Chapter Text
My name is Kusuo Saiki, and I am an ordinary high school student.
If that intro sounds familiar, that’s because it is.
In fact, it is probably the last time you will hear it, as after today, I will be a graduate of the infamous PK Academy.
And while I have to admit, sitting here among the other graduating students feels almost nostalgic, there is a bigger part of me that is relieved to be getting away from here. After all, these miscreants have been the reason for many a mishap, and I’ve been at constant risk of being found out when I’m around them.
Found out? You may ask. Found out about what?
Well, you see, I’m a psychic. No, not one of those glass ball gazing weirdos, although we do have one at PK Academy (Aiura Mikoto, which you can learn all about in the official anime). No, I’m something different. An actual psychic. With world-ending powers.
I have telekinesis, telepathy, pyrokinesis, clairvoyance, and a slew of other ones not worth mentioning until there is a convenient plot use for them. I’ve saved the world countless times – volcanoes, meteors, that one time earthworms tried to take over (offscreen). And if any of it were to be found out, it would have catastrophic consequences for world peace. And as frustrating as it is, my daily life also depends on the stability of society. So I have kept my powers a secret for the last 17 and a half years. And I’ve never had a problem blending in, until now.
High school graduation.
It’s something I’ve never thought I’d make it to - mainly because I kept having to reset time due to an unfortunate world-ending catastrophe at the end of every school year - but somehow I have. And now I stand amongst my peers as we wait for our names to be called so that we can collect our graduation certificates.
But before that can happen, we must first hear the speeches of various important figures at the school.
Beginning with the class representative, Kineshi Hairo.
Flaming red hair, upbeat attitude, and somehow always sweaty (even in the air-conditioned hall). Hairo has been a positive, if sometimes annoying, companion. Although I wouldn’t go so far as to call him a friend… he’s kind of more like an aggressive personal trainer.
The crowd hushes before he even opens his mouth.
“LISTEN UP EVERYONE!”
Good grief, he’s even more fired up than usual. I can almost see flames shooting off his skin. Is the air around him flickering from the heat…?
“IT’S BEEN A GOOD RUN! WE’VE SEEN THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF HIGH SCHOOL LIFE! AND THROUGHOUT IT ALL, EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU HAVE REMAINED STEADFAST AND DETERMINED!”
I don’t think he’s talking about Kaidou, who is currently cowering behind me from the shockwave of Hairo’s optimism.
“AND WHILE THE EXPERIENCES HERE HAVE LAID THE FOUNDATION OF WHAT'S TO COME, AND YOU MIGHT FORGET THE SMALL DETAILS OF DAILY LIFE – I HOPE YOU NEVER FORGET THE TRUST AND LOVE WE FOUND IN ONE ANOTHER!”
Is he even talking about the same school? There was practically war every other Tuesday between the girls. And the guys weren’t much better.
“MY TIME IS SHORT!”
You’re not dying.
“AND MY HEART ACHES TO SEE ALL YOUR TEARFUL FACES!”
Only Takahashi and Kaidou are crying, but that isn’t surprising.
“BUT I KNOW EACH ONE OF YOU WILL DO ME, AND THIS WONDERFUL SCHOOL PROUD IN WHEREVER LIFE TAKES YOU NEXT!”
People begin to cheer, and I resist the urge to cover my ears. Sentimentality is such a pain.
“Yeah! We’ll do you proud, Hairo!”
“We’ll never forget you!”
“I hope you’ll come watch my soccer game!”
One of Hairo’s sports club members properly.
The noise in the hall grows louder as more voices join in. It seems Hairo is even more popular than I thought, if even a corny speech like that gets him an ovation like this.
Kaidou is still whimpering, and it almost sounds like he’s suffering from some unseen ailment.
“We’re so exposed here… so open to the forces of D-Dark Reunion.”
Ugh. This again.
‘If Saiki were to see me snivelling like this, he might stop respecting me as his sensei. It must be the plot of Dark Reunion to break apart our bond! Don’t worry, Saiki! I won’t let their fear rays affect me!’
Too late.
Judging from his racing thoughts, he’s most likely covering his anxiety from the crowded hall with his imagined enemies again.
Well, if that’s what he wants to do, so be it.
I turn my attention back to the front, just in time to catch Hairo fall face-first off the stage and into what I assume was meant to be a crowd surf. However, the kids in the front weren’t prepared for the searing heat coming off him, and dropped him splat onto the floor.
In true Hairo fashion, his pants slide down, revealing his famous bronze buns.
Good grief. He can’t go a single event without flashing us.
I ignore the onslaught of cries and apologies from the front of the crowd, craning my neck to get a look at the clock.
Gee, how much longer?
“HEY BUDDY!”
Nendo.
Damn it. I was so distracted I had forgotten to keep an eye on the one person I wanted to avoid in this crowd.
Riki Nendou. The great oaf, who just so happens to be the one person whose mind I can’t read. It makes him a liability, and he always seems to startle me.
“Sorry there, pal, did I scare ya?” He asks, leaning down to get a better look at my face.
Not that I wanted to see his face. It was truly only a face a mother could love. Which was convenient since his mother looked exactly like him.
I shake my head, gesturing to the clock on the opposite wall.
“Oh? Is there a bug? Lemmy, get it for you.”
Holy crap, he’s dumb.
The commotion at the front seems to have died down a little, and an unsettling awestruck hush begins to fall over the crowd.
I turn away from where Nendou was trying to find some non-existent bug and try to find the source of the sudden stillness.
Oh.
‘Here I go! Ready to give my speech as the world’s most Perfect Pretty Girl. All these unwashed students are lucky to look upon me. And I am just so gracious that I am willing to impart my wisdom upon them. Imagine! Ten years down the road, when each one of them will say “oh wow! I went to school with THE Kokomi Teruhashi!” What an honour for them all!’
What a pain. She’s even arrogant with her thoughts too. And judging by the squinting of everyone else, her glowing aura must be especially strong today.
Not that I can see. You know… because of my x-ray vision.
I didn’t realise she was going to be giving a speech.
“Hello graduating students!” Teruhashi’s voice is as lyrical as ever. “It’s such an honour to be giving a speech here today. I’m so shocked that I was even nominated!”
That’s because the votes were rigged by your fan club.
“But I know that each one of you put your faith in me, so I decided to do my best and come up here with a speech to fill your hearts with wonder!”
I think she means cause a civil war.
“It’s been a pleasure getting to know all of you. And I’m sure all of you will go far in life!”
‘Even though none of you was deserving to be in the same school as me. But that’s okay! I’m just such a kind and perfect Pretty Girl!’
“And I hope you see each of you at our reunion in ten years!”
She flings out a hand, catching her hair and sending, what I assume, are precious gold sparkles into the crowd.
They all go ‘oh wow’ in unison.
‘Did Saiki see that just now?! Did he say, “oh wow!” like the others? Oh please say he did…’
Nope. But I did get some of the gold dust on me. Oh wait, it's glitter.
‘Ugh! That was my last chance to get Saiki to say, ‘oh wow’! What am I going to do?!?! Wait! Maybe I’ll be able to catch him outside?! Perhaps he’s been biding his time to hug me all along! YES! That’s it! Saiki has been too shy to ask for a hug this whole time, but he’s secretly hoped I would hug him all this time!’
Her thoughts are awfully loud today.
I stop listening and duck my head, narrowly missing the glance she sent my way. Nothing good comes of hearing Teruhashi’s delusional tangents. I heard enough to know I should avoid her at all costs – who knows what her cult following might do if they see anyone so much as lay a finger on her.
She’d be risking my life by hugging me, especially out in public right after graduation. I hate attracting unwanted attention. And the kind of attention her club would send my way would certainly be unwanted.
Right on cue, the Teruhashi Fan Club leap from their chairs as she finishes speaking, a standing ovation that could rival the noise of a concert.
Consisting of most of the boy population, the Club has been a main factor in my continued avoidance of our queen bee. There is an unspoken rule that should anyone get too close to her, it would mean execution by firing squad.
Not that I’d heard of anyone actually being taken out like that. But you never could be too careful, especially when Teruhashi was involved.
People tended to lose their heads around her.
Figuratively, I might add, although judging from the way the crowd was shrieking, I wouldn’t be surprised…
“There is still time to marry me, Teruhashi!”
Ah, that must be Metori Saiko, the one boy in the school who could get away with saying that.
Saiko is the resident rich boy of PK Academy, and for the sake of his own skin, he has paid off a large majority of the Fan Club.
He’d realised that money couldn’t buy happiness, or more specifically, couldn’t buy Teruhashi’s love when she had refused his marriage proposal his first week at PK Academy.
That didn’t stop him from trying, though.
But I think the reason he remains unmauled in this situation specifically is because of the five burly bodyguards around him.
Not even Teruhashi’s fans would dare mess with them.
“Shut it, rich boy! ONLY I AM WORTHY OF PRECIOUS KOKOMI!!!”
I spoke too soon.
My eyes land on the source of the yelling.
Teruhashi’s brother.
Oh, right. I forgot families were sitting in the back watching. I suppose that would be normal for most graduations. But right now, it made me uneasy.
So many extra eyes on us. It was like ants crawling on me.
And Makoto Teruhashi, the movie star, was here. He was in disguise, thank goodness, as it would attract far too much attention if the young star were to start a brawl at his sister’s graduation.
Thankfully, no one seemed to have heard his screaming… with any luck, he’ll let Saiko’s comment go.
“I’ll rip the fake Gucci pants right off your legs!”
“HOW DARE YOU! THEY ARE AUTHENTIC!” Were those tears I heard in Saiko’s voice?
It seems I was too wishful in my thinking.
As the scuffle began, the crowd’s attention was divided as Chisato Mera ascended the stage.
And… was she clutching a half-eaten chicken wing to her chest?
“Hellosss good peoplesss…”
Was she drunk?!
“I hop’ the sckoooll provides *HIC* more shhhicken nexchh year. An’ mango juice”
Ah, so it’s the juice. Only someone like Mera could get drunk off of fruit juice.
There was a half-hearted smattering of applause, most of the audience still occupied with a squealing Makoto Teruhashi as he was being led out of the auditorium.
Mr Matsuzaki hurried over, yelling something I couldn’t quite hear.
He body-tackles Teruhashi (still in disguise) and escorts him out. Yeah, you show him who's boss.
“Hey Ku!”
Oh, it's my mother.
“Kusuo! Can you see me!?”
Him too?! Ugh. I know it's my graduation, but can they give it a rest? Their positivity is positively obnoxious given the current situation.
I don’t even want to glance over at the stage. I can tell even from where I am at the back that Teruhashi is making a scene.
I hope his disguise hasn’t come loose…
“IS THAT THE MOVIE STAR!”
“It is! Quick! I wanna get an autograph!”
“We gotta save him from Mr Matsuzaki!”
What a pain.