Chapter Text
The first few days were especially hard for his little human friend. The first few days were horrible.
After all those months with hardly any sleep, completely terrified, stressed, and physically and mentally exhausted, it was no surprise that poor Mr. Roe Deer collapsed as soon as he stepped foot into his studio. It was normal. It hurts. It was my first thought. The world was spinning, and spinning. I felt my body burning, freezing, contracting, and stretching, everything and nothing all at the same time. So many words to describe it, and my mind could barely think of any.
He could even say he expected it. Pressure, pressure, pressure. As if my body were about to implode.
All the stress accumulated in his friend's poor body and mind, so many emotions he hadn’t been able to release while in that horrible company, had finally surfaced, and it had taken its toll. I realized I was no longer in the suffocating bathroom of the Tamra Express. I was no longer anywhere. I was nothing. Just pain. The bright colors were burned into my retinas, Braun's voice into my brain. I was forgetting...what was I forgetting?
Soleum had practically collapsed into his arms as soon as their brilliant announcements were over and he had led them to the empty stage. And then, just as it started, it ended. My body feels heavy, with the lingering traces of a blinding pain I had never experienced before. It was worse than dying.
"B-rr" It had been a bit comical, if he were allowed to admit it, how Soleum had practically slid backward, uselessly clutching the lapel of his expensive suit, going down and down... If he hadn't stopped him himself, lifting him by the waist with both hands, it certainly would have been an improper position. I groaned when I felt someone holding me... The cold body bit uncomfortably into my skin at the contact. "...B-rr” It had to be him. I couldn't touch the floor anymore. The unbearable friction of the fabric against my sensitive skin was a different kind of pain. It only made me want to let go, but my body wouldn't respond. It refused to respond.
[Don't worry, friend! This Braun's got you] [Don't worry, friend! This Braun's got you]
And his friend, always so mindful of how others might perceive him, didn't even notice. He only had eyes for his screen, even if those eyes were trembling and his gaze was losing focus. His grip was suffocating me. Let go of me. Please. I looked at him. My throat was dry, numb. Let go of me. Let go of me. Let go of me. I looked at him and-
He would be lying if he said he didn't feel flattered. bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
[😁] [😁] -Ah!
"Bra un,,, Braun!" His words came out slurred, as if he were squeezing his entire brain just to pronounce each letter, without the actual ability to form a coherent sentence. His legs dangled in the air, trying to reach the floor. "Braun,, Braun!" Why are you smiling? I'm going to die. I'm dying.
Amused, he slowly lowered his friend until his feet properly touched the ground. Aren't we friends? Why-
[Allow your good friend to help you] [Allow your good friend to help you]
The human's hands finally let go of the lapels of his suit, now clinging to the hands holding him by the waist, trying to push them away from his body, which was beginning to tremble. Let go of me, let go of me, let go of me, let go of me, let go of me. You're hurting me. I pushed. Or at least, I tried to.
"N-no..." "N-no..." Every word felt like a stab to my throat.
Oh, his poor friend, always so shy. I realized my feet were touching the floor. I needed to do something. Push him away.
He tightened his grip on Mr. Roe Deer's waist, just a little bit. A small action that made him tremble even more. If the problem is standing up, I can do it on my own. Even if my legs shake, even if I can barely see, even if I can barely breathe.
"I can - can I-?" His body kept fighting, his legs barely staying still, shaking and twitching. His grip was the only thing stopping his good friend from falling embarrassingly to the floor. "I can -" But could I really? There wasn't an inch of my body free of pain. "- can I?" I can stand up! Let go of me. I didn't have enough air.
[Of course not, Mr. Roe Deer!] [Of course not, Mr. Roe Deer!]
So he adjusted himself. Or more accurately, he adjusted the human: held him comfortably with one hand, and passed his now-free arm under his knees. He let go of me. Almost. But I can breathe, I can breathe.
[☺️] [☺️]
"What are you-?" He barely managed to let out a tiny squeak of surprise before Braun lifted him up completely. "What are you-?" And then I found myself in the air.
[Much better] [Much better]
Now that he had him in his arms, everything was more noticeable. For whom? Because I only feel worse. I feel the pressure of the blood in my face.
His friend was sweating, his face was pale, he could barely keep his eyes open, and he could almost swear the trembling had increased. I'm going to pass out-
"Pu... put me down..." "Pu... put me down..."
It was obvious he needed to rest. ...
And lucky for him, he was by his side!
Braun carried him in his arms like a bride, with himself as the gallant husband.
And wasn't that an interesting thought?
So now his poor friend lay in Braun's private room —in a bed he had specially made for him— dizzy, sore, and mentally lost. Laying him down there was easy... with how small and light his friend was.
For days, he had stayed by his friend's bedside while the poor thing recovered.
It was something he had come to enjoy. ...
Watching. Something was buzzing.
Simply sitting and admiring his good friend. Watching him sleep, and sometimes, rarely, completely relaxed, with a peaceful expression so different from the distant one he wears when trying to keep his face from revealing all the turbulent emotions inside him. It was purely that: tranquility. And tranquility was all he wished for his friend, of course! Faint. Constant. An unpleasant tingling ran across my face. It didn't quite touch me, but it was there, making the skin on my cheeks prickle.
So he made sure that when his friend opened his eyes, his face would be the very first thing he saw. I frowned before even opening my eyes.
"Ngh" "Ngh"
[It's good to see you awake, dear friend!] [It's good to see you awake, dear friend!]
From what he could tell, Soleum's mind was still an incoherent tangle, jumping from one thought to another. And was that me? No, that's my reflection... I can barely see anything... Did someone speak? From where?
Where am I? Where am I?
Braun? Braun? Is that you?
Soft- ...How soft this blanket is.................. AH!
WHERE-WHERE-
[ ¡! ] Oh, so many colors
[-Are you comfortable, friend?] [-Are you comfortable, friend?] No. I feel as if my body had been taken apart, stuffed with sand, and put back together.
"Braun" "Braun" ...where am I?
[Hm? Yes?] [Hm? Yes?] Though if Braun is with me, then the situation can't be that bad, right?
"...These sheets are very comfortable." Soleum's eyes could barely stay open, blinking lazily as he tried to keep his gaze on Braun. "...These sheets are very comfortable."
[And not just the sheets! You'll find, my friend, that everything; from the pillows, the bedsheet, the duvet, to the pajamas you're wearing, is all of top quality. Only the best for my friend!] [And not just the sheets! You'll find, my friend, that everything; from the pillows, the bedsheet, the duvet, to the pajamas you're wearing, is all of top quality. Only the best for my friend!] I felt I should have been touched. But something inside me.. something was telling me I had to leave. Like a primal instinct I couldn't understand, but it was there, screaming 'run'
"Ah" He tried to sit up, though his arms trembled too much for that, and he kept falling back onto the soft pillow every time. I couldn't even stand up. I felt a cold sweat on the back of my neck. My mind told me to run, but my body didn't understand, didn't obey, trembling and trembling...
Braun gently placed his hand on his friend's back, helping him sit up until he was sitting properly on the bed, and didn't move away, just in case he fell. But Braun was there. So there was nothing to escape from. I was safe.
His hair looked fluffy and messy. It was fun to admire all the different sides of his friend. He held me so I wouldn't fall. Isn't he kind?
"...how long...? how long have I been asleep?" "...how long...? how long have I been asleep?" My words came out slurred; moving my tongue in my mouth and putting my vocal cords to work exhausted me. I didn't remember having so little energy before.
[Just a couple of days, Mr. Roe Deer. Clearly, you were very tired! You should have accepted my job offer sooner... but this Host holds no grudges against you!] ...didn't remember? [Just a couple of days, Mr. Roe Deer. Clearly, you were very tired! You should have accepted my job offer sooner... but this Host holds no grudges against you!] There was that feeling again... My mind was resisting... to what, exactly?
He gave his friend a few reassuring pats on the head. The poor thing had turned pale at the mere thought of having offended him, how adorable.A shiver ran through me. Haven't I gone through something similar before? A contamination that kept me from recognizing his existence, that blocked my mind, that-
[I've been taking diligent care of you!] [I've been taking diligent care of you!] Oh god.
"But... what about your show?" -Right! "But... what about your show?" Horror stories never break their own logic. If Braun was a Host... then the show had to be the most important thing to him. Shouldn't he always prioritize his show instead of keeping an eye on me?
[Always so thoughtful, my friend, but you have nothing to worry about. It is the mark of a true artist to know when to delegate and take time to care for their precious people!] [Always so thoughtful, my friend, but you have nothing to worry about. It is the mark of a true artist to know when to delegate and take time to care for their precious people!] Why are you like this?
[...However, recording for a new edition of my show will begin soon, so what a great time to wake up!] [...However, recording for a new edition of my show will begin soon, so what a great time to wake up!] I wish I hadn't- But, either way, if I had woken up later, what guaranteed he wouldn't have carried my passed-out body?
He could see himself reflected in his friend's eyes. The pupils almost completely dilated. What do I do? Right now he's blocking my exit, and he's huge anyway; even if I ran, he'd catch me. I had never read about anything similar on the DER wiki... where is my phone? My pocket isn't- This isn't my suit
"...Did you... did you change me?" "...Did you... did you change me?"
[🤭] [🤭] Stop it. I'm going to scream
[Of course, Mr. Roe Deer! Besides, I gave you a nice bath. I know how much you hate sleeping dirty; the least I could do was respect your little bedtime routine] [Of course, Mr. Roe Deer! Besides, I gave you a nice bath. I know how much you hate sleeping dirty; the least I could do was respect your little bedtime routine] Why? why? why? why?
"I... ah... I need to get up, I need to get up-" "I... ah... I need to get up, I need to get up-" I need to leave- I need to-
His friend's hands wandered across the bed, brushing against Braun several times before barely touching the nightstand with the tips of his fingers. His legs weren't still either; he tried to kick off the sheet he was wrapped in, but with his clumsy movements, he only managed to entangle himself further. I felt trapped, with Braun in front of me, holding me- was there something on his screen? What was...? No! I needed to get out, but I couldn't move my legs, why couldn't I move my legs properly?
The sight reminded him of a fish out of water, thrashing and jumping desperately, seeking to return to its home- ...though in this case, he was already home. I couldn't reach the nightstand, I needed to support myself, I needed to run-
Ha. Perhaps the analogy wasn't that good in the first place. I felt it, I felt it again. That buzzing, that electrical energy. Did I make him angry? Is this how I die?
Braun let go of him. And watched how, without his support, the poor human fell to the floor, his legs tangled in fabric, dragging down with him the pillows that fell comically over his face. He let go of me. My head hit the floor as I fell. My sight blurred, my limbs, if they barely moved before, now refused to respond. Why?
[Do you need a hand, dear friend?] [Do you need a hand, dear friend?] His voice didn't sound angry... but I couldn't confirm it either.
A brief silence. All those months he was with me in the form of the good friend gave me a false sense of security. In the end, he is a horror story, he brought me here against my will. Will he ever let me go?
"...Yes." "...Yes" What other choice did I have?
[What a show you've put on, Mr. Roe Deer! Very entertaining] [What a show you've put on, Mr. Roe Deer! Very entertaining] ...
Amused, he lifted his friend, holding him with one arm while using the other to pull away the blanket trapping his legs. Surprised, the human clung to the arm keeping him from hitting the floor, without trying to push it away like that first day. He picked me up again. Enough so I wasn't on the floor, but not enough to settle my legs properly. The sudden movement made my dizziness worse. Out of reflex, I clung to his hand. As if the situation couldn't get any worse.