Work Text:
Law had been checking vitals on a patient when one of the interns tapped him on the shoulder. Law grunted an indication that he was listening, watching the figures on the screen above the man's bed.
"Doctor? Have you been doodling again?" Asked one of the interns, and he could hear two of them whispering fiercely between themselves. Law stood up straight, looking back at the four of them, his eyebrows furrowing.
"Why do you ask?"
"Well, sir, there's a penis drawn on your forearm." The female intern didn't blush, but the other three did. Two sinckered, as though they were six year olds. Law scowled at them, shutting the two up before looking down at his forearm. He always pushed his sleeves up, showing off his tattoos without meaning to, though most didn't really care.
Until now at least. Looking down, Law was horrified to find a badly drawn dick on his forearm, and it wasn't the only one. There were at leat ten of them on his arm, and it looked like more were being drawn.
"Oh my god." He could already feel the blood rushing to his cheeks, and the patient in front of him looked at the newest drawing with wide eyes. Then he started to laugh. There was no way in hell this was happening. Jesus fucking Christ.
With the old man laughing even harder, he dismissed the interns and rolled his sleeves down already seeing more dicks drawn out. These looked nicer, a head and little fuzzies drawn on the balls.
"Your soulmate must be playing a joke on you, haha. My Edith does the exact same thing when we were younger, well, more before our babies were born. I remember working at the plant and pulling off my gloves to see a saucy little message from that minx-" Law choked as the old man smiled to him, trying not to let it get to him. Luffy was blunt, but not that blunt. Unless his soulmate had grown some kind of perverted conscious in the past 48 hours.
Law left the room with a hurried good bye, leaving the old man to himself for the moment. Once he reached the far side of the hallway, he checked his phone for any messages from Luffy, finding none. He was going to kill that little shit. As long as Shachi or Penguin didn't see-
"Oi! Law! That blonde intern told me about the mysterious shadow dicks, lemme see!" Penguin's voice was loud, way too loud. Law turned, fire in his eyes as half of the halls nurses stared him and Penguin down.
"I swear to fuck, Penguin-" Law whispered harshly, grabbing his arm and dragging him away from the rest of the people that were now trying to listen in. Apparantly "shadow dicks" was a magic word now. Fuck.
"Ow! Doctor, you don't have to drag me around like that, Jesus-"
"You are going to shut up and be quiet Penguin. I don't know what Luffy is thinking ok? They just appeared not even ten minutes ago. He's probably fucking around in his dorm room and thinks it's a funny prank. God, I'm going to kill that little bastard if it's the last thing I ever do!"
He'd drawn dicks on Law at work. While he was at fucking work, looking after his patients!
Penguin was laughing at his friend's tirade, looking positively ecstatic about the whole thing. The asshole. Law grunted as Penguin smacked his back reassuringly, leading him back towards the break room. "Poor thing, he'll just pout at you and you'll forgive him in two seconds. Though I'm kind of proud of the kid, I didn't think he'd have the balls to do something like that."
Law thought the same thing, or at least he had.
He put on three layers of the white gloves, making sure no one could see the dicks drawn there. He was planning all sorts of terrible things to happen to Luffy, such as stealing all of the meat in the house, locking it up in the vegtable drawer. Stealing the blankets, hiding his soulmate's straw hat.
Okay, even that was going too far. But something had to be done.
He left the hospital hours later, silently seething as he realized both arms were covered in dicks. None appeared on his face thankfully, but that didn't mean he wasn't made fun of for the rest of his shift.
Once he arrived home, he noticed the light was still on in the living room. Which meant Luffy was up and about, watching TV and waiting for Law to come home. Slamming his car door shut, Law jammed the button to lock it while walking up to the door, planning out on what he was going to say to his moronic boyfriend. Oh, he was going to rip Luffy a new one for all of this trouble.
He unlocked the door slowly, unbuttoning his coat as he walked inside. His eyes fell on Luffy-who was sleeping soundly on the couch, arms flailed out haphazardly. Before any thought of revenge could come to the forefront of his mind, Law couldn't help but think that his boyfriend was the cutest thing ever. Law kicked off his shoes, slipping on his house shoes, and pulled off his coat. He tossed it on the window bench, walking over to where Luffy lay.
He didn't say anything at first, noting that Luffy's phone lay on the table in front of his couch. Luffy didn't care if Law looked at his phone, but the weird thing was that it was unlocked.
Law sneered at it, picking up the device and tapping the screen. On the screen, Usopp and Zoro were drawing dicks on a sleeping Luffy, and Law could already see that Sanji was the one taking the photos. Smoking in his house. Those bastards.
There were six photos in all, all three taking turns to draw dicks on his unassuming soulmate until the last was all three throwing up peace signs.
"Oh my god." His boyfriend's friends were assholes. Assholes out to get him apparantly. Fuck.
"Mm, Torao~" Luffy's voice was gravelly, rough from sleep. "I missed you."
God, his eyes weren't even open yet. Law could've been some stranger or a murderer. "Hey Luffy-ya." He mumbled, locking the young man's phone and setting it down. He knelt down by the couch, next to where Luffy was laying his head.
"Have you been napping all afternoon?" He questioned, running his fingers through Luffy's hair. "I thought you had assignments due at the very least."
Luffy hummed, flopping a hand in his direction before opening his eyes, looking ever so sleepy and delectable.
"Zoro and the guys came by...I passed out though while we were watching Usopp's super hero movie. I guess they left once it was over." He hadn't even noticed his dick covered arms yet.
"Luffy-ya, you're going to be the death of me one day." Law groaned, leaning in to kiss the young man's cheek, making Luffy snicker in his funny little way. "I'm serious."
"Oh, I know. Zoro and Nami say the same thing." Luffy itched his cheek, looking ever so innocent. "Are you guys psychic now or something? Because that's super weird how you guys say the same exact thing all the time. And Sanji too."
Law snorted and rubbed his eyes with one hand, pinching the bridge of his nose. Luffy choked, and Law realized he could see the dicks on his arm. Luffy looked down at his own arms, looking confused before busting into giggles.
"Oh my god, Torao! Why did you draw dicks on yourself! Didn't you have work today?" Luffy looked both horrified and amused at the terrible drawings.
"Trust me, I wouldn't do that to myself. See what your friends did when you passed out earlier?" He tossed Luffy his phone, watching his face as he opened the screen and saw what his friends had done.
"Nice."
"Nice? That's it? Luffy-ya, I was at work! Do you know how much trouble I could have gotten in?!"
"At least they didn't draw them on my face! It's probably because you took those pictures of Zoro and Sanji making out behind the couch at Halloween." Luffy told him, almost matter of factly. Law nodded, hoping that for Christmas he could get Sanji drunk enough to draw something even worse on his skin, maybe scare the shit out of Zoro. That punk deserved it.
"Wow, they really did a number on me huh?" Luffy laughed, then looked at Law. "You didn't think-that I would do this, did you?"
Law felt bad for less than a second, before remembering what a complete monster his soulmate actually was.
"Of course not, Luffy-ya, what do you take me for?" Law looked positively horrified, faking that he'd been planning Luffy's death since his lunch.
"That's not what Penguin texted me." Luffy brought up, showing Law a picture of himself from earlier that day, his face red and eyes wide with the promise of death.
"Fucking damnit Penguin." Law groaned, listening to Luffy crack up laughing at his response.
At least he didn't have to ruin his soulmate, just his friends.