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- - -
The room was quiet save for the gentle, steady murmers of love whispered by the family and friends surrounding the bed. It was a calm afternoon, soft and entirley painless, when Tim Bradford took his final quiet breath.
Lucy sat directly by his side, her fingers tightly intertwined with his weathered, aged hand. She did not sob uncontrollably, nor did a downpour of tears fall down her cheeks. That wasn't because her heart wasn't breaking into a million jagged and painfull peices, or because she wasn't watching her soulmate, the absolute love of her life slip away from her earthly view into a lifeless body. It felt agonizingly brutal, deep down in the quiet place in her chest but in that exact moment, the grief was softened by an overwhelming sence of profound peace.
And so she simply sat there holding his hand, with the faintest of loving smiles resting on her aged lips. Her eyes stared off hazily towards his resting face, serine and untroubled at last. In her heart, she knew this was the softest way for him too leave this world. After the dangerous, terrifying careers they had lived, surviving bullets, betrayal, kidnappings, and the chaos of the streets, dying peacefully of old age was a rare beautiful privilage.
As the quiet settled around her Lucy allowed her mind to wander back through the years, playing a silent, radiant montage of there decades together.
She saw her rookie year, all the sharp, annoyng lessons and tough love that had forged the foundation of there partnership. She remembered all the little moments between them that made her heart grow to love him, even if her mind hadn't known it yet. She remembered Dim and Juicy, those absurd undercover personas of there dopplegangers. She wondered where they would of ended up without that mission, as that was the first time she really remembers letting the lines and professional boundries between them blur. She remembered there second first date, the one with the better story that they did end up telling there granddaughter. Her mind touched softly on the agonizing heartbreak of that breakup they had survived, the ache of being apart and the tender, healing triumph of finding there way back too one another, healed and healthier and even more entierly in love and devoted too eachother.
She remembered moving in with him and transforming that dull house of his into a home together. She saw the sun shining on the water during his beach proposal, and then the emotional do-over proposal that came after they survived that terrifying kidnaping attack that ruined that glorious moment on the beach. But if surviving a joint kidnapping proved anything, it was that nothing in this universe could ever brake them apart. She saw there wedding day, full of tears emotional vows, and unfiltered joy. That was an incredible day. She remembered buying that bigger house with the sprawling green yard and the wooden swing in the tree after they first found out they were expecting a child.
She remembered labor and Tim holding her through it all, telling her how incredably strong she was. Then she recalled the sheer awe in Tim's eyes the very first moment he held there daughter, Liliana Joy Chen-Bradford. You would of never seen a softer man then when Tim was with his baby girl. She remembered watching there girl grow up into a beautiful, couragous woman, marking each milestone together; first day of school, then what felt like a moment later her highschool graduation, then her bachelors degree. She remembered the immense pride of holding there first grandchild, little Samantha. And then the summer later, watching Tim walk her down the isle at her wedding. She looked stunning.
Then came the restful, refreshing days of retiring together and the wonderous vacations where they finally got too explore the world hand in hand, then comming back home to LA to be very overprotective grandparents.
What a life they had built together. Oh, she was so imensely, endlessly grateful for it.
Her mind clung softly too one of the last promises they had made too each other just a few days prior, when it became clear that Tim's body was finaly wearying, and it was looking to be the end soon. Tim had held her hand with the last of his strength, his other hand brushing away her tears on her cheek as he begged her to promise that she would go on. He needed her too live the rest of her long life too the absolute fullest, too stay with there daughter and love her a little longer on his behalf, and to continue being the bright, radiant light that she had always been for the world.
And so she, despite how hard it was for her too imagine going on without him had made that promise too him. She would stay behind here on earth, and she would continue to live. Live her life too the fullest, not one of solely grief.
But she had made him promise something in return. Lucy had looked into his growing unfocused eyes and asked him too save her a dance, too promise her that he would be waiting too take her in his arms whenever her own last breath finaly came. He had smiled, squezing her hand, promising her that he would owe her that dance.
- - -
More then a decade would pass on Earth before Lucy's time finaly arrived. Surrounded by the deep, enduring love of the family they had created, feeling the warm morning sunshine resting on her face, Lucy gave her daughter one final, luminous smile, closed her eyes and let her soul take flight.
A sudden, glorious gasp of air filled her lungs. Pure, radiant, and weightless. It felt incredible as it moved through her, bringing back the sence of being alive, tho she also felt entirely untethered from the heavy mechanics of a mortal breath. Breath now felt entierly unnecessary, only for the idea of normalcy too bring comfort.
Lucy's eyes fluttered open, met first by a golden, shimmering light that slowly softened into a sight that made her heart stop. There it was... the house.
That home of Tim's she moved into when they got back together. The house they made into a home together. That little sanctuary were they had built there life, healed there scars from the job, and learned how too love without fear. It stood before her, bathed in a perpetual warm twilight, sturdy and glowing with an impossible sence of welcome.
Lucy took a step foreward toward the house, and an overwhelming wave of awe washed over her whole being. The crushing weight of years was instantly gone. The lingering aches, the stiff joints, the frail fatigue of old age had all vanished into nothingness. She looked down at her smooth hands and felt the vibrant hum of life coursing through her limbs. She was young again, restored too her early thirties, back in the fiery, radiant prime of what she would consider the best years of her life. Every atom of her spirit, her soul, felt light, whole and utterly at peace for truely the first time.
Tim!
The name echoed through her soul, her heart. Her feet broke into a run, her heart thumping against her ribs in frantic joyous rhythm. She flew up the porch steps, her hand trembling as it hovered just above the brass doorknob. She caught her breath, trying too steady the overwhelming tide of emotion washing over her. Was this real? Was he hear?
Before her fingers could finaly gain the strength too touch the doorknob, the door swung wide open.
"Hey Luce..."
The voice was a low, resonant rumble, light with a smile, warm as velvet, rich with a love so deep it spanned life times.
A ragged, weeping full body sob broke from Lucy's throat, her knees buckling as she surrendered entirely, collapsing foreward into his space... into his arms.
Tim caught her before she could fall, pulling her into an embrace so powerfull, so needed, it felt as though what was left of this afterlife itself was going too come down, collapsing into a single point of warmth.
He wrapped his arms around her, sweeping her completely off her feet, binding her flush against his broad chest untill there was no space, no air, no distance left between them. It was so tight that if they were still alive, he would of feared hurting her. It was so tight they would of had too worry about trying too breathe. But none of that mattered anymore so he just continued too hold her tighter then ever.
Lucy buried her face into the warm hollow of his neck. As she sobbed, she unintentionally tried too take deep inhales, shuddering lungfuls of wordless sounds too him. He smelled of home, of cedar body wash, clean laundry linnen, light rain, and the faint unmistakable warmth of his skin that she had ached for across ten long, agonizing years. She cupped the back of his head, her fingers tangling desperatly in his soft hair, pulling him closer, closer, as if she could pull his very soul into her own, because that is what it means too love. Tears of unutterable releif rained down her face, soaking into his shirt as she wept against his skin, all the lonely nights and heavy years melting away in the fire of his touch. She was a complete mess of emotions, but every one felt neccessary too express in the safety of his arms.
Tim held her with a terrifying, beautiful, feirce tenderness, his whole body shaking with the weight of her presence. His large hands pressed into her back, cradling her as if she were the most precious, delicate thing in existance because she indeed was. His large hands smoothed over her waist, her shoulder blades, anchoring her too him for eternity. He buried his face in the soft crook of her neck, his warm breath fanning across her skin, pressing frantic, tender kisses into her collarbone, her neck, whispering her name over and over.
"Shhh, Lucy, shhhh. I've got you Luce. Shhh... shhh."
It was a hug that held the quiet whispers of thirty years of marrige, the unbearable ache of a decade spent apart and the silent, roaring triumph of two souls reunited in the forever of the afterlife. Tim swayed them gently back and forth in the doorway, his heart beating a strong, steady rythym against her own. In his arms Lucy felt completely weightless and safe, anchored at last in the only place she had ever truely belonged.
- - -
When they eased apart, it was only by a fraction of an inch. Just enough too look into each other's eyes. Neither one could bare too break the physical connection completely, as they had spent far to long apart.
Lucy was still sobbing like a complete mess, her whole body trembling with tears of pure, overwhelming joy. Her fingers remained tightly knotted in the fabric of his shirt, clinging too him as if letting go even a smidge, for even a single second, might cause this perfect dream of a reality too dissolve again in her embrace.
Tim gently brought one of his large warm hands up too cup her face. His thumb moved in soft, sweeping strokes across her cheeks, catching every tear as it fell, his touch possessive, reverant, and unimaginably tender. He looked down at her with brilliant blue eyes that drowned with his own unshed tears, taking in every detail of her young, radiant face he hadn't seen in decades. She'd always looked beautiful. Always. But seeing her choose this form for herself brought him write back too the begining, those early years together.
"You're here," Lucy finaly choked out through her joyful weeping, her voice small, breathless and filled with wonder. "You're... you're really here."
"I'm here, love," Tim whispered, his voice a thick emotional rumble that vibrated right down too her soul. He leaned down, pressing his forehead against hers, closing his eyes just too feel her warmth. "I've got you. I'm here, and I've got you Luce. Right here... I've got you."
"I missed you," she wept, her hands sliding up too frame his jaw, feeling the familiar stubble, the warmth of his skin, confirming over and over that he was real. "Tim, it was so long. Ten years... it felt like forever."
"I know," he murmured, his thumb catching another tear at the corner of her eye. "I know honey. I hated leaving you. Every single second of it broke my heart, having too walk ahead without you." He shifted his hand, placing his palm flat against her chest, right over her heart, his gaze locking onto hers with absolute intensity. "But I was watching over you," he said softly, a tender breathtaking smile breaking across his features. "And I was right in here the whole time. Every step you took, every time you smiled at our daughter, every memory... I was right there in your heart, Luce. I never truely left."
Lucy rested her hand over his that lay on her chest, nodding through her tears, feeling the truth of his words settle deep into her spirit.
Tim thought noticing how her legs were still shaking from the sheer overload of emotion, he kept one strong arm wrapped securely around her waist. He slowly guided her across the room, stepping backwards with practiced grace toward the living room.
"Come on," he coaxed gently, his voice a warm instruction. "Lets sit down before your legs completely give out on you."
He eased her down onto the soft cushions of the couch, the familiar comfortable couch they shared so many moments on. He imediately sank down right beside her. He didn't pull away for a second. His arm remained slung over her shoulders, pulling her side flush against his while his other hand reached out too gather both of her shaky hands into his lap.
Just letting her take as many minuts as she needed for this too seem real.
- - -
As the quiet, overwhelming intensity of there reunion settled into a soft, secure moment, Lucy leaned heavily against Tim's chest. The rhythmic rising and falling of his breathing was the most comforting movement she had ever known. It felt surreal too adore the rise and fall of breath in a soul formed body that didn't strictly need air anymore, yet it was the exact cadence that had comforted her after hard days at work, after sad days, or after a completely ordinary evening where this steady rhythm had brought her too a peaceful nights rest for decades straight.
Slowly, her soft sobs subsided into gentle, trembling sighs, and the frantic flutter in her heartdissolved into a warm radiant peace.
With her head resting softly on his broad shoulder, her hand safely tucked inside his large warm hands, she finaly began too look around, really taking in the physical space that surrounded them.
They where unmistakably inside that home of his that she had moved into after they got back together. All the warm wooden accent walls and the large, long windows brought in a soft, eternal natural sunlight. It was warm and welcoming too be back in that sacred space they had crafted and blended into a special sanctuary entirely of there own. She let her eyes travel across the wall infront of her where the built in wooden shelves rested.
A deep, beautiful wonder took hold of her as she realized this place was not merely a static memory of that first house just as they had left it before moving too a bigger yard. It was a living, changing sanctuary of there entire existence.
On the mantel near the television sat a framed photograph from there wedding, the candid one of Tim holding Lucy in a deep hug on the dancefloor toward the end of the reception. It had always been there absolute favorite photograph of the two of them from that night. They hadn't even known the photographer was taking it, they were so thoroughly consumed by being in that moment of pure, unfiltered love that the rest of the world was just a blur. Beside it stood the framed deed of there next forever house, surrounded by a collage of Polaroids Lucy had insisted on taking during those chaotic, paint splattered moving days.
Every shelf in this room held priceless artifacts from the decades of there lives together, peices from this first home and far beyond. There was the carved wooden chest containing there retired police badges, delicate souveniers from there anniversary trips across Europe and Asia, Lucy's framed dried flowers from there vow renewals, and countles photo albums and scrapbooks lining the bookshelves.
Lucy's eyes drifted too the gallery wall near the hallway, where photos of Liliana spanned every stage of her life.
There very first family photo together was right there, taken in the hospital a day after she was born. Lily was wrapped up in that soft, bright yellow sunflower blanket Lucy's aunt had made for her. Next too it was her messy first birthday, when she had gotten chocolate cake all over her nose and hair.
There was a photo Lucy had taken of Lily and Tim on her very first day of kindergarten. She was standing infront of the school sign with a bright, gap toothed smile, wearing an oversized princess backpack. Off too the side stood Tim, tears running unashamedly down his cheek from sheer pride and the overwhelming awe of his little girl growing up far too fast for his liking.
There were dozens of her other school photos, as well as pictures from her various hobbies: dance recitals, painting, softball in the spring where Tim would help coach, and surprizingly, rugby in the fall. They had made sure she was able too do anything and everything her heart could of possibly wanted.
Then came highschool prom photos, where Lily looked so much like her mother, beautiful, brilliant, and glowing with a radiant light that was utterly remarkable. Next was highschool graduation in her blue cap and gown, decorated with all her honor cords, graduating as one of the top students in her class from all her tireless hard work.
Then came collage, featuring Lily in her Stanford sweatshirt on move in day. Lucy remembered sobbing hysterically, embarrassing her whole family on the ride home after dropping her off. But everything felt write again when her college graduation came, where Tim had cried unreservedly into his handkerchief, sitting right beside Lily's fiancé Nicholas, who held a massive bouquet of flowers and a proud, beaming smile.
Then little Sam was born, adding a wave of sweet baby photos too the wall. Beside those hung the pictures from the wedding, where Lily looked so remarkably happy standing up there at the alter marrying the love of her life, just as Tim and Lucy had done years before. Everyone in those frames looked like the absolute picture of pure happiness.
What a life of memories they had lived together
Seeing it all gathered here, seamless and preserved in quiet glory, caused a sudden beautiful surge of excitement too bloom in Lucy's chest. She sat up slightly, turning her body so she could look directly into his handsome, beloved face. The sheer need too share everything, too talk his ear off just as she used too do after a long shift, burst through her spirit. In her mind, she was frantically trying too bridge the decade long gap, determined too catch him up on every single second he had missed during those agonizing years apart.
"Oh, Tim," Lucy began, her voice rich with enthusiasm, her hands adjusting too clasp his. "There is so much too tell you. There is so much that you have missed since you passed."
Tim looked down at her, his striking red eyes brimming with an emotion so vast and reverent it defied words. The truth was, Tim had never truely left her side. From the moment he took his last earthly breath, his spirit had been woven directly into the fabric of her days. He had watched over her every single morning, sat silently beside her as she drank her morning tea, stood beside there daughter as she walked across stages, and hovered over every grand milestone, every quiet tear and every golden memory. He already knew every detail she was about too speak.
Yet as he looked at her sitting here in his arms, young, vibrant, and overflowing with that unstoppable animated energy he had adored for decades, Tim was filled with pure, breathless awe. He didn't care that he already knew the stories, what mattered was the miraculous sound of her voice telling them too him. He was utterly entranced simply watching her animated expressions, hearing her breathless laughs, and holding her soft warm hands in his. He wasn't just receiving news. He was receiving her.
He smiled, a deep tender warmth spreading across his face. He didn't interupt her, nor did he brake her sweet momentum by pointing out that he had been standing right there in the room for every single event. Instead he rested his strong arm securely around her waist, pulled her a fraction closer, leaned back against the cushions and prepared too listen too her with every fiber of his soul, entirely content too let her words wrap around him like a long awaited story.
"Liliana did it, Tim!" Lucy gushed, a radiant grin spreading across her face as her hands gestured wildly in the air. "She is a doctor now! Once Sam started kindergarten and Nick finished up his doctorate, they switched and she went right back too school. Now she's a sleepy resident. You should of seen her walking across that stage too receive her white coat. She looked so strong, so brilliant, so entirely sure of herself and what she was meant too be doing with her life."
"That shade of blue looked beautiful on her," Tim murmured softly, the words slipping out with seamless natural warmth.
"Oh absolutely! Andnick thought so too," Lucy replied seamlessly, entirely caught up in the thrill of the memory too even question how smoothly he chimed in. "He was sitting right next too me in the front row with little Sam on his lap. He was just as proud of her as I was, calling out her name in loud booming cheers when it was her time too walk. You would of been so ridiculously proud of her Tim. She handled every brutal late night study session, every tough clinical, with that exact same stubborn determination she inherited straight from you."
Tim's eyes crinkled deeply at the corners, a quiet profound pride gleaming in his expression as he nodded along. He remembered the exact color of the hall, the exact pattern on the deep blue lace dress she wore beneath the crisp white coat, and the glorious look of awe on Lucy's face. But watching her recreate the scene right now with her shining eyes sent a whole new wave of devotion through his spirit. He reached up, his hand gently smoothing over her shoulder, encouraging her too keep rambling too her hearts content.
"And Samantha!" Lucy continued, her voice rising with unstoppable joy as her storytelling momentum took over completely. "Sam has completely fallen in love with the theater, Tim. She auditioned for her very first community play last spring and she got one of the leads! She stood up on that massive stage infront of hundreds of people, completely unfazed, singing her absolute little heart out. It was adorable"
Lucy's voice started too crack a bit as her thoughts drifted into a deeper, more emotional territory.
"I sat there in the dark auditorium thinking about you," she whispered softly, her fingers caressing his wrist. "Thinking about when you would dress up with Lily when she was little, wearing those silly plastic tiaras, makeup and nail polish, letting her sing nursery rhymes into that cheap karaoke mic. You would of loved doing that for Sam, but thank goodness the girls got my singing voice instead of yours."
"Oh, so the truth really comes out now," Tim let out a low warm laugh, a rich rumbble in his chest that vibrated right through Lucy's palms where they rested against him.
"I don't think I have ever hidden that your singing voice is terrible Tim!" Lucy shot back playfully, her nose crinkling with infectious laughter.
His heart swelled as he remembered sitting in the back row of that theater right beside Lucy as he watched there granddaughter perform, his thoughts drifting back too the countless nights he had listened too Lucy singing sweet lullabies too get Lily too sleep. Now, he simply squeezed her hip playfully, his eyes twinkling with quiet amusement, silently conceding the point about his total lack of vocal talent just too see her smirk, because he too was infinitely glad the girls had inherited Lucy's voice.
"Tim, we have a grandson!" Lucy said, her voice bursting with overwhelming joy. "Liliana and Nick welcomed a baby boy a few years ago now. He is an absolute, unstoppable bundle of endless energy Tim. A total terror in the most wonderful way possible. You would of been completely exhausted and hopelessly in love within five minutes flat. I know you would of spent hours chasing him around the backyard, letting him tackle your legs untill you both collapsed laughing onto the grass."
She paused, leaning in even closer too him, her fingers lightly tapping against his chest too emphasize her words.
"Oh, they named him after you! Little Timothy Jace," Lucy revealed, her voice cracking slightly with profound emotion. "Timothy after you, and Jace is Nick's grandfather's name. Most people call him TJ, but a little running joke from Angela was that TJ is actually short for 'Tim Junior' because his favorite expression is this adorable attempt at a stern, grumpy face where he looks so much like you. He does it whenever he refuses too eat his vegetables, whereas you where always a total health nut."
"He likes broccoli at least!" Tim offered smoothly with a quiet grin, his thumb lightly stroking her hip.
"Oh yeah, 'little trees, more little trees!'" Lucy laughed through her rising tears, taking a soft breath before finishing with, "I kept seeing you everywhere Tim. I saw the absolute best parts of you living on in him, and it broke my heart that you never even got too meet him."
A profound, thick stillness settled over Tim's expression. He remembered hovering over the crib down on Earth, watching little TJ sleep, but hearing Lucy describe how she saw his spirit living on through the boy's eyes hit him with the emotional force of a tidal wave. Though he chose not too break her sweet comfort by explaining how he had watched over that crib too, the deep warmth in his eyes spoke volumes. He reached out, his thumb softly stroking the back of her hand in silent, powerfull gratitude for the legacy they had built, marveling at the incredible radiant woman sitting before him.
"Oh! And I almost forgot the most absurd part of the last few years," Lucy said with a sudden bright laugh, shaking her head at the sheer ridiculousness of the memory. "I got a pet Tim."
Tim tilted his head slightly, one eyebrow creeping up in clear silent amusement as he leaned in close too her.
"A cat," Lucy confessed, throwing her head back with a joyous laugh that echoed off the high rafters of the living room. "I took in a stray cat."
Tim let out a quiet, velvety chuckle, the rich sound dripping with teasing affection. He leaned right into her ear, his warm breath tickling her skin as he spoke.
"You?" Tim murmured playfully, his voice laced with affectionate disbelief. "Lucy Chen, the most extreme, undeniable dog person I have ever met in my entire life... willingly took in a cat?"
"I know!" Lucy defended herself lightly, swatting his knee with a smile that could light up the darkest room. "I know, I know!I didn’t see myself beign a cat person But this cat... Tim was difret. He just showed up on the back porch one rainy Tuesday evening. He was soaking wet, completely miserable and sitting there with this unbelievably grumpy permanent scowl on his face."
She looked at Tim, her eyes dancing with affectionate irony as she nudged his shoulder.
"He had this exact, specific little grump expression," she whispered, poking Tim gently in the side. "It was the precise face you used too make at me back when I was a rookie whenever I brought up energy clearing or pushed you too talk about your feelings on shift. It was your grumpy sergeant face in feline form. I looked at him through the glass door and thought, 'Oh great, now I have too take care of him, he looks just like grumpy cop.' So I named him Sarge, brought him inside. And every moring, for god knows what reason he woke me up at 5am like a rooster, so i would fed him salmon, then we would both fo back to sleep with him right at the foot of my bed every single day for about six years."
Tim chuckled deeply, a genuine joyful sound that resonated in his chest, his arm tightening possessively around her waist too pull her even closer against his side. He remembered Sarge well. He had spent many quiet nights sitting on the edge of her bed down on Earth, scratching the phantom space behind the cat's ears while Lucy slept peacefully. To be honest he didn’t even know the cat but when it arrived here in the after life on his doorsetop this time, he too the fella in, so right now Sarge is probable at the foot of the bed asleep.
"Who else... who else..." Lucy pondered aloud, her mind bouncing happily through there friends. "Oh! Angela is still doing very well, still stubborn, still ontop of most things, though I think she might be going a bit crazier with each year that passes. But when she made you promise that she'd live too be 100, she meant it! Only a few more years left and there's no doubt in my mind that she'll make it."
"Yeah, she's definitely going too keep that one stupid promise," Tim agreed with a rich laugh, shaking his head at the thought of his stubborn best friend down on Earth.
Lucy rested her head back against his chest, her heart overflowing as she continued too talk, determined too spill every last lingering thought in her mind. She told him about the quiet Sunday dinners Liliana would cook, trying desperately too recreate Tim's famous backyard barbecue and failing miserably every single time, ending up with everything burnt but endless laughter. She told him about how Nick still double checked all the window latches and door locks at night using the exact security routine Tim had drilled into him when he first started dating there daughter.
She talked about the quiet afternoons spent sitting in there old garden, watching the hydrangeas and roses they had planted together bloom season after season. She shared the tinny everyday details, the funny moments, the small triumphs, the quiet winter evenings, and the sweet lingering memories of the family he had fought so hard too build and protect. Spoke of all there friends from celina to tamara andany any miles that they had. She talked untill her voice softened, babbling like a peaceful brook, trying so hard too give him the ten years she felt he had been absent for.
And through it all Tim simply held her. He drank in every word, every breath and every joyous laugh, his heart completely open too her. He didn't rush her or interrupt too explain that he had watched it all unfold from afar. Seeing her so vibrant and eager too share her world with him was the greatest gift he could recieve. He sat back, absorbing the sound of her voice and the miraculous reality that she was finaly home where she belonged.
- - -
Slowly, the cheerful flood of words filling the room began too taper off, trailing into an abrupt, heavy silence. The bright sparkle in Lucy's eyes dimmed, replaced by a hollow gaze as the lingering reality of what she had just left behind caught up too her.
She stared down at her young, unblemished hands, but her mind was no longer in this warm golden house. It had violently retreated back across the divide, plunging into the dimly lit, tear stained hospital room she had just abandoned. She could still here the rhythmic, horrifying monotone of the flatlining heart monitor. She could still see the pale, still shell of her elderlybody lying under the harsh blankets, surrounded by the devastating sound of her daughter sobbing.
A sudden, agonizing surge of maternal guilt pierced straight through her chest like a jagged blade, completely severing her peace.
"I left them," Lucy whispered, her voice dropping into a fragile, trembling murmer that sliced through the quiet sanctuary.
Tim shifted beside her instantly, his posture stiffening, his breatakingly blue eyes locking onto her face with feirce, protective focus.
"Tim, I... I left them," she repeated, the words spilling out faster now, driven by a violent, suffocating wave of panic that threatened too shatter her soul. "I passed away. I died and I left Liliana, Nick, and Sam, and little TJ. I am gone. Oh God, Tim, I am gone. I won't be there anymore. I won't be sitting in the front row cheering for Sam when she takes her bow at her next play. I won't be there too hold Liliana when TJ gets sick, or when he wears his little backpack on his first day of kindergarten. I won't be there too help Nick fix the house or watch our grandbabies grow up into adults."
Tears, hot heavy, and devastating, welled up in her eyes, spilling over her cheeks in thick streams as a frantic, heart wrenching ramble took over her entire being. Her chest heaved with ragged, broken gasps.
"What if it was too soon?" she choked out, her whole frame shaking violently within his grip, her nails digging into his hands with a desperate, breathless agony. "What if I left them before they were ready Tim? What if Lily feels completely abandoned right now? She lost you ten years ago, and now she lost me too. Both of her parents are gone Tim. She was holding my hand and watching me stop breathing. What if she needed me a little longer? What if I should of fought harder too stay, just a few more years, just untill TJ was older, untill Sam was a bit older? What if I broke her heart?"
The sheer anguish in her voice was raw, bleeding, and utterly uncontainable. It was the devastating, primal ache of a mothers heart refusing too rest while her child wept.
"I can hear her crying," Lucy sobbed, throwing her head back as agonizing sobs ripped through her throat. "I can hear Liliana crying. I don't like when my baby is crying, and she's crying because I left her Tim. I left my baby girl."
Before her panic could spiral into absolute, unendurable agony, Tim moved.
He didn't just comfort her, he completely surrounded her. Tim shifted his entire body on the couch, swinging his legs over too sit directly infront of her, closing every inch of space between them. He swept both of his large, warm hands up, cupping the sides of her face with a firm grounding intensity that instantly halted her trembling. His thumbs moved continuously across her cheekbones, catching the endless torrent of tears, his touch possessive, undeniable and entirely solid.
"Lucy. Look at me," Tim commanded, his deep voice carrying that quiet, unshakable authority that had anchored her through the darkest storms of her life. "Luce, look right at me."
Lucy blinked through the thick blur of tears, her hazy tormented gaze forcing itself too focus on his eyes. They were filled with a love so vast, so ocean deep, and so profoundly grief stricken for her pain that it felt like a warm shield standing between her and the darkness.
"Listen too my voice, Honey," Tim whispered, leaning foreward untill his forehead rested gently against hers, letting her feel the steady, eternal rhythm of his presence. "It is alright. Take a breath my love. It is going too be alright."
"Tim, I left our girl," she wept, her voice breaking into a ragged helpless squeak. "I broke her."
"You did not break her, and you did not abandon them," Tim stated, his tone so absolute, so feirce and resolute, that it left no room for doubt too survive. "You gave them everything Lucy. You gave them every single drop of your heart, your joy, your wisdom, and your endless warmth. You stayed down there for over ten long lonely years after I left. You carried our family through the dark, you held Liliana through her grief, you were there for both of our grandbabies, and you poured your entire soul into them every single day untill your body was exhausted and ready for rest. You deserve too finally rest!"
He shifted his right hand down from her cheek, pressing his wide warm palm flat against her chest, right over her wildly hammering heart, pressing gently so she could feel the absolute truth vibrating into her spirit.
"They are going too survive this, Lucy," Tim murmured, his voice softening into a velvet, heart wrenching comfort that wrapped around her raw soul. "Liliana is strong. She is so impossibly strong Luce. Do you know why? Because she was raised, loved and shaped by the bravest, most compassionate woman too ever walk the earth. She has your light burning inside her. She has Nick right beside her, holding her up, wrapping his arms around her just like I am holding you right now. She has Sam and little TJ. They are completely surrounded by love because you spent 40+ years building a world of love just for them."
"But she shouldn't have too live 40 more with her mother," Lucy choked out, her hands flying up too clutch his wrists, her face twisted in pure sorrow. "She held my cold hand Tim. She looks so sad."
"I know," Tim whispered, a tear finally slipping from his own eye, glistening as it tracked down his rugged cheek. "I know how much it hurts too leave them behind. I sat right where you are sitting ten years ago Lucy. I wept for the pain I caused you and Liliana when I had too take my last breath. It broke my heart into a million peices watching you hold my hand while I slipped away. But listen too me... that grief down there, that tear stained room, it is just the price of loving as deeply as we loved. And love never dies or ends, and transcends life on earth entirely."
He framed her face once more with both hands, his thumbs gently wiping away her unending tears, his gaze searching hers untill he was certain every single word was penetrating her grief.
"We are not gone from them Luce," Tim promised softly, his voice rich with an undeniable, sacred truth. "In spirit, we are standing right beside Liliana and Nick in that hospital room right now. And they are going too feel that. In the quiet mornings when Liliana makes her overly sweat coffee like you always liked it, when she hears a song that brings a sudden smile too her face, when she looks into TJ's grumpy little eyes and sees my face, or when she looks at Sam's radiant grin and sees yours... she is going too feel us. They will know, deep in there bones, that we never truely left."
Lucy let out a long, shuddering sigh, the crushing unbearable weight on her chest finally beginning too loosen its deadly grip. She stared into his steady, unfaltering blue eyes, feeling the divine eternal truth of his devotion drowning out the agonizing guilt and lingering terror of mortal death.
"We get too watch over them together now," Tim whispered, pressing his lips softly against her trembling jawline, then her cheek, before resting his forehead against hers again. "From right here, side by side. Every single milestone, every performance, every birthday, every sunset and sunrise... we get too protect them together. No more distance. No more ten years of waiting in the dark. No more pain, and no more goodbyes ever again. You are finally home back here with me."
Lucy closed her eyes, letting out a shattered, beautiful breath as the last remnants of her anguish melted away into the absolute safety of his arms. She let her head drop foreward, burying her face into the warm, familiar curve of his neck. She wrapped her arms around his waist with all the strength in her soul, clinging too him like a storm tossed traveler finally reaching the shore.
“Yeah I am home," she sobbed softly against his skin, the tears turning from pure agony into profound, miraculous releif. "Oh God, Tim... You’re are amy home."
- - -
Still resting against the steady line of his neck, Lucy took long, quiet breaths of the weightless air. The terrible storm of her grief slowly receded, replaced by an overwhelming stillness. The familiar beat of his heart beneath her cheek anchored her, promising that the long decade of waiting was officialy behind them.
She shifted slightly, placing her hands flat against his broad chest as she leaned back too look into his face. A soft, tender curiosity bloomed in her warm brown eyes, replacing the sorrow that had held her captive moments before.
"Oh, Tim, I haven't even asked you this yet, but..." Lucy whispered, her voice smooth and rich with affection as she traced the familiar curve of his jaw. "Um... how have you been? I mean... what has your life actually been like up here all this time?"
Tim smiled, a radiant effortless expression that crinkled the corners of his watery eyes. He reached up, gently tucking a stray lock of dark hair behind her ear, his touch reverant and lingering.
"Since the moment you stepped onto that porch?" Tim murmured, his deep voice thick with absolute, unreserved devotion. "I have never been better, Luce. Not for a single second. My eternity only truely started the moment I got you back in my arms."
Lucy let out a soft, breathless laugh, her heart soaring as a playful warmth returned too her spirit. "Look at you, getting all sweet on me Bradford. I'm glad even in the afterlife you're still a soft romantic."
"Only for you," Tim countered gently, pressing a warm, lingering kiss too her temple. "Always only for you."
Lucy rested her cheek against his shoulder once more, her gaze drifting toward the large sunlit windows that looked out over the endless, pristine sky. Now that her mind was clear and her heart was at peace, her thoughts expanded beyond the walls of this cozy living room. She knew, in the deep quiet places of her soul, that this realm was full of the people they had loved and lost along the way. She wasn't surprised that they were here, it felt entirely natural, like a long awaited homecoming. But she was deeply intrigued, eager too know how everyone was faring in this place where time held no power.
"But please, tell me about it all," Lucy requested softly, tilting her chin up too meet his eyes. "I know more of our friends and family are here... but what are they doing? How is everyone living up here? Do you see any of them often?"
Tim's eyes lit up with a brilliant, knowing glow, pleased by her curiosity. He adjusted his arm around her waist, pulling her flush against his side as he settled back into the couch cushions too paint the picture for her.
"Where do I even start?" Tim chuckled softly, his voice a comforting rumble in his chest. "My mom was the very first person waiting for me when I took my first breath here, Luce. Just like I stood on the porch waiting for you, she was right there waiting for me. She held me for what felt like hours and hours, as I was completely devastated too have too leave you and Lily behind. I don't know what I would of done if she hadn't helped me through that dark time, staying by my side untill I realized for myself that you two are so strong, and that you were going too be okay down there."
He paused, taking a soft breath, as talking about the initial pain of his own passing was still a heavy memory too recall.
"And since then, she has been coming by the house all the time, asking about you and Liliana. She absolutely adores our girl by the way, and she is so deeply honored that Lily was named after her. But I think most of those early visits were just her making sure I wasn't getting too restless or lonely while I waited for you. She carries so much deep gratitude for the way you loved me, Lucy. And she is beyond excited too wrap her arms around you again."
Lucy smiled, a soft tearful warmth filling her chest. "I can't wait too see her, Tim. I've missed her so much too, and hopefully there will be a few good embarrassing Tim stories from this last decade that she'll have too share with me!"
"After my mom, do you want too guess who was the next person too show up for a visit?"
"Oh, um... maybe Grey?"
"Good guess, but no... it was Jackson," Tim continued, a wide fond grin spreading across his face as he shook his head with affectionate amusement. "He has done a very thorough job watching over everyone on Earth since he passed, he truely acts like a guardian police angel down there. Especialy for you and Angela. So he showed right up at my front door, finaly able too vent some of the lingering shock that Miss Lucy Chen actually got together with and then married her... well, what colorful words did you use to describe me back in the day..."
Lucy's cheeks flushed a light, adorable shade of red as she tried and failed too hold back a little burst of laughter. "Dick, Jack-ass, Jerk... of a training officer... Tim Bradford."
"Yeah you said exactly those words," Tim chuckled, squeezing her waist playfully. "Of course, he watched our entire journey together from afar, and he is so ridiculously proud of the police captain you became Luce. I know he can't wait too truely catch up on life with you in person, now that he knows you're finaly here."
A quiet radiant laugh escaped Lucy's lips, the sweet thought of holding Jackson again filling her spirit with pure, unadulterated light. "Oh, I missed him so much Tim. God, it will be so nice too actually catch up with him face too face rather then talking too his tombstone."
"I think the others who asked about you the most might actually be your parents," Tim added gently, his tone softening with deep respect as he felt Lucy shift a little uncomfortably against his side. "I know when Lily was born, the three of you were taking small steps too work through all the heavy tensions, the old misunderstandings, and those impossibly high expectations so that they could be more involved in your life and in Lily's. But they both tragicaly passed before more of that real progress could happen. Being up here, free from all the lingering regrets and earthly anxieties that weighed them down, made them really want too make things right with you now."
Tim reached over, taking her hand in his too comfort her as he continued. "They invite me over every so often too get too know me better, and too hear all about our life directly from me. I know they spend most of there days sitting in this breathtaking, quiet garden on the other side of town, watching over you, Lily, and there great grandkids. They're so eager too hold you again Luce. Too tell you how endlessly proud they are of you as a mother, as a women, and maybe after a few more long conversations, as the incredible officer you became. Whenever or if ever you want too see them, they are right there waiting with open arms. But we have forever, so take as much time as you need."
Lucy nodded softly, feeling a deep quiet healing wash over the remaining scars of her childhood. "Yeah... I think I might actually like for us too go over there together someday, and just talk."
"Then I'll be right by your side the second you're ready," Tim promised softly. "As for everyone else in our group, they are all happy and making plenty of noise up here. Nolan's big project was building this massive house completely from scratch, off in the middle of nowhere in the suburbs of this afterlife version of LA. I helped him out a bit when I first got here, but he already had most of the structure done. Now that it's completely finished, it actually looks really nice. I'm sure he'd love too catch up with you over a full tour of the place. Bailey is up there with him most of the time, and whenever she isn't, she is out somewhere trying every single new hobby or activity this realm has too offer. But according too Nolan, no matter how many years she spends practicing, art and painting are still the one hobby she absolutely sucks at."
Lucy let out a bright joyous laugh at that comment. "Oh, I'm so happy those two are doing so well! And maybe in a little bit I'll have too hit Bailey up for some of her crazy hobby suggestions."
"As for Grey, I'm not entirely sure if he has stopped vacationing since he got here," Tim teased with a grin. "It's like for every year he spent on the job down there, he feels like he has too spend double somewhere relaxing up here just too make up for it. But he was extremely proud watching you become captain Luce. And Genny comes over at least twice a week for lunch on the porch together. She's doing really well. Still annoys me sometimes, but I often go over too visit her when I know she's watching over her boys, and she stays with me when I watch over Lily. I know this will probably backfire on me, but if you're looking for the really embarrassing stories about me over the past ten years, Genny is definately the one you need too ask."
"Oh yes!" Lucy exclaimed with a huge radiant smile as Tim affectionately rolled his eyes in mock annoyance. "I was already so excited too catch up with her, but knowing that she has juicy stories about you makes me even more thrilled!"
Tim quieted down for a moment, a sudden new train of thought popping into his head. "Celina," he said enthusiasticaly, before taking a quick beat too gather his thoughts on how too explain it. "Down on Earth, I always thought all of her talk about aura, curses, and spirits was just foolish nonsense. But it turns out she can actually communicate with us up here in the afterlife. I'm not entirely sure how she does it, but every so often she reaches out too see how you're doing, and you'll actually be able too answer her now."
"Wow," Lucy murmured, her eyes widening. "I was always somewhat a believer in all of that, but maybe not too the extent Celina is! That is going too be so amazing, too still be able too talk with her untill she eventually arrives here peacefully on her own."
"And then there is Nyla, who has been living her absolute best life up here," Tim said with a laugh. "She's completely relaxed, thriving, and she already declared that the second Angela arrives, she is booking a long girls day trip with an endless amount of wine."
"Oh, I can definately see that happening the second Angela finaly makes her way up here and reunites with Nyla," Lucy said with a mischievous sparkling grin. "The afterlife honestly won't know what hit it!"
"Absolutely," Tim agreed warmly. "Though Angela is still down there holding out, stubborn as ever, determined too hit that hundred year mark just too prove a point too us all."
"She'll do it too! She's only got a few more years too go," Lucy said fondly, resting her head comfortably against his shoulder as a profound, unbroken sense of completeness settled deep into her soul. "Hell, maybe that trust fund money really does work miracles."
She let out a long contented sigh, feeling the soft warmth of his chest beneath her cheek. "Everyone is here, or on there way here peacefully Tim. We really made it too forever."
"We really did, my love," Tim whispered, pressing his lips firmly against the crown of her head.
Just as the quiet perfection of the moment wrapped around them both, a sharp joyous sound echoed in from the sunlit backyard.
"Woof! Woof... woof!"
It was a deep, instantly recognizable bark, followed immediately by two lighter frantic yaps tumbling over one another in pure, unadulterated delight, accompanied by the distinct sound of paws dashing through the soft green grass outside.
Lucy's eyes went wide, her entire body instantly straightening up on the couch. "Is that..."
Lucy practically scrambled off the cushions, her young completely unburdened body moving with effortless grace as she turned too take an eager step toward the back patio door. But before she could take another stride, Tim gently reached out and caught her by the wrist.
"Wait."
Tim's voice was a low, velvety purr, rich with an emotion so thick, heavy, and magnetic that it stopped her right in her tracks.
She turned back too look at him. Tim had risen seamlessly from the couch, stepping toward her with a smooth purposeful movement. The warm golden light pouring through the patio glass caught the sharp handsome angles of his youthful face, his striking blue eyes holding a look of such absolute, timeless reverence that her breath caught in her throat.
He closed the remaining small distance between them, stopping just inches away on the threshold of the living room. He reached out, gently taking her right hand in his, bringing it up too rest softly over his chest, right where his heart beat steady, strong, and true just for her.
"We have an entire eternity ahead of us Luce," Tim whispered, his voice dripping with an overwhelming sacred intimacy that vibrated straight into her spirit. "We have forever too spend with my mom, too hug Jackson, too sit in the garden with your parents, too catch up with all of our friends, and too run around in the yard with the dogs untill the end of time."
He stepped closer still, his other hand sliding around her waist, pulling her flush against his solid frame untill there was no air left between them. A soft, breathtakingly handsome smile touched his lips, a single tear of pure unbridled happiness glistening in his emocinally eyes.
"But I have been dreaming of this exact moment... just you and me... for over ten long years," Tim murmured, his voice dropping into a thick emotional rumble that echoed in the depth of her heart. "Because if I remember correctly, before I left you down there... you made me promise you something."
Lucy looked up into his clear beautiful eyes, her own brimming with radiant tears of endless, eternal love as her left hand slid naturally up too rest against his broad shoulder.
"I did," she whispered, her voice trembling with joyful anticipation. "I made you promise too save me a dance."
"And I believe that debt is still owed. So, Lucy Chen-Bradford..." Tim breathed, his head leaning down untill his lips gently brushed against the shell of her ear, "would you do me the honor of a dance?"
"Yes, away yes!"
Without breaking his gaze for even a fraction of a second, Tim began too sway.
There was no physical music playing in the quiet room, yet as his feet shifted in a slow rhythmic pattern across the warm wooden floor, a soft breathtakingly beautiful melody seemed too rise up from the very air around them. It was a quiet timeless song from fourty years ago since their first dance at thier wedding, one that was sure to capture the shared laughter, late night shift whispers, tears wept in the dark, and an unbreakable bond that even death couldn't touch.
True love spandes an eternity.
Lucy let out a soft weeping laugh, resting her cheek directly against his chest as she followed his lead effortlessly. Her arm wrapped tightly around his neck, her fingers tangling in his soft hair, while his strong hand held her waist and back securely her against him.
They moved together in the quiet golden sanctuary of there home, swaying slowly under the eternal light of paradise. Every step was light, every breath was easy, and every lingering ache of there mortal lives was entirely washed away. Tim pulled her a fraction tighter, resting his chin comfortably on top of her head, closing his eyes as he held his wife in his arms at long last.
They were young again, they were together again, and as they danced slowly on the threshold of this beautiful endless eternity, they held each other close, knowing with absolute certainty that no more shadows, no more distance, and no more goodbyes would ever touch them again.
- - -