Chapter Text
“What are you doing awake? It’s late,” Grace spoke from the doorway leading into the Control room, the soft lights of the screens illuminating both Simon’s and Grace’s faces. A wave of eerie silence washed over Simon as he turned to stare at Grace. The scientist’s body always expressed some sort of emotion, Simon noticed; this being a concoction of tiredness, disappointment, and sadness. The expression of Grace staring him down made Simon’s own adrenaline kick up, almost like he was a bug under a microscope the other was inspecting.
Simon shouldn't have been afraid of him. Grace had stitched him back together, fed him, spoken to him with endless patience.
So why did every instinct scream run?
“The map… all the stars and planets are there,” Simon replied, while off topic he was desperate for answers. Grace had been dancing around mostly all of Simon’s questions, instead filling the silence with his research. He’s been here for what he assumes is weeks, and still nothing.
Simon was growing anxious.
This feeling only intensified as Grace’s face went blank for a second, those familiar bright blue eyes staring directly through Simon’s soul. It made his heart pound and his blood rush. There was no way to fight off the doctor if things got physical, not with Simon barely being able to hobble over to the Control room.
“Si, it’s late, and you must be tired; come to bed,” Grace tried again, stepping forward with a familiar soft smile. It spooked Simon with how swiftly the other’s emotions contorted on his face. Even in the ghostlight of the beeping machines, he could see the scientist’s face shift.
“No.” Simon hissed, taking a step back to lean on the map he was looking at moments before. The horrifying reality of being aware that Earth existed, let alone being 16.3 light years away from it.
“No?” Grace paused, leaning over Simon with a soft, worried expression.
Those eyes.
Those fucking eyes.
Grace reached out, gently wrapping a hand around his right arm, pulling him up. Another crashing wave of panic washed over Simon, making him instantly thrash in the hold. “No!” He growled, pushing Grace off the best he could. The scientist didn’t end up far, much to Simon’s dismay.
“Hey- Hey it’s okay Si! It’s okay, I’m here; it’s alright,” Grace shushed, making his easing motion to Simon as he leaned against the pilot chair. His head spun with the movement. His lungs burned after only two stumbling steps. That simple movement had really knocked the wind out of him? He hated how easily his own body betrayed him.
“No! No! No shit! No fuck- fuck fuck fuck-” Simon started to spill out in his spiral, and Grace just watched with a concerned expression, those stupid fucking eyes glaring into his soul. Why wouldn’t Grace just listen? Why would he hide!?
“Si… it’s okay, I’m right here, just breathe.” Grace cut through the silence of machines and his harsh breaths. No. No no. He’s doing it again, Simon dully noted as Grace reached out and took his hand. His whole body trembled at the touch, and he could do nothing but lean on the taller man.
“No! NO!” Simon growled again as Grace hauled him up, stumbling forward and into the scientist’s waiting arms. The convict could feel the warm body heat of the other man, his arms gently wrapping around Simon’s waist. His feet could do nothing but hold him up as he was easily dragged out of the room and down the hall to the medbay. The lights of the Control room faded away past Grace’s shoulder as they entered the dormitory once again. A wave of exhaustion cut off his spiraling emotions, feet dragging on the ground as Grace stepped ahead to move the blankets aside. The familiar soft smile never left Grace’s face as he was dragged into the bed.
“See? Isn’t this better…? No more fussing around,” he reassured, wiping the tears off Simon’s face he didn’t realize he had. Simon let out a short, soft sob, desperate and small; Grace's expression softened even further. Simon couldn’t stop shaking as Grace stared through him, crystal blue almost glowing in the darkest of the Hail Mary.
“It’s all okay now, Si, I’m here,” Grace mumbled softly, running a hand through his hair. When Simon flinched, the scientist’s worry wavered, climbing into bed beside Simon to rest. He laid his cheek on Simon’s right shoulder, hand gently rubbing his chest.
“No… you don’t get it! Fuck.” Simon let in a shaky breath, squeezing another sob to be quiet. Grace softly shushed him, a soft hush from his throat as he pushed Simon back down on the bed.
“No! Tell me! Earth and the stars are there. Mars is there! Why are we not?” Simon practically begged, staring to thrash again, much to Grace’s tiredness. The sheets and blankets were getting kicked around from the convict’s movement. With much of Grace’s mass leaning on his body, he started to ache with exhaustion, especially with the higher-than-usual gravity.
Grace sat up, leaning over Simon, gently rubbing his cheek with his other hand on his chest. “Si… shhh, it’s late; we can always talk about it later, okay? You are still healing; you need res-”
“NO!” Simon screamed.
This tantrum was abruptly halted by Grace hugging him. The scientist cradled his head gently, gently running his hand through his hair. Simon now lay across Grace’s lap, curled up on his lap much like a child.
“I’m here… I’m never leaving. You’re going to be okay,” Grace murmured into his ear, sending shivers down Simon’s spine. He could smell the other’s sterile scent that lingered around every edge of this ship. It was so different from anything he’d ever known; Eden and the COI had never been this clean.
“Why are we so far away? Why are we going further?” Simon asked again, falling limp as his body groaned from his erratic movements.
“It doesn’t matter, dear… just… rest, you’re still injured, and you need to heal,” Grace murmured gently, his tranquil motions never ceasing.
“No- No fuck no! Why aren’t you listening to me!” Simon sobbed again, much to Grace’s deaf ears.
He trembled, but there was no use trying to get away as Grace settled. He lay down with Simon’s head on his chest, hand gently running through his hair. “Please stop fighting yourself. It’s going to be okay, Si”
“Why… Why are you doing this!?” Simon whimpered, his panic falling into desperation. He couldn’t bear himself to move, exhausted with swirling emotions Simon could barely begin to understand. Grace halted his hand that ran through his hair, and the convict froze with the change.
“Simon”
“Go to sleep.”