Chapter Text
Kairi was inconsolable after Sora disappeared.
She couldn't sleep. Didn't want to eat. Felt like she'd cried enough tears to fill the sea.
The simple fact of the matter was, she didn't want to live in a world without him. And neither did anyone else. It had only been a couple days, but everyone was still here on the Destiny Islands finalizing their plans to search for him. The Play Island had become their unofficial base of operations for now, and Kairi had already decided on going to sleep on Radiant Garden to see if she could find any clues about Sora in her heart.
But before they all went their separate ways, she wanted to talk to everyone about him. Donald and Goofy were especially kind when she asked for memories of theirs she could collect like treasures for her trove.
The three of them sat on the paopu tree together, watching the sun set over the water as Donald and Goofy spoke and she listened. Kairi didn't trust herself to be alone. Distractions helped. Distractions kept her from thinking too much.
“Gawrsh, Donald,” Goofy said, “do you remember that time Sora saw Will n’ Elizabeth hug, and he got all blushy because he was thinkin’ of a certain special someone?” He nudged Kairi and grinned, and her face flushed pink. It was adorable hearing how lovesick Sora had been. He was unlikely to ever admit these things to her himself, so it was nice hearing them from other people.
If she framed it like that, she could pretend it was still possible for him to admit these things to her now.
Donald snickered. “He sure did! And even as a lion cub he got all flustered and then acted all puffed up when I said Kairi would think he was cute!”
Kairi smiled. “He really did?” She could picture him now, see him strutting around as a lion, and the thought comforted her.
Donald and Goofy both nodded enthusiastically. Maybe this was helping them, too.
“Any other stories about him?” she asked, trying to hide the tremor in her voice.
Goofy rubbed his chin. “Let’s see, I know he wanted to fly with ya in Neverland, and I think he imagined the two of you dancin’, too. In the snow in Halloween Town when he saw Sally and Jack dancin’. Told us he’d never gotten you a real Christmas present. The poor feller felt pretty bad about it.”
“Oh, Destiny Islands doesn't celebrate Christmas the way you guys do,” Kairi explained. “It's more of a romantic holiday, not a friends and family one. So I wasn't at all surprised he never got me a Christmas present.”
Donald and Goofy exchanged looks again.
“I think he regretted it because he wanted to give ya a romantic present, Kairi,” Goofy said. “He seemed pretty upset with himself for not gettin’ you a proper gift. We told him that bein’ with him is what’s special to ya. Told him not to fret about the gift itself so much.”
Kairi smiled sadly. Goofy and Donald were very wise and knew far more about the heart than they got credit for. “You were right. No gift could compare to having Sora by my side again."
And he’d wanted to dance with her? She wished he'd told her. She would've loved to dance with him before he…before he—
More tears threatened to spill down her cheeks, and she rubbed her eyes. There wasn't much light left in the sky now. How had she already survived another day without him? None of this felt real.
Goofy put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re somethin’ special to him, Kairi. He didn't always say it out loud, but I could tell you were always on his mind. Always in his thoughts.”
Donald nodded. “He pulled out that lucky charm you made him and looked at it a lot. Between battles, during meals, after you were kidnapped, before he went to sleep every night…”
Kairi wiped her eyes. “I'm glad he still has it. I just hope it brings him home to me."
“It will,” Goofy said, smiling as he gave her shoulder a squeeze. “Gawrsh, there isn't anythin’ he wouldn't do for ya, Kairi.”
“Yeah, like that time he got on his hands and knees and begged Saïx to see you,” Donald said, and Kairi’s heart felt like it had stopped.
“He did what?" she demanded, and Donald’s eyes went wide as he clapped a hand over his mouth.
“Uh-oh,” he quacked as Goofy gave him a disapproving look. That really solidified to her that what Donald had accidentally let slip must be true.
“He really got on his hands and knees and begged to see me?” she repeated, and they just stared at her sadly. “But Saïx was his enemy, why would he do that?” she asked, her voice breaking.
Goofy held up his hands. “Now Kairi, this isn't really somethin’ he’d want us talkin’ about—”
“But the cat’s out of the bag, you have to tell me. Please. Besides, if it's something I should talk to him about when I see him again, I want to know.”
Donald and Goofy exchanged looks. They were clearly having an entire conversation without using any words about whether or not to tell her.
Kairi fiddled with her enchanted necklace. “I don’t know if you guys know this, but on Destiny Islands…the type of bow he made is called a dogeza bow, and it’s a big deal. You only do it when you’ve really messed up or when you’re begging someone to do you a huge favor. It's about the lowest you can make yourself. It’s really humiliating, and I’ve only ever seen a couple people do it in my entire life.”
A few more moments of silence passed, and then Goofy finally relented. “Alright, Kairi, I guess we can tell ya. We were visiting Hollow Bastion after you’d gotten kidnapped and ran into Saïx. Sora was worried about ya, so he asked Saïx to let him into the realm of darkness. Saïx told him the Organization was takin’ good care of ya.”
Kairi barked out a laugh. “Oh yeah, I felt so welcome and taken care of in that prison cell.” She glanced over at where Isa was a little ways away, talking to Axel on the beach. She still didn't feel comfortable around him and wasn't sure she ever would. He still hadn't apologized for kidnapping her, and Xion had even confided in Kairi that Saïx had called her an it at one point. He had sort of helped Xion and Roxas in the Keyblade Graveyard, true, but still. Months of maltreatment weren’t overcome in a single moment, especially without any apologies. Whatever it was Axel saw in him, she didn't know, and she didn't really care to find out.
“Well, then Sora asked Saïx to take him to you,” Donald continued, breaking her out of her thoughts, “and I think Saïx asked if you were that important to him. Sora said yeah, more than anything, and Saïx told him to prove it.”
Kairi felt a lump building in her throat. Hearing Sora so freely tell anyone, let alone an enemy, that she meant more to him than anything, was making her emotional. How could it not? And now he wasn't even here for her to thank him for it.
“Donald and I were real shocked when Sora got down on his hands and knees and said ‘please,’” Goofy said. “Not because he's a bad feller or anythin’, he’s just awful proud sometimes, you know.”
Kairi did know, which made what he'd done for her that much more heartbreaking and moving. It wasn't enough that he'd sacrificed his life for her multiple times. No, he'd thrown away his pride and dignity, too. Tears blurred her vision again, and this time, she didn't stop them.
“And Saïx was our enemy at the time, too,” Donald quacked. “That made it extra shocking.”
Goofy nodded. “We might not know everythin’ about Destiny Islands culture, but gawrsh, we figured Sora was handin’ himself over on a silver platter and woulda done just about anythin’ Saïx or the Organization wanted for the chance to see ya.”
Kairi wiped her eyes and nodded. Oh how she wished she could’ve been there, to lift Sora to his feet and hug him. To tell him he didn’t have to do this, he didn’t have to grovel, not for her sake, never for her sake, this was never something she would've asked or wanted—
Then another thought struck her. “I’m guessing Saïx said no, or I would've gotten to see Sora sooner.”
Donald and Goofy were silent for a long moment, then they nodded sadly.
Jiminy popped out of Goofy’s jacket pocket, holding his little journal flipped open to a specific page. “Saïx said, and I quote, ‘So, you really do care for her. In that case…the answer is no.’”
Kairi looked over to where Isa was standing again and briefly contemplated murder. To make Sora grovel and beg like that, only to deny him in the end and throw his feelings in his face…as far as she knew, none of the other Nobodies had acted that sadistically, even as they’d struggled to regrow their hearts. What was wrong with him? She was very tempted to throw hands with a man twice as big as her if it meant avenging Sora's honor.
“Sora was hoppin’ mad,” Goofy said, bringing her back from the brink of her violent fantasies.
Donald nodded. “He was as mad as I’ve ever seen him. He sprang to his feet and called Saïx a rotten…well, he got interrupted at that point, but we all knew what he meant.”
“Sounds like Saïx deserved it,” Kairi ground out. Isa glanced at her as the last of the light disappeared beneath the horizon. Maybe he sensed the murderous glares she was shooting his way. “Excuse me, Donald, Goofy, Jiminy, I have something to say to Isa.”
She hopped off the paopu tree before they could stop her. Being angry felt good. Being angry was a reprieve from her crushing grief. Anger was actionable. Grief paralyzed her.
It was time to settle this, once and for all, and she would get Isa to apologize to everyone if it was the last thing she did.
The rest of what she’d learned this evening, well…when, not if Sora came home, she’d take him on a world tour to make all his dreams come true…so long as she won this confrontation with Isa. She needed to keep getting stronger and stronger so she'd be a good support in battle, so she would always win every fight she entered, no matter what.
It was the least she could do for Sora after everything he’d done for her. She had to show through her actions just how much he meant to her, and what better time go start than now.