue, were now inconsistent in colour and broke the laws of gravity as they trickled toward a sky that now rather resembled a kaleidoscope. A crater split it, causing it to tear at the seams. This was the gateway to another dimension, no less. Could this dimension support such a force? It was a wonder it had withstood this already.
Stanford caught a glimpse of something much more horrifying: an enormous obsidian pyramid had appeared.
Stanford almost stumbled back. He would have, if he hadn't been frozen in fear.
He turned to his family. Despite the grim circumstances, they seemed unharmed by the wave of weirdness that had stretched across everything.
"Great. Giant nightmare pyramid. Tuesday just keeps getting better."
His brother complained under his breath
He locked eyes with Stanley briefly. His brother was holding onto Mabel, shielding her whilst Dipper hugged onto his leg. Stanley's eyes narrowed with a mix of fear and disdain, so Ford held his tongue, pulling back a hand he had subconsciously outstretched toward them.
Just then
SNAP.
Their surroundings warped around them. Shadows cascaded and turned into dark pillars.
A look around was enough for them to realise they were in the pyramid.
There was only one being capable of this. Stanley was already looking around the parlour. Ford, too, eyed the room with suspicion.
"Show yourself, Cipher," Ford spoke into the silence.
"I've fought uglier things in New Jersey! Get out here!" Stanley chimed in.
Stan shot Ford a hard look.
Opening his mouth to speak again, Ford was quickly silenced by an ever-growing shrill cackle. The room seemed to shift around them. The triangular window glowed brightly, forcing each of them to shield or avert their eyes. The cackle seemed to shake the room as Bill Cipher manifested before them, no longer bound to his two-dimensional form.
"Look who's talking," Bill retorted, sounding more playful than offended, which only served to make him appear more menacing.
The dream demon pointed his cane at Stanley.
"You still have your moxie, kid. I appreciate that."
He gave an exaggerated tip of his hat, causing the room to tilt in Bill's favour.
"I could turn your organs into balloons... but I won't." He grinned.
"My display of gratitude for making ALL THIS possible!"
Bill's eye crinkled as though he were smiling widely while he outstretched his arms to get his message across.
"That brings me to my next point."
He tapped his cane thoughtfully, much like one would tap their chin whilst pondering.
"You see..." He floated closer, his eye scanning over each of their faces. "I've run into a bit of a... minor- very small... tinyyy..."
He pinched his thumb and index finger together. "...issue."
"This town? It's acting like a barrier. Literally neither I nor my weirdness can expand! Fortunately, the solution is standing right in front of me." Stanford felt his family's gaze settle on him. He clenched his fist and stared back at Bill Cipher.
"You can't actually expect me to help you! You're insane!"
"Sure I am."
Bill smiled.
"But you're not."
He snapped his fingers. Suddenly Stanley clutched at his throat. He was struggling to breathe. Mabel's eyes rounded in worry.
"Grunkle Stan!"
She took two hurried steps toward him.
"Ah, ah, ah."
Bill intercepted her with a wag of his finger. An invisible force pulled her backwards. All the while, Ford watched what felt like an agonising eternity as his brother struggled for air.
"Sooo, Stanford..."
Bill lazily floated around Ford's head.
"What'll it be?"
He smiled cheerfully.
"Or are the stakes not high enough for you?"
Ford's jaw tightened.
"Ah, IQ. Your greed for more never ceases to astound."
Another sharp snap echoed through the room. The twins were suddenly suspended in the air. A terrified gasp from Dipper was enough to shatter Stanford's resolve.
"Stop!"
The word tore from his throat. Instantly Stanley collapsed to his knees, coughing desperately for air, while Dipper and Mabel were lowered gently back onto the floor. Bill drifted so close that he occupied nearly Ford's entire field of vision. The demon's eye stared at him with eager anticipation.
The children's voices faded into meaningless background noise.
Ford had only one priority now.
Keep them alive.
He met Bill's gaze.
"I'll give you the formula... if you promise that, in return, you won't harm my family."
He slowly stretched out his hand.
"A deal."
Bill's eye brightened with excitement.
"Sure, Sixer."
He laughed.
"If you care so much about them."
He spun his cane lazily.
"I've got a whole world to conquer. How can I say no to that?"
His grin widened.
"It's a deal."
With that, Bill clasped the older man's hand.
Blue flames erupted around their handshake, sealing the agreement.
Bill snapped his fingers.
The rest of the Pines family vanished.
"There."
He smiled innocently.
"Safe and sound."
Another snap.
An image of the now-encased Mystery Shack appeared before Ford.
"Now..."
Bill leaned closer.
"The formula."
Stanford stared at the image.
Even seeing them safe failed to bring him any real relief.
He understood what he was about to do.
He had to sacrifice the world to ensure Stanley and the children remained unharmed.
The weight of that decision settled heavily upon him.
"Alright."
His voice was barely above a whisper.
"You have permission to enter my mind."
He swallowed.
"To retrieve the formula."
His eyes hardened.
"Nothing more."
Bill rubbed his hands together excitedly.
"Whatever you say, kid!"
Not a moment later, Ford felt his pulse hammering in his ears. The sensation of his thoughts being rummaged through was akin to a bad migraine. Bill wasn't being gentle.
It didn't take long for the pounding to subside. The formula had been found.
And with that, Earth was now at his mercy.
"HAHAHAHA, YES!"
A manic laugh shattered the silence.
The dome around Gravity Falls began to dissolve, Weirdmageddon quickly spreading and infecting the surrounding landscape.
CLICK. The sound echoed through the room.
Ford froze.
Something cold brushed against his ankle.
Looking down, he watched links of glowing blue metal wind around his calf as though alive. The final link snapped shut with mechanical precision.
He yanked instinctively.
It didn't move.
The chain glowed a dim blue and sparked with an electric pulse.
The chain wasn't physical.
It couldn't be.
Metal didn't glow like that.
Which meant magic.
Which meant there was probably no lock to pick.
His stomach sank.
Heart now racing, he spun around to confront the demon.
Stanford clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles whitened.
"Bill, we had a deal!"
The room, despite not actually changing physically, suddenly felt cooler.
A shiver ran down the man's spine as he looked back up at Bill Cipher, who was now radiating more power than Stanford had ever felt before.
"Ah yes!"
Bill grinned.
"The formula for your family's safety."
The shadows shifted, seeming to stretch in Bill's favour as his presence drifted closer.
"I don't seem to remember the mention of..."
His eye pulsed, shifting into a wide smile.
"...your name."
The air grew even colder.
Time stopped for Stanford.
Or had it?
He couldn't tell.
His heart lurched as the realisation struck him.
He had been deceived.
Again.
Understanding hit him all at once.
Of course.
Bill hadn't broken the deal.
Ford had simply failed to make the right one.
Thirty years.
Thirty years of knowing exactly what Bill was...
...and he'd still left him a loophole.
"You know that's not what I meant!"
He took a step towards Bill in frustration, but the demon simply floated backwards, maintaining the distance between them.
Bill didn't answer.
He simply stared.
One second.
Two.
Three.
Ford's confidence began to crumble.
"Do I...?" Bill's eye crinkled into a devilish grin.
"Let me see my family, Cipher!"
Ford kicked at the chain.
It spat a shower of blue sparks, but didn't so much as loosen.
"In time!" Bill quipped.
Before Stanford could protest again, his surroundings melted away.
The sensation was dizzying.
When the world settled, he found himself standing,still chained,in what looked like an ordinary room.
If flesh chairs and sentient paraphernalia could pass as "ordinary."
"Welcome to the penthouse, Poindexter!"
Bill's hand rested casually on Stanford's shoulder while his other arm swept dramatically across the room.
Ford immediately ducked out from beneath Bill's arm and stepped away.
"What is this, Bill?" There was a demanding undertone in his voice.
"Has teleportation fried that big brain of yours?"
Bill asked in a demeaning manner before giving Ford's head a condescending rub.
Ford flinched, squeezing his eyes shut.
Bill had underestimated his own strength.
"I just said, didn't I?" Bill spread his arms. "The penthouse."
"No, I mean-"
His attempt to clarify was cut short.
Literally.
Bill erased Stanford's mouth.
Panic crashed over him.
His fingers flew to his face, searching desperately for lips that weren't there.
Smooth skin met his fingertips.
No.
His breath caught.
He tried to scream.
To demand Bill undo whatever he'd done.
Nothing came.
His chest tightened anyway, the instinct to speak still there despite the impossible silence.
His pulse thundered as his thoughts spiralled.
How long can he do this?
Can he take anything?
Can he erase me?
His face reddened, and he felt tears begin to form.
He shot Bill a look that could almost be mistaken for pleading.
Bill finally snapped his fingers. Ford's mouth returned. Ford gasped.
Then coughed, even though the loss hadn't actually restricted his breathing at all.
"I think I prefer you just as you are."
Bill spoke as though he hadn't just deformed the man's face for his own amusement.
Ford leaned against the wall for support as he steadied his breathing.
"What... do you want from me, Bill?"
Bill considered the question.
He stared at Stanford, who looked thoroughly dishevelled.
It was a familiar sight.
One Bill hadn't seen in a very long time.
The corners of his eye crinkled upwards.
"Eternity is a long time, Sixer." He watched Ford's brow furrow before continuing. "It's not too late to join me."
He gestured toward Ford's extra finger.
"With that extra finger, you'd fit right in with my freaks!"
Ford stared at him in disbelief.
"Join you?" His expression quickly hardened into a scowl. "You can't be serious." He hissed the words through gritted teeth.
He stomped forward, his muddied boots echoing throughout the room.
"After everything you put me and my family through..."
His voice rose.
"You ruined my life, Bill!"
Only a few steps remained between them.
Ford lifted his foot again-
Click.
The chain reminded him exactly where he stood.
His chest rose and fell heavily as he glared at Bill Cipher.
The demon remained utterly unfazed.
"You can blame me all you want, IQ."
Bill's singular eye narrowed.
"But I know a part of you enjoyed our time together."
His grin widened.
"I would know."
He tapped the side of Ford's head.
"I've been inside that pretty little head of yours."
Ford visibly recoiled.
For a brief moment, he couldn't even look Bill in the eye.
"I've put the past behind me, Bill."
There was venom in his voice.
But there was something else, too.
Bill's familiar smirk returned. "But have THEY put it behind THEM?"
An image of the Mystery Shack appeared before them. Ford's eyes immediately lit up at the sight of his family. Just as quickly, he looked away.
He wouldn't let Bill use them against him.
Even so, he felt heat rise to his face.
"You summoned me." Bill's voice had lost all trace of playfulness. "You put your family in danger."
He floated closer.
"So, you see..."
His eye locked onto Ford's.
"I think it's in your BEST INTEREST right now to play house."
For once, Bill's expression was completely serious.
Then-
It vanished.
His grin returned as though it had never left.
"I have all eternity to wait."