Chapter Text
It was evening, perhaps later than that, and the android insisted that he'd drive the car himself.
Lieutenant Anderson was currently too drunk to drive a car. ... As if that had ever stopped him in the past, but Connor was a persistent bastard. Usually, Hank could pretty much match the persistent bastardness—but not today. Today he was outpersistented. If that's even a word.
What—ever.
"Just don't crash it." Hank said, downed another glass, and then threw it away into a trash can.
It landed right in it.
Yes.
Score.
"Understood, Lieutenant," the android said, and started walking towards the vehicle.
Connor's expression did not change, but Hank nevertheless felt:
1. Judged, but he didn't know what for.
2. If Hank didn't know any better, he'd say that Connor was probably excited to be driving a car.
So, they got in.
Connor made himself comfortable in the driver's seat, and Hank slumped beside him, in the passenger seat.
...Ooof.
That last glass of—oof— that last glass might have been a mistake, actually.
Out of the corner of his eye, Hank saw how Connor started the engine and drove onto the road. It was illuminated by a few street lights, and if they were in a more rural area, they probably would have been able to see the stars.
Connor looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hank snorted.
But who knew with those androids? Especially Connor. He was—
...
Wait.
Hank raised an eyebrow, carefully eyeing the android.
Connor was focused on the road, scanning everything, even the stuff that didn't need to be scanned, like the goddamn trees.
At least he wasn't licking anything, and calling it analysis of real life samples or whatever.
...Gross android.
For an andoird, Connor was driving pretty decently. However, he was turning his head around far too often, ...and drove a bit toooo slowly, even slower than the signs suggested, which was irritating at best, and annoying.
Hank sat up straighter in his seat and turned on the radio. He didn't know why. He felt like listening to the radio, though.
The lieutenant slumped back into his seat, satisfied with himself.
...Before remembering something quite important.
Did... Did Connor even have a driver's license in the first place? Did he even need a driver's license? There was no way he did—
Hank squinted at the robot from the passenger seat.
"...Do you even have a license?" Hank asked, his expression dead serious. As serious as a drunk lieutenant could be, anyway.
The android didn't even glance at Hank. He watched a pedestrian cross the street. He only started driving again once the human was completely off the road, and even then he paused for longer than necessary.
"...Depends."
...Depends? What kind of answer is that?
Hank blinked at the android, slightly dumbfounded.
...
Probably some weird android shit.
He was about to relax and listen to the music again—
But Hank realised there were more pressing matters at hand, though.
"Wait. Hold on."
The human suddenly sat up straighter.
This was probably the most important question in human history:
"...Since you're an android, and you're driving a car—is this autonomous driving?"
Connor's LED remained a steady blue.
"...No."
The andoird's answer completely flew over Hank's head.
"Oh, fuck no. I don't want my car to be autonomous driving. Gimme the keys."
The lieutenant tried to grab the wheel.
Connor's LED flashed red.
"I am sorry, Lieutenant, but no. You're in no condition to—"
"...Oh, hell I am! If you're gonna cause an accident, who is gonna be responsible for that, huh? Me? CyberLife? Kamski? Markus?"
Hank stopped trying to cause a car accident, luckily for Connor, and instead stared right into the android's soul... If he had one at all.
"I—"
Connor cut himself off with a slight grimace.
"...You are not in any condition to drive."
"Hey! I have driven through worse!"
Hank proclaimed.
Connor paused, his LED shifting to yellow.
"...Unfortunately, I don't have any doubts about that, but the answer is still no, Hank."
Hank grimaced.
"Hey—"
Connor's LED briefly circled red before settling back to blue.
"We have reached our destination. Time to get out, Lieutenant."
The android carefully parked the car, and turned off the engine.
The music faded away.
It was cold for some reason. And Connor was still waiting for Hank to get out of the car first.
...Fine.
Hank opened the car door with probably slightly more force than necessary.
The human could have sworn that the android raised an eyebrow at him.
Hank swayed.
"...Do you require assistance?" Connor asked as he stepped out of the car and closed the door.
"...Depends." Hank grumbled.
Connor didn't comment on it.
The two somehow managed to open the door to Hank's house and were instantly greeted by Sumo. Hank's adorable little—no, wait. BIG DOG.
The dog barked at them, his tail swishing happily.
Hank smiled, despite having to lean on the android to walk straight. (...Since when?)
Connor's LED flashed blue. The android might have been hit by the urge to pet the dog, but one can never know for sure.
They were home, but Hank was soooo going to be hungover tomorrow.
Hank plopped onto the couch, absentmindedly petting Sumo, whose tail was still swishing around.
The android remained standing in the hallway with his hands behind his back.
He was probably analysing everything in sight, as always, while also purposely ignoring Sumo.
"... Well. I am not letting you drive ever again. You need a driver's license, not some android software– update– whatever thing."
Connor's LED suddenly flashed yellow. His eyes landed on Sumo, and one of his hands twitched slightly.
Hank narrowed his eyes.
"And if I acquired a driver's license?" Connor said, staring at the dog as if his life depended on it.
Hank leaned back on the couch.
"Yeah. Sure. I don't give a shit. Just not the way you 'acquire' coins."
Connor fixed his hair, for some unknown reason. Was the android nervous? Or was Hank's alkohol induced brain deceiving him?
Regardless, Connor's LED was brigth yellow.
"Would you mind if I pet your canine companion?"
"...What."